Oppa. She always hesitated to use that word. The intention was too confusing, she thought. How was he supposed to know if she meant “oppa” as in “older brother” or “oppa” as a term of respect for an older guy she knew… or “oppa” as in “honey…” “darling…” “sweetheart?”837Please respect copyright.PENANA6GPEMweucJ
It was unfair for a word to have so many meanings. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the only word in any language to have such nuances, but it was one word whose meaning should be absolutely clear and without question.837Please respect copyright.PENANAwvZTeHCvXm
He started walking