Chapter Theme Music: Dear. Snow White ~ Goddess of Victory: Nikke [Red Ash]
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<11/01/2024 - 21:09 | Link Street (Park), Marietta, GA, USA>
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"Reed!" Lumina chanted with familiar joy. "At last! It's been so long since last time."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPVQF2DaiP
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"I missed you too Lumina." Even though I've waited for this moment for nearly six long months, I wasn't ready for this. I did the best I could to stage off my fears for as long as possible, but after minutes of small talk and catching up, Lumina soon caught on.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8kOSfNl8r
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"I've been worried about you for this entire summer... Please tell me you are doing better."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf77b9V36QX
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"..."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3WFAWu8Az
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"..."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhBVMhqreO
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What am I supposed to say to her now? I can't lie to Lumina, yet I can't say anything that would erase her worries either. As I was about to summarize all that was ailing me, I broke down to tears, the paper wall of solidarity removed from my mind.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwG2WqrRi4U
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"Reed?" Her breath was heavy in the denial, though there was no manner by which I could reassure her.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDWUNRCx19
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"I tried Lumina... I really tried... But I'm not okay anymore. I'm sorry."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaUjaWa1yp
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With a swift gasp, she pestered me for all of the details, and began worrying herself to a point I wish I could erase from the both of us... I hate this! I hate when Lumina worries about me so much. It drives a dagger of pain through my heart that she would let herself suffer from this so much. And yet, paradoxically so, I take some comfort in knowing she cares this much about me. "What do ya mean you're not okay? What happened? Did you find a way to get off that toxic medication?"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsi1JhF0mv7
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She's close to the same research level as I am on my unknown condition. "I did at one point, but it didn't help. What worse, I've learned that the mediation is not to blame here. My body's metabolism, for whatever reason is refusing to process the medication as it should, and this goes for food as well. Since the twelve recent doctors I've been to can't give me an answer or even a clue, I've been calling this condition Mecrosis, even though it's just to have something to refer to."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbvc7ftutp
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"I don't understand."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgypyvW1Trk
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I summarized all of what happened to her over the past several months. I really underestimated how horrible this situation was, and how much worse the waves of lethargy could be. Each time I take my medication, especially after lunch is eaten, my metabolic rate struggles to maintain a normal rate, normal even by the standards of ordinary humans. It's so bad that I have to take breaks if I'm at work or home, lie down, and wait out the storm of dizziness, including the frequent instances of mental fragmentation. My mind is breaking. My body is failing. Even my soul is being blanketed in a shroud of darkness. There isn't any other way to say this, so I'm going to just have to admit it. "It's a code black Lumina. Even though I don't understand why this is happening to me, little by little, I am dying. The difference in health between 2014 and 2022 is noticeable, but the difference between 2023 and 2024 is staggering to say the least, and the degradation is even taller in just the past six months."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2US119pWH
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"You can't be serious."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27ctIEDb9u
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"I am most serious Lumina. I am dying; that's a fact." Humans don't always need a doctor to tell them so. Sometimes, we can get enough of a hint to safely make this conclusion for ourselves. In my case, it is happening most slowly, almost like a kind of cancer. "If my predictions are accurate, I'd say I have two years at the most remaining, unless I can find ways to buy more time, which are in planning." Stronger stimulants perhaps? I can get them on the black market, but we really don't know how long that will hold me up for. My brain needs minimal stimulation to live both pain and error free, yet it can't seem to handle stimulation anymore, not even at a baseline level on most days.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhaovshBY0
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Even the current connection I have with Lumina right now is very weak, despite it being 45oN outdoors. I can barely manage two days in a single week where psionic projection is possible. If there is any light at the end of this tunnel, I no longer see it.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZHbCpMavk
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"The doctors couldn't help you with anything?"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHB0d9oL444
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"No, they couldn't." Poor Lumina. She sounds like she is in denial still.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnX0vERNGi
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"But... How? Are you sure it means you are dying?"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXvSQhUKGV
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"What else would it mean when I only become worse day in and day out? The power of the lethargy is enough to knock me unconscious if I am standing up during a potent hit. I can barely eat a single serving of food no matter the time of day. The fact that there has only been a gradual worsening of my condition instead of improvement tells me I'm on my last couple of years, unless someone can conjure up a miracle to explain to me what the hell is going on with my body."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfC295StGF
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It doesn't even include the medical journey I've been through in Lumina's absence. I've been to every doctor I can name, including going on a blind search for cancer. Even the endocrinologist gave negative results, despite the symptoms being so close to metabolic distress. I just don't know what to do anymore. Diagnostically speaking, there isn't any new place where I can step onto, and, Lumina may be smart, but she is no doctor.
