《赤足的庭院》（2）95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41Fa4kCCft
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJJLKOe84x
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8M8wgGMjf
00395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hW2BKKCnA
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0ebi0ZrfZ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzY13ANdyq
我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPhhmphMoc
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfTVZKUbdF
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsktSdtoa8P
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXBmCdNYoU
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIvcg2negZ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ4X8R7P9x
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqG8Np981D
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vY5UjKUz6
但那不是指現在。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDUXKf8gCA
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolpgqDl8P9
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAv1A5A49V
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSayifuhan
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZpxyrZJRp
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYphXSJZk4
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWzo848jgC
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37DHq4haCO
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jxDRqjstN
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYWJHLkPi9
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeIQU4CSeJ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZ83CbTm4W
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIgXu82QiY
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UxZtrOQSB
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXAKDElisU
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjsayETkLI
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqjaY2s4hK
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzm9yuUhLy
「李靜。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCF5kowcVA
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OzxFxktkO
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpy7pEk81b
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJNbMY9eaq
「⋯⋯」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGo0MLfOQzE
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfHW5v0bZc
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPmVplB5I4
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvxqHwuQxi
「哈⋯⋯」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IiDjxywy7
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLw5ewraTM
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGJJJWkid9
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkkxT84hBB
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ492WDTakzf
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWjuA1jFb3
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT86HGBJhkx
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWFiKa1p3B
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofXOeLLsr7
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKHkF8Wgka
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBS8p1eqldZ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiPj1dxIOA
我搖搖頭。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEhGGCjRgB
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORdsprPf9L
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwn5slq0Ok
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkAfkBXqpX
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLznwcjOgNd
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbvQqK3Y8p
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDfL6UI7EA
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMf60UvpihV
「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUru8sKlR0
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsBnShw37C
「是的，所以⋯⋯」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNf3lUHLT6x
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQ1fcmK7wU
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbs6MFJIhCB
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYP35KoqPP
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WhyAd2olL
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡughFZ6wyHo
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sJHcKjEk4
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WaS1qbbh5
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21XQPK0QBa
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOnh9m7I2O
「怎麼可能。」她說。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYt5LjGiEUu
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbf7J9N3l9v
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgU29YwfHe
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0hRbR1Cv6
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡze7mN7lnDt
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2wDQJv72w
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3WJLg1NrO
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgTHNnQz7L
直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngJkjwPlUg
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eIhH024MN
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZV83PTHmBZ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgr7q2zLMe
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfeax317o4
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgQxeglR0v
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0QW4hszTU
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91ZYNmdlTB
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj61WrJCJ4
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZutdhBAbSu
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnd7ltpss23
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtYp0inhfd
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMorciwepMN
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJriazbkWSc
00495Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrvpiFfOvf
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkOMkeJFHO
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NVzRlNPdT
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqB0EPU98L
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HtIwFGcEQ
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGvCtasE4f
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzmCY8nVy6
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBv3VxMSLz
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZPl4WBAxo
「嗯，非常美味。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zvAGISZig
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5N27Rvgpi
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Hi2Tso3N1
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLRSymKEUx
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTDoYlhHO6
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHkjUbqRGb
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFt8yZdyzD8
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Wd0n4PU3s
然後她讓我看了台灣附近。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyklhuP1CH
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJBGDAvLuA
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NvcjWfEP0
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4iXay9K21
「嗯⋯⋯。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZATburyHrM
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9HXuEmQAO
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmhIBDVtHr
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ADYohM7e7
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lDXaTq1qk
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQbpjStkW7
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLy16TfSY0
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvgfkQSUT4
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctdZSdnFl3
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6fj32gxaS
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVy43wtGIV
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AlLAuuQkj
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkHsNfwRCr
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfiNKkriim
「什麼？」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFCpIQ29WF
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1Dzfa0ufG
她又問了一次。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXx4UyR7rO
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfFAIITMih
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbMe0MemdH
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN9kZxzrCJ
「什麼意思？」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgR4wM6CMt
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZFKbinRpL
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTctowpvn79
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXgp3CO3od
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqr84KsTzp
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBXbM04xRP
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyWJhfASv2
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CPcmF1QvW
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sEJr2EEkL
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaksuuVFTPj
「是嗎？」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhH1cSjuJs
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRGJnOCaav
「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBSl98iGxl
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6keXM0OyMh
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1hnth4C2q
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhLtwSPkKL
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAUiijf23z
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvJduOyU8j
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpg1XOmgL0y
果然很像。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF377fDfaL
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ReDe6ASJ2
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD6QkUwzLJ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOVqQWEWCb
那是我第四次的離家出走。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkG2wfcUGB
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqHMtyCppy
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBA7rb3azz
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWnYxHe5qi
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxVMbkB1Db
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRF6aFB6jOO
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNoE9rmu6h
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccikpJDLJY
我喜歡文學。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjidV0Z7DKq
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj14gLzU6Sy
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO87E2XHXBG
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoAsU7X6Yv
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ghGvZ5waq
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUX3gDBcZqx
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXdDOGc1IP
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqFewmSZzL
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jGm7uDYYf
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDfpuvGN6m
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3Y5UtVoBn
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVBX9C99yY
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMs5LK50Fd
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3DrHJTNp4
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLu0JkqMZF
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKNclxoO4C
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBaTKuLp5a
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0Gm790q5w
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjp8G6PmKNJ
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKCpoFos6r
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrECyhNamN
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmyjkLBtEJ
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡky733uTBPx
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUj67pzzYwJ
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnjN5uPyOc
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLzkzH2Lhu
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYA9iNysZO
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtOyM1u1ZO
「嗯，你也是。」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAa1xDp1sV
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJq6IAPomes
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA2vUUPOys
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY206EC1hDD
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rtNsOmK2l
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4w7A5QCWql
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKuTXrQ57w
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdNGPi02MP
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvdoZwD2Nk
95Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NLiTC8VRK
「嗯？我看看噢。」
Penana
search
Loginarrow_drop_down
Registerarrow_drop_down
