《赤足的庭院》（2）94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kquzgpV4q
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxZe414MKQ
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AD1aG560s
00394Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSijTxIYC6n
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplZq1FEyvO
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7ly1GjOVl
我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFvsHhUJGR
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OCn92Wit6
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6lfYWYJUW
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3HfxoratH
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIa1X4ZSF4D
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NEj3ccrpe
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQauzmS7BU
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyB2S4QMzcm
但那不是指現在。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyQ2k5qdUd
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeRaf9Z627
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvXSFTfiKB
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZiYfmvYZZ
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkCAaVKNVN
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGq7o7oGKq
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡik9zrtikIh
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjzSEZW6BF
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcvw50lyPT
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbjlmKhtYe
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmz5Qvhl7lp
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkAANoq2vt
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0oMtdUNFy
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhskM6SXFI0
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIwNINTkGg
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaGVlNH2kw
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgqdKV4cDf
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcf4iwTy7g0
「李靜。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRxXaCwUsV
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h9Iss6bXT
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsOxS7VNQP
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwsheFLeMP
「⋯⋯」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwgtB9ZCIs
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VoLQziHRW
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4xqUmBEqh
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxiWZiyj8C
「哈⋯⋯」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyzNvHhEd7
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynOOXEdEtK
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ889xxn2QMK
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvU4kRLzHBc
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwHUV54oAR
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2z7dkF2qP
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwkiNo9fbS
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygApfZ0bpf
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48zTMAaYeq
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBm3he72jF4
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSZWmSwcy7
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YhDWU2Vko
我搖搖頭。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPjHtAUaYO
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ961O9XT63W
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQBGBmtDg4
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoFvXXFEFU
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5toxc8Gi7
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWw69DU7BH
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZFeAfgxMw
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytwlBwbEY2
「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ12WMSwboG
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoIRFdP9WV
「是的，所以⋯⋯」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TnEJLYqJZ
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqh1uLdvTS
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOYGJyPVYf
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiz1FWYcn0A
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZXUtGYS5e
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Abw16F9vf
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQvosRFYK1
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznBo058Vf8
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInj5yAiG5v
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdoUamlfaA
「怎麼可能。」她說。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZp6Sb7q0rH
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WVcAFittj
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43NUfigQrL
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4Etkl6Zuy
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcC8j5GVJ9f
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfkwONiaLf
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bZHcbOMGy
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhi4xeFeVfA
直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhrj541pbb
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsesgm6Q5u
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbLVv5rTfU
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIts0HcdzSO
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9f1zOgQsZ
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkthhXcq0X
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSoqDHhnHP
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NzsbIqax2
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBywcCwkYs
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ylzEQI39E
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvydZ1f7WxN
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡega8UJTKVL
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbfgwqc1ya
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYqnMSWkl1
00494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHM6PK4Cog
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEAQMOAoZN
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcqpGpKHWB
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ3qahNcsx
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeBQEZ56J4
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbPuGr450z
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6cyeYBePi
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCSQALz2oY
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDSMyAY6Iq
「嗯，非常美味。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyBDbQBuBV
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGb8IYo1o1v
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7E7m7SoDs3
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1d1bVUC1V
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBHIMssBbO
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUk3p7nNupG
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdWFdhaFAE
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hXxB9Ku8d
然後她讓我看了台灣附近。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFMuboaio7
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV32ra1MyBf
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZJ5uAYC5x
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4neZNPs2EJ
「嗯⋯⋯。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuTPftgamT
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA3de7FcU2
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBIHcqVbMX
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMSsudCgbI
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxD1ztYf3u
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsV3Z0IUcz
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3eQkWTos0
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3jYsp4RQs
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMbnFCpRCk
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEqoHyd7Iy
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0EcbNWAvM
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQflFxz8WZz
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZCvTIZXWo
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Vc1OLurOP
「什麼？」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarXJIZfzs1
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQisY9QMndN
她又問了一次。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9qHkJyJP3
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI5sYPV2m5
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV3dnbLVu8
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxeJzIKwcp
「什麼意思？」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBnVq025sh
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS4X3e74P0
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4Nkwj4Jf2
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMC6sHl571E
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjxWHer2Ot
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHP0B47zXRd
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWOFcMeGA2
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AUt4hPNyM
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzR2HOGemdG
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBbdujy4zH
「是嗎？」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3v9b66tqQw
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ah7ZQZ2FU
「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OmSeBbx7n
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YdmMAYwKt
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9dhP7VwZ9
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMKCofsqEr
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHGjxlui8G
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJreMNGWtB5
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFczsZEza7b
果然很像。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eSoxaqj61
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL23SlesMpM
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC94yKFVgh6
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkGwaErOMA
那是我第四次的離家出走。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpQ1naRyhm
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4tqRgqjTX
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsDzoNmeKh
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtefUGiytO
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WUfdDrjX7
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAQ3ukFeqw
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpgZZm5h5g
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxk6mVSw3LO
我喜歡文學。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7eqDnMQy4
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceMIAJDcUI
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXSBwYNvlO
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALQ9q6nJlE
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmj2fNwVqn
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZorZ6btloA
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVn72K5w4O
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tVROHM3HQ
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQf8NxwaVB3
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkpmbbWGnr
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaQWOF41Kf
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpmXuFGKMb
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15oRQSUSZ6
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStjojzLw9T
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lhW656jgv
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JAWV5hf1u
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueL2GHRRDr
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowX6OVYs7w
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9R8vSLstWN
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3eYM8oQAW
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPmvlU02JO
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkvpKyIt07
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMO4qUBPuo
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUOXCxOP8T
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCJEl1xEJV
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cR7fEF03J
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJfFRId6AE
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZf1dTfdrU
「嗯，你也是。」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3YvbzS74K
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsf5f8Ib2l1
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXXOamRERi
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAHprVvFzA
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsKsOoBclJ
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVOwhfzmC4
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLWdXXWOee
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNtK7wVdpn
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15AqO5vSy3
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jr60ULJMc
「嗯？我看看噢。」
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