Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeC0LqEddqS
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RT5WZ0GTi
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjJERkmOgC
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEbZJsBl8h
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF13Gym9Rh1
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4gzV6xK4b
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScLDyNyF9f
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxn7QbIiZE
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowr3y2CnLh
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrK2sod5No
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pHtwSVc1o
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKW3dL9Er8S
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUW6sMYlTn
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPboi9j7M4O
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSMf7BeJdG
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgdvbxRc4z
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JckcUlDHk
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wDxiYxpPM
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7US0uVNTtp
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlkoOlbyc7
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaIh7EAZhW
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKpcMK5TQJ
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡva0JXF9RZG
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR26avVZIZO
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnU17zfFM0
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAtZd8aSDT
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfN5oOO4gQ
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1FHaJMTlJ
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIc3Y4Gs5v2
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqpWZERTEl
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNcIkrlN14
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgcmdWm2pJ
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnFRieGINQ
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcDCmTu8Dl
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XTDmmG3kU
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBovQzYp2U
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgQ8lXC7QZ
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrO9ULfWig
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kd06MokSy
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02kWu7QTRp
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZ4uuuntkA
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfv3kFYijw
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1DG7yfTGh
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThrnDhskrx
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgyVial3Tz
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJDq1ONXPm
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SCyWA3kF5
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4E3o4zUiTW
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSfp6s0BaI
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qhDTREmxe
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTS2nEnSGX
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHjVW1p4uH
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHNz707t7p
*•*•*•*845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3gXcH4Qz3
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW45meMIDmO
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjL1sYA9UvR
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCbupAJiGA
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0oxP3pQEh
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudePYhUbky
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NIoVwFv8J
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorv7emRmtk
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGl0jdYqXc
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvon5ylzXA
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5jVkoMS5g
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRi3hnlbBB
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTE3LCdSWdN
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdLcseg3GX
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7D3F24bBR
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyHCKVEtrL
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1ckqTzE5y
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa388mfTKRH
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsysxyshNG
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzvdj4mkmN
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9tT3EYLAC
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UzO4DsVjk
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr46qVjoGiT
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TceKXK9Bu
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVT0V8xH5Zx
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUnnytBY58
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC79BdyQujI
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ057fxo4BUx
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEEEYNd6nF
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnLUbr5ra5
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpPi54F56K
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAXyeswZUI
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QQk5eK9qP
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3uLVStpci
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3j36KpQAY
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqxxGxxDs4
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn05JNw3BZ8
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIsgX3kLlv
"It won't be painful—"845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjtzx9bBfM
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERC9jaRlTU
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BhHUed3U9
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTchRfDLRl
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbcdb5cxtJ
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wKEJI16ns
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4G7UlpX5L
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvLAZeuGW5
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmPm7DRtvB
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUFBIg0f1B
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7Dzx7siCu
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUe7pvkmJIE
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeEZtxeVhS
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcakKmzMjKB
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2Ku5Jrd4o
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5lPlP0jFu
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETvWw0KnhM
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf9rOmMII7
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWvk7P4Bbs
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5geWiYhIW
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE7gflKSVU
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3K9oYvpi5
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzbgKvSAPY
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpjgrotIJN
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVssYCtsvop
This is it.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAoY6rAoEM
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjPNwySewr
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpZGvKVe5l
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7RMgG6g8T
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITRy1Hkbbm
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCCKhZFrq0
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgq7nsNEA7
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiuweWQAlQ
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlC5diMXfwm
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkjbjq9du7
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YyWXDhrF2
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPBYjbDvPE
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqYAh0zciu
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHhpgENjgc
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJcdKrpjBo
I freeze.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTec2CRAvya
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXxdCYGQkN
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmm6WCtDFz
Then I breathe.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBn36Ixekpm
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKTMmLjDGG
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKlIotxc7p
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy6jyiJ6gG
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQAKCOeFCP
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8cElX7oRu
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7RG5wATvz
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnYXe45MwK
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU6BkS77Jz
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMK4SxwdYB
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LhACr8E6D
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N2undKiq7
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzHssYYi3K
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3RPLLVev9
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQB0wwsxuH0
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtNn0k1gF5
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxYIqlDijr
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenG8vWGfvG
Something isn't right.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRerf2D2Cj3
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkX1uzZj6X
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8O7LLIXJV
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWer9oJdKaq
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnkMdJ6Dzx
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ziDgaCrIa
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2KJEcu2z7
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfTRb5jY6n
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyR5TOdrCn
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAEjv66DEa
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu9TM1BZOe
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrm5aPtsIYq
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEW3oc36EO
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA8Z4LD6kD
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqI46GUErGE
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEZ5gktZvb
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XTPxCwbWa
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYjE5XlKv3
His lips twitch. 845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOV9D4ktdpV
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1XAnQ7ThQ
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnINjGHpfKQ
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO5FYCtw16
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AHw8ZMfIr
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXS2doqzHN
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLozFUpQ1SG
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG0t1la7mw
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qDYBYQfX9
"Okay so what do I have?"845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSlLAX0hl5
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kDvjqQRnk
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhJsJZA4kq
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwYAljWGGD
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vdoWYnC4Q
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKA7RQktRRH
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ur44T6Wsu
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFu43zv7hC
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmN1WkBynn
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGMl2WqKNp
845Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfYLeyN68G