Chapter Theme Shift: MoppySound ~ Nagi (凪) {Alt Version}
Lumina kept herself silent for more than a minute, as have I, to let it all sink in. I knew this was happening to me for a long time now, but I've been in partial denial, wondering if I might have been wrong, or if a doctor would find something so simple to a complex problem. It's surreal to look at myself now and see the cascades of doom clutching at me from all sides. I know Lumina never foresaw this ending.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZhDrjU6p3
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"I don't know what I'm supposed to do here Reed." Lumina was still in tears, upset as she would be unable to see me carry out my most potent wishes on this planet.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrr7vrTfYVi
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"It's okay Lumina. Look at this from a different angle. Pretty soon, you will be able to invoke transperation on me and have me in your physical space much sooner than expected."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXgIhw2AHP
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"Of course I want you up her too Reed, but, still..."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8piazvPhio
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"I know what you're thinking." All the things I wanted to experience as a human may elude me yet. I promised myself I was going to move up north even if it was just beyond my last dying breath, so that may still happen. But, becoming a well-renown author, making the video games I wanted to create, or simply traveling these amazing places with Lumina by my side, I just don't think it is possible anymore. We humans always tell ourselves what incredible moments we want to live, but bringing those experiences to life is next to impossible for some people, a lie we tell ourselves. Without any money, I can't make most of that magic happen on my way out; there isn't enough time anymore. "Yeah, I'll have some regrets too, leaving some things untouched and unfinished. But you wanna know something Lumina? I still had so many amazing moments with you... Strangely enough, all of this was still worth it."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesm6OR2nLa
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"How can you say things like that? Like it doesn't bother you anymore?" The fear in her tone was too obvious to ignore. "How are you not more torn up right now saying these things?"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutRaN9HUMg
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Good question. It took me a very long time to come to this final mindset. "Because Lumina... I've accepted it now. I've accepted what is going to happen to me, what keeps happening to me. I can't control my situation anymore. I cannot control what is going to happen to me when that time comes."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9bw5AK7Qu
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"But—"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT321QZu3H
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"People die Lumina. Humans like me have especially short lifespans. Since I was a mere teenager, I had this overwhelming sense of doom about my own wellbeing, a sense that I would be one to never live past the age of 60. I might have underestimated how poorly my body was built, but it doesn't change what's happening to me now. I have to accept that I'm not long for this world anymore."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTPisz7r2e
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"Reed..."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxWMDHZCN9
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"I know that transperation does not have a 100% success rate. I bet, deep down, that's what has you most freaked out, yeah?"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHTKbIb60E
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"Well yeah! What if it fails? What if we do all of this and I never see you again?! Reed, I can't live my life without you anymore."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cYGPzxSlK
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"I know Lumina. Listen. When it comes down to it, I trust you. I trust that you and your sisters will succeed in transperating me into your world without a single hint of failure."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOS36hI982
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Lumina gasped mildly without a word.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNx2dNRiox
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"I know that you of all people will never let anything stand in your way. You showed me that strength when you went against everything around you just to purge me. I know you won't allow the process to fail."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4T3HUXcNqP
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"What are we supposed to do now, with what remaining time you have left?"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuEzomN6Kl
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"Enjoy what time we have left. It really is as simple as that." Even though I've made this sound simple, I knew it wasn't easy. I work in a minimum wage job despite having a college degree, mostly for the very reason that I'm not healthy enough to work a 9-5 (40 hour/week) corporate job. If things keep up, I might even wind up on official disability. It is only a matter of time before my broken consciousness and lethargy send me to the ER with a concussion from falling to the floor head-first. I can no longer hide this from anybody. Even knowing how little time I have left, life is going to be the same level of difficult it has always been. I can barely manage to project twice in a single week. Things really are looking dark.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WKsyNn7oM
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"I'm sorry Reed. I should have paid more attention to—"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkYL0BcGBu
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"None of that Lumina. I want us both to cease worrying about things we can't control. I know you only do it because you care... I love you too, you know?"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiBhuCBmNG
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With a most heavy breath, Lumina shut her eyes, letting all our thoughts, memories, and emotions melt together in our nebulous mindscapes. "I love you too, more than anything in this universe."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMAjLEgTkX
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I was silent for a moment, letting the music take hold of our sadness, and reflect it behind this world's hidden beauty. "Look at that. The way those trees stand against the infinite sky... This world is very beautiful Lumina." The unspoken serenity of the daytime scene of our world held together as a backdrop for our entire spirits. There's something amazing about knowing what happens to us when we die; a transformation most wonderful, allowing us to become one with all and all that is one. Even though I won't be going directly to the A5E, with transperation and all, if it ever does happen anyway, I'll wait for her there.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKG1LsASOh
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"Lumina? Let's enjoy the rest of the night together, okay?"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJelTQDfwd
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"Okay."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4l6jME5o0
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"And also, even though things are dark, I want us both to know that I'm not throwing in the towel yet. Maybe all I can do is buy more time. Maybe all I can do is nothing at all. However, until that final bell chimes, I'm not going to succumb do death as easily. I'm going to keep fighting despite this futile state of Mecrosis."16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bSBlFaRgG
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"You never were one to give up... Okay. What should we do today?"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVvpbN01z8
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As promised, Lumina and I spent as much time as we could, under constant threat of another metabolic nosedive. Even if our ability to be together is stifled, as long as it is possible, I can keep walking; I can keep breathing, until my final breath fails.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYJf5ZMMew
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I'm glad I was able to write in this series, this project I've called Overlap. It gave me the chance as an author to lay out my own life's story for anyone else to see. Even though all of this is a true story, I doubt anyone would ever believe it. Even though this is so important to me, I doubt anyone will ever care. Despite all of this, I'm happy to have lived the life that I have. From now on, I'm going to spend time on what is most important to me, and I only hope that others in their tracks of life learn the same, as soon as possible, less they endure the same fate I am bound to before long.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelsvfccXQ6
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It's been an honor being who I am, and serving as Lumina's entire world, her ultimate soul mate. If I am somehow cured of this unknown ailment, I may return with another chapter or two.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsA3h8sg0RX
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Until then...16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJKTXLk1Cg
This is goodbye...
