[FANFIC - HBD, KARIN!] PÉRIODICITÉ (SK)
Title: périodicité435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1jpM5GZkv
By: Kanae (Goth-Punk88 @ ff.net)435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eUAjm2kyV
Rating: K+435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TEtI1N64P
Word Count: 2.817435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RlvuHJtiF
Author's Notes: Made for our "Karin's birthday week" over at the Ice&Spice FC @ NF ♥ I... don't even know what this is, or where it came from, and it's possibly one of the cheesiest pieces I've written for SK. But I kind of regret nothing lol - Oh and that novice drawing at the top of the fic? yup, mines. guilty as charged orz435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQ8S6tFKBV
Summary: June 20 has never been an ordinary day for one Uzumaki Karin.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6evPodtMbv
périodicité (periodicity)435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa0BR23IW7
"recurrence at regular intervals of time."
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périodicité;435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Sf4EXwNwO
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by Kanae
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“Don’t look so down, darling. This is a great chance for you.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvD53xDtZcx
“…Yeah… a great chance to make a fool of myself, you mean.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvqJncUBg8
A twinkling laugh, a delicate hand warmly lands over a girl’s head and—
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At twelve, there aren’t many things that Karin has done or that she wishes to do. She is just an ordinary girl from an ordinary family living in an ordinary village; there is nothing special about her, nothing out of the norm, nothing that makes her stand out—if one ignores her flagrant red hair, that is.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmeVT1OHyw
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But that is just what her father seems to have wanted to do all along.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemZhj2P6Oo
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You’re going out? Don’t forget to put your hood on, Karin, he would say, whenever Karin had to wander away from the immediate realms of their home. Why, papa? She used to ask when she was no more than a little girl; but that was a habit that slowly but surely withered and died as she began to grow up—as she started to grow aware enough to notice the wary air her father’s kind, wise red eyes acquired as the reminder left his lips.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPWzbUv9B7
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As she grew older, Karin learned to recognize it for what it truly was: more a warning than a piece of advice; and she began to grow more jittery as result, more worn at the seams.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIlgNRUF21
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Her red hair was her only outstanding trait, the only thing that made her different—without it, Karin may as well fade into the scenery.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpqm5Elkn3
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She may as well not exist.
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—and ruffles her hair.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxttoVzt6TT
“Now, now, don’t be like that. I have a good feeling about this, you know?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFeSAoYui5
“…What do you mean, mama?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJboe3lZ3E
A secretive smile highlighted by—
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At thirteen, Karin nearly dies.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppMtIzy35S
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And then she is saved—saved by a striking boy with a rich voice and eyes that warm her up to the core the moment he smiles—at her, for her—and suddenly, Karin does not feel so ordinary anymore.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKp1WMheUk
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There is something different about you, her mother tells her once with a knowing smile, ever since you came back from Konoha.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyMRCyI8C1
Karin jumps in her seat, awkward denial bubbling up in her throat and evaporating the moment her mother laughs, I like it. You look prettier, Karin.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxGun25Zl5
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She does not know about that—can’t see any difference as she looks at herself in the mirror, self-consciously pulling on some strands of red hair and squinting at her reflection.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQ1lpfIeDU
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What she does know, though—what she can’t forget, is—435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrB30Pqi91
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See ya, he had said, and it takes Karin a surprising amount of time to realize that, for the first time since she could remember, there was something she wanted.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfYhc3P40x
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Wanted for herself; not for her parents, not for those she cares about. Something that was completely hers, in all its staggering intensity and youthful hope.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3gXLrQGuF
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See ya, he had said, and until then Karin had never quite known how good it felt to feel alive.
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—by amber eyes that seem to spark.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTURmNaMFBy
“Ara~ I wonder if I should tell you. It is a safely guarded secret, you see.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcp6nxXhpIf
“I will keep it! I promise, I won’t tell anybody, mama!”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzm1WT1VN8L
A chuckle, “Alright, alright! Since you insist, I'll tell you. It—”
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At fourteen, Karin breathes her last breath.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyLJPL1yDU
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There is no blood—not hers—involved, nor are there any wounds—not physical ones—or any white walls or tunnels and gates of light—no light, only dark—only smoke—only the smell of burnt flesh and intest—435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2C6vthl33
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There is, however, anguish. An agony so great that Karin bit her lip until it bled, fisted her palms until her nails left permanent crescent-moon shaped scars in the contours of her skin, new batches added to already cracked life lines.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQPkJO4pjG
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There are silent, chocked sobs that made her throat burn and her sight blur until she has ran out of tears.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwHspnhNZI
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And there is also horror; a burning, paralyzing sort of horror that reaches its peak and fades into a mute but perpetual tune stringing the chords of her being as she comes back and stares at the corpses of her father and mother, unrecognizable masses of ashes retching of burnt blood and bodily fluids that make a pile of vile crawl its way up to her tongue.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKuYlNefr8
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And then, there is he—sidestepping the man with ominous dark chakra and extending a hand towards her, onyx eyes boring into her own with the same might with which the understanding in his chakra drove her horror away.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWRqnfLSyf
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You staying here will amount to nothing, but you leaving just might, he says. Come, Karin, he calls.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdi3YELAofS
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She takes his hand, and there is hope.
