今天要談的是「我們」。
想想一個問題:939Please respect copyright.PENANAXJjuh7NKfM
決定「我」的行為的是「我」,939Please respect copyright.PENANAFliCLJiMcF
決定「你」的行為的是「你」,939Please respect copyright.PENANARfY5G3fdc0
那麼決定「我們」的行為的是誰呢?939Please respect copyright.PENANAamNLC1ZF54
是「我」?939Please respect copyright.PENANAwB1vspghj0
是「你」?939Please respect copyright.PENANAlMPJ9OGOcr
還是「我們」?
「我們」其實是一個很抽像的概念。939Please respect copyright.PENANAHXZRB4SO6j
「我們」是指「我」和「你」融合成一個個體嗎?939Please respect copyright.PENANAdo1SNrgxVv
當「我們」這個概念成形時,「我」還存在嗎?939Please respect copyright.PENANA46HpSjLP9I
「我」還是一個獨立的存在嗎?939Please respect copyright.PENANAuyt6Uz8eSt
如果在「我們」中「我」還存在,939Please respect copyright.PENANAD7Fg6GLUgY
那麼「你」還存在嗎?939Please respect copyright.PENANA1f7HIB7OiE
當「你」還「我」還獨立地存在時,「我們」存在嗎?939Please respect copyright.PENANA7PyIBAJEE6
人們都經常說「我們」,939Please respect copyright.PENANAZRuNODSjSB
但真的懂「我們」是甚麼意思嗎?939Please respect copyright.PENANAgl9xwFePOU
今天,大家嘗試來研究一下。939Please respect copyright.PENANA6be0bKSxiS
才不是咧,939Please respect copyright.PENANArH6dymhiJR
今天只會說一下對待「我們」的正確方式。
其實,939Please respect copyright.PENANAXVdMcGCTow
「我們」跟「我」和「你」不是同水平的概念,939Please respect copyright.PENANANOj6f434S1
所以是可以共存的概念。939Please respect copyright.PENANAjnRfYK3OnU
就好像「男性」跟「人類」不是同水平的概念,939Please respect copyright.PENANAVYs5wdeC2a
所以我可以是一名「男性」「人類」。939Please respect copyright.PENANApKOIOkEqE3
不會有人說你要不是「男性」要不是「人類」吧?939Please respect copyright.PENANASywJCpke9I
進一步說,939Please respect copyright.PENANA2YlAkwhhts
「我們」存在的條件是「我」和「你」同時存在。939Please respect copyright.PENANAV86031AXfF
只有「我」不叫「我們」,939Please respect copyright.PENANAwWdmek6vYG
只有「你」也不叫「我們」。
但通常大家是怎樣看待「我們」呢?939Please respect copyright.PENANAvpPoOptFhk
「我們」是由「我」主導的,939Please respect copyright.PENANA9Nq6ILiJsk
而「你」,消失了。939Please respect copyright.PENANAU7vc1ilslA
這樣的結果是,939Please respect copyright.PENANAWQHRO00yTS
那個原本叫做「你」的人成為了「我」的一部分,939Please respect copyright.PENANAVpzhDbnS7W
(為了方便閱讀,我把『原本叫做「你」但現在成為了我一部分的人』簡稱為「原人」)939Please respect copyright.PENANAvLBk9ZFEFI
「我」怎樣對待自己就怎樣對待「原人」。939Please respect copyright.PENANAd1XMaZECks
所以當「原人」做出一些與「我」想法不一致的行為時,939Please respect copyright.PENANAEEAoeKgPMN
「我」與「原人」的關係就會變得很奇怪,939Please respect copyright.PENANAJSYzKibwrl
因為「我」是不會做出與「我」想法不一致的行為,939Please respect copyright.PENANAi2qmBBRAeR
但身為「我」一部分的「原人」卻做出這樣的事?939Please respect copyright.PENANAjHVR4aOvx6
那結果由誰負責?939Please respect copyright.PENANAHwDhI7bfFa
「我」做的事當然由「我」負責,939Please respect copyright.PENANAvGz5zLI7HS
但其實這是「原人」做的事,939Please respect copyright.PENANAXqOOD7KcOA
怎麼要「我」負責呢?939Please respect copyright.PENANAia6ijVj0Xf
「原人」是「我」的一部分,939Please respect copyright.PENANAskDCiCMyzy
「我」要負責的事就交給「原人」負責吧。
看見了嗎?939Please respect copyright.PENANAZKHVqkZhrs
當人類把「我們」當成「我」時,939Please respect copyright.PENANATMzOgQVbos
關係會變得非常混亂與複雜。939Please respect copyright.PENANA7NZ3jRRj9T
更重要的事,939Please respect copyright.PENANAuiYEBgJnh0
