Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PDqOCNdVJ
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63mcozRGjI
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROeZlC2nt1
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSb09oXFb9
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIaSXDNHtg
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEw2H7K8Ge
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmjb2Itwy1
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNmr2LjkKK
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8LqTtuGtr
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkGTSiY7sq
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfAJPMnjj5
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNpFGIDM0A
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAr3ygofqQ
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IIVC4dGhz
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkneVkOQQ1p
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7jgWgT0Mc
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ADCBzzW6s
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTa0zRnv2iC
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsM3guBZ7Zx
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1W4l1Z3iY3
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJdcN2Qp79
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9O1VaiNQG
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWpdjYr4M1
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwY1HPiGi1
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIHfL24XTc
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBy7kGFhlPh
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3K5MVahUtp
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAwIVhDypi
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTYPzrobKP
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pUnzWTd9F
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ4uSbx6sK
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92DKvGSlJ0
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBBTCXaevE
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOOjHp7az8
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv01w48ivaH
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGJnXUolYb
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix5V6lIXav
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQV44INr2LY
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCi5I7I76L5
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvwIHOf47V
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQLXfpzdN8
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1VMXCiWy0
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CM3qw9ICO
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4etrbeKIGg
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TmYcAWXHc
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeAOhpKXjR
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniHkVqrp2G
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ925pByfUE0
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiuOvzbEND
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyd7dJTylMj
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJZlWBUnnS
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJqaYP4byG
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGWhrzpRzN
*•*•*•*928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCjOrE05HT
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwCAtJ9ruC
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DdSqsHBKF
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDH6TWJPrH
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeNUpqxWvJ
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccCPfTPibx
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQ0jHb5SGs
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTcYf5KksZ
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBz1WK8hQMC
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95Q9YYdBZY
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1F9wVRa7l
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzD4SOE8S79
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6Smns4Cy0
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PDkkk5h6g
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XZmePEPdK
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2rORxh0lu
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHQlrBrOrQ
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4MnMvBaxK
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡod10y7lyJi
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBXrjw7wWN
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndVu7tTG7P
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNNAChVoPx
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxyG9rbDDY
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywmT9UPMY0
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi29agNHnl
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnBRkvMOsV
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6Yc1I7EhD
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHgrlCeqxL
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsAE86HOrc
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oDAW5SKBJ
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2zOf7xcPr
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQpY8R4vpp
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vaNjDf9k2
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPmWlVfJ0e
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHNrBERHRr
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdCXHNWL3m
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKMGorULrw
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjEC9WZRdl
"It won't be painful—"928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWgjTvfJip
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLk9A35ENlu
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALSd9gZFnZ
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4UoMQvLey
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMn1pTklMN
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeZVgvXvOH
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTfdFcxApe
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbepykCtVaX
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JbZghmyI5
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nZdoqRNMX
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQXxXeq2c0
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHflS87Vi7
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSgogaUVYv
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7L5FMOZFC
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8jopYrUSp
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolBwCjdRfN
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoejTaacytn
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQZi2TN15q
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXD6s1phJhD
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7yLcD6AFG
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRleLXlqwws
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBUwJEKWD0
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroDa48hmCh
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3SGCTOlFU
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ90BqnxG7T
This is it.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruala8AxxP
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFaGLmprCF
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuPrCxOVYu
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgQPYhhp4n
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzXQmp6g4e
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oinveo4zK
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rrWfVrRej
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡii8y6OrhgF
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwzP5FhoQz
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIg5Cgiq9su
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOymW3Y443t
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iL1MfcDgF
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Fihc2syOj
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO05dHw8Ufp
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cvE1gwyKQ
I freeze.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJg9VaWNzf
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxQ3KqksjX
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyE5Xh7SbqB
Then I breathe.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7USKXGHfnp
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡephNd1K6Hq
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkS0nXIMhTr
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfI55ehQxQ
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpqbBeW1p3
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdiMwZZL1C
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyl2EjLpsyg
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpcGsSZOXr
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyp5B9gYZp
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBs2sZ4BgLj
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMXJp5Xkpi
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcYW5QlM9X
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmzzGqONud
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡButZt4K3kh
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJOX7J7i7M
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ240bvf6HVQ
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNL3zsJA0K
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYLsVj6WLh
Something isn't right.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZa1j9b9OAl
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQZSTnj6xQ
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQceF4LTVU
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0Qb9uwlVY
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv13Kn2K5Wl
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynsdO9Tbe5
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtqyOys3uZ
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmB93XeTJT
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5P99nx6irX
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVjxVGrPsm
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZopkb6H9xu
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbhfZ3aprq
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZMX1z3tID
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rOSFJPVX6
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2or86aIdx
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRTVGnPQ3N
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2UDXtHg80
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCGAFPshp1
His lips twitch. 928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLhjefPfDz
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbW9MZFoqg
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XhBHa3hKg
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnBMecUG2q
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqeAv0vXP4
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWri7BkZ9B
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNvY5WkSzR
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JMQdZMKQc
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWrseu1so6
"Okay so what do I have?"928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93XiY79HrY
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMDDR51H1h
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouSCXrx4sK
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZavfFMoWKQ
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjuQmLii3E
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhN9StHCZb8
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlxMtxw0uB
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7fUVOdYAV
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0kdNTZPAJ
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKE36urDHm
928Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3ELrsV647
