[FANFIC - HBD, KARIN!] PÉRIODICITÉ (SK)
Title: périodicité519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xoCCxQqCL
By: Kanae (Goth-Punk88 @ ff.net)519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yOMTJzcFa
Rating: K+519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMAM2z9VEm
Word Count: 2.817519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMCMvnuuIt
Author's Notes: Made for our "Karin's birthday week" over at the Ice&Spice FC @ NF ♥ I... don't even know what this is, or where it came from, and it's possibly one of the cheesiest pieces I've written for SK. But I kind of regret nothing lol - Oh and that novice drawing at the top of the fic? yup, mines. guilty as charged orz519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIwwC6rWjq
Summary: June 20 has never been an ordinary day for one Uzumaki Karin.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wsFf6eqTK
périodicité (periodicity)519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiutRm60SyW
"recurrence at regular intervals of time."
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périodicité;519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOUarzzUbG
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by Kanae
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“Don’t look so down, darling. This is a great chance for you.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkgmX7Pdpy
“…Yeah… a great chance to make a fool of myself, you mean.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwJ4HqOYyg
A twinkling laugh, a delicate hand warmly lands over a girl’s head and—
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At twelve, there aren’t many things that Karin has done or that she wishes to do. She is just an ordinary girl from an ordinary family living in an ordinary village; there is nothing special about her, nothing out of the norm, nothing that makes her stand out—if one ignores her flagrant red hair, that is.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWkp7iApet
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But that is just what her father seems to have wanted to do all along.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xDDsDkclt
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You’re going out? Don’t forget to put your hood on, Karin, he would say, whenever Karin had to wander away from the immediate realms of their home. Why, papa? She used to ask when she was no more than a little girl; but that was a habit that slowly but surely withered and died as she began to grow up—as she started to grow aware enough to notice the wary air her father’s kind, wise red eyes acquired as the reminder left his lips.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HeV2jG94E
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As she grew older, Karin learned to recognize it for what it truly was: more a warning than a piece of advice; and she began to grow more jittery as result, more worn at the seams.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDAh2C9D0f
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Her red hair was her only outstanding trait, the only thing that made her different—without it, Karin may as well fade into the scenery.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUsuCJKrTv
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She may as well not exist.
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—and ruffles her hair.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3ayX2iDqe
“Now, now, don’t be like that. I have a good feeling about this, you know?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtxUum4gyi
“…What do you mean, mama?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPWH7z6yeE
A secretive smile highlighted by—
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At thirteen, Karin nearly dies.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQhmliBqKJ
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And then she is saved—saved by a striking boy with a rich voice and eyes that warm her up to the core the moment he smiles—at her, for her—and suddenly, Karin does not feel so ordinary anymore.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUS2A2YDG0x
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There is something different about you, her mother tells her once with a knowing smile, ever since you came back from Konoha.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0KynSTu8a
Karin jumps in her seat, awkward denial bubbling up in her throat and evaporating the moment her mother laughs, I like it. You look prettier, Karin.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgohHlqXf6
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She does not know about that—can’t see any difference as she looks at herself in the mirror, self-consciously pulling on some strands of red hair and squinting at her reflection.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlqd5FXeg0
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What she does know, though—what she can’t forget, is—519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOve7xpikX
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See ya, he had said, and it takes Karin a surprising amount of time to realize that, for the first time since she could remember, there was something she wanted.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooeSRaYpPq
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Wanted for herself; not for her parents, not for those she cares about. Something that was completely hers, in all its staggering intensity and youthful hope.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVYmcHkEGP
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See ya, he had said, and until then Karin had never quite known how good it felt to feel alive.
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—by amber eyes that seem to spark.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcap2gS34F
“Ara~ I wonder if I should tell you. It is a safely guarded secret, you see.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqeEcw8dOm
“I will keep it! I promise, I won’t tell anybody, mama!”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhHnjh8cqT
A chuckle, “Alright, alright! Since you insist, I'll tell you. It—”
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At fourteen, Karin breathes her last breath.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXugAiEDCo
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There is no blood—not hers—involved, nor are there any wounds—not physical ones—or any white walls or tunnels and gates of light—no light, only dark—only smoke—only the smell of burnt flesh and intest—519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgCtpBgb5c
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There is, however, anguish. An agony so great that Karin bit her lip until it bled, fisted her palms until her nails left permanent crescent-moon shaped scars in the contours of her skin, new batches added to already cracked life lines.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaZlZMSSbE
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There are silent, chocked sobs that made her throat burn and her sight blur until she has ran out of tears.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk5J1CpAXh
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And there is also horror; a burning, paralyzing sort of horror that reaches its peak and fades into a mute but perpetual tune stringing the chords of her being as she comes back and stares at the corpses of her father and mother, unrecognizable masses of ashes retching of burnt blood and bodily fluids that make a pile of vile crawl its way up to her tongue.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRCKrDjsOA
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And then, there is he—sidestepping the man with ominous dark chakra and extending a hand towards her, onyx eyes boring into her own with the same might with which the understanding in his chakra drove her horror away.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQHdegSyQL
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You staying here will amount to nothing, but you leaving just might, he says. Come, Karin, he calls.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBHU4dG9xR
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She takes his hand, and there is hope.