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“—It is said that one too many women in our family have found their fate in the lands of Konohagakure.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkH4JAwzKEk
“Their… fate?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaW7ZfzY6mv
Her voice curls up around the edges, as if it were a spell.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagpZkyNw1X
“You will understand in—”
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At fifteen, Karin has shed her skin.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuat4xBRAQB
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There are now sharp edges where there used to be soft contours; angry frowns where there used to be kindness, smirks where there used to be smiles; buoyancy where there once was shame, barriers in what once were vast landscapes—and there are also scars.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCdZNN6ZLU
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Tell-tale scars of the Karin she used to be and new, revolting ones from the Karin she has become. She hides the latter and denies the former; pretends they’re long gone, never aching, never hurting anymore.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGt4tzFBEG
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Yet, he sees them all. As if she wore them on her sleeve.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RMV8ga19q
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“Say, Sasuke, since we’re alone how about we—”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBiHW35Y6t
“I have to leave soon, Karin.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCCn3papbW
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She puts her glasses back on and crosses her arms with a frown, moving away from him. “Why did you even bother coming, then?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6mIF4pDTQ
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Sasuke says nothing, then. He says nothing, and Karin straightens, her back suddenly assaulted by gooseflesh; could he—?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbkju6Qc7M
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Could he have possibly known? Known how before his unexpected arrival, Karin had been hounded by her memories. Seeing familiar faces in the nameless prisoners of the base, ghosts come back to haunt her and pull her down with them to the depths of hell—a hell made of nothing but flames and guilt of mistakes she is not sure she would take back, even if she could.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhowxGRCISq
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“…I had business here, is all.” His voice reaches out to her through the haze of her thoughts, pulling her back with nonchalant words that seemed devoid of any meaning.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWaudI3YUu
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But as she turns and her eyes meet his, Karin sees.
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“—in due time, Karin.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ewt1dSmDe
“Still, mama… it just isn’t fair.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSAp9nWJG1
“What isn’t, dear?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuPFrjaT6c
“… I wanted to spend my birthday with you and papa.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLNEQWxQI4
Her smile—
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At sixteen, Karin falls.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4lAuxPW9s
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She falls from a great, great height at appalling speed; she hasn’t even had time to acknowledge the abysm before she has hit rock bottom, her goals and dreams spilling through her open chest and pooling on the ground alongside everything she knows.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTqslMBKY7
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Alongside everything she once held dear. Everyone she relied on. The one she trusted.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN23J0amDG8
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Now, there was no one left.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tFigNxUlL
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No one left but the roaming, empty carcass of the boy she once loved; the boy who taught her what it felt like to be alive, the boy who gave her hope and helped her find meaning back when she had lost her way, the boy who helped her to be reborn from her ashes into someone better; someone stronger, someone capable of standing up for herself and for him, too. The boy who flared her will and her drive with a single touch, with a single look, with the simplest of words—435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnRw9wVski
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I need you435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8FzHpMAyn
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“So much for that,” Karin mutters to no one, her back pressed against the cold walls of a cell and her fingers absentmindedly tracing the ghost of the wound that had taken her heart out for good.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR13BMYbisP
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And then it comes. An almost unnoticeable flicker—too subtle to be perceived, but too longed for to be ignored.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5z5AQu8Ldl
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No… I’ve had enough, Sasuke but her withered heart is trying to beat again, and it makes up her mind for her.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjYaG1vXfD
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“…So much for this,” Karin murmurs to herself—and then she is on her feet again, her inner eye tracing his every move.
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—melts.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUMxztHhkK
“Cheer up, love. There will be many birthdays left for us to celebrate together.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNmxf2Xk8I
“… You promise?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEVzNB5FXI
Her gaze softens.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq6KHgeFcr
“I promise.”
