Chapter Theme Music: Renge Kyo ~ Takkra (Reactivated)
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With my world around me shut out from my eyes and ears, my mind floats in the spacious fields beyond our physicality, a world parallel to our own. The voices of our neighbors sing to the astral souls above us, songs made of feelings and meanings. Even if I am only able to partially connect to their echoes of data, I can sense some of them today.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOH6bVm3mI
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These are not the happiest of echoes. Turmoil towards the Middle East, some of regret and some of anguish, some aimed at the past and some reflected from the future to come, with a winding pattern of double repetition, wielding as a numeric symbol; 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiUKtoWdrx
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I opened my eyes once more, disconnecting from the Psi-Field and trying to make sense of all I just felt. If I have this right, the number three is supposed to be significant to this Psi-Field, and because this Psi-Field is powerful today, the very same number should be significant somewhere in my day. More importantly, something bad is happening, has happened, or is going to happen soon somewhere in the Middle East... I wish I could have more precision with this information, but I'm afraid this is the best I can do for now.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPtZ3NlIo6
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Their emotions... I could feel every one of them, though not without the context to understand why. Which voices? It would be a combination of those currently living in that area, and those who are already ascended to the A4E plane, perhaps including those on the A5E plane. I never did stop my fascination with the AE data network, and through passive psionic practice, I was able to tap into this new unique power, the very thing which I surmise was similar to the psionic power Herios once had in order to research early psionics, the ability to connect to a significant Psi-Field.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQMj8Wuij2
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It was a laughably weak connection at best. Seems I need more practice...49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQK45ONkoAL
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"Hey Reed!"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgspjeDoVSl
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"Hey Lumina!" There's that familiar voice I've missed all day. It didn't take me but a moment to call Lumina while processing my other thoughts. "I'll have to keep it brief, since I'm only half an hour away from my shift."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPJzqMIUvK
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"That's okay. It's still nice to hear from you again." That sweet angelic voice melts my heart every time!49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCezMXh0fQU
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"I love you Lumina."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcP1gWXgdO
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"Hehe! I love you too Reed... Just checking up on me?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkei53vKZ3
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"Pretty much. A little bit of this and that."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmw8dEQ7z7
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"You always have something going on. Let me guess, another brainstorming project for a book?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8RbO5hIjy
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"No, this time I was trying that thing with the Psi-Field again."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhOxzHLI1v
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"Psi-Field?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdRtuKLn1F
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Why pretend not to know? Unless, "Wait, did I not tell you about this already?" It is possible. For the past year I've been hit with strong frequent memory bursts, which passively improves my own background memory. Though there are some days where the bursts are strangely quiet. I can't bring one up to be certain right now.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2pxlw6lKl
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"This is a first time for me."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmLWuccnnt
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"..." My work will be okay if I'm late this time. It is a shitty dead-end job nobody wants anyway, something I'm stuck with due to the headache situation, which is improving for now, but... "It's kind of recent. I don't know if I'd call it a new power, but it's also hard to explain."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5yAr846u3
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"I'm not too shocked. I figured you might learn another new ability."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pHhTQr9ze
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"Even though I lost my clairvoyance forever?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6Y28S1a0C
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"Funny thing about psionic abilities," Lumina reminded. "Even if some of them atrophy, there is nothing stopping you from learning new ones. Still, this is the first time I've heard the term Psi-Field. Sounds interesting."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzWDIdXQpt
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It is beyond interesting. The implications of this possibility extend far beyond what I thought was possible. If I can strengthen this ability, I can also get to a point where I can empirically prove it on paper. "It's something recent. Ever since I've powered up my medication again, it's like I can sense this passive background buzz, not all the time mind you. It's like I can just barely sense the weight of feelings coming from other people, not those beside me, but any random person on the other side of the world."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbp4xI0DSC
