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秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSBgKfTNbo
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiCbVDCZOC
「完好？」現在的她問。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzs6DOI0VMf
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8q36oOFmZ
「無缺？」曾經的他問。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2tzOMS8jk
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfPtFWUy4l
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVIgbuzHRB
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxRWuFhPrF
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwNwaZEWB0
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSSidSfLaW
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6yx05StEz
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjRJdibvjN
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWrRbeJcYZ
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgG9AZ45VE
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStJqGV4Jwo
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvnWfP3bDn
「醫生，早晨。」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9n9FL6ZFr
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoPraSE5VW
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4SRgIqe6h
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYL2BznGaB
「好……不過……」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HPciSVBgF
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVVI8rlkCQ
「不過甚麼？」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoCjA6oGRP
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbA2hKRx089
「我想再做手術。」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHceDLhQk0r
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIs6P5Ik9L
「為甚麼？」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcBPgbPUgR
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCF5kjupgYm
「不適應現在的生活。」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvr1nq2qO9
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmSSi9h9YM
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3ZqVWYkQM
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxN4tVrjDA
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8ViJ8h4kA
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvw54UJPhD
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsoLcBJnTJ
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDlRpLWEhl
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBisduSaBMp
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXzn93Fj1y
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFhNfMo9Vf
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2UDOL0phJ
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsqfTFAdR9
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CINaewuPB
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0iaXEQxuC
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXdyGBiGE4
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFP8ykSlB8T
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcW4Q3rlcQe
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJfzMqaxFu
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalRPK5RwLV
「謝謝你。」217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvKl8YpulO
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfCz00hewD
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeZFV7vvIZ
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRkxwmgrBp
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXck1wIXrN5
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWSanDtJsO
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLL4P6oYWqM
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qxBGm8u7l
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvImsQpbzi
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGcTtCcFHs
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWESa6uDEa
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡle7qHGIhqt
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweay6S2Dpp
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLABoCgmffD
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2OAgPKZaH
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GtudEWtzm
那個原因名為「希望」。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoJmiippub
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbHbHBJPg3
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqIP8bqzYN
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGnCjI35FG
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupHcpe1bsw
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhq4593AFX
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSbPN1yqlR
217Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTf53nRuXD
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.85da2