其實人們還是會從「我」之中分出了「原人」的概念,939Please respect copyright.PENANAf4nkTDneuf
而「原人」其實就是「你」,即非我的概念,939Please respect copyright.PENANA2pAKSy31ky
「我們」根本不存在。939Please respect copyright.PENANArn0boE1cYv
因為把「我們」看成「我」,939Please respect copyright.PENANAmPINssQJGh
根本就是一個錯誤對待「我們」的方法。939Please respect copyright.PENANAlpZsk4RRui
記得,「我們」存在的條件是「我」和「你」同時存在,939Please respect copyright.PENANAEWpGSpFOso
「你」是不能被消去的。939Please respect copyright.PENANA9fzsyjTF2t
在「我們」中不消去「你」的做法就是尊重「你」的獨立存在。
上面的內容也太抽像,我嘗試舉例來具體化一下。939Please respect copyright.PENANACWWSmouyQe
今天一對情侶來繳費,939Please respect copyright.PENANAbRbyGtMFI1
男的一手拿著現金,939Please respect copyright.PENANAcAYt5pOGOh
另一手從褲袋取出繳費單,939Please respect copyright.PENANAAxLAmTRMKQ
結果手機被繳費單牽著,939Please respect copyright.PENANAclCrAJksJC
從褲袋出來並丟在地上。939Please respect copyright.PENANAaoVQuwlxmX
這時,939Please respect copyright.PENANAZ4hoLxoZQc
男的回頭跟女的說:「你唔見我兩隻手好忙架咩,做咩唔幫我?」939Please respect copyright.PENANA41hiA3sS3K
當「我們」(戀人)被當作「我」(男),939Please respect copyright.PENANA31tWawzwuv
「原人」(女)就要明白「我」(男)所想,939Please respect copyright.PENANAw0Wt2yvLx4
所以即使「我」(男)不說,939Please respect copyright.PENANACaQXWyeyt3
「原人」(女)應該也會為了「我」(男)而行動。939Please respect copyright.PENANAtK7KcvaQV8
這是男的思考方式,939Please respect copyright.PENANAOd1YfrjK4B
不然他沒有責怪女友的底氣吧?939Please respect copyright.PENANAbwWJbXj0Be
若果男的懂得尊重女友作為「你」的存在,939Please respect copyright.PENANAwyilcJRu06
他會明白女友不一定明白「我」所想,939Please respect copyright.PENANAt7eexk8gE1
因為「你」不是「我」,939Please respect copyright.PENANAG1WbjTorby
他就不會做出責怪女友的行為。939Please respect copyright.PENANA5XPbqJClwp
再三提醒,939Please respect copyright.PENANAM5gDwJcTPk
「我們」存在的條件是「我」和「你」同時存在。
當人類把「我們」當成「我」時,939Please respect copyright.PENANAL4QIDoPs8Y
兩者就會很容易吵架。939Please respect copyright.PENANAHKcTfZKa4b
當「我」和「你」研究「我們」這個概念時,939Please respect copyright.PENANAvmK4eixMmI
「我」所想的「我們」是「我」,939Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7zUFkuNGa
「你」所想的「我們」是「你」,939Please respect copyright.PENANAAQZReUBtVP
兩個「我們」的不脗合會產生問題,939Please respect copyright.PENANAs6B8zqxTAi
成了「我」的「我們」(即「我」)與「你」的「我們」(即「你」)的碰撞,939Please respect copyright.PENANAonptuP4NAi
這樣的情況怎麼能不吵架?
這樣的情況普遍發生在親密的人身上,939Please respect copyright.PENANAdaUnDf3hV3
家人、朋友或戀人這類親近的人。939Please respect copyright.PENANASGv1dHWg6T
所以大家要記得:939Please respect copyright.PENANAqC39ar6S4n
一,永遠不會有一個人完全理解你所想,除了自己。939Please respect copyright.PENANAPxl2IQFBl5
二,因為一,所以對待「親近的人」也不要把「我們」看成「我」,消去了「你」。939Please respect copyright.PENANA9C5P0GK3mf
三,為了讓對方不輕易消去「你」的存在,要適時調較兩者間的人際距離,讓對方在意「你」的存在。
然後落實到說話技巧方面,939Please respect copyright.PENANA9ywIM9GEoM
不要再濫用「我們」來表達「我」的想法,939Please respect copyright.PENANAgSrRxNGhP1
因為這樣對對方好不尊重,939Please respect copyright.PENANAWtPNqUg1jp
沒有親人喜歡被你不尊重。939Please respect copyright.PENANALgYwDf8HyE
「我們」這個詞只適合向第三者表達「我」和「你」討論後的共識。
939Please respect copyright.PENANAgDnYjYmxOx