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“—It is said that one too many women in our family have found their fate in the lands of Konohagakure.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrahuBE2qV
“Their… fate?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZod0kkKsJ
Her voice curls up around the edges, as if it were a spell.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08I8H0cw16
“You will understand in—”
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At fifteen, Karin has shed her skin.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLO0nWaZyr
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There are now sharp edges where there used to be soft contours; angry frowns where there used to be kindness, smirks where there used to be smiles; buoyancy where there once was shame, barriers in what once were vast landscapes—and there are also scars.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBGgGL61s0
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Tell-tale scars of the Karin she used to be and new, revolting ones from the Karin she has become. She hides the latter and denies the former; pretends they’re long gone, never aching, never hurting anymore.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQd2njSTp0
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Yet, he sees them all. As if she wore them on her sleeve.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPDYPOQEN0
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“Say, Sasuke, since we’re alone how about we—”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLxD3JO4Y4
“I have to leave soon, Karin.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyu3pPjLWIr
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She puts her glasses back on and crosses her arms with a frown, moving away from him. “Why did you even bother coming, then?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoMgTtaRLZ
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Sasuke says nothing, then. He says nothing, and Karin straightens, her back suddenly assaulted by gooseflesh; could he—?519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBPnnQNgzQ
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Could he have possibly known? Known how before his unexpected arrival, Karin had been hounded by her memories. Seeing familiar faces in the nameless prisoners of the base, ghosts come back to haunt her and pull her down with them to the depths of hell—a hell made of nothing but flames and guilt of mistakes she is not sure she would take back, even if she could.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQ4AmdPHyo
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“…I had business here, is all.” His voice reaches out to her through the haze of her thoughts, pulling her back with nonchalant words that seemed devoid of any meaning.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HUBRpTbYD
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But as she turns and her eyes meet his, Karin sees.
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“—in due time, Karin.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbm6nHzVkf
“Still, mama… it just isn’t fair.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMAjMyYcV0
“What isn’t, dear?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnXxSYdZ2k
“… I wanted to spend my birthday with you and papa.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqt1qgybxhk
Her smile—
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At sixteen, Karin falls.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9b8fz9qTPq
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She falls from a great, great height at appalling speed; she hasn’t even had time to acknowledge the abysm before she has hit rock bottom, her goals and dreams spilling through her open chest and pooling on the ground alongside everything she knows.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzdqTHRaud
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Alongside everything she once held dear. Everyone she relied on. The one she trusted.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wy3xkQER8
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Now, there was no one left.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjqA9Iswj0
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No one left but the roaming, empty carcass of the boy she once loved; the boy who taught her what it felt like to be alive, the boy who gave her hope and helped her find meaning back when she had lost her way, the boy who helped her to be reborn from her ashes into someone better; someone stronger, someone capable of standing up for herself and for him, too. The boy who flared her will and her drive with a single touch, with a single look, with the simplest of words—519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTuf28b2X1
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I need you519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZ5ZZ3xPHz
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“So much for that,” Karin mutters to no one, her back pressed against the cold walls of a cell and her fingers absentmindedly tracing the ghost of the wound that had taken her heart out for good.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fQMJQk0fg
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And then it comes. An almost unnoticeable flicker—too subtle to be perceived, but too longed for to be ignored.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bFt5jfHsp
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No… I’ve had enough, Sasuke but her withered heart is trying to beat again, and it makes up her mind for her.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqW3SpYFds
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“…So much for this,” Karin murmurs to herself—and then she is on her feet again, her inner eye tracing his every move.
