Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3fITCfrQd
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQrIFXyNHu
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynhSLYajGY
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPo79YPArN
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4TeS91EzO
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GtfWuut4m
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zRs2FawDT
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaqBo1RUoe
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EGRZDQRv1
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvX084zBRV
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZur2Atvcz
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ455piQCKe5
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKqS9LhSu6
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqx99KgT0ml
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQc20RGvyvk
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpXvkekjWp
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBSR0KcDdr
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOS67NIWDhh
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3V5U53BxO5
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIcAZ7q0g9
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡML4RzgwAsm
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEODng48YV
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Jv7lxWQHA
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoidQUnZTZF
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNckmrnLgWC
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TkGk72G2Y
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZLlFKckIV
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Jex7km72E
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99ZcG9yxAf
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiT9GAvBsmw
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwbAh1eRm2
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In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCagucGMD9
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8nh28zskE
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyy4ccn2U1l
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIJ4ocaEcx
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx7jtivbnu
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaeuAeNAg9
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR885PNEBE4
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWLfE1cxRq
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAVfHqpnEZ
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sqipguZrL
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UFGMSQhgv
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco4ZSjYbcI
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dO878blfe
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCDyBfMCyT
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR699snVRWd
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABkU3RrUIO
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ys5pKVZqE
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQDTbMKQUO
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl97ntVYdRv
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVbzyKwHYE
*•*•*•*774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJ5kDjLqe5
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokL7xovnof
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwnEoTAQQF
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju9PO2cJZ4
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHajdhEemC
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9SidP1caP
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm2AYUebrW
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5A1P7vVfi
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXoeBvA54I
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8feYFV5Zd4
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22ZbxcVtTR
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRo2m28aOg
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0BBTEpKHJ
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeI2ykdfwct
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrqjtQznsD
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqmL196798
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuWLx0auR7
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyn8PuHM8Vu
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T8KVSzM6K
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzzfWDrRkq
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12fdLMChDL
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGS97fpSjz
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4OKUyeRUQ
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGICtc5AGru
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3NP6NhOZP
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYtOUefTBd
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh8XVjwTnA
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IxQqMzNyu
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ7GkFZv6l
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJ6JsWLBpJ
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfQ9lcRcnW
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJv0lcP51M
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoirXLnWNAJ
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOit8uVxvv
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLq2jBci9f
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpimuthAnW
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNtMaPQOfr
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9iCdEQzDR
"It won't be painful—"774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPVd3ulmhu
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjF7JOfsqjy
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH6UpWRMUH
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8UGwmwl7E
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34FGahiGqe
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzxFzRTNuL
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTspPp8PHW
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zE6eDp1gJ
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aNu1bJklu
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eBi19harr
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ102yIXGeKM
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGC5eNHxGS
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPhVUoWBmt
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAwLTmyZ1S
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvtTB9QF5N
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUeABpgaJo
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVCQ2EUoKT
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAg9xL2EyR
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXd4ZBB8f0t
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJTSL5eBJ5
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SrFriBuGG
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBC5QzOrwlM
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40Ayv7E5Pm
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzDxPABIna
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This is it.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZHusnHGWD
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnoTnXwMUc
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eS9z6FUTC
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRLgfJUlAq
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdOUXhF0jP
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoMxjgILqV
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZ2j1pDco2
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgS1DZWRy0
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VBp7Eass7
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oMWVgjrQ5
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNsRHox5WO
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlRo1Qy9BT
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnV8SEl5bC
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeNRb6amWG
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDGAVQbh0Q
I freeze.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGlsH03mP8
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpkwLy76KJ
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOT2i3tlru8
Then I breathe.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcM4QnvSLM
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyW8kdxdsw
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8b7JPmfxU4
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWpktUJg31
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhxtlk6bLH
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHA82POjEu
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPvIknlbAV
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡachq5zonAA
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYaVhEtotY
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9auz6LHr0
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47fsGLP0qn
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BUlPGbraM
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJMcuaw86Y
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD90zSJjNES
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTwEhTCTqc
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8oqKIapob
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVKhwNZ9I3
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsJokr8D32
Something isn't right.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6JEVBsobl
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTFGAqMW3j
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6NvP8WBi2
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhIZqqQW4z
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlvi3M38za
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4S63CJtlZ
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntDx5lPJJV
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooG2JhoKV5
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGI1ruNoPQ9
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivk8wwDZQh
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zzxGzfI5e
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MT2bha1hg
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGgRnZmuH5
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRJT8J5jUA
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxijpb6P7D7
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx35hjUZ6Wu
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrLluMKF87
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wEr7zHY7N
His lips twitch. 774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxXf6lZumJ
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQwhDX2auY
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNQg2yHzwQ
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7ne2mErpS
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8iF8dVTDw
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jUqaUXOcx
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxsx24S4ec
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnC0n5QPYf
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRVrWxjkSu
"Okay so what do I have?"774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2UNVrEWSy
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡul8Lsscp1x
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeG71cvJlxn
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWgQSLjpUk
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdLnJreJfY
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHer7sptG9
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Z38u7Zk62
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpBOCzKEim
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGO6Jjm66w
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOvGlm30lL
774Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RIKE1StnI
