從雄英畢業後，上鳴和響香搬進了一間二層的小公寓。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7Dt7mNwYJ
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電電想象中醬樣釀樣美好的同居生活從第一天就開始破裂……403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhakQ0arvFI
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花了一上午的時間將東西搬進屋後，上鳴單手叉腰站在客廳里，仰天長笑三聲，胸中蕩起和響香（嗶——）的豪情壯志。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaCvXtciKJ
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正想著，他才發現意淫對象不知道去哪了，上鳴凝神靜氣，辨認出聲音傳出來的方向後抬腳就往二樓的主臥跑去。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCvBdMjxi5
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上鳴歡快地推開門，眼前白花花一片，恍惚閃過耳郎抱著胸一臉嬌羞的模樣。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eSaHKr2wx
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“響香醬～我們去……嗷！！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZteYcvR8d
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話沒說完，眼楮傳來劇痛，這熟悉的感覺，不用看就知道是耳郎的耳機插頭。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGUtnuNId9
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電電被戳瞎日常（1/1）403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Fwm76M2fE
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兩人在客廳收拾東西，上鳴欲言又止地看了耳郎數眼，猶猶豫豫地開口︰“耳郎……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5D2HKHXJbf
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耳郎面無表情打斷他的話︰“閉嘴。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIBgWHv1MW
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上鳴急了︰“我不是故意的。”誰知道你在里面換衣服！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQDc2DfqDb
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他改為低聲嘟囔︰“再說了，我什麼都沒看見還被戳瞎，好虧啊……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDvtVpsyy5
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耳郎臉一黑︰“……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtI0kO3DaN
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耳機插頭默默伸長。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLl39rwLE2
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“哇啊啊啊啊！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf5xTiDT9d
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電電，卒。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhRd3EFKIY
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終于將大包小箱的東西倒騰完，耳郎起身伸了個懶腰，晃晃悠悠回到主臥。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPAlkjBqC0
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“？？？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTYzi5ptvx
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耳郎才踏進門一步就退了出來，揉揉眼，淡定的表情龜裂了。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDMMdG3HiC
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“上鳴！！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLB7rgb3Z12
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上鳴屁顛屁顛跑過來︰“來了來了。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEqWkauqxD
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耳郎指著房間里頭︰“為什麼我房間里會有你的東西？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9dWGMvdn0
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上鳴理直氣壯︰“我們的房間當然有我的東西。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZAsZmilCH
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“我們？！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrR8Dt8X1NB
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小姐姐震驚了。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbokGvyV50
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“響香醬不想和我一個房間嗎？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bIXhxotyy
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上鳴一臉天崩地裂，背靠著牆緩緩下滑，四周仿佛響起了悲涼的BGM，淒淒慘慘戚戚。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ESEOxXga8
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耳郎冷酷地吐槽︰“……你旁邊有一盆仙人掌。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhCbc8JZkU
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“……”上鳴虎軀一震，默默站直。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1MPwMUL26
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不在一個房間就不在，他上鳴男子漢大丈夫，不能光明正大，他他他他還不會半夜爬床嘛，哼！^403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2nALzyhd7
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來日方長。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKYWaSyoiS
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他們還有很長很長的時間。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctpIVos9CP
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整理完東西就該打掃衛生啦 。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXi3Wcc2zDH
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浴室里，耳郎看著上鳴認認真真地往架子上擺小黃鴨，不由地扯扯嘴角︰“上鳴你今年幾歲了？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0dpHsnZ4L
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“18歲，正是如狼似虎如饑似渴的年紀，”上鳴幽怨地轉頭看她，“女朋友卻不讓我和她一起睡。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWzFXnoVk3
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耳郎︰“……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsMXuKlY9g
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摔！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJcJxnBkwL
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能不能讓人好好吐槽了！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxanh9Ba84
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上鳴你這個泡澡放小黃鴨的幼稚鬼！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRUu2HXRd6
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一大早的，耳郎就起床了，今天是她和上鳴去事務所報道的第一天，可不能遲到。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIr41oHHooi
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洗漱完，耳郎敲敲對面房間的門。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZqS91RGKC
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“……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4RIUASPFc
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沒反應……廢話，要有反應上鳴昨天晚上也不會千叮萬囑拜托她一定一定要叫他起床了。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ442u2pfbz0
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe06MCu7bPp
上鳴房間是不鎖門的，耳郎一進門就看到某人四仰八叉躺在地上呼呼大睡，被子在一邊可憐兮兮地絞成一條。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndun9GOiEH
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“……”迷之微笑。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGRoy8gNWh
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“ 擦。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlI6xgxQLzk
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該干正事了，耳郎收好手機，心情很好地拍拍上鳴的臉︰“喂，起床了。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7NJu3wxfs
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上鳴一動不動恍若昏迷。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvofAq2So67
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耳郎毫不猶豫抬手就給賞他一個爆栗，上鳴“嗷”了一聲，委屈巴巴地皺著臉滾到另一邊接著睡。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsTTMHJdwa
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也是非常頑強了……403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgiNWu7X9Q
