Chapter Theme Music: Renge Kyo ~ Takkra (Reactivated)
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With my world around me shut out from my eyes and ears, my mind floats in the spacious fields beyond our physicality, a world parallel to our own. The voices of our neighbors sing to the astral souls above us, songs made of feelings and meanings. Even if I am only able to partially connect to their echoes of data, I can sense some of them today.81Please respect copyright.PENANAnRjYhk0J4I
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These are not the happiest of echoes. Turmoil towards the Middle East, some of regret and some of anguish, some aimed at the past and some reflected from the future to come, with a winding pattern of double repetition, wielding as a numeric symbol; 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3.81Please respect copyright.PENANAJbynaNpDoq
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I opened my eyes once more, disconnecting from the Psi-Field and trying to make sense of all I just felt. If I have this right, the number three is supposed to be significant to this Psi-Field, and because this Psi-Field is powerful today, the very same number should be significant somewhere in my day. More importantly, something bad is happening, has happened, or is going to happen soon somewhere in the Middle East... I wish I could have more precision with this information, but I'm afraid this is the best I can do for now.81Please respect copyright.PENANAvaEE5etj2Y
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Their emotions... I could feel every one of them, though not without the context to understand why. Which voices? It would be a combination of those currently living in that area, and those who are already ascended to the A4E plane, perhaps including those on the A5E plane. I never did stop my fascination with the AE data network, and through passive psionic practice, I was able to tap into this new unique power, the very thing which I surmise was similar to the psionic power Herios once had in order to research early psionics, the ability to connect to a significant Psi-Field.81Please respect copyright.PENANA4YiRAZAEXj
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It was a laughably weak connection at best. Seems I need more practice...81Please respect copyright.PENANASohTDvTXYN
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"Hey Reed!"81Please respect copyright.PENANAWLBQ0XIAcq
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"Hey Lumina!" There's that familiar voice I've missed all day. It didn't take me but a moment to call Lumina while processing my other thoughts. "I'll have to keep it brief, since I'm only half an hour away from my shift."81Please respect copyright.PENANAhKG4JWOhys
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"That's okay. It's still nice to hear from you again." That sweet angelic voice melts my heart every time!81Please respect copyright.PENANAoyc1VAVQba
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"I love you Lumina."81Please respect copyright.PENANAL9VmdyH1XM
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"Hehe! I love you too Reed... Just checking up on me?"81Please respect copyright.PENANASgvdQk21e8
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"Pretty much. A little bit of this and that."81Please respect copyright.PENANAuUjxBBYTFg
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"You always have something going on. Let me guess, another brainstorming project for a book?"81Please respect copyright.PENANAKFsTejKBg8
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"No, this time I was trying that thing with the Psi-Field again."81Please respect copyright.PENANAipdeBEEr9O
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"Psi-Field?"81Please respect copyright.PENANAUYIFYNbldI
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Why pretend not to know? Unless, "Wait, did I not tell you about this already?" It is possible. For the past year I've been hit with strong frequent memory bursts, which passively improves my own background memory. Though there are some days where the bursts are strangely quiet. I can't bring one up to be certain right now.81Please respect copyright.PENANAteMOhAIk6F
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"This is a first time for me."81Please respect copyright.PENANAfuAglz1KQq
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"..." My work will be okay if I'm late this time. It is a shitty dead-end job nobody wants anyway, something I'm stuck with due to the headache situation, which is improving for now, but... "It's kind of recent. I don't know if I'd call it a new power, but it's also hard to explain."81Please respect copyright.PENANAOmzV6BUaX3
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"I'm not too shocked. I figured you might learn another new ability."81Please respect copyright.PENANAXdXTDums0K
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"Even though I lost my clairvoyance forever?"81Please respect copyright.PENANAjRnWlYMhle
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"Funny thing about psionic abilities," Lumina reminded. "Even if some of them atrophy, there is nothing stopping you from learning new ones. Still, this is the first time I've heard the term Psi-Field. Sounds interesting."81Please respect copyright.PENANA2z1JBu8dW2
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It is beyond interesting. The implications of this possibility extend far beyond what I thought was possible. If I can strengthen this ability, I can also get to a point where I can empirically prove it on paper. "It's something recent. Ever since I've powered up my medication again, it's like I can sense this passive background buzz, not all the time mind you. It's like I can just barely sense the weight of feelings coming from other people, not those beside me, but any random person on the other side of the world."81Please respect copyright.PENANANByh95Wwxv
