Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Txcnu3g6B
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSw89t7wt6c
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacD1zVrOxP
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGtfKHu4qo
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcOQRo2z7J
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxtc89plBS
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFsiioW14F
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡil6DO6hvlJ
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNa4CVSImN8
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpBcKyvcGe
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcpRiwsvF6
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0ntryycl4
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnviIOjQYe0
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0HYiARKqN
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXXWnu85Cv
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4bR0fu0PZ
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggBt1vZVeD
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRyp3MJjyn
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVBgVXTfnn
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6UByArQXL
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvfQFPXGk8
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6wUU5BJv7
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rW2oOPgaR
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbRyAiTTyV
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TxDSg2ihj
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zJWU3dmrG
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRsmUlmsZ4
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnSZdJMvvU
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0l2aS4BNrq
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnIuTtWX7m
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBVfCTx7Bx
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRKBhBlL8H
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tNcJmmCgM
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhOWRiUVtB
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuyhLoV6Wp
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9pIodyY3N
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcILlMGDgiK
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Yv05GYnzf
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNUdA1fPar
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeZWZ34zaX
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RAEzSK2xt
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgKQlmZQ18
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXduPe2JfY
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfQwiu8SUh
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJvti7fKU3
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgiWEvT9oj
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwuRmcLK8k
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAKVXPUaNq
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLFMlwN2sU
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFWqqpWC2x
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeefn6qPzCU
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Np56yPEbT
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZxxSEtwe6
*•*•*•*930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCUjXnxypU
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiW7lfOU0jk
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn0dMDV2MN
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu4rTQ4zlT
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINRJqffo71
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtTI6hdvpN
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZtxTpi9ch
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQwFeW5Qxq
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte1N9e7qr6
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss6XDzbZmP
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJ6vHqy04O
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FzAJ3mX5b
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczoLbbuUjX
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhUAkNLrhv
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIhQ5rncOw
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3zsrotwK0
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEG3W79l7U5
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgigg7xZP8
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsHsT8tQKr
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9olwZEzjZE
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6GqfW9FiO
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9jDJcL2Zs
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQsAbBptY2
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0r9Xdo1y8T
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLjHW1qK98
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV2YbQqTCu
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2va4Lballl
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdsiBUR5Rf
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7FzxEFqK4
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwnWZlfOYZ
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxbakyBFSH
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgrooohrrw
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbYpcCvIwJ
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcr3Rs287b
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyOXdcYwWb
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnDtI4yJar
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAP82krvsMW
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZy9RC09T5
"It won't be painful—"930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBLNikY2Fu
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLLkNRR1t7
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ua000AcyK
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTF3kw5hcX
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtVUNO3wqZ
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLcNmBCWou
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXA3hIBQZHO
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lwRBSK0Vb
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGjJuSxY3t
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCqQDWzDgm
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXDJzl6oeO
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKY11cyxo8
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdghJ1R1k2W
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzj7lVIHSp7
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRcGj1VHjm
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASoo9BxiwL
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eoKsWGW75
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCVWfgGdBH
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyIXPZRLij
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFDkzV6BBO
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynOEAi9Csw
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCppAbpw6BR
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQ301dfzlu
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpGaMxvsn3
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcMNevoUxL
This is it.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JxWuAgVjY
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFThf7M4BK
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0J8DPM00cT
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cB58Yr1Ie
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1tvBvkZM0
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEsNCDwwIU
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4ABulkXUV
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0dYYovCoa
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTtemoG3Dd
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4ohRUvqtL
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkr2ZQUIn52
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJlVPKvdUn
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9B6ea9gv72
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0Oj4BuODf
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwC0BZSvggd
I freeze.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7Wkie07p6
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9cCwIZc95
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgE9mg5nwY
Then I breathe.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHs0UT1l7W
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0Mu4vDAu6
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQlxS891Zr
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal8VSvzheN
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe569kjG4e3
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX5vzgQu1X
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl9Dh0UE9C
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuVuw450xt
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbrAPmER6g
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡub5yz7zfKv
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY24qnXNXv
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnsqQ58HLk
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3JPC8mdlT
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9kE74r7eW
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtVIWxngWY
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdRqFNZlqA
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9XnTfLwjN
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwaEqybyUP
Something isn't right.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0UnSQ4eGi
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8UaT5qYQT
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Px504VzBo
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeZe0x7Jgw
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmF9zd3ROo9
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIJrhJCH4U
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPBfiURBud
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYU1btyH5X
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXqr7pwoSZ
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRleUaiYHO
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6rndnjy0K
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qgOA6hWVI
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYLqzHCmdz
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZEVv8mSrh
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdSq7gjpfn
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZb8pL0kVeo
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldwkPGuFOq
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMK9rgwYKE
His lips twitch. 930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGit4g4RDVS
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkqxPbAfPg
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXCymhafEp
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXRuE2I7xN
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtg6Kbv41h
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrWIYRAQep
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKYAKQ6rLt
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLQAiJ5A6D
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJIR1aJwsv
"Okay so what do I have?"930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Fvb3Dkhk3
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORJUDhmsPG
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlEDWXScqY
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4USXzFVO6
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IHtzadJrB
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtbCNEEoD8
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xbJPhtYHX
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZ3RM5QET3
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoGvjUVeaP
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xaZBh8gHe
930Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLAZ98I7L5
