Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobk4IGxDLu
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5tWgx3uHK
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOF8GPU72Y2
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKztLtffszM
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkZTTmYdy4
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ydUQpt1Mi
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡParD45qSiJ
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzj4vcD2rjQ
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuf83DuJfKV
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9QRLUOuJ0
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAwMzseHF4
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlfDsG7uOe
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHv0ZE5bI6w
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrguHU5I4KH
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCkCmpg18J
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFeZ8rHJKp
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbYUIV5TR4
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxR9XWAUbVd
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQBhUTw3Ob
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEA8TMKT9a
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaqWraZ8O9
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GOcpjyToz
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEJiWoSzfo
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9fe9vyKsO
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIP1c7H6k2
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuJz1iXcuY
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ergqMAYTW
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUESm78jyU
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEgAv8VEIz
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0328skRPJ
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLhssX93Lb
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYW5W7IWV1
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PVyHpHJek
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIsVl3vFD2
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38Hih4aiIp
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlm5EFwxRt7
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAwCG2vcm6
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq6RCUwTXK
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPTnhkfajN
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVADTcb5Se
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8JGh69tMu
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakLw2v0tTz
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2ZiFmJ6hD
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWnJ3ZYjGJ
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4N3Cqn5OH
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZx8AxAjXT
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEntqhm6bUQ
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwbmmKXpaP
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtEUeT8s52
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aJUfzPCht
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAg5BcQxD0
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡum7G9mWJbu
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVU5gbkRMs8
*•*•*•*844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguLf9VYwvl
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVlbiOBnRN
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXK82TN9HZ
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokxgzWd88S
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPsYafXcr7
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlirs4pxUiY
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzW8rAZmMU6
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTYgEJInv8
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8aB6oEXsg
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX7g1Rx3sd
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArmyumHgYw
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9DNT0U9es
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsWbTUzCkt
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7Sth3iIHc
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFDHehfcH0
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKGmJRdN1z
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEXAYI5Pao
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Lo4iXosIN
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWJAkHtuQk
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAuadDgg30
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dEfWg58IH
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUsgTGJ0sQ
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtV7Avto2hu
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNUH2ZVlfm
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIi8BCbUsHT
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yyaEqjV3Y
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3CQc8xJN9
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLGR503rRp
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQpmT2CgPj
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CReXP5RMl
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxsIixhZmm
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9E3St10aJC
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtZvfN6yL2
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOanocCgA6
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoeVjY7zhG
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGRVCw26AE
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C71Ud1R9D
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZVrHcmnZO
"It won't be painful—"844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIbS4Rrd8z
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCev7w8hrGS
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIqVXcx0JC
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TejgiL7TU
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0cjVAkxe0
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpPeiWyURb
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDD57eKH0B
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdUZ7IC5O0
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZfI7kmDJf
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSK0BkqGLjG
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7wUWkvP9h
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NjAGLrkV8
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUQN8fsp4D
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPqJ8qhZB0
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEOYLAQ5I0
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJ8ydRY2w3
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2XiJDmzoy
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDr5t9AOo7O
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLaPuJcNKo
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7BrPYom5F
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqXJYzKrwA
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH37IVFoRQi
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzU7S9EHCJW
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWCWXBEhgA
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjmMDyzmOW
This is it.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorhhdrwIy4
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMnlulLhKy
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOYRyiOZym
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRteKojMsB
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJdYdzIt3u
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyFxBHZGpG
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYBD5FFwVP
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NWl6nztmY
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PlWLmGTTZ
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjU3bZ235y
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGNUDqigfe
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv54ojBSStS
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe24VbxmWbR
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEHrABiyW8
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziig6WA6IY
I freeze.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJObveTmiC
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUf94TOPlGL
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOBQFq37QC
Then I breathe.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpK09nVkMm
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtA2lmsfXJ
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkDZsPlLqt
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6TZR60upT
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaomgHYXqkQ
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHcQVkXozS
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHYgz5usoW
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNIReb2Uh4
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoS8cmeNAl
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuxTQP8bdb
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tdlal84iL
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUsk9JwwRx
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKnBWT0Wib
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1lI6Ex1I7
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzKiiu9dgJ
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTi8U49LKN
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozBXINPTic
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRcsrSVbrE
Something isn't right.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnip0GlMdip
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiN3wJNn6Pm
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXIzfZk1fN
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU6XTL88qT
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSCgAbAFu4
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bxXhKF2Ci
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAHUOHmfDs
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdqfPoij8E
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hlbyA4Kvy
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC70Z3v0m1d
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrW5rq3MQQ6
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfe3CPBsip
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfHn13zdzH
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFDvPcHb69
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJx82kh125j
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lHxdjcISI
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrGl4x7QCi
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIpZDSNcuc
His lips twitch. 844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCW0ORVcTWz
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUTVOoRN7j
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCASMdR00UG
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11lZjLBNlq
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTrRN48Hoj
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWNurDX4BT
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQthwUbd1d
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oc7OVr1tp
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3Ul5pOLRh
"Okay so what do I have?"844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaeCRxIKHT
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlT20L6w0B
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrgiIJXhBt
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRQ078Rc31
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9fHdDmMsA
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5RXHapmy7
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GKeECtwxC
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgusxsj9rJ
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEy8C8mzmSb
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCGIsyR76h
844Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghtzPnGP6Y