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At seventeen, Karin kisses him.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3mKPCP2Co
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She impulsively crashes her lips against his, her arms thrown around his neck in a desperate attempt to hold onto him—to anchor him down before his essence could have the chance to fade into pitch black darkness again, to feel him before he could have the chance to waste his life—her life, their future—chasing phantoms all the way to the death.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfSKMKzZfa
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When the impromptu kiss ends, Karin sees him—the him she knows, the him she loves—flickering across his eyes for the briefest of moments, and she hears her name resounding in her ears even though he has not uttered a single sound.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoLymJJOLE
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She smiles ruefully; trembling eyes boring into his—and then wordlessly lets him go.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNeYCuiN8F
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She has given him a reason, but the choice is his to make.
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“Ha, so it was about a boy, I knew it!”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVWHtdFBhP
“Shh, mama! I don’t want papa to hear! And… it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, anyway….”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslAU3Zplu5
Her mother has to hide her smile, “Actually, Karin… something tells me you just might.”
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At eighteen, Sasuke kisses her back.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZ4qQICKYV
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It is not nearly as passionate as her—their—first kiss had been; there is no desperation, no adrenaline—but there is craving all the same, waving through the serenity threading over her through the gentle pressure of his fingertips over the nape of her neck, enveloping her like a makeshift cloak and warming her down to her very core.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68wYmsAq0X
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And Karin feels her very essence quiver under it—under the warmth and the way her heart seemed to want to leave her and jump into him instead, to claim the home it has always longed for; the home it has always fought for.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2bPhmYjOo
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The home it belonged to.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgEeGEG9Be
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As he kisses her, sunrays clumsily dancing upon her lips, Karin feels like she would vaporize into him if Sasuke were to take a single breath.
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“How do you know?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARdzcTnQ4Y
“Because, that’s how fate works, Karin.”
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At nineteen, Karin smiles.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoHvwjiHuj
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“Itachi,” she says, and Sasuke looks up to her, startled. “The name… Itachi. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhC57uUhjT
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Sasuke parts his lips—once, twice—but no sound comes out and soon enough he gives up altogether, lowering his eyes to stare at the bundle in his arms. It stares back at him, impossibly red eyes widened with innocent curiosity, pink tongue sticking out from underneath rosy lips.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALnJICFdYt
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“Are you sure, Karin?” he whispers after what seemed like an eternity, and Karin’s smile only widens.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuypcuoDfD2
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“Yeah.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmH43wI67JZ
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And as she sees them—as she sees Sasuke hold their baby as if he were holding the whole, wide world in the crook of his arms—Karin remembers her mother with such vivid clarity that she catches a breath of her perfume. The memory—the vision is bittersweet, and it makes Karin’s throat clog, because she recognizes that look.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCYD0qZ3Gl
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It was the way her mother used to look at her father and her, eyes brimming with love and pride, unspoken but ever-present, never changing. Karin had not been able to understand it, then—435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoEXNS1WxZ
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But she did, now. And the understanding squeezed her heart in a way that was both, wonderful and terrible. To think it took her this long to finally understand, once and for all, what it all meant.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwKiEwJIEc
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To understand who her mother truly was, what her mother felt, what her mother desired for her—and how her mother hurt.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4JaqtuSiR
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You’re special, Karin. She would tell her sometimes, her eyes half-lidded and afflicted by thoughts she would never get the chance to say aloud. One day, you will realize that.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35iUh7y8P8
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She realized it, now; what it meant to love to her roots, what it meant to be a woman.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpDpqVJi9j
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An Uzumaki woman.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkv7jDfstQr
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“… Thank you, Karin.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRHs8Lxvp8
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“Idiot,” she shakes her head, weakly, traitorous tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill. “That... should be my line.”
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“They will be here soon,”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVt2lWn2DLx
“Who will be here soon, mama?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzVlrvIcLo
“It could be anyone,” she finally replies, and her hold is steady as she combs through Karin’s hair, “we have long since lost any care for their identities, Karin. What matters is… what their presence means.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVvPY9DEBt
“And what is that?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfvehfTeVj
Her silence provides the only answer; and Karin wishes it weren’t enough.
