
hewo~! okay, anyways. idk what i'm doing but have fun reading, i guess.
1. recall your most embarrassing memory507Please respect copyright.PENANANC7Xz6aov9
okay. welp, this is going to be weird to write about. okay, so, i was in 5th grade and i had the audacity to sign up for the talent show. so, i signed up and i went to rehearsal, right? i cried in front everyone at rehearsal. then the next night, we had a night where all the kids in the talent show performed in front everyone's parents. what did i do? i cried. again. then the next day, we peformed again but it was in front of the entire school, including my crush. mind you, i was wearing this ugly dress and i thought i was cute. then we were back in that era where we thought the orange justice dance was the shit. so, muy friend was shy and she was dancing so i went out onto the stage with her and danced sicne for some reason, i knew the entire dance to the entire song..? then my turn came and i had to put the ugly dress on, i went on stage and started to sing rise up by andra day and what did i do, once again? i fucking cried. yep. in front of my crush and everything. life sucks, mate.
2. think about the last time that you laughed until you cried. 507Please respect copyright.PENANAMUEUSN6fON
that had to be like yesterday. i think i laughed at something bunny said and then started crying because it was so funny. maybe it wasn't yesterday but it was damn near last week or something. eh, idgaf.
3. write a story about what would happen if your day went in reverse. hint: the story would begin when you were in your pajamas and ready for bed.507Please respect copyright.PENANAgJPMGe8IjZ
*acting like a vlogger on youtube from 2016* hi, guys. so, i'm in bed right now. i can't get back up for a few more hours because of my schedule. *a few hours earlier..?* okay, hi. i'm in the bathroom right now taking my clothes off and using the shower. *after shower* i'm putting my clothes back on now. hold on, ms. shi! i'm getting undressed. --- omfg, i can't do this. it's too weird.
5. what was the best joke that you heard during the last week? what made that joke so funny to you?507Please respect copyright.PENANADXHMuypXJU
the funniest joke to me in the past week was said on saturday when we were at barnes & noble. lovely, bunny and i were sitting in the little kids section, reading when out of no where lovely said, 'are you eleven protons because you're sodium fine.' and i stared at her. then i realized what she said and i started cackling.
6. make a list of your favorite puns.507Please respect copyright.PENANAG4DbJw9Bp2
i might seem lame right now but i don't pay attention to puns...
7. write a movie review about the funniest movie that you have ever seen.507Please respect copyright.PENANAi7UYvDjUL2
*acting like a famous journalist* hello, my name is alex ugliana. today i am going to write a movie review about the movie- i give up. i'm not good at explaining things without spoiling it.
8. pretend that you are going to be performing a stand-up comedy act for your friends and family members. write a draft of what your act might sound like.507Please respect copyright.PENANA2FLw3aH4fq
hehe, okay. *clears throat and gets accent ready* *using "country" accent* hey there, y'all! my name is alex and i'm here tahday tah tell yeh fellers about the trump family! i believe thet man, donald trump, was a good president. and that's not jest becuz i'm caucasian and african amurican. i swear tah yer, he was a good man in my eyes. omfg, i give up. wtf am i writing? *yeets self into dumpster*
9. consider something that you are most scared of, and then write a story about a character encountering that fear. make sure the character has a reaction to their fear that is so exaggerated it becomes funny.507Please respect copyright.PENANAqC4IpRJA18
okay, lemme try this. i'm scared of the dark. lemma alone. omg. anyways-- genevieve walked into her home late at night. "i knew i shouldn't have gone to that stupid 'get together'." she groans --bitch wtf--. her house was pitch black. she couldn't see anything as she took off her shoes. she tried to flip on a light switch. it didn't work. she tried over and over again. "holy fuck, did i pay the light bill?" she said --shoulda never sucked dick for free, genevieve. omg, i'm going to hell-- she digs in her pocket for her phone. she turned on the flashlight. she walked through her house, heart beating like crazy, mind running at what could've caused her lights not to work. she walks past the couch and the corner of the couch grazes her thigh. she screams bloody murder. "oh my fucking god!" she screams and runs through her house like a little bitch. she runs into the kitchen counter. "ouch!" she yells. she goes for another light switch. it doesn't work either. she screams even louder. she runs to her room and flips on the light. she breathes a heavy sigh, seeing the darkness disappear from the light. --you know what? i declare gore!-- then a blade stabs into her neck. she gasps and chokes up blood, holding her neck. she bleeds all over her carpets. thoughts are running through her mind. am i dying? eh, i don't care. oh my fucking god! there is blood on my carpets! wait- who stabbed me? she turns around and there is the dark behind her. she falls to the ground and dies. you know, i liked where that went. morbid as fuck but who gives a shit. i liked it. i'm weird. anyways-- NEXT~!