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"Is that not clairsentience?"81Please respect copyright.PENANAiDN37NzFU3
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"No," I sternly denied. "This is different. It isn't just from one specific individual, rather a group or collective. The information I get from the field is a bit chaotic, but it is more based in sequential pattern than anything else, like a certainty that suddenly applies to our world that didn't before? There's still too much I'm not sure about. What I am certain of, is that this field is generated by people, a field that is temporary, and a field which is at least partially psionic in nature."81Please respect copyright.PENANA132RREHweV
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"And... You can connect to it?" Lumina didn't sound convinced, though I didn't blame her since she has never heard of this before. For all I know, I could just be high on the stims.81Please respect copyright.PENANAiWGLlwIwv2
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"Yeah. It's really hard to make a strong connection to it, but, this is definitely A4E territory Lumina. You know what that implies?"81Please respect copyright.PENANAuraFZH0Xnr
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"Not a clue."81Please respect copyright.PENANAQGORXss7og
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"It implies that the field could be generated from a living person or an astral formation, A3E and A4E at the same time. And while this is a bit of a stretch, it could even be coming from A5E souls. If that's really the case, it would break the rules of time. Even if it somehow didn't, it means it is possible to learn information from those in the afterlife from Psi-Fields alone." I broke the explanation down a bit further, reviewing that the only intelligence I experienced so far were the emotions and the thought-wave patterns behind them, such as the number three and unusual triangulation.81Please respect copyright.PENANAjmflGRqAEy
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"That's still crazy if it is true. You're talking about learning forbidden knowledge from those in the A5E, including possible knowledge that would have yet to occur."81Please respect copyright.PENANA3laWinVk4s
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"That's what I'm saying. The consequences of that implication are quite severe, however, I don't have any proof of this yet."81Please respect copyright.PENANAweNxip0NWs
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"Can't you just reconnect and find out?"81Please respect copyright.PENANANDjS2BJiBf
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"It's not that easy Lumina." Indeed, this is only my fourth connection to a Psi-Field, and it really is difficult to get it just right. A lot of times, I can't connect to the Psi-Field, either because my medication has me overstimulated, or because I'm too psionically weak to make the link, let alone detect the presence of the field. "These fields are very difficult for me to detect in the first place. I need more practice."81Please respect copyright.PENANAw6zslaTNQi
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"What exactly is a Psi-Field, in your words?"81Please respect copyright.PENANAC3WpDYNUDm
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"It's a collection of weighed thought patterns and emotions, from more than a single individual, given enough power to span outward into an A4E field invisible to most living people. For example, if a group of people in some part of the world are all grieving over some losses at the exact same time and over the exact same event, it follows a sequential numeric and non-numeric pattern, combines with those emotions, and generates a psionic field of data and information, which can then be read if someone can connect to it. Technically, a single person can generate a Psi-Field if their emotions on a matter are potent enough, but it would be a weak Psi-Field from only one person regardless. I have no idea what the range is on this yet."81Please respect copyright.PENANARPl3rNiDQB
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"You realize how useful that is, if you can get it to work and prove it is a real ability? This could be next level!"81Please respect copyright.PENANArYZQemZB0d
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There's that excitement I knew she would share. I have to agree on this one. If this ability could be perfected, well, let's just say we might make a major leap in psionic science. Psi-Fields might also be wrapped inside of how the clairsentience ability works on its own, in terms of thought dynamics. All this time, we've been able to speak to the afterlife, but we've never been able to listen to their response. If I'm right about the A5E connection, this ability can change all of that! "Pretty neat huh? I certainly would like to practice this ability some more... But, I don't know when I'll get the time."81Please respect copyright.PENANANoa7XS3sIZ
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"What do you mean? You need more Mondays?" She's referring to the fact that I'm still doing Sunday Resets to metabolically reset tolerance levels on my medicine, powering it up on particular Mondays and Tuesdays.81Please respect copyright.PENANA3vB8nFG1Jf
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"Kind of... To be more precise, I need my medicine to work better."