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At twenty, Karin celebrates her birthday for the first time in seven years.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9HHAJE9HR
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And it starts with a soft but firm admittance whispered as she caresses the baby’s nose, all too aware of the pleasant weight of Sasuke’s gaze, of the feelings swirling in his chakra.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VQcnovfMB
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Hearing them is unexpected, however—and her widened eyes snap to his only to find his lips beginning to curve, his own hand coming to caress her cheek in much the same way she was doing to their son.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vNbvM0nqI
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“W—what was that about?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqeDWEoJhD
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She asks; some habits are hard to break, and her awkward way of fighting down her embarrassment seemed to be as persistent as ever.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGbm18nPSI
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Sasuke doesn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, his smile seems to morph into an amused smirk as he shrugs, noncommittally. “I just felt like saying it, is all.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNfhPr5FLT
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“Dumbass,” she mutters, hoping the darkness will hide the way her cheeks have warmed up like bonfires, so reminiscent of her prepubescent days when all she could do was a dream she would one day lay with Sasuke the way she does now. “...You didn't need to.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6A6hdjSsq
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“I know, Karin,” and this time he is positively smiling, suddenly mutating back into the Sasuke that had stolen her heart so many years ago. “But it still felt good to say it.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bz9Z2YtBI
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Karin says nothing in response; simply snuggles closer to him, eyes on the baby as he opens his eyes and blinks, his little hands curling and uncurling up into the air.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfJCvpWFbP
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“He is going to be strong,” Sasuke assesses, and Karin would have mocked him by how ridiculous it was that he sounds that proud of Itachi when the baby hasn’t even said his first word yet, weren’t it because she felt the same way.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBDnM8762b
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He was going to be strong. A little piece of herself and Sasuke—a memento of those who had given their life up for them; a torch for those who had granted them the chance to live this moment.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjKrGTcDEI
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To live this happiness.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHniDYc42nk
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“Happy birthday, Itachi,” she whispers, and squeezes Sasuke’s hand. “I love you.”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLQDs7q1aj
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The words feel dusty, and unknown—but familiar.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqM5VtqJ2pL
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She knew them, once.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OrKe9PCJb
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She has known them all along.
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I'm sorry, Karin.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu58vUaML6W
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Were the last words her mother told her before her father ushered her out of the house and prompted her to run—run as far as she could, away from them—and forced her to leave them to die.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGKqnxfpIg
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To survive.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7kgTcyF1l
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Those words used to hunt Karin down in those nights when sleep refused to lend her its hand, the eerie walls of Orochimaru’s hideout caving in on her and Sasuke’s steady chakra being her only relief, her only shield.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtwXDocEFt
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Yet, what haunted her weren’t the words themselves, but their meaning; Karin had instinctively known then, just as clear as she knows now, that her mother was not apologizing for forcing her to forsake them and live on.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0654DwEli
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No, that was not it—that was not the kind of woman her mother had been.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZlO4qhUlX
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Instead, she had apologized for something else entirely.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmx23vVyBK
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For the unsaid.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQrnc1aAUn
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“What are you thinking about, Karin?”435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBySjdl4zPv
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Her lips curl upward as he takes the seat by her side, repentances fading away into the evening sky.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKl5tjDNtz
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“Nothing,” she replies, threading her fingers through his and gazing back to their children, who were laughing and running together through the backyard, a lively mixture of reds and blacks; the Uchiha and Uzumaki crests proudly etched on their backs, on their hearts.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcmGtDQlxN
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“Nothing at all.”
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"You will be fine."435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgLXM4AW6R
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And through the tears and the pain and the loneliness and the longing and the hardships and the fear, Karin should have known better.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhfSz9Jnns
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Her mother was always right.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbJ5L9xDIP
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end.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprkqJSgRi7
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I... seriously don't know where all this came from; my best guess: Uzumaki feelings. Uzumaki feelings everywhere. lol, I tried to play with the different facets of Karin, and how she grows into each one of them; plus SK, of course.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPn62mW67W
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The stuff I wrote here is not quite how I see things going, though; to do that I would have had to write about 395749574 vignettes per year, rather than only one lol so I went for rushed versions of a couple of scenarios I had thought about.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoi58KOBlH
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Oh and while I did not state it in the fic: every vignette takes place on Karin's birthday, so the baby was born on June 20, too.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4XwTQFjbk
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Anyway, hopefully, it wasn't that terrible! ♥435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9bXVIqrbf
tags: fanfic, karin, naruto, sasukarin, sasuke
i'm : 
cheerful
listening to: never let me go - florence + the machine
ns160.79.110.91da2
