The morning light seaps in through the curtains and I pull the blanket up my naked body covering my squeezed shut eyes, My brain had been distributed awake though. I could hear him snoring, I turned to side facing away from him.
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If I hadn't pull the stunt I'd be sleeping alone and he would be back in the morning or maybe Afternoon or I'd be waiting till the next day, there's no end to my restlessness, it's never known when he'd go or come back. If I'll wake up to see him sleeping soundly next to me or standing far covered in blood.
I exhale partially thankful and rest guilty for ruining everyone's day.
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My brain starts to imagine how my day would go as my eyes protest to open.
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If I meet hubert today what am I to say?
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I want to hurt him.
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Make him feel like I had been drowning.
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I can't be sweet and chippery while wanting to add salt to his wounds, but diabolically angelic tone will sound just as bitter and I'll get the desired reaction also he won't get the chance to make Me appear like a Jealous ex making a show, because I'm not.
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"What am I lacking.." I hear a deep hard-edged voice and just three fingers sliding down my hair from back. "..that he still has the power to hold your attention this long?.." It was a raspy guttural groan. He must've spent time thinking hard about this that he's bursting his emotional bubble no longer being able to hold himself. "..Are you really just repaying me? Is that it?" Very unexpected this was, this was the real him, the boy in him was voicing out his hurting heart. Something he never shows. He has never acknowledged but something must've triggered him to behave this way.
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But only when...I'm sleeping?
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He thinks I'm not listening? Is he that unsure?
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He's the most feared yet he is scared if I might do something upto his disliking,
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Is he scares I'll leave..?
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I know this feeling.
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He scutes closer and rest his arm heavy around my middle, holding me, The assurity crawls up my body and warms my insides.
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I squeeze my eyes, this time to hold back tears.
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I have to answer him. I swallow,
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"Callen," my voice came thin as a whisper erupt calling out to him.
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I turn and cup his face, the disbelief was only visible in his eyes, when they widen a fraction and he smouldered back again covering my hand under his own.
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"Goodmorning, baby." He says, I smile back. He must be wanting to believe I just woke up and didn't hear all that.
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I bore into his homey eyes and press my lips before I begin, "I have never received so much just for caring." He pulls me closer, I was now at his chest. His eyes narrow, searching my face for something, his brows furrowed, clearly showing his insecurity.
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"You made it so simple..when I was fighting all Alone, at times Sleep abandoned me, I was always two steps away from giving up and thinking back to join the queue of defeated people. Back then getting back at my cheater was only thing keeping me going on, Now, when I found you, the inspiration to welcome life became stronger."
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He doesn't know where all this is coming from, why I'm saying this all of a sudden, or maybe he caught on it and he doesn't want me to continue, doesn't want to face rejection.
"I cannot deny this.. I don't want to." I close my fist and he sprawls my fingers back to relax on his hard chest. I continue at his tender touch, "When I see you, I learn from you and one of those things I adapt from you is, I can't quit in the middle, undone. I'll fight till the end Alongside You. So, Believe in me."
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This time his eyes stay fix on mine, patient.
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"For as long as I can, I don't want to let go of you." My hand slides down to his shoulder as he hold loosens and he sits up and a tear roll down my cheek, I look away, he tries to wipe it away but I shake my head. "So please don't let go of me the same." I lock eyes with him.
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He melts, I can hear him breathe "Never.." he whispers as a challenge accepted and throws his arms around me knocking my breath out. "Never I'll let you go!" He says almost desperate and buries his head in my neck. The rush of blood warms my neck as he smells and sucks until it left a tinge of pain, his tongue travels up and his hands tie my leg around his waist, I bind myself roping my hands around his neck. Our lips connect and it was a war he won because he robbed me of my soul and I let him, it's the safest where I can be. He's on his way to conquer deepest parts of me and I of him.
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"I love you." He says before he drives his way in and a trail of tear leaves the corner of eye.
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I couldn't wipe, he had cuffed my hands in one of his so he licked it away, I seized to move of my own will, He controlled how he'd like to devour me, I could no longer concentrate on anything else, how I look or what should I be doing, time was no longer the concern, chanting his name like it's what keeping me alive, it came like breathing to me. It was his pantings and rippled worked up sweating back I focused on if my eyes left him and stay on the mirror reflecting him.
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He whisper dirty words and dreamy promises as he fills me with him.
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I was dripping of his warmth.
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I realised the sun is at zienth, hurriedly I made my way to the shower before kitchen, people have finally started hitting up the telephones and so the man was busy replying to those and removed his phone from silent.
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I tasted the soup and other dishes of the main course before setting up the table.
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He was back when I was done placing the plates and still on the phone in some different language.
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Just as he places the phone down it rings again, when he reads the caller ID he tsks must to his dismay he had to answer the call. It happened several times. Probably Because I consume his working time, he's not a man for dating or bulshiting around.
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I do the dishes and place everything on rack by the time he was free, I didn't get half the stuff because he was going around in different languages on different calls.
He comes from behind and hugs me tight, "Babe, I'm going to the company and I'll be back late, maybe tomorrow if everything piles up only for today." It actually surprised me, he never disclosed his business to me in the past.
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"Your boss angry?"
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"Nah, this time Secretary is angry from the boss." He laughs it off and kisses my forehead and the next minute he was gone.
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Now I remember last night I had more questions to go about but he distracted me. I've felt many times we haven't talked enough, there's more to dig about. And now when I see his back moving further away I want to grab his coat and make him stay, 'pleace, He dodges skillfully everytime I'm turning on him. I can't beat him.
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We're unequals on a whole different level, in many possible things. From his upbringing to his society and social standings and work. Nothing is common.
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We are one contrasting pair. I accept our relationship, and I'm compromising with a lot of nonsensical boundaries because at the end of the day What brings us together matters, His presence matters, not the charade and that's the reality.
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