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“嘖。”耐心耗盡，耳郎翻了個白眼，起身往外走，耳機插頭同時向後延伸。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQv16Zoogvs
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“哇啊啊啊！！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAd8HBE6En
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電電垂死夢中驚坐起，白痴臉懵逼。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamK2qMCRBx
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我是誰？我在哪？我要干什麼來著？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCiwNzr1t7
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隨著兩人職業生涯的開始，粉絲數量也隨著時間水漲船高。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnioKemAY8J
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知道耳郎最近又成功端掉一個敵窩，上鳴心情愉悅地刷著網上對小姐姐一面倒的贊揚，滿心滿眼都是驕傲。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIRtEooSFK
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哈哈哈哈我媳婦就是這麼厲害哈哈哈哈羨慕吧嫉妒吧哈哈哈你們沒有哈哈！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesNjxPYBSX
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然後冷不丁看到這麼一條。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tw9KlSZxm
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“嚶嚶嚶小姐姐好帥，想嫁！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1d70TmfsbD
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是妹子，上鳴手頓了頓，接著刷。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeleul8MBuX
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————“帥哭我了，小姐姐網戀嗎？百合嗎？選我嗎？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Di5ltHyPl
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不網戀！不百合！不選你！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEcxGhU3Yv
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————“都讓讓都讓讓，單方面宣布順風耳英雄是我老公了。[狗頭]”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HwzAN7eyK
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滾蛋！那是我老婆！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12c1rwVByw
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————“電擊英雄我和你打一架你把小姐姐讓給我吧。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEb8K1XMUC
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想！都！別！想！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hTWJ7bNhf
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上鳴自虐似的刷了一下午，黑沉著臉氣到內傷。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EsV3RYDrx
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這年頭，連女孩子都要和他搶媳婦了嗎？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfgGzICFIw
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嗯？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0842nqF1fe
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07403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4vsoAncS4
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平凡安逸的下午，耳郎枕著上鳴的腿躺在沙發玩手機，半晌，抬手扯過上鳴的臉，手機也放到他眼前。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGa6s9KC1Z
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“這個‘小姐姐的皮卡丘’是不是你？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoiiDEST18
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上鳴果斷否認︰“不是！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkV9Uv0vun
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耳郎繼續扯他的臉，似笑非笑︰“能耐了呢，披馬甲和我的粉絲撕逼，幾十個人懟不過你一個，嗯？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SubUXU9kk
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上鳴垂死掙扎︰“不是電電，電電沒有……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMdGS03aZH
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“電電，”響香的語氣異常溫柔，“搓衣板榴蓮鍵盤你選一個吧。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyBTdPNJLw
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我一個都不想選！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhNyucFGRe
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嚶嚶嚶，電電心里苦……403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbCurXA46o
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08403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡya0BQhopk9
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這是個夜黑風高的晚上，小公寓里。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGG7ksLIh7
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耳郎冷著臉︰“過來。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6TRN0SGhU
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“不，我不要！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJstM13nF3
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“快點。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnB2tIRawn
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上鳴簡直要哭︰“不要，我不行了……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7TZgO0NA9
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“少廢話。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoiIpk32DS
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“都第幾次了，你要榨干我嗎……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpNAifnEZx
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看著一臉生無可戀的上鳴，耳郎嘆了口氣︰“不想吃飯了？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlw0yfB9mK
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“想……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq2Z75D4Ca
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上鳴抽抽鼻子，抓著各種電器插頭，哭唧唧發電。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMMPG3M1oj
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最討厭停電了！！！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCD7XZBPkQ6
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明天就去投訴物業！！！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OsrpxDF1A
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作者有話要說︰ 電電臉上哭唧唧，心里笑嘻嘻。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iY9dtmRXD
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☆、寵403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVDHBAvcOj
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晨光熹微，屋里頭，上鳴動了動手指，緩緩睜開眼。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfvhKHfPt9
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七點。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWQDU1b3xQ
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上鳴放下鬧鐘，“哈”的一聲坐起，經過小姐姐幾個月的魔鬼叫人起床法，他終于能在七點自然醒了，等會就去和小姐姐求親親摸摸抱抱。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBHoYzP6GU
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接下來，就是每天起床第一句，先給自己打個氣︰403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMiwyjNiXg
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“我今天一定能爬床成功！不懈進取，永無止境！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKw86hyhk4
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFApUG82FEa
上鳴比了個“耶”，今天也是元氣滿滿的好少年。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdUXQqOJYR
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“是嗎？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHzbQOFpYv
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一道涼涼的聲音傳入耳朵。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGacurFQ67
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3WvTtnLht