10. how would you describe your own sense of humor?507Please respect copyright.PENANAKghNcb5D8I
i would descibe my sense of humor to be kind of morbid, kind of crazy, not really that funny but somehow funny to other people. i think i'm a crackhead that doesn't do crack....make sense? yeah? okay, bye.
11. write a list of funny excuses that you could use to get out of doing your homework.507Please respect copyright.PENANAbu3Z8OjTWG
okay, bet. number one - so what had happened was, i didn't really know what to do so i gave it to my mom and she got angry with it so she gave it back to me and told me to get the fuck out of her room so i went to the mall and got on the airplane and drove to japan and then i biked to south korea over the sea and i dropped it on my way to south korea. so it's in the ocean between japan and south korea. i mean, feel free to look in the ocean. i hope you don't drown. *silently wishing for them to drown* *smiles all inocently* number two - my pet dragon at it. number three - i got free tickets to a bts concert with backstage tickets and i needed the paper to make a poster for bts. number four - i cried and got it all wet and then my little brother got hungry so i fed my brother my homework for dinner because i was depression and did not feel like cooking. number five - wait- we had homework? oh my god, was that what i used to pick up my unicorn's shit? i'm so sorry! number six - i lost it in zamunda. you don't know what zamunda is? oh my god, it's in africa. what type of social studies teacher are you? what the fuck do you mean, 'why was i in zamunda'? i was studying, idiot. number seven - i was sick and i used the paper as toilet paper. don't ask me what sickness i had, you icky nasty, oh my god! you disgust me. okay, lemme stop.
12. write a funny short story in which the main character is your alter ego/you.507Please respect copyright.PENANANt9O0BRa7j
funny? mm. i'll see if i can do it. so first here is my ego or aura, whatever. i'm nice, sweet, funny, "pretty", adorable, friendly, sometimes ghetto especially when i'm mad and i seem very social but i really don't like people. so, my alter ego would be someone who absolutely the opposite except for the fact that i'd still be funny and ghetto. story (btw this'll be like when i first moved here so jazzy won't be in this): i walk down the stairs of my new group home. all the heads turn towards me. the staff, bunny, gorgeous and kitkat. they all look at me, wide-eyed. i sigh, heavily and walk towards them, not wanting to get to know them. "hi." gorgeous says. "wassup." i say, sliding my hoodie on. omg, i give up. i can't do this lmao.
13. have you ever tried to use your own sense of humor to impress someone? write about whether or not your jokes worked their magic.507Please respect copyright.PENANAlpv6i9js31
i mean, yeah, mate. how do you think i have emmi? she likes me because i'm pretty, funny, loud/energetic, and i kind of don't care what people think about me.
14. think about an inside joke that you share with a friend or family member. how did that inside joke come to be? 507Please respect copyright.PENANAw3Pvyk9Qwq
bet~! me and bunny were just doing it. free real estate. i walked up to her one day and slid my hand down her arm and said that in a weird/seductive way and ever since then, it's been a thing. we were just trying to explain it to her boyfriend, lion. and yesterday, we were watching a movie and the thingy said in a british accent, 'and i'm greedy with the soup.' so now, that's a thing. we have too many inside jokes. i make too many jokes.
