Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIeWc4ZLuK
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas1sSB9XHb
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZ6iDFaD2L
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Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiF7OMsuwrW
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxAZhY2Pk2
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It's what's inside of me that's the problem.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2ikP5Tx0G
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850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQNm6yPn0c
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyg0QFlYzV
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRTqK225oc
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70a4gIrL3K
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9a2BU4vl7q
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHciqSu2fi
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My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI8fLCxnHI
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0zpPbMgIf
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTRwUsCy5j
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpf9UCGgpx
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9mJbUQ5tH
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I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohYfugNTq8
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JJwZgImp5
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I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7e0hauUQWE
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3nGhdTSmz
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"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTLUr0Auji
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjr0zMhc89k
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In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0ZLq7guZs
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEioa63Jvj
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrKvVUQIQ2
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVn0oWNU0Q8
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMbSwmCrO6
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She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MLkWwVb40
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEvYPg1jB4
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdI0fyFSlh
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwI9GPFmk9i
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokAn8Li2YT
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"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLJXOppNUs
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVxs3EVP0O
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She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaUyOGfEZr
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65oiU0mqV1
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*•*•*•*850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQkW8XJG3U
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvprcYb721V
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqY8ZDx2DM
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I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofpP5eGOD3
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhy16vMtxdq
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"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyetaySKXpj
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWzAMayoQe
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"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6VNolQ8Oc
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJDJz730oO
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"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiouhN3BU5n
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIALsDGtz0
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLQ8ZcSd2v
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrD5lzwNgoN
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyu1c7Wk5V
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And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxTeiXS2ND
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0thfS5YCDl
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4jMzixRrU
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwmlYHhYp9
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He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11EUj0cNfP
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4k05Arz8gK
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y59GORBJF
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UgaRgp751
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All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DyLApsvNz
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGcbqh4CDq
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He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6WmR9hgIX
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvWaxyt0hu
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"It won't be painful—"850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwpScvBfPW
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqx6tO5J8W6
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"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkv9hp4tfL
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEBFDNQ8Ec
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I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5OvLOgxdj
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmwqYZjJGI
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He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GosyX0oYf
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqSh29Gdsa
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What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2trrIPUXlb
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I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hsW9EZVSn
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Y14Hs9TCI
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He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkozjbRfr4
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyMnOGseyS
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However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxbH1rqdt9
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This is it.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OlzJb4ifs
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850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSthZQaMoR
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIBgz2FnXa
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PrGqW9JF1
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX54PYfJ2M3
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkYIm0zNdR
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfHADDnBOT
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I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdx60h6Jk1E
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"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEJYsIDdsp
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFMtJR11RT
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I freeze.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxJ9Gx34XC
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeXw9XK7qA
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte65m4Iaze
Then I breathe.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebp6rNpeFA
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1gL75dWgE
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IZ3cC78CO
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcr6JB1NaxV
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGA1sxn1bv
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However, as soon as that breath is released, I 850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hsjbIj0cl
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyD4b5jOcM
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7o8Oyi4C2w
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE94ymKY0fQ
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHKrYX3IlQ
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2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvp8e0us3q
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYclNiLEebQ
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3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5trS3vLBy
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJXsjjr5n4
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiOzbCYsdQ
Something isn't right.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRE4XXUIFRL
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPju4Yc99dP
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSFbGoacYV
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2TZJIUWvY
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoFnQB6474
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxaR97QYaF
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiouCFvnZk
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiS1Qh0HF7
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He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvAlMg32vd
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWoDkklt21
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"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSU1iGRlSdq
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ496VveMvI
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRV06WVfr6
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5w7dZBqVY
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvgeR0y2e8
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His lips twitch. 850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCUERtBIyG
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwukMmhP5Il
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOdPtxiYV2
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmRVz6YvVJ
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNDNyCxwkV
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Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITVkmLb4wi
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JNFpjJRZk
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuGGYFedwt
"Okay so what do I have?"850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwRexAyTa1
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"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEfo8YG7mC
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLTIDuFP0I
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850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JejS45VPi
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850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpabHlZ0kf
850Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicI1WkKXIB
