Denial.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF7CMWJ1sU
It starts with denying. Denying that it every happened. Denying that it affected you. Denying that it still does.. You deny it. You deny it from your very soul. For you, it never happened. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIX786KeLrk
"This is just a stage, Clara," the doctor said. "You'll get better."421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GZRK4Tefi
"I am better," I told him. "I'm completely fine. I don't sulk. I don't cry. Nothing's wrong with me. You know that."421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dsl3V1mHx
"Clara, you'll get better," he repeated.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GHUphsDwu
"I'm fine," I stressed.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1K2UDMc66y
"You're in denial," he said before he walked away.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIzWbwlcXe
I turned my head and saw him walk out the door. I wondered when I'd get to walk out those doors and into the life I left behind at home.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW20J1epYvT
"I'm fine," I whispered to myself.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvXX3neto6
***421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOC2dlkri5
Anger.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwHzwsphaq
When we were kids, the worst thing that happened to us was when I broke my brother's nintendo. He got angry and didn't talk to me for a day. Now that I'm older, I realized that the worst thing that could ever happen to me, happened when I lost my older brother. And now, he doesn't even get a chance to get angry. He gets the chance to not talk to me for my entire lifetime. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88nTxhFV4f
Things are always easy when you're a kid.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmstLOdl0kb
I didn't need to cry or sulk to show that I'm mourning. I didn't need to prove my grief to anyone. I knew I was grieving. I felt it all over till it numbed me from feeling anything else. Yes, I didn't want to talk about it. I wasn't ready. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeN98DVOiSh
"You're ready today?" the doctor asked. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwWrrXm1N6
I didn't say a thing as I sat on my bed and stared out the window. The view never changed from this place. A tree, the branches of it swaying to the wind. And the clear water that lay just a few feet away.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3yXu6N1tt
"Clara?"421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rXtjrAWTy
Coming here in this stupid institution was a mistake. But I needed it. I had had trouble accepting it. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16t5dWXKG8
"You want to talk about it?" he repeated.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQEKNjqwAp
"When can I go home?" I asked.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzTTy6OOhB
He sighed. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0tufTEZmP
"Well?"421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiB62B1djx7
"Clara, you need to talk about what happened and how you are feeling before I can let you go," he answered.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5oKgKNgII
I scoffed. "Talking doesn't change anything."421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZ5IrgFvDB
"Talking helps."421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7890PCijxB
"Then why don't you just talk and I listen?"421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJLI5z2WgF
"It doesn't work that way."421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwajIES1mk
"Got that right," I remarked, turning towards him. "Nothing works the way you want it too. Nothing."- my voice rises- "You want things to be different. You want things to be fine, like the way it used to be. You want him alive. But. It. Just. Doesn't. Work. That. Way." 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITQaq9KDhA
I waited for his response. I was scared that I might have been too harsh. Instead, he smiled. "That's an improvement, Clara."421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8B9qZ1iDo
I rolled my eyes and turned my attention towards the view. A bird was now sitting on the tree.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8jCIdcqCN
***421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6F7DAGYmj
Depression.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSSj02hyyT
It hurts. When you've lost someone, anyone- you hurt. You cry. It pains. It is something worse than death. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumSrE9pEZk
It's numbing. Once you've lost someone, there's nothing that can undo it. No pain will come close to this. Nothing can hurt more than this.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZjLi26Kum
It pains. It hurts. Make it stop.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu134QYPq9L
"You're getting better," the doctor pointed out.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRc1MQaK9e
"Sure as hell doesn't feel that way," I told him. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zVNZhkpC6
"You're getting there," he smiled. "You'll be out of here in no time."421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsFM6OwJaF
I flinched. Did I want to out of here? Did I want to leave this escape? Did I want to relive the reality?421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7s2HXJ1xK
I didn't want to. It would hurt too much. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxcoaWYWlY
And right now, I can't deal with this pain.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgYSx9AFSX
***421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaciwXeaaIJ
Bargaining.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJKJk0GV10
If there was something I could do to change what happened, I would do it before I could even blink an eye. I would do anything to get him back. They call this stage- the "Bargaining." I don't really get those who do.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKZ7Ssvibd
They say it's the five stages of grief.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTumI6BE6R
You progress through each stage and in the end, everything's alright. But that's not really true, is it? Nothing will ever be alright. There will never come a time when you don't forget. The pain won't cease away. It won't decrease.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx665M15rXU
Maybe you'll get strong. Maybe, you'll have the capacity to bear it.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSS2zxqpBqp
But now, you don't. I don't.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgObuBOaaGK
So, why- why is it called Bargaining? What are you bargaining for when there is nothing to exchange. When there is nothing to bargain. Why bargain? Everything is done. It's all over. There's nothing you can do-421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XHYJdTK4k
***421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqFTHP3dao
Acceptance.421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPREJZXTVX6
There's nothing you can do to change it. 421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPQbATKRU6
***421Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUX7H6BXBo9