上鳴虎軀一震，僵硬著脖子轉過頭︰“小姐姐早上好啊……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEoiUQ4cil
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jN2o6FRWU
房門不知道什麼時候開的，耳郎背倚著門，雙手環抱，裙子及膝，明明是一身柔軟休閑的家居服卻偏偏穿出了酷帥的氣場。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5ndm0LQK1
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上鳴痴漢臉︰“……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZI1ICLs8B
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媽噠我媳婦真好看！403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzcUkCw68H
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wLGtYbz85
當即蹦下床，張開雙臂朝耳郎撲去，結果落地時腳一滑，呆滯著白痴臉從耳郎身邊迅速滑過，“砰”地撞上對面的牆。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR99Y4rQks8
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鎭？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMymLJKYkTu
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耳郎扶額︰“……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxrFkfdzkz
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真是沒眼看了。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTzn3SCeat
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這麼蠢會不會影響後代的智商啊？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAg0CqIg6lu
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02403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdOC9LZ8CJ
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吃完早餐，耳郎收好碗筷，才放好，上鳴就把她從廚房趕了出去，生怕她和他搶活干似的。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiAUhv3aZv
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZABdpelznE
耳郎撇撇嘴，去沙發躺著。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGR1ipk62QM
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTmsN07xqy
上鳴洗完碗就開始不怎麼熟練地使用吸塵器打掃屋子。不過相比于之前的手忙腳亂的樣子，現在已經好很多了。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxzomsgqNf
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xsgfe3yC3
電視開得大聲，耳郎卻看著忙忙碌碌的上鳴。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03Qu1ZM4JU
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZKLanA8kW
自打同居第二天開始，她干過的家務簡直屈指可數，還是趁上鳴外出出任務才有機會做。其余日子都是上鳴明明都不會卻要死要活不讓她踫，自個累死累活從生疏到熟練地做完家務。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VVBFRHjZp
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpooabZX1rH
完全顛覆上鳴媽媽口中那個“就知道吃喝玩樂房間亂得像狗窩從來不干活的三級殘廢兒子”形象。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXc1wQPovKW
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9lz9pArhd
“吶，上鳴，”耳郎喊他，“我來吧，你都沒我弄得干淨。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EN4sWoABm
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFZmUuLe7X
上鳴完全無視她，自顧自打掃。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStEIXs4O2z
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“喂！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvqRfVFFNm
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上鳴頭都沒抬︰“邊去，不想看電視就听歌。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqvyhVtVgX
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下午的時候，門鈴大作，一打開門，A班的小伙伴們嘩啦啦一下沖進來。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHV6REkTn6S
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNEZykFdqc
“我們是路過的，听說你們在這就過來了。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1MB9GenmO
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“你們竟然真的同居了，進度真快啊。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFha4YcSsxh
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“不用忙活了我們自己帶了東西。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPoL5EUvZo
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……403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoeCBTY0fp
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這群家伙在客廳盤腿坐下，熟練地擺好各種吃食，速度之快讓兩人目瞪口呆。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1prQjgZtjw
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdd7Ae1m0h
回過神來這群人已經啃了一堆骨頭並熱情洋溢地招呼他們過去一起聊天一起玩。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmATpISXQi
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上耳︰“……”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0X5lasEuI2
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這幫家伙真不客氣。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIwrhSUiEx
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IGiEBAmvi
鬧了一下午，吃飽喝足的家伙一個個大爺似的在沙發上躺尸聊天，地上全是各種垃圾。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hiY3fpiwl
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgRA8urIRx
見狀，耳郎起身，晃晃悠悠拿著掃把準備掃地。上鳴一看就急了，一個鯉魚打挺起身沖上前就奪過掃把，粗聲粗氣道︰“我來。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyEqvbHNWp
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拗不過他，耳郎只好蹲下身幫忙收大件的垃圾。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao8wxFqOSI
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxvA194Aiw
誰料上鳴更加不樂意︰“都說了我來，油膩膩的你不要動……誒誒鎭！放下那個玻璃片，會劃手的知不知道！”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiHQ7zZxcO
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRxRRef0Y6
耳郎無可奈何去廚房洗手，感覺上鳴這是想養廢她emmm……403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9r3sfFyY6B
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQ336TgOOv
目睹全程的小伙伴們已經收回了掉在地上的下巴。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsOi0OYJvT
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgXFhFudss
葡萄道︰“上鳴，該不會平時都是你做家務吧？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmfX9jWYKP
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYS2LUnH5uG
“怎樣？”上鳴把垃圾掃成一堆。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9NE0FuM2r
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“……”好像也不怎樣哦。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDc63LHD3ch
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“但是做家務的一般是女生吧，”尾白看看廚房，“耳郎又沒有強迫你。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvvMoEZQLf
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葉隱“哼”了聲︰“你們不就是覺得男生做家務很沒有男子氣概，覺得這是女生應該做的事。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRk8EHuMFIC
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”就是就是，憑什麼女孩子就一定得做家務，男生做家務怎麼了？”蘆戶接著道。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkS69Z65xO6
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WivyXiA05
眼看一場辯論賽就要開場，上鳴邊鏟垃圾邊淡淡道︰“我樂意。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1VX0PpmeW
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眾︰“……？”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUQ78JKW8A
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上鳴風輕雲淡道︰“我說，我做家務是因為我心疼她。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRacY1wAkyC
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“我家小姐姐的手可不是用來做家務的。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuxkIxQZTJ
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcz0XMHwdN
“我樂意寵她。”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTEoSpXLtZ
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你們管得著嗎？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWyJEC9ukT
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哼。
眾人：＂༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ＂
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