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—melts.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakEqohxwDx
“Cheer up, love. There will be many birthdays left for us to celebrate together.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIW5OgDXAi2
“… You promise?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfgShU4u4x
Her gaze softens.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoanuVNeSN
“I promise.”
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At seventeen, Karin kisses him.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIooarxy9IU
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She impulsively crashes her lips against his, her arms thrown around his neck in a desperate attempt to hold onto him—to anchor him down before his essence could have the chance to fade into pitch black darkness again, to feel him before he could have the chance to waste his life—her life, their future—chasing phantoms all the way to the death.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7A47CW1sY
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When the impromptu kiss ends, Karin sees him—the him she knows, the him she loves—flickering across his eyes for the briefest of moments, and she hears her name resounding in her ears even though he has not uttered a single sound.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJhNwSOHLx
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She smiles ruefully; trembling eyes boring into his—and then wordlessly lets him go.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJMoWpLtBy
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She has given him a reason, but the choice is his to make.
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“Ha, so it was about a boy, I knew it!”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIJXnTgGD8
“Shh, mama! I don’t want papa to hear! And… it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, anyway….”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDDoe6t0J0
Her mother has to hide her smile, “Actually, Karin… something tells me you just might.”
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At eighteen, Sasuke kisses her back.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjj9SAXyqHD
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It is not nearly as passionate as her—their—first kiss had been; there is no desperation, no adrenaline—but there is craving all the same, waving through the serenity threading over her through the gentle pressure of his fingertips over the nape of her neck, enveloping her like a makeshift cloak and warming her down to her very core.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFJS1JsEoV
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And Karin feels her very essence quiver under it—under the warmth and the way her heart seemed to want to leave her and jump into him instead, to claim the home it has always longed for; the home it has always fought for.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1N3zbipRGy
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The home it belonged to.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdPpm7d63e
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As he kisses her, sunrays clumsily dancing upon her lips, Karin feels like she would vaporize into him if Sasuke were to take a single breath.
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“How do you know?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIQFCvjOlY
“Because, that’s how fate works, Karin.”
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At nineteen, Karin smiles.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1xBGVvQGI
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“Itachi,” she says, and Sasuke looks up to her, startled. “The name… Itachi. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1dIKbRUYX
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Sasuke parts his lips—once, twice—but no sound comes out and soon enough he gives up altogether, lowering his eyes to stare at the bundle in his arms. It stares back at him, impossibly red eyes widened with innocent curiosity, pink tongue sticking out from underneath rosy lips.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJ7Y1NnO4Z
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“Are you sure, Karin?” he whispers after what seemed like an eternity, and Karin’s smile only widens.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K6ivJ8gQB
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“Yeah.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHtD8ezW10
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And as she sees them—as she sees Sasuke hold their baby as if he were holding the whole, wide world in the crook of his arms—Karin remembers her mother with such vivid clarity that she catches a breath of her perfume. The memory—the vision is bittersweet, and it makes Karin’s throat clog, because she recognizes that look.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WVPjiY6Ta
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It was the way her mother used to look at her father and her, eyes brimming with love and pride, unspoken but ever-present, never changing. Karin had not been able to understand it, then—519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqI6jBpKu9P
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But she did, now. And the understanding squeezed her heart in a way that was both, wonderful and terrible. To think it took her this long to finally understand, once and for all, what it all meant.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Hk61ijpwN
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To understand who her mother truly was, what her mother felt, what her mother desired for her—and how her mother hurt.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbZsEjNDLx
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You’re special, Karin. She would tell her sometimes, her eyes half-lidded and afflicted by thoughts she would never get the chance to say aloud. One day, you will realize that.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡji5oPRG97t
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She realized it, now; what it meant to love to her roots, what it meant to be a woman.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEm28LypQd
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An Uzumaki woman.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXgfcrHC8I
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“… Thank you, Karin.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHGtQ04Ggv
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“Idiot,” she shakes her head, weakly, traitorous tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill. “That... should be my line.”
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“They will be here soon,”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkxCyrfeDD
“Who will be here soon, mama?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgn61jU6ILr
“It could be anyone,” she finally replies, and her hold is steady as she combs through Karin’s hair, “we have long since lost any care for their identities, Karin. What matters is… what their presence means.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIus7uzAXz4
“And what is that?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsq3T1UnOii
Her silence provides the only answer; and Karin wishes it weren’t enough.