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"Is that not clairsentience?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhNON2nlzz
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"No," I sternly denied. "This is different. It isn't just from one specific individual, rather a group or collective. The information I get from the field is a bit chaotic, but it is more based in sequential pattern than anything else, like a certainty that suddenly applies to our world that didn't before? There's still too much I'm not sure about. What I am certain of, is that this field is generated by people, a field that is temporary, and a field which is at least partially psionic in nature."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOF3k2WeG5
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"And... You can connect to it?" Lumina didn't sound convinced, though I didn't blame her since she has never heard of this before. For all I know, I could just be high on the stims.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpR6NEe7Plv
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"Yeah. It's really hard to make a strong connection to it, but, this is definitely A4E territory Lumina. You know what that implies?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn23aEEwWvs
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"Not a clue."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVltBWSN7ld
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"It implies that the field could be generated from a living person or an astral formation, A3E and A4E at the same time. And while this is a bit of a stretch, it could even be coming from A5E souls. If that's really the case, it would break the rules of time. Even if it somehow didn't, it means it is possible to learn information from those in the afterlife from Psi-Fields alone." I broke the explanation down a bit further, reviewing that the only intelligence I experienced so far were the emotions and the thought-wave patterns behind them, such as the number three and unusual triangulation.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHumH2lMDrj
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"That's still crazy if it is true. You're talking about learning forbidden knowledge from those in the A5E, including possible knowledge that would have yet to occur."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMndhkou07E
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"That's what I'm saying. The consequences of that implication are quite severe, however, I don't have any proof of this yet."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGiIh0Ob2N
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"Can't you just reconnect and find out?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadXQVDdxrl
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"It's not that easy Lumina." Indeed, this is only my fourth connection to a Psi-Field, and it really is difficult to get it just right. A lot of times, I can't connect to the Psi-Field, either because my medication has me overstimulated, or because I'm too psionically weak to make the link, let alone detect the presence of the field. "These fields are very difficult for me to detect in the first place. I need more practice."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERfuKDWUCS
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"What exactly is a Psi-Field, in your words?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgKAzTpUVe
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"It's a collection of weighed thought patterns and emotions, from more than a single individual, given enough power to span outward into an A4E field invisible to most living people. For example, if a group of people in some part of the world are all grieving over some losses at the exact same time and over the exact same event, it follows a sequential numeric and non-numeric pattern, combines with those emotions, and generates a psionic field of data and information, which can then be read if someone can connect to it. Technically, a single person can generate a Psi-Field if their emotions on a matter are potent enough, but it would be a weak Psi-Field from only one person regardless. I have no idea what the range is on this yet."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1UCPfjlXC
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"You realize how useful that is, if you can get it to work and prove it is a real ability? This could be next level!"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZysdRhZu7c
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There's that excitement I knew she would share. I have to agree on this one. If this ability could be perfected, well, let's just say we might make a major leap in psionic science. Psi-Fields might also be wrapped inside of how the clairsentience ability works on its own, in terms of thought dynamics. All this time, we've been able to speak to the afterlife, but we've never been able to listen to their response. If I'm right about the A5E connection, this ability can change all of that! "Pretty neat huh? I certainly would like to practice this ability some more... But, I don't know when I'll get the time."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡry5LNvenXH
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"What do you mean? You need more Mondays?" She's referring to the fact that I'm still doing Sunday Resets to metabolically reset tolerance levels on my medicine, powering it up on particular Mondays and Tuesdays.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YJmEWAgFh
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"Kind of... To be more precise, I need my medicine to work better."
