《noA》 - 3 | Penana

然而我係搭同一架巴士嗰陣走嘅時候，又遇到同一個搭訕男。

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「又見面喇～

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呢頭咁遠，你嚟做咩？」

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無探究人哋係咩職業，但呢個時間點出現，除咗係特登嚟撞我，無任何理由。

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做人最緊要識假笑：

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「你咪一樣，我無咩嘢需要人跟蹤啊嘛？」

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萬一佢係另一個人面前講係我度『體驗唔好』，我又要畀自己心理準備，去為未來嘅自己洗脫莫須有嘅罪名。

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佢示意要坐入一格，佢要坐係我隔離，無隔一條巷。

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又一個只係理自己人，唔理人感受嘅人。

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坐到我隔離，又迫我望完佢：

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「你喺咪對我有啲誤會，我當年無得罪過你。」

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「哦。」

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見到佢好委屈咁望住我，夠我委屈咩？

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我連唔可以拒絕同你一齊坐都已經好委屈，真心哭撚咗....

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會唔會有一日，會有人為我覺得委屈...

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好想有一日，有一件事，或者有一個細節，係自己稱心如意，如果有計劃就唔會走偏軌道。

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因為而家嘅隨心遇到嘅人事物、甚至係環境，係一定無可能輕易接受，返嚟嘅時候預少咗，估唔到會咁壓抑，我完全融入唔到。

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「一齊食餐飯？飲杯嘢，唔叫其他人，我畀錢。」

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突然聽到佢開朗邀約我去食飯，完全無視我嘅壓抑，但佢都有返啲分寸...

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人哋對我貼心少少，就覺得人哋有進步，其實我都好無用，想要人哋關心嘅心態太渴求，被人睇穿就玩完。

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抱住『多一個朋友好過多一個敵人』嘅心態，我應承之餘都講出我嘅要求。

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「想食啲無咁多味精嘅嘢，想飲無氣嘅嘢，AA。」

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見到對面有啲無奈，無同我爭論，下一秒又好快好開心咁同我講廢話：

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「OK落車叫你，你抖一陣先，你好似好攰咁樣...」

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又係真有啲攰...

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措不及防同生命中最大嘅宿敵見面，應對完嘅我真係好攰，無人知道，我要用半生嘅勇氣同力氣，先可以做返自己。

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半夢半醒之間聽到有人細細聲講嘢，同時細細力拍我膊頭—

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「醒喇醒喇～

尾站要落車喇～」

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驚醒到彈起差啲撞到頭，本來曲到半直嘅腳同膝頭因為急促而感到酸痛。

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「你做咩唔叫醒我！唔好意思...」

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見到人好輕鬆咁安慰我：

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「咩地方都可以食飯，攰就要抖，又唔趕時間，聽日又唔洗返工。」

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司機催我哋落車先傾，落車之後望到周圍環境，瞓著咗無認路，喺完全陌生嘅環境，擺低姿態認低威係最適當嘅行動。

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「呢餐我嘅，唔好意思。」

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「你一時一樣嘅，AA，我揀咗食貴嘢～」

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一時Get唔到佢嘅講法，點解有一種撒嬌嘅感覺...

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係我Get錯咗，定佢Get錯咗？

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我哋去咗一間私隱度高嘅小店食飯，佢同店員落單有傾有講，即係話呢間舖頭再好食，都唔可以成日過嚟食。

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「好唔好食？」

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佢主動幫我夾餸，睇住佢想我食佢夾嘅餸，我硬住頭皮放入口，好彩真係好食。

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背脊骨落，都要吞入口先，要等到返屋企先嘔出嚟。

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