我們兩人再次靜了下來。看著球場上的燈光照射在球員上,只顧追著球的球員不停的跑來跑去,為的或許是要努力入球,又或者追著球跑只是一種慣性。270Please respect copyright.PENANAd4CECu55mc
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「有樣野想同你講,不過唔知點開口。果日你咪問我點解起旺角要避你地?」Joe忽然開口。270Please respect copyright.PENANAFBrPlNkC7c
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我沒有想到他還記住這件小事。270Please respect copyright.PENANAaJtKFnj3Nm
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「係啊。你話趕住翻屋企嘛。」我還記得他當天在巴士站的回答。270Please respect copyright.PENANAxBE31quXqN
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「我上次冇講到好detail,我覺得應該要講清楚啲。」Joe突然變得很認真。270Please respect copyright.PENANAJvUNmvTQLH
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我腦海一片空白,無法推測他想說的是什麼。270Please respect copyright.PENANAHBZzK00Xdl
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「其實,我之所以急急腳咁走,係我唔想你地聞到我成身煙味,我都好唔鐘意成身煙味。」270Please respect copyright.PENANAsgCoK1VguQ
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這個答案很合理,如果我知道自己無辜的沾上煙味,我也會想離開人群。270Please respect copyright.PENANA9sp7GFigrf
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「你一早知你個身有煙味?」我還是很好奇,一個討厭煙味的人,怎麼會讓自己渾身煙味。270Please respect copyright.PENANAELAgjmZpms
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「唔。」270Please respect copyright.PENANA40cAK0szRk
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Joe稍作停留後繼續說:「我啲朋友好鐘意食煙,一路掟飛鏢,一路食煙。搞到個場烏煙瘴氣,但係我從來都唔食。每一次同佢地玩完,都成身煙味,我好想即刻掉曬啲衫,即刻沖翻屋企沖涼。」270Please respect copyright.PENANAPulgr9A5sE
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我沒有想過Joe會去玩飛鏢,更沒有想過真相是這樣,不知該如何接話。我思考了兩秒鐘,Joe也靜了起來,沒有說什麼,或許他知道我需要點時間消化。270Please respect copyright.PENANAxpG6vhMoZB
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「咁佢地唔會叫埋你一齊食咩?」270Please respect copyright.PENANAyL0oLZWHIK
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「會啊,間中都會。但係,我真係一次都冇食過。」270Please respect copyright.PENANAQvPZ7xL2eX
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「佢地唔會話你咩?」270Please respect copyright.PENANAiKDOSNHy0F
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「會嫁,不過話完我都唔食。我真係好唔鐘意食煙。」270Please respect copyright.PENANARkFq97igQD
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「其實我地係上網識嘅,果陣覺得飛鏢好似幾好玩,就join左去試下。」Joe繼續說。270Please respect copyright.PENANAamX6BQq7GT
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「大家中學嘅時候,有一排好興食煙,好似係有錢嘅象征,同埋顯得自己大個仔。咁佢地屋企都有錢嘅,比起我啦。佢地一試就翻唔到轉頭。」270Please respect copyright.PENANAkLSfbhh6vp
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「一開始,我都有試過叫佢地唔好食煙,不過佢地總係好多原因,叫叫下我都放棄左呢個念頭。」270Please respect copyright.PENANAn5TzUtIYum
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Joe說完這個故事後沉默了良久。270Please respect copyright.PENANAq5sXfEpYDE
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可以想像在那個烏煙瘴氣的房間裡,立著一部飛鏢機,後面那些抽著煙的人總是肆無忌憚的抽著煙,等著自己的回合。270Please respect copyright.PENANADOmCY8Gdhd
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昏暗的燈光下,「插」,一個身穿黑色風衣青年剛剛投完飛鏢,他走到這群人當中。然後,其中一個抽煙的人,拿出煙盒,向著這個人打開煙盒,邀請他一同抽煙。他知道,只要拔出的一根,就有如潘多拉的盒子,一發不可收拾,他會從此成為他們當中的一員。270Please respect copyright.PENANAqsli2Dc1UO
