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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHrAb6mfKJ
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLqBXS7uuw
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還沒有學會「接受」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViP6QRVids
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接受現實409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZreBEhxaNF
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因為認為是屈服409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgJXEs9i4B
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感覺好像自己在投降409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyES87n7NQW
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放棄一切409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6VQr0H9af
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoeWZmrWwk
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddl5AMnFbV
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認為是這樣子的狂妄409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpgdfmpVF1
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無他409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto8TwNfvA0
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說是愚痴也不過份409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCay46I1Bl
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只是她不相信409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMVPevvoth
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懷疑409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTMnEeuxA4
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她⋯⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9g1PSlmYxL
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「⋯⋯」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z4NlrfV2m
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQUO51xm3n
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單單是想像也有夠不安409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpMeMAq7aO
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9S8m79C0k
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyKvnBVQPp
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唯一句409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IxOzSO0rO
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當局者迷，旁觀者清409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQULTUXE8qk
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4KvETNgZo
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2noDBmMihr
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4TQPC4vr3
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且不死，無法殺死409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcuawKIoUd
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人家已經很盡力了409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcVSZcvozS
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSW477EWRGf
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憤怒409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Pmskei0iU
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWvAAMUgku
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因為我沒有用409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtYIYmzXm9
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1JA6nnNOd
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EeKmEyACp
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhVczvIdF2
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSu16LaK4Q
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiHyN9KzSc
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZ30YAL6Fi
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3creFmec6o
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsqJKQXs4N
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqLjYRk1Ka
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCpoHn2qTw
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUYFAejJTV
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9sVco4wDo
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已經失眠了多久？409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHivgVs1ER
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4zhHKS4cz
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HZOeZifew
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXDOayEQFI
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPGG5HTVa2
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvy0DwA1mW
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kWKjoasGJ
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvexmvNkFKn
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkHYQ9h4ST
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SyKTg7Zjh
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JLpmae7fi
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sVyyA9WQE
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——呀？
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嗯？409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeh1CIKe6qy
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4nMYerd42
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNLQn47O9i
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3ddvIlLJe
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcx2Wii3II
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACrnkdGfzx
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1xhFvCZRQ
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCgf8GM9W0
我也想活下去
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYBlDwy1e2
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXSVPY0M2R
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1vJCTGp0d
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGG93T6in9
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21FUbLQSqe
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx36ocvfaMO
或是說，我不希望⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMCyr8OR9T
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ix2gBpln3
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⋯⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ509Oy34hlP
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdRfn2IWer
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzA4cd89KSL
對不起409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxES24LAVn
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHixD5I2djn
我也希望自己⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdbKHJQk50
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsCrhciQYU
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlx9fis9ju
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FTdp7hpQQ
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPr62seJz2
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTd0G1S3N70
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzHYQhY6SQ
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgH8NJ78OFp
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQGBQ7Yoaq
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO4NqqfzBH
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQJVybnmWe
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2BtnqWkwC
「⋯⋯嗯」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0queNr9XK
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVf0KuEHE6d
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJK1YETCBfi
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4AcbQxynU
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQjFh2MWGm
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
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「⋯⋯」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupWpkZSMWE
「真的」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbNshcCxvL
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkgcWKtQa8
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wl7EuUe2b
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6e9yorlwD3
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIco7xLxGH
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sykERZaGs
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5EOyozqYK
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrOx1O1Vk7
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyNLYUpLpx
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtychvfnxQx
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5EiKkoboS
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII2H3el7Tq
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0X5mqXZXiO
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Cv7pBTKmm
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkW4EZyLKV
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8J7dIMQVXO
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5at05qgqmU
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oCqywwjt9
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdgWuGpDM0
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8WN3ANZ6h
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxedqc5xbCX
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MU4AfAC1k
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35X0oh7MVe
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlElChiKt2
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKVsHSe3Yv
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2I4ygAP8Nc
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtoqPX9c6K
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HKPvfihLK
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWbCy2cykY
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4cJ1jn7GK
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRtnWWS76s
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡag1piWeCbM
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZ4JNjM2Sm
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2zmdLiuQ3
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqUvf4bMst
最後一記，最強烈
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHv9DDaJbA
「⋯哈啊⋯」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YtfzOPH4G
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpZZS59AK4
