9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvmQrtF5Tc
The apartment still smelled like her shampoo.
That subtle lavender clung to the corners of the couch, the pillows, the throw blanket she refused to part with even on humid nights. Andrei sat in the dim light of the living room, surrounded by the quiet — but it was a kind of quiet that pressed into his ribs, not the peaceful kind.
He hadn’t cried in years. Not when his father died. Not even when Colleen walked out.
But tonight, he couldn’t stop.
The letters he had written — all nine of them — sat inside the drawer by her side of the bed. He re-read them all, and hated every word. Not because they weren’t honest, but because they had come too late.
Andrei reached for his phone.
He didn’t know why he tapped his mother’s name, but the ringing comforted him — even if she didn’t pick up. But she did.
“Anak?”
He froze.
He hadn’t spoken to her in weeks. Maybe months. Since before everything started crumbling.
“Ma…” his voice cracked. “Can we talk?”
The Mother Who Always Knew
His mother didn’t say anything at first, just listened to his breathing. When she finally spoke, it was with the kind of softness that could break a man.
“You sound tired.”
“I am,” Andrei admitted. “Tired… and ashamed.”
There was silence. Then: “Is it Colleen?”
He swallowed hard. “She’s gone, Ma.”
“She left?”
“No, I made her leave,” he said bitterly. “I didn’t push her out the door, but I broke everything that made her want to stay.”
And then it all came out.
The secrets. The lies he told Colleen and the bigger ones he told himself. The excuses. The woman in the shadows. The way he minimized what he’d done — because he hadn’t slept with her, he thought he hadn’t cheated. Because he was always physically present, he thought that was enough.
“I became him,” Andrei whispered.
His mother’s breath caught. “Your father.”
Andrei nodded, though she couldn’t see it. “He lied to you. Hid things. Made you feel small. I remember the fights. I remember how quiet you were after.”
“You were a boy, Andrei.”
“But I knew,” he said. “I saw what it did to you. And I swore I’d never… I’d never be that kind of man.”
A pause.
Then she asked, “Do you still love Colleen?”
He broke again.
“With everything in me. But what if love isn’t enough, Ma?”
“It isn’t,” she said simply. “But change… change might be.”
Alone Again
After the call, Andrei sat motionless in the dark, her side of the bed still untouched.
He pulled out another page.
Letter #10
Colleen,
I don't deserve you.
But I’m going to become the man who would.
Not to win you back.9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcfcFeeOeu
But because I never want to lose a love like yours again — in this lifetime or the next.I’m not writing this to ask for a second chance.9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhVt0SYxTR
I’m writing this to promise: the man who hurt you won’t survive this.I’ll kill him myself.
He folded it with trembling fingers.
This one, maybe… he’d send.
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