Chapter Theme Shift: Dear. Snow White ~ Goddess of Victory: Nikke [Red Ash] (OST)
"But, I thought you had found a way to make it work much better, after your change."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFJtOhwZkT
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"Hm..." It's really hard for me to talk about this subject, since I can't bear the thought of worrying her. Last September, something horrible happened to me, something without total explanation, something without any diagnosis. I couldn't determine if it was metabolic failure, digestion issues, mitochondrial disorder, or something of the sort. The point is, my medication, the same Excedrin junk I take daily to prevent headaches in the first place started to fail me. Eating any kind of food also created a very potent level of lethargy I've never had before. This wasn't a single instance, the issue only started that September, and gradually worsened over time.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQNd42ftIy
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We narrowed down some of the causation to my medication. So, last month, I did a 30 day detox on my own, creating what I can only call the worst experience of my entire life. I'd rather have ten level-ten headaches in a row then to ever deal with that again. It was as if my brain permanently shut off. The pain was brutal, but the inability to physically be motivated was even worse. I couldn't work. I couldn't eat properly. Nothing ever got done, and at the end, instead of feeling better, I was still in a broken state.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HvAkdaGKE
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The first time I tried detoxing like this, I only made it for seven days. This time, I made sure to carefully wean off on the first week, and dish out the remaining sentence. However, long after I was supposed to improve and recover, I just wasn't able to. I went back on the medication just before coming dangerously close to considering suicide, though there were some changes.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWwYK0xje7
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I didn't go back to the same variant of the medication I was on before. I started taking Vivarin, even splitting and micro-dosing to ensure I wasn't getting too much or too little. There are no painkillers in Vivarin. I know that people often say that caffeine is a rescue for headaches, but after what I've been through, I think my situation is a bit more complex. In addition to months of research before and after, I've learned a lot about my horrible situation.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgET59ucvNz
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About 12 years ago, I didn't need medically-assisted mental stimulation to do daily routine physical and mental tasks. Somewhere along the line of my war on headaches, I became addicted to this stimulation, not in the same sense a man is addicted to pills, but in a manner of which it is impossible to remove by ordinary means. Most people tell me it takes only 3 days to detox from caffeine. I can call bullshit on this day and night, but it turns out the reason might have to do with my ADD condition. Apparently those who are ADD or ADHD have very different reactions to stimulants such as caffeine, including differences to detox requirements. I know this because I directly spoke to some of those people. Only two of three managed to get off the stuff. One of the two who did apparently fell out of contact, and the other still struggles more than a year after. Both of them said it took 6 months.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXlWSshMXG
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I only survived one, barely. See the first issue? Apparently my brain cannot survive nor function without stimulation, and I'm not risking a six month withdraw like this, especially with everything else going on. I've concluded that it is not the caffeine my brain is wanting, rather the stimulation factor for which it provides. I've thus compiled a list of 15 alternative CNS to try, but it won't be easy to get my hands on them, since only psychiatrists can prescribe them.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLBT4LsRs8
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One would think I would not need such an upgrade if my switch has made things better again. Indeed, when I moved from Excedrin to Vivarin, (including Sunday Resets being kept), things dramatically improved. But I always worried that the improvement was just a temporary gesture. I don't exactly have an alternative to turn to if this new setup somehow fails, and now, my very physical life is dependent on something I never used to need, permanently so. Even Lumina realizes this and accepts the situation for what it is. After what I told her of my detox experience, she seems to understand how powerless I really am.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrW9SdESu6o
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However, about a week ago, for just a single day, I ended up reliving a horrible experience from last September, one of total and extreme lethargy, so bad that it negatively affected my Cora among many other things. This is an understatement in the making; I have a very bad feeling about where I am heading. "Indeed Lumina, things are much better now... But I can't get carried away. The dosing on this thing is much more precise than it was before. My body reacts to it a bit differently. I don't want to speak too soon, but I'm not entirely certain how long this solution will hold."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJO652Tywx
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"Oh..." I knew she would worry.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDiStAaSeU
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I tried to reassure her with a sincere sigh. "If the medicine fails this time, I really have no alternate to turn to. It may only be working so well now because of the recent detox acting as a potent reset. Then again, something is going on with my metabolism and food. I know, I thought I was done with that too, but I'll go get it checked out first thing."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxY2OfUTkY7
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"I just don't want you to be poisoning yourself."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44tlEGm4a0
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"It's caffeine Lumina, not poison. I think something outside of the medication is affecting both me and my ability to process the meds though. That's why I have to get checked out."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdzrXTbW5Z
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"So you're saying, don't worry?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdM2l7WyWF
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"That and more. If I have any more metabolic spikes, it's going to disrupt my ability to connect to Psi-Fields. I just wanted to tell you not to get your hopes up on that front. My health comes first."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RV1JiyNYP
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"I never thought it was implied otherwise."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKK7xsGWqH
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It wasn't, but I wanted to ensure we were on the same page. This one year alone has been full of too much instability. "I'm going to be fine Lumina."49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26EvjzVId1
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"Promise?"49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLkBFHBsdw
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I hate making promises on things I'm unsure of. Still, I refuse to have Lumina worry about me. I can't stand the thought of her suffering over something I cannot control. "I promise."
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