昨晚的「治療」後，我明白了很多。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbtln6xuDN
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早上起床，看了一眼星座。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5zzRk734k
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走到樓下，我看著車站月台掛著的時鐘──像與平時相差無幾，但當我看清楚後卻赫現發現我比平常早了一個小時出門，感覺就像魔法一樣。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3Gq435bwK
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWjq9fjSUX
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工作時感覺到身體的糜爛感，我想體力應該消耗太多，實際上手上的葡萄糖可能都是為了避免不支倒地的幻想處境題，午飯也只食到一半，進食於我而言有如吸食二手煙般──是無法避免的時間或者說工序。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnE0kBAcOg1
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但我想盡力地接受，為了不想令人擔心，也是為了做好自己──這大概是吸血鬼假裝人類的感覺吧？518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsJrRXLWGk
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTNytSR6P1
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEaXF1s7p7
到了下午毒癮發作，那種身心不安定的感覺我很清楚，畢竟我算是經驗者。那一直深藏於手機中的「心理盬水」再次響起，鑽入耳中，令我漸漸進入麻醉狀態。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gSAF9SFDW
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tygGYutnO
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dQjjqn09q
陡然於工作中，有同事的呼召，我從麻醉狀態中醒來，發現不知不覺間已脫離了不安的狀態──看來若沒有了心理鹽水，我想我就沒法生存下去吧？518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMZ3Sa4fbr
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超時一小時才下班，身心皆有種離魂感，像是快要死去一般，這是抑鬱嗎？518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIgUIyLomm
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePn9ilJI1t
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她離開我真的影響我那麼多嗎？518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8P6qVHKjm
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就連支持自己好好生活下去力量都沒有嗎？518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBOgQODCtn
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這是她的願望，她還有其他願望我也未和她實現，只是等待了幾天就這樣嗎？518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyDtsEYW9O
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqCRLOZv4Q
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8pK9DZtCr
心裡不斷提醒自己「撐住撐住」，但真的像是快要死一樣⋯⋯518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7u1izoX3o
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休息了一段時間，仍然很辛苦很難受，很想見她。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhd6jRS1JU
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5sgMNaUik
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqTRan8fRl
食慾不振地食了飯，之後做了身和心的鍛練──音樂與健身，感覺快樂了一點。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXe2xwe8KU
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用歌唱出心意，用力表達堅持。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAFk0x3Yug
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvfJH4goJz
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這或許是我唯一能做的事了。
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