Denial.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXCmForvHv
It starts with denying. Denying that it every happened. Denying that it affected you. Denying that it still does.. You deny it. You deny it from your very soul. For you, it never happened. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcC9wCY1Rwz
"This is just a stage, Clara," the doctor said. "You'll get better."397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQZPzSxOB5
"I am better," I told him. "I'm completely fine. I don't sulk. I don't cry. Nothing's wrong with me. You know that."397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgjqQg4pa4
"Clara, you'll get better," he repeated.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYTqkJLgRs
"I'm fine," I stressed.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡti29TileYW
"You're in denial," he said before he walked away.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKE1ZwwDfLL
I turned my head and saw him walk out the door. I wondered when I'd get to walk out those doors and into the life I left behind at home.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAF8yHjRD76
"I'm fine," I whispered to myself.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3o3j6M8BZp
***397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGK5Gf4j8d
Anger.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5DKB8XjwS
When we were kids, the worst thing that happened to us was when I broke my brother's nintendo. He got angry and didn't talk to me for a day. Now that I'm older, I realized that the worst thing that could ever happen to me, happened when I lost my older brother. And now, he doesn't even get a chance to get angry. He gets the chance to not talk to me for my entire lifetime. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlt679JdcaT
Things are always easy when you're a kid.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NyvLFTieg
I didn't need to cry or sulk to show that I'm mourning. I didn't need to prove my grief to anyone. I knew I was grieving. I felt it all over till it numbed me from feeling anything else. Yes, I didn't want to talk about it. I wasn't ready. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1F0Vbo2YL
"You're ready today?" the doctor asked. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecL0SanANd
I didn't say a thing as I sat on my bed and stared out the window. The view never changed from this place. A tree, the branches of it swaying to the wind. And the clear water that lay just a few feet away.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIijroiMu1
"Clara?"397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexTpAZBm0Q
Coming here in this stupid institution was a mistake. But I needed it. I had had trouble accepting it. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiFetL72kh
"You want to talk about it?" he repeated.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstDgxqkliX
"When can I go home?" I asked.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Mr15DQx7X
He sighed. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQRmK6Y75o
"Well?"397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcmHWl865D
"Clara, you need to talk about what happened and how you are feeling before I can let you go," he answered.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WPT1V1V6m
I scoffed. "Talking doesn't change anything."397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25oZRcHXv4
"Talking helps."397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQma26kru3
"Then why don't you just talk and I listen?"397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn76cVYW5kA
"It doesn't work that way."397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMIv4uk8op
"Got that right," I remarked, turning towards him. "Nothing works the way you want it too. Nothing."- my voice rises- "You want things to be different. You want things to be fine, like the way it used to be. You want him alive. But. It. Just. Doesn't. Work. That. Way." 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIF7CqZYQ5
I waited for his response. I was scared that I might have been too harsh. Instead, he smiled. "That's an improvement, Clara."397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqD82hWyYL
I rolled my eyes and turned my attention towards the view. A bird was now sitting on the tree.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRxXDaXsJy
***397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00jYxjefPw
Depression.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUgR8zhRYX
It hurts. When you've lost someone, anyone- you hurt. You cry. It pains. It is something worse than death. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVI6CZaeudv
It's numbing. Once you've lost someone, there's nothing that can undo it. No pain will come close to this. Nothing can hurt more than this.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFOHK2M0Zk
It pains. It hurts. Make it stop.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkk2zRcCwe
"You're getting better," the doctor pointed out.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusjlUpqVak
"Sure as hell doesn't feel that way," I told him. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvXsbRSJRa
"You're getting there," he smiled. "You'll be out of here in no time."397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSNF3ykwZn
I flinched. Did I want to out of here? Did I want to leave this escape? Did I want to relive the reality?397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3I7eLukydT
I didn't want to. It would hurt too much. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFyjM52Qu0
And right now, I can't deal with this pain.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBN2DkA3xD
***397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CYdE9KfJk
Bargaining.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMmyXxmUcf
If there was something I could do to change what happened, I would do it before I could even blink an eye. I would do anything to get him back. They call this stage- the "Bargaining." I don't really get those who do.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1EWDxOrVG
They say it's the five stages of grief.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu9RNZf34E
You progress through each stage and in the end, everything's alright. But that's not really true, is it? Nothing will ever be alright. There will never come a time when you don't forget. The pain won't cease away. It won't decrease.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvejm1bDnza
Maybe you'll get strong. Maybe, you'll have the capacity to bear it.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRDBATI6nb
But now, you don't. I don't.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGewyTLNAX
So, why- why is it called Bargaining? What are you bargaining for when there is nothing to exchange. When there is nothing to bargain. Why bargain? Everything is done. It's all over. There's nothing you can do-397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZY3Cz7NHQo
***397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGtGzywSyL
Acceptance.397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyPH76V9Bw
There's nothing you can do to change it. 397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuYAEJpiEn
***397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tvytLchLE