鬆口，直至其手到胸口409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh8SCfklvo
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ777Hmes02w
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZ3ZZuNz2g
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsr7AWVs6r
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq8xHjQRwF
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Xnhe8h6MJ
「⋯啊？」
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMdZ3b9Jhu
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKym3UIIum7
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxnWgvAfr6
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4erxiCzTqe
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPfOpKO5mx
「等、等等」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwywiNR73Sz
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyEBQhIfuK
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMquDc8Ch3
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wxaEIjaon
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2h9mSb9rA
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiwtJ5sZNX
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9bFV0sC8R
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEecE6Z2Lgz
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUAE21r5tG
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHViTczJe7
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmsBqE2Phc
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjGRG1pUf9
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg90gRMxW8w
好痛
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但會有人在意嗎？
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sT7H1f7rd
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jXLl337Wk
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrsdrOrv9a
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP2iU2IVBZ
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEIt2wmDZj
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznrRIMQfJI
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCtXpXq1gn
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV7xzwSA0J
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBpmiat1Bb
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMC1BbMHx3
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7TYYSlp90
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65uY589fQZ
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxoQgRQM3K
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4zJ5pLf99
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASzS4TXNMm
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcTEos8YXH
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Cxfc4bduW
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAplSCQBqbp
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABbubjeKFx
比較下，條件不由自己定
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYRYboYTWC
我沒有選擇權409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhfomwd5mQ
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRk7NijEAX7
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa5aRC2RSQ
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH4wf7bypI
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKmUGz6hs7
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAotSx2eVEm
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFEaBS2M1f
明白嗎？409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGQx57nuom
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk7jVdZLHm
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx0wPP5GqK
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHOPCjsyiS
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6urqptnza
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iKnxva5HC
若世界更溫柔的話——
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2GwCkwjAo
不可能409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cSGttxfxv
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMnw2QRNM6
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88NKuev6yq
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFyVJIza6b
什麼也沒有409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZjdFVySnJ
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw16uHG0GxE
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BNfmbkUyR
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoX14O4Oik
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNvTLt88Dn
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PKxJqObAl
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hBbpSK92Z
當然409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UsJdNeU3n
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3jqvZycnt
絕對
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeOTxGHC2h
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIL8jg0NmJt
不想409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOk2Z0nx9G
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rJMTmZfNX
但始終，真的太辛苦了409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFX4rBcsOCD
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubv6c5rZql
⋯⋯409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMKtm0ZZMB
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eeS3yChHL
思考真的太辛苦了409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlBfGrFvia
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSLFHpn4QH
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39UADgBfwT
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEc8sWRi7D
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn4GHZTsfE
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsbQmwVkWi
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgFIpw2BTN
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWvfjNj3Mm
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QaQJKT61o
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeydV9KGAU
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyxfvoochw
「⋯⋯對不起」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdL0zosdlAD
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSXIstoPDq
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5rycRKZLr
「嗯⋯」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rqoikfl0M
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8jVFBMcWj
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtOm1uyAnt
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxswHXDK0g1
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtqd9VTuCH
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RPVDsnmgl
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNmwmbkCIm
「忠誠致赤雨之日」409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnPpJYiUjJ
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0a9BW5ARnk
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy8eloy8l1
女孩說道
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBw6FRD6Zrv
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zg1XPZM6J
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRK1YSEBY3
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATW2RL6u8q
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOWnb8GDbI
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55X5pH6zpe
是女孩的指示409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrgm1rnfdq
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTydYYINaaX
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oHAsV0Tko
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWL6FzQhlA
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLl7kuZxqO
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQV6iqF7GBy
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3KjmeoWuc
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6bcku5pad
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakoZW32RpZ
直至最後能看見的——409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXDBAoekyI
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvZeH3tot0
也不存在
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAuA5d1Bft
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSSgPEhbWh
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyesCVcLkm2
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO4GKbXgnC
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwIncloWiN
但無法辨認409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbCR0gsCLF
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJ1ISkfsRg
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrDFZvlbPb
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovgUqGmMrs
黑暗將自己包圍409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHO1ZmVykT
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhtxwn31vn
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSQ17viYxT
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41AUzYMkRq
不知多久了409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoo28sBXVAB
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScdtX7ytz4
在那時開始409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzz4onah1L
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQnTsIsQND
那裏409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhe2nlUN9a
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfydWR3Hej3
但有些事情〇〇
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXysHh5swO
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLLMsD3fbi
〇〇〇409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibC9vXsjPQ
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRjdzJUpQr
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZ7MLA0imR
〇〇〇〇〇〇409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlA5GVUAcGO
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSoAKeWpeZ
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsx18ZKrSDd
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4Q9lBpDol
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoSYgCzSxC
現在不是你的回合409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCaih1lH3U
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmz7Og1zoF
409Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNilyGO8AMH
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