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At twenty, Karin celebrates her birthday for the first time in seven years.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3O2ePAotzF
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And it starts with a soft but firm admittance whispered as she caresses the baby’s nose, all too aware of the pleasant weight of Sasuke’s gaze, of the feelings swirling in his chakra.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7Ie9XdIXH
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Hearing them is unexpected, however—and her widened eyes snap to his only to find his lips beginning to curve, his own hand coming to caress her cheek in much the same way she was doing to their son.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBR21FJjif
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“W—what was that about?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEn8IcAu0zw
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She asks; some habits are hard to break, and her awkward way of fighting down her embarrassment seemed to be as persistent as ever.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEndmeE98bU
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Sasuke doesn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, his smile seems to morph into an amused smirk as he shrugs, noncommittally. “I just felt like saying it, is all.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBsrOB3kBa
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“Dumbass,” she mutters, hoping the darkness will hide the way her cheeks have warmed up like bonfires, so reminiscent of her prepubescent days when all she could do was a dream she would one day lay with Sasuke the way she does now. “...You didn't need to.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvYJupVsmS
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“I know, Karin,” and this time he is positively smiling, suddenly mutating back into the Sasuke that had stolen her heart so many years ago. “But it still felt good to say it.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAJJCsmxVp
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Karin says nothing in response; simply snuggles closer to him, eyes on the baby as he opens his eyes and blinks, his little hands curling and uncurling up into the air.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXvn26UN2p
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“He is going to be strong,” Sasuke assesses, and Karin would have mocked him by how ridiculous it was that he sounds that proud of Itachi when the baby hasn’t even said his first word yet, weren’t it because she felt the same way.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ty3hqUtdo
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He was going to be strong. A little piece of herself and Sasuke—a memento of those who had given their life up for them; a torch for those who had granted them the chance to live this moment.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhUOEQhO1Q
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To live this happiness.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrNaztQgbb
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“Happy birthday, Itachi,” she whispers, and squeezes Sasuke’s hand. “I love you.”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7dOAbLNB5
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The words feel dusty, and unknown—but familiar.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPUkhDOdGt
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She knew them, once.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkyNOCPyHX
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She has known them all along.
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I'm sorry, Karin.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMpcctRuwY
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Were the last words her mother told her before her father ushered her out of the house and prompted her to run—run as far as she could, away from them—and forced her to leave them to die.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoweApYH256
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To survive.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNaJSEevV0
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Those words used to hunt Karin down in those nights when sleep refused to lend her its hand, the eerie walls of Orochimaru’s hideout caving in on her and Sasuke’s steady chakra being her only relief, her only shield.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQ8KudAuU5
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Yet, what haunted her weren’t the words themselves, but their meaning; Karin had instinctively known then, just as clear as she knows now, that her mother was not apologizing for forcing her to forsake them and live on.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayGV95wBDO
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No, that was not it—that was not the kind of woman her mother had been.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lJnFehodu
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Instead, she had apologized for something else entirely.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOxMW6vR6O
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For the unsaid.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXafraz8iIS
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“What are you thinking about, Karin?”519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYrpj4dSFB
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Her lips curl upward as he takes the seat by her side, repentances fading away into the evening sky.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV31fiJREJU
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“Nothing,” she replies, threading her fingers through his and gazing back to their children, who were laughing and running together through the backyard, a lively mixture of reds and blacks; the Uchiha and Uzumaki crests proudly etched on their backs, on their hearts.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FDHqCftmq
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“Nothing at all.”
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"You will be fine."519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbVXmHsF9Y
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And through the tears and the pain and the loneliness and the longing and the hardships and the fear, Karin should have known better.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXJP93nmmz
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Her mother was always right.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNCDYuxhca
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end.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5lP3oqTEH
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I... seriously don't know where all this came from; my best guess: Uzumaki feelings. Uzumaki feelings everywhere. lol, I tried to play with the different facets of Karin, and how she grows into each one of them; plus SK, of course.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lXqQMmkCV
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The stuff I wrote here is not quite how I see things going, though; to do that I would have had to write about 395749574 vignettes per year, rather than only one lol so I went for rushed versions of a couple of scenarios I had thought about.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTtl1tD1oz
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Oh and while I did not state it in the fic: every vignette takes place on Karin's birthday, so the baby was born on June 20, too.519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4cQE4Jqlc
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Anyway, hopefully, it wasn't that terrible! ♥519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4gm9zebtc
tags: fanfic, karin, naruto, sasukarin, sasuke
i'm : 
cheerful
listening to: never let me go - florence + the machine
ns216.73.216.158da2
