Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUm84ZUgCXr
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2timZdxLtj
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSd0XPzPmy
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hz7IrSwdD
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMG5vPQNzv
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC0GPCe8vU
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVv9f4BwY1
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsBI6mrs6G
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhevAQ6pfZB
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyEPoCavkj
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2RMmkYPEB
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB60VGhAw0G
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXXqKvjuME
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVuWsrl0fo
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgobYv7MWzZ
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmOFXu2k2F
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDm1EMv4iM
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswiUiMGCHc
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyuH2JZPvv
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ATtkqFKG4
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVkzlTnAs9
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr4sxG1qRZ
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyB9BLsUE9
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JPmtM1qbO
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2z8qKvJVXr
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBv03o02iO
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtBqzrUSzM
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmqansIPxI
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8eKa1cpGp
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7ASXt00Uj
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOE39FsT4Rk
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7M1IRnM2kQ
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCdIoPD386
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43aGWFf2WD
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wXu48njCV
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIfMJvKI4p
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gBnz4MRGA
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYbcpSQrLJ
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYZ1xd2Dum
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSBlyxlKjp
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkr01LTQorz
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLN7dfcykpA
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlRJ9Vcl0Y
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIeoNQFHcY
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGxfC5lfLM
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQCtSSmSpG
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18P7EpTWRR
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLPk1oSWr3
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZDhTp8OqN
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFZlKYDmKh
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGu116IKuK
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wG9SRwoVz
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNN5lCqsuU
*•*•*•*769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSDjq5F44Y
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNwjGNBqby
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiv2VZ7VIww
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNvqEg8gEN
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDUWK69JKd
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAY70nDrig
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIcvSVsLEL
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7C0AnRXHHU
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9bW4vBYXB
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtIpSG2A0B
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqh6HodSibw
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmPdoAzQqD
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQQk1cFX8G
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiZseneigc
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfeGcYfbgA
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCJv4gZtFz
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KgWlAPaCh
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHv4njMllPK
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkhIvG0MAV
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgXTGn0ySg
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFIsGXUtdL
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8ImLXr6H1
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJkU1m2Cx5
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SGvZul3aL
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEZzgt4dWQ
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKhm6EBIAd
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbCw25wSSa
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpaQbT4ZZP
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHO138FqXFg
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyR08Y2sED3
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLErxN6tAt
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJ8EWxlELD
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxiNSXoOHL
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOG9NvkQXn
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsACanLDYM
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyP19K3am2
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0SORpydrC
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2OMnd8jFq
"It won't be painful—"769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBPlOLxFaz
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rewERMkfz
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYDCcdCjh7
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcojNOGEE6
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNixxZj2O5O
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0bpOH3VVv
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmx4JEzdy60
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOHsCSATWg
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Xr1F5krqM
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlbFcBCImw
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttuO3QdHrT
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstonXGYWkK
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGaYYBksKX
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN63VZM12fA
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9jHdN8v6T
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgAf1UdByU
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftts71m4N9
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHypW8YcAX
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0LNLM2mwE
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSp0ghFMkI
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAcjxwkVsu
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAmgPSkfCA
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVf4E1oEysF
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADY32K5ebW
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEjUbx6V6P
This is it.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMbCPlOlTG
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0qhPkgYbx
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6JEkdkHVZ
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡin2td2jbnc
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsciLFitUa
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwAXzgY2uS
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dm4XC8a9L
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIh3hXN6K9
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUu6RR3JbW0
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiRcMfP0Jy
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytm33fzNn1
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjJueYPNIS
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71XN3r5c2D
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIsJWzVIgv
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQxRC17DdO
I freeze.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1pBoIdCOO
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiPSLj3j8c
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTXsjdlWeT
Then I breathe.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfuGPJURga
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YkVufSKPH
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡua6REVozTG
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAn6S0SLXpM
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4R3ComOmA
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MkSapoDVZ
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ113ku6tH0F
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9vAK4Tzed
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ELfgkBzT7
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOIAVL4imK
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQPMlFy3se
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZXVXGucPg
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0HNSJDjgm
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwm9NvuKjS
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJO5KT2rH3j
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUmsn0OnG5
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFPYNs57qJ
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6ycF3dVY9
Something isn't right.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp74nyDkarg
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0AnCvdd5e
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtOxJbMeIY
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFE3d7wOCtn
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnErb25QmDR
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AeA5LuxUl
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9S7fytrxTK
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBch5Jg6ZH
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuAgpKToHF
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ11XMAGwxF
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcMr1PCfFv
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjk1oKyVJT9
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGdsanyooi
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkonz1e5RHh
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavKJRZASaP
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7EK4r8Vwq
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPFbdAQwds
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxyEi8S9IY
His lips twitch. 769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyun1HlIAeo
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgbY8fKrmq
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKtPVGvL4Z
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyY5tZzog5w
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72lFqk9zjk
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQO5o80whGe
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPL5CRaffCy
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0CYw1lrag
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVNpEWNugv
"Okay so what do I have?"769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShBGaHZXT5
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KGMsj99VB
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGcAd69f6q
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9xKidr3aC
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWPhKxL6Lu
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVSLefOsYp
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5V1Vf79Q9Z
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9R4ak5vl0
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcv4OIJL4n
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaoMW74FdF
769Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDFMj90ue5
