Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3iSV6S3Cg
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMs7nmnJpq
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6gHwQvCpi
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“I love you,” he said.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4E7KZ1hsFh
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24IVkRnsx7
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“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHN2cEoTPu
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“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjP3TUelXP
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“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuavVtwNERj
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“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakFWeRTT4E
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“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp51679wjrs
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJQFS4gJnf
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The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYe0qR8e6J
775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCLxa1raCV
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfglF8Mvbg
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“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SqB0F6Qle
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She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoy5D6vWs0
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It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqSObDnXXC
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He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuOqto4Rrk
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Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekMWBrlUNR
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He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvNGs8UWrw
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He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10ob21QGyV
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He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CCwyv6jPe
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One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzcqscZRcp
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“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfsC9AG7Th
775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW87rdImQDB
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhhY879HxF
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“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBiRbcipAD
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“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kj1W5nVKV
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Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgfyINiZM5
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“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOWT9dQhcb
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“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJEntkeT1b
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“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC2GJgMgMn
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“Oh, Master’s then?” 775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0kdGSmwTI
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“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjlhdKuQTO
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“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bK13NMFoI
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Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9mVrSMk6I
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“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoNtgXP8fH
775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0CRBMXTZs
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4YWMgIvDA
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He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTIM6mH5om
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He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOELavdHneW
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He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcycDX9A15h
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He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8iWhjt6DQ
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It isn’t possible.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwcQMcBoci
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzM3iY1lXG
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He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPydz2YZa1
775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmGU9VeCOM
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO6spsyfI0
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If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPrMadgehq
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But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIcmHCU19w
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Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmnAAV897Y
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“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOyYqPrQgG
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“Like what?” he said.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZcE7ebLrQ
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4M4iSMOWE
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSNPPiIAYV
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“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnklEgEsmYP
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Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BgHVju64o
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“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O826vHwKt
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Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2hpJU52oH
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“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqF5NGqM4U
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This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HPuOOv0NC
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Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnNcw9PcyS
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Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8D2cIzg5k
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“Who are you?” she murmurs.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXcBkFuF0n
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He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4b16khMiLE
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“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUW6x9Cu0Cm
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“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDujQx8b449
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He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ43wpkCUu6
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“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyYbhDBfDF
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He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.775Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYuqyEvGVX
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