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他討厭這樣。270Please respect copyright.PENANAxtxLYfalql
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我問:「咁你應該對住佢地都好矛盾?你唔食煙但係佢地成日食。」270Please respect copyright.PENANAFA9ooCXckk
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在一個都是煙民的地方生存,對於一個討厭食煙的人一個很難受吧。只要少少的煙味足以讓人頭暈、咳嗽、嗆到眼睛。270Please respect copyright.PENANAuwWnBcHfWL
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Joe抬頭看著天,然後說:「係,我都覺得好矛盾,我唔鐘意食煙,但係同啲食煙嘅人一齊。有時候我真係好想逃離呢個圈子,離開佢地。玩左四、五年,好似習慣左喇。」270Please respect copyright.PENANA9T96WwIqaS
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我想問他,如果不喜歡抽煙,為什麼還要留在這個圈子?270Please respect copyright.PENANAT1UrlYeThW
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我還沒有問,可是他好像猜到我在想什麼。270Please respect copyright.PENANAxR8ZOXfLVk
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「唔……自己一個都玩唔到鏢啦。講到底係我冇咁嘅勇氣離開,好多時現實就係咁。」Joe聳一聳肩膀。270Please respect copyright.PENANAFdp126IVwq
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「都係嘅,好難。」我只好這樣附和。270Please respect copyright.PENANAPvPP6umAlX
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Joe接著說:「我有時好羨慕Kenneth,可以好享受自己一個嘅時間,唔需要靠識朋友去維持生活,唔似我識埋啲豬朋狗友……」270Please respect copyright.PENANAMy68yfo2zE
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他淡淡的苦笑。270Please respect copyright.PENANAzX5JiLPWb7
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苦笑裡頭似乎隱藏著許多無奈的經歷,有說不清的苦。他喝了一口珍珠奶茶,或許奶茶的甜可以中和一下人生的苦。此刻,我只想安慰Joe,我坐的更靠近Joe,輕輕拍著他的肩膀。270Please respect copyright.PENANAdKz2im4cIv
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「唔好咁講啦,每個人都有自己生活嘅方式。你都可以嫁,唔想做咪唔好強逼自己。」我只好這樣安慰他,希望他會好過一點。270Please respect copyright.PENANAGbdlrlGrJi
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「唉,有啲野開始左,好難翻轉頭。」Joe慨歎著,感覺好像走上一條不歸路。270Please respect copyright.PENANA275R06wNkz
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「如果你係我,你會點做?」Joe直視我的雙眸。270Please respect copyright.PENANAlidnTfCeoN
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我想了幾秒,最後平淡的說:「唔……我都唔知啊,冇遇過咁樣嘅情況,可能本身冇乜朋友。」270Please respect copyright.PENANAP2P9NxTWaG
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Joe溫柔的說:「你可唔可以應承我,唔好同人講呢件事。」270Please respect copyright.PENANA7xiYJn5VVK
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「當然冇問題。」270Please respect copyright.PENANAsgsbY877XQ
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「多謝你。」270Please respect copyright.PENANAs6S0jVLIN5
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我同情他的遭遇,為著他一直忍受煙味而感到心痛,心情忽然有點沉重,知道真相意味著要為他背負更多。270Please respect copyright.PENANA4RSSALXHJW
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我抬頭看,這裡的天空好像特別大,卻找不到一顆星星。於是,我低下頭偷偷瞄著Joe的臉,看著他吸著珍珠奶茶的嘟起來的唇,和吸管裡一顆一顆滾動的珍珠。270Please respect copyright.PENANAzvKg7LSwbO
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我也拿起我的杯子,吸了一口奶綠,慢慢的咀嚼著珍珠。綠茶的輕微苦澀,好像是因為Joe可憐的故事而浮現。可是,伴隨著奶綠的香氣,我想:從今天起,我擁有了的秘密,屬於我們之間的秘密。這奶綠好像不是微甜。可能糖水都在杯底,所以甜在心裡。270Please respect copyright.PENANAhUg2hQp9cY