~~
i guess i'm doing those question things again. emmi looks sexy today, holy shet. anyways--
~~
full name? - lady leilani waterton of dogde charger.507Please respect copyright.PENANAr8sJqvfcSG
girl bestie? - coco <3507Please respect copyright.PENANAK0vPAt89kG
boy bestie? - idek anymore. i need a boy bestie.507Please respect copyright.PENANAPxPFuYDht3
age? - seven years old.507Please respect copyright.PENANAzH6kA1m16x
last person i texted? - idfk.507Please respect copyright.PENANAiIFgc58kuY
last person i called? - probably my little brother.507Please respect copyright.PENANAqDip8ncIhH
current crush? - my girlfriend, emmi, tf?507Please respect copyright.PENANAHf7LTHSdFe
random fact? - i like food.507Please respect copyright.PENANAbtmQYJouGI
single or taken? - big, fat taken.507Please respect copyright.PENANAc2C3fl0S7Z
favourite quote? - if it delicious, it's zero calories. said by wwh.507Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1PrhJeIUI
first kiss? - bitch wtf?507Please respect copyright.PENANAfWzR9VCDZc
ever smoked? - nope.507Please respect copyright.PENANAJFg1PXhHWT
ever done drugs? - nope~507Please respect copyright.PENANA8scSD33i4c
ever been drunk? - i don't drink.507Please respect copyright.PENANAHR1JiKAOTB
longest relationship? - five and a half months.507Please respect copyright.PENANA1Sx3Wd1hp9
pet peeve? - my little brother. his entire existent. but i still love him.507Please respect copyright.PENANAKrCdwsS785
eye colour? - brown. my little brother's eyes are really pretty.507Please respect copyright.PENANA2AtpLeA6oD
birthday? - 1930.01.01-- nah, i'm playing but no one needs to know my birthday.507Please respect copyright.PENANAEaWdlzg6W6
obsession? - kpop.507Please respect copyright.PENANAHO8328oUwf
do you give second chances? - that depends.507Please respect copyright.PENANA4M3JcKZ4dL
play any sports? - no, bitch. the hell do i look like?507Please respect copyright.PENANAcNcTesHydV
dream job? - kpop idol or just a singer in general.507Please respect copyright.PENANAbikxZoc4cY
day or night? - idk.507Please respect copyright.PENANAiGl6TzNYHj
your idea of a perfec date? - idk.507Please respect copyright.PENANAWfexOxnANz
sing in the shower? - yes, motherfucker. i throw whole ass concerts in the shower.507Please respect copyright.PENANA3dm5vsvAhs
favourite colour(s)? - purple and black.507Please respect copyright.PENANAYU1ygGlyyh
any tattoos? - nope. i'm lame.507Please respect copyright.PENANA09m6OiECmP
any peircings? - yes, in my ears.507Please respect copyright.PENANAl2lUVDLPsu
favourite movie(s)? - idk.507Please respect copyright.PENANARpqtxA7Swf
current mood? - bored and tired.507Please respect copyright.PENANAlBz0ilpqzx
jealous of? - a lot of things.507Please respect copyright.PENANANwiYuSmSfs
place you want to visit? - south korea and cambodia.507Please respect copyright.PENANAatVLPA0zVI
pets? - two dogs.507Please respect copyright.PENANArZ5bGGPWVX
last song you listened to? - spring day and currently listening to crystal snow and trying not to cry. so far succesful in not crying and the song is ending.507Please respect copyright.PENANA10kpEhsyRx
favourite number? - seven.507Please respect copyright.PENANAkNcKcPFawb
nicknames? - vanilla, alex, suga, steph.507Please respect copyright.PENANAn6md3BxitE
siblings? - 5 older sisters and 2 brothers.507Please respect copyright.PENANAjo1ET1zbnW
afraid of the dark? - yes.507Please respect copyright.PENANA72hvJkCS8A
one wish? - to be happy for real.507Please respect copyright.PENANACG7Zxd52MU
something you want to do!? - live life. vibe, you know?507Please respect copyright.PENANAKsadh7pwXK
~507Please respect copyright.PENANAU8nAkU3Aev
full name? - mind your fucking business, damn.507Please respect copyright.PENANA5Zxd18O8Cy
age? - i'm still seven years old.507Please respect copyright.PENANAoJjbROlBhC
idols? - bts, stray kids, blackpink, kamla harris, etc.507Please respect copyright.PENANArpMnLsLpqi
something you hate about yourself? - my body.507Please respect copyright.PENANASWfhDcbuZb
something you like about yourself? - idk.507Please respect copyright.PENANAlhirS60zZX
someone you hate? - jason derulo and donald trump.507Please respect copyright.PENANAGQPV9zHfV8
favourite band? - bts.507Please respect copyright.PENANA2WESA3mmY3
say 'sexy' what do you think of? - that time when stray kids was still nine members and they were roleplaying. felix was a grand father and he has this old man voice and it was still sexy but funny. but that's not it. he said sexy instead of saekshi, i guess and woojin corrected him and felix kept saying saekshi over and over. oh, i also think of bts and just-- agh!507Please respect copyright.PENANA9khmldO5H4
ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend? - no, of course not.507Please respect copyright.PENANATE4GMth5cr
where do you want to be right now? - idk. south korea.507Please respect copyright.PENANAhLPlp512Ef
girl crush? - emmi.507Please respect copyright.PENANAv1v5Tqne38
boy crush? - bts. plural, bitch.507Please respect copyright.PENANAmKAa4NRZIX
an embarrassing memory? - look at this top ^507Please respect copyright.PENANAdSskCTiKbH
talents? - singing.507Please respect copyright.PENANATPwjJNw464
soemone i miss? - my step-mom.507Please respect copyright.PENANAAwTJs2FMeZ
someone i love? - emmi.507Please respect copyright.PENANA6LoHVUT58q
my future goals? - idk. graduate school. succeed in life, i guess.507Please respect copyright.PENANA5q7O6GmY9P
a confession? - i am not ninety-one years old.507Please respect copyright.PENANA1QQXhlE6Ef
something i'm addicted to? - love and affection even though i don't get a lot of them. oh, also, drugs! yeah, no. i'm playing.507Please respect copyright.PENANAY6ie29u8bU
favourite animal? - dogs.507Please respect copyright.PENANA0UwZgLX5Lg
favourite tv couples? - weiyoung and touba jun. minde and di. jin-wook and yu-mi. spongebob and sandy. probably more but i don't feel like going through them all. 507Please respect copyright.PENANABtTCKR5H6J
ships? - namjin, jikook, taekook, sope.507Please respect copyright.PENANAAg84542ZtW
worst movie you've ever saw? - i don't remember what it was called but it was just terrible. i was so cunfused.507Please respect copyright.PENANAtxiPZu7It5
what's your biggest wish? - to be a singer.507Please respect copyright.PENANANJEuQeBHKk
bad habits? - hitting people out of affection. being sarcastic.507Please respect copyright.PENANAxh6TOCXCkE
food you hate? - pineapple pizza, school luch fried chicken because that chicken be fake and disgusting. caviar. 507Please respect copyright.PENANARso0r8568p
hair colour? - brown. i'm ugly as fuck so when i say i feel sexy, ignore that shit.507Please respect copyright.PENANAgIpY4TJnCT
favourite kind of ice cream? - cookies & cream and chocolate.507Please respect copyright.PENANAmlAjnRyykV
~507Please respect copyright.PENANA2bwEHtskyD
gender? - oppa attack helicopter and/or female.507Please respect copyright.PENANAlVuUXEve5C
country? - i don't live on earth. 507Please respect copyright.PENANAL2hgrPCl8x
languages you speak? - lunarian, trigedasleng, english, tiny korean, sorta french, kinda spanish.507Please respect copyright.PENANAV31GbhVFBH
last lie you told? - that i'm pretty.507Please respect copyright.PENANAkhHKLIsuKG
favourite subject in school? - english language arts.507Please respect copyright.PENANA9UJVwwPCyg
most expensive item you own? - a pair of vans.507Please respect copyright.PENANACzisSpqE1r
country with your favourite accent? - australia.507Please respect copyright.PENANA8GOcSx5zmV
do you have any children? - i was about to answer like, bitch wtf, no. but i do. li minde, touba jun, touba yu, cheng de, li weiyoung, jun tao, bai zhi, jungkook, jennie, lisa, ni-ki, all of txt, jasper from the 100, etc. i have a lot of kids.507Please respect copyright.PENANACmvkFfCl10
dog or cat person? - both.507Please respect copyright.PENANAAIzgbnDDG4
first kiss? if so, what age? - yes. thirteen years old.507Please respect copyright.PENANArhICuT4IuQ
do you live in a house or apartment? - nosy, i declare. i live in a house. damn.507Please respect copyright.PENANAFVQ2vjSXmw
do you belive in God? - idk.507Please respect copyright.PENANAG2U3HIWZsH
single or taken? - taken.507Please respect copyright.PENANACSRjrgiZJz
favourite body part of the opposite gender? - well, damn. heh heh. nah, perverts. torso and hands, omg. *dies*507Please respect copyright.PENANAxSSz9StBzD
birthday year? - 1930.507Please respect copyright.PENANAyrKLOi0owd
celebrity crush? - holy fuck, dude. i have a lot.507Please respect copyright.PENANAr0NFdoKkt8
age? - what's that?507Please respect copyright.PENANAF3uZTK9zoR
enthinicity? - african american.507Please respect copyright.PENANAZSDr4TunzV
tea or coffee? - neither.507Please respect copyright.PENANAXqtIoDxtzu
random skill you have? - i can make people smile.507Please respect copyright.PENANAwkaGyHjyCX
prefer hugs or kisses? - i mean, both. *slow motion walks looking stupid as fuck*507Please respect copyright.PENANAKdSlYbguMZ
favourite food? - ice cream.507Please respect copyright.PENANAumQK6NtfeE
last person you saw naked? - myself, you fucking icky nasty. 507Please respect copyright.PENANAAfkW8mxCZA
shared nudes? - damn, people are nosy but yes.507Please respect copyright.PENANALwdD2O8wjt
eye colour? - the rainbow. get on my level.507Please respect copyright.PENANAYyRoWkbjDb
favourite soda? - sprite.507Please respect copyright.PENANAOz4CesHgXx
biggest pet peeve? - people being people.507Please respect copyright.PENANAY8pnVQvCRc
can you swim? - yes, wtf?507Please respect copyright.PENANAqolVk0A0wX
favourite song at the moment? - 19 by stray kids but that could change every 2 seconds. honestly i don't think i have a favourite song.507Please respect copyright.PENANAqpJizYMZjb
do you watch porn? - no, but i have with my cousin and her friends because we wanted to see the tony lopez leaked video so we searched porn hub. one thing went to another and we ended up seeing an apparent james charles leaked sex tape and then my cousin and her friend sat there and watched a bondage for like an hour while me and her other friend decided to cleanse our eyes with bleach and protect our assholes.507Please respect copyright.PENANAXdrkuuBkuA
virgin? - yes, omg. nasty.507Please respect copyright.PENANAflMwhvgifL
favourite social media platform(s) - twitter, weverse, snapchat.507Please respect copyright.PENANARHPQnJrY35
colour of your current bed sheets? - weird question but, uhm, they're grey...yep *nodding*507Please respect copyright.PENANAz929pV11sE
apple or andriod? - apple.507Please respect copyright.PENANAvxIE9jcx2O
best dessert? - mochi.507Please respect copyright.PENANA44v3Nc5uqE
~507Please respect copyright.PENANAyCfJuMgdvy
have you ever:507Please respect copyright.PENANATt1DWcevyQ
1. skipped class? - yes.507Please respect copyright.PENANA1yUWfLwk1Y
2. done drugs? - no.507Please respect copyright.PENANAANAobj0JOi
3. self-harmed? - yes.507Please respect copyright.PENANACinfb7sKRN
4. drank? - no.507Please respect copyright.PENANArBgD3j11xk
5. shoplifted? - yes.507Please respect copyright.PENANAVkUi0wv0IM
6. gotten a tattoo? - no.507Please respect copyright.PENANAnK09xYUAUd
7. broken up with someone? - yes.507Please respect copyright.PENANAEVF83ldaXY
what's your favourite:507Please respect copyright.PENANAIvdCnvnGWC
8. show? - the princess weiyoung.507Please respect copyright.PENANA3OjIS8vP35
9. movie? - break the silence.507Please respect copyright.PENANAzNpw0AwBfZ
10. song? - idk anymore and i just answered that, like, 5 minutes ago, omg.507Please respect copyright.PENANAsUdvn5SRlk
11. artist? - bts.507Please respect copyright.PENANAMVteWV4GRI
12. singer or band? - bts.507Please respect copyright.PENANA3xZCUVr3sZ
13. memory? - idk.507Please respect copyright.PENANAOYoyMPZkrE
14. book? - the cruel prince.507Please respect copyright.PENANAvXC9L9IB37
this or that:507Please respect copyright.PENANAc0Vehv9zcH
15. invisibility or ability to fly? - fly.507Please respect copyright.PENANA3ot4PgDilR
16. cookies or cake? - cookies.507Please respect copyright.PENANA7eSFRkozEN
17. twitter or facebook? - twitter.507Please respect copyright.PENANAjCzdduKRuA
18. movies or books? - idk.507Please respect copyright.PENANAixDK7ianZu
19. coke or sprite? - sprite.507Please respect copyright.PENANATVyyL6HdI9
20. blind of deaf? - blind.507Please respect copyright.PENANA06NAbj8B9Z
21. tea or coffee? - neither.507Please respect copyright.PENANAzammYvJBIG
what's your:507Please respect copyright.PENANA4EmpsQfu3f
22. age? - ninety-one.507Please respect copyright.PENANA4tV8mnA2tf
23. zodiac sign? - virgo/libra cusp.507Please respect copyright.PENANA1W4g4lHLWE
24. height? - 4'11.507Please respect copyright.PENANACkXjapaNcK
25. sexual orientation? - bisexual.507Please respect copyright.PENANAjE13zCnKmN
26. shoe size? - seven.507Please respect copyright.PENANAZaCO0K4jBS
27. religion? - i'm not religious.507Please respect copyright.PENANAurAiBX3XX5
28. longest relationship? - like, five months.507Please respect copyright.PENANAI0UJQIipeW
opinion on: 507Please respect copyright.PENANAc77dNW0sRs
29. gay rights? - i'm gay...507Please respect copyright.PENANAfPDX5wWgI5
30. second chances? - it depends.507Please respect copyright.PENANAMX2xo9SrQm
31. long distance relationships? - don't get hurt, baby.507Please respect copyright.PENANAae2h4HtBlU
32. abortion? - ew.507Please respect copyright.PENANAB8MtC0HEwv
33. a death penalty? - ew.507Please respect copyright.PENANAsrj4n3La2h
34. marijuana? - i likes that.507Please respect copyright.PENANAXXL2iPLblj
35. love? - what's love?507Please respect copyright.PENANAKQXtUphE7A
do you:507Please respect copyright.PENANA4d8fgJ3s6z
36. belive in ghosts? - sorta kinda.507Please respect copyright.PENANAX1xUjXx8M0
507Please respect copyright.PENANAQVyUaPoOZa
omg, bye. i'm tired of this.
- Alex <3507Please respect copyright.PENANAaWmsqnkCwx