Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlttDnCqnf3
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa5Yl6eU5T
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeiStdafKW
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HnEBNA7fa
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Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK34CVeI1Al
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk78mtrDfxa
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6CixPd2c9
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5tqUVb1iM
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyG6cuJ1ax
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYnl7JXNO3
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOUmOKhitM
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1812HU8IP7
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsAjifZXHf
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwAIGgZ4O9
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkY3fY92RzY
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My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhGFtIwthv
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxYwUcPGs8
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcTJCZpibz
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmt6mDGDf0
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EAcSlCrJj
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeu9ExyPRSf
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBCPCpY5hb
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVPUJvpiSh
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjOOQRMMed
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnK5AheNnFE
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9D3K9qe4j
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJZhZuuxg7
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZXXR5vO7U
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG8NiAC1Zw
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzqeVUzxbL
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQhj5acM7A
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMZnuL2Rlj
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyGRmpnTP8
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK75HccNys8
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fbaL2yLtV
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQy1WE1ogLt
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXHWwX9lbZ
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4lYbBE2O2
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvhZOjU0GR
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofwJY2Kvyr
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKWDJzALmB
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"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GLT4zlyqT
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlpvhamMyR
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHuCXBayHC
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskRDhuYunA
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3A7y8u71x
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMYW6Au9o3
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahAS8BwcaX
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC70tjjIPBS
*•*•*•*767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOBQ4GxwCe
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiydGPjBC8
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVba5SgApo0
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKk1GjUNEj
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pqapSFFte
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhD4Yj7h7i
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuvD40laV9
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3q4JTxJEwY
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHYOlqlyDp
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkZSgMF9sV
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpBlblh0Lz
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSfOHfqA9e
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmbIIwci8q
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOtRIcrbfz
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CRRL15eIF
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH6VwaszgD
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCCuZ3Y4mU
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6QCEduCJy
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuObYdFnfV
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8cWGDFKly
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqpFBzRLJC
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcUFm4v7nb
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7GGXR9zrq
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kcssrSdj8
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCM8xyWXLF
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivp0R4sdhe
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6QtcM1PmY
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsPfxJWBf0
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXRGSW9aXM
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8A9cxdEe2E
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsUs0nynIx
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Z8Rv8oJUI
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwP3uLf39dX
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveI359Vh5b
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY775aDQxNA
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbv1H0gCRm
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPEJRsrGNG
"It won't be painful—"767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFCXU9hQEl
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTDtwKuuE0
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWCw7Czkik
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYD0M0VQpnK
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiCLbftEGE
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWdceNpbp3
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJ3osBrVSI
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsj5t2iK0n
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe27mLA6mAt
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1S5E0J8Prl
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XZn8Ccn2R
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxhriMWIaf
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LZR3J6ZWo
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxEu9kXYPy
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRB0rVO2uP
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1cxezCgPj
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RpdKJh3MQ
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNq4et1P1F
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywmo36Dd62
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hpsWEywKS
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhkAUlIAP5
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoR8QKYimYp
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZ7EkPuLZO
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGMmTCxkvO
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This is it.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjY7zJpv31r
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuvKhXLAeh
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmbwHHlS5e
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwqFp7VHpd
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzR4OQB82O
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmz0e8HJjLd
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyomnO7S1NR
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fyTIb1r1h
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFOv9uZKEc
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0gbGCVUC7
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4DSUdYvtE
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7khIPg4vFK
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Si0kYCB7
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtZjXxuF2e
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc41EVTaaSv
I freeze.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHqPvfjsmu
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmQ44ksFGw
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzCvsgROzW
Then I breathe.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscOZf6sRTt
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraQ4OsmeFl
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QLYEDdIsg
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHBiFxg4Mk
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpBGwsYyYS
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lG2NJypeF
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtrsWQrhTj
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkEQNphk1n
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv6Sxn4R36
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSDliOT5Bs
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4WdvpGPwA
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFq21euUFZ
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJEwh39R3u
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5cbHS7jRm
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3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkq5yFTmTAr
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJcZXYYsQG
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5AWMxl4bw
Something isn't right.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OELTBcDCu
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJmrRiwsUi
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztOBC0SjIk
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAfPnjeicG
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsooPnYRyJg
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuns4jZQsxq
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIewVKsvg3z
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlN2dhGnmM
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6anUB1lSef
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDqns6AY7f
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHYJDt7LoA
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgdQLZwjzy
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNn5fiMfD0
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCXOPBqPTj
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7BVZvq6RC
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWlEFHVEp9
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4O5I9U2JZj
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGG3JuWBvA
His lips twitch. 767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7AZtMg4rz
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSWmkQNfis
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN54tX3YaO2
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdK3v1M1VJ
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgmOwVADMq
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujYrIYCI1y
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8Xaqbx2iL
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXW22kShaB
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cT7JoY2YG
"Okay so what do I have?"767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1npoIc1Zh
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7mRZjjQVc
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiuXecJTDk
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwDE3IqgY2
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlD8WOQ9sbL
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CP6R95ScY
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXrXdmY53L
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hjrm9cTdP
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzeryrjnFT
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadFcASerYS
767Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgSzjSAv3S
