這也是四年前的事了。
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無論如何，我自認是個單純的女孩子，從沒想過要談場轟轟烈烈的戀愛。高二那年喜歡上坐我前面的男孩，他講話很討人喜歡，他叫李昀修，我總連名帶姓的叫他，簡短「李」的發音，然後很快喚他，就像直呼他的名字，昀修。不管怎樣都好，我只希望能更接近他一點。
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現在想想，當時的我也太無聊了。
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直到升上高三那年，有天傍晚，我打了通電話向他告白，然後被他拒絕，當下，我竟沒有任何傷心的感覺。
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為什麼？是我不喜歡他嗎？這問題盤旋在我腦中久久不散。
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後來我只要求他陪我聊天一直到垃圾車來，他的語氣聽來小心翼翼。之後，我還是會不自覺地看著他，喜歡又不一定要成為情侶，我是這樣認為的。只覺得就這樣看著他也好。
無須疑問，我愛的是男生。至少在高中畢業前。
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€
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說了那麼久，也該自我介紹一下。
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我叫柯水恆 ，仔細看呀！
常常有人把我的名字叫錯，是「水恆」不是「永恆」。
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還有，我是女生！
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不少人勸我改名，改成永恆，說什麼感覺比較好。
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是嗎？
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改成永恆，和妳，就能永恆嗎？
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