Chapter Theme Shift: Dear. Snow White ~ Goddess of Victory: Nikke [Red Ash] (OST)
"But, I thought you had found a way to make it work much better, after your change."81Please respect copyright.PENANAnOg23yIS6g
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"Hm..." It's really hard for me to talk about this subject, since I can't bear the thought of worrying her. Last September, something horrible happened to me, something without total explanation, something without any diagnosis. I couldn't determine if it was metabolic failure, digestion issues, mitochondrial disorder, or something of the sort. The point is, my medication, the same Excedrin junk I take daily to prevent headaches in the first place started to fail me. Eating any kind of food also created a very potent level of lethargy I've never had before. This wasn't a single instance, the issue only started that September, and gradually worsened over time.81Please respect copyright.PENANAv4W4bELrHd
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We narrowed down some of the causation to my medication. So, last month, I did a 30 day detox on my own, creating what I can only call the worst experience of my entire life. I'd rather have ten level-ten headaches in a row then to ever deal with that again. It was as if my brain permanently shut off. The pain was brutal, but the inability to physically be motivated was even worse. I couldn't work. I couldn't eat properly. Nothing ever got done, and at the end, instead of feeling better, I was still in a broken state.81Please respect copyright.PENANAJTA2jpUBgm
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The first time I tried detoxing like this, I only made it for seven days. This time, I made sure to carefully wean off on the first week, and dish out the remaining sentence. However, long after I was supposed to improve and recover, I just wasn't able to. I went back on the medication just before coming dangerously close to considering suicide, though there were some changes.81Please respect copyright.PENANAgCT1tcwGoo
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I didn't go back to the same variant of the medication I was on before. I started taking Vivarin, even splitting and micro-dosing to ensure I wasn't getting too much or too little. There are no painkillers in Vivarin. I know that people often say that caffeine is a rescue for headaches, but after what I've been through, I think my situation is a bit more complex. In addition to months of research before and after, I've learned a lot about my horrible situation.81Please respect copyright.PENANAGZHhZAkcm0
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About 12 years ago, I didn't need medically-assisted mental stimulation to do daily routine physical and mental tasks. Somewhere along the line of my war on headaches, I became addicted to this stimulation, not in the same sense a man is addicted to pills, but in a manner of which it is impossible to remove by ordinary means. Most people tell me it takes only 3 days to detox from caffeine. I can call bullshit on this day and night, but it turns out the reason might have to do with my ADD condition. Apparently those who are ADD or ADHD have very different reactions to stimulants such as caffeine, including differences to detox requirements. I know this because I directly spoke to some of those people. Only two of three managed to get off the stuff. One of the two who did apparently fell out of contact, and the other still struggles more than a year after. Both of them said it took 6 months.81Please respect copyright.PENANANQIkCP72AH
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I only survived one, barely. See the first issue? Apparently my brain cannot survive nor function without stimulation, and I'm not risking a six month withdraw like this, especially with everything else going on. I've concluded that it is not the caffeine my brain is wanting, rather the stimulation factor for which it provides. I've thus compiled a list of 15 alternative CNS to try, but it won't be easy to get my hands on them, since only psychiatrists can prescribe them.81Please respect copyright.PENANA6gFpOUfXyw
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One would think I would not need such an upgrade if my switch has made things better again. Indeed, when I moved from Excedrin to Vivarin, (including Sunday Resets being kept), things dramatically improved. But I always worried that the improvement was just a temporary gesture. I don't exactly have an alternative to turn to if this new setup somehow fails, and now, my very physical life is dependent on something I never used to need, permanently so. Even Lumina realizes this and accepts the situation for what it is. After what I told her of my detox experience, she seems to understand how powerless I really am.81Please respect copyright.PENANAlsA3rykepf
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However, about a week ago, for just a single day, I ended up reliving a horrible experience from last September, one of total and extreme lethargy, so bad that it negatively affected my Cora among many other things. This is an understatement in the making; I have a very bad feeling about where I am heading. "Indeed Lumina, things are much better now... But I can't get carried away. The dosing on this thing is much more precise than it was before. My body reacts to it a bit differently. I don't want to speak too soon, but I'm not entirely certain how long this solution will hold."81Please respect copyright.PENANAguTJK0iX54
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"Oh..." I knew she would worry.81Please respect copyright.PENANAWEz2Lch3LW
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I tried to reassure her with a sincere sigh. "If the medicine fails this time, I really have no alternate to turn to. It may only be working so well now because of the recent detox acting as a potent reset. Then again, something is going on with my metabolism and food. I know, I thought I was done with that too, but I'll go get it checked out first thing."81Please respect copyright.PENANAPDvFxjp0Yh
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"I just don't want you to be poisoning yourself."81Please respect copyright.PENANArnjS0hYQdA
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"It's caffeine Lumina, not poison. I think something outside of the medication is affecting both me and my ability to process the meds though. That's why I have to get checked out."81Please respect copyright.PENANAsGkoa181iY
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"So you're saying, don't worry?"81Please respect copyright.PENANAtZmE40CJmH
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"That and more. If I have any more metabolic spikes, it's going to disrupt my ability to connect to Psi-Fields. I just wanted to tell you not to get your hopes up on that front. My health comes first."81Please respect copyright.PENANAlHHslBphCQ
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"I never thought it was implied otherwise."81Please respect copyright.PENANAQkGwBqLjub
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It wasn't, but I wanted to ensure we were on the same page. This one year alone has been full of too much instability. "I'm going to be fine Lumina."81Please respect copyright.PENANAxBNB31cQXV
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"Promise?"81Please respect copyright.PENANAge23UmPk4k
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I hate making promises on things I'm unsure of. Still, I refuse to have Lumina worry about me. I can't stand the thought of her suffering over something I cannot control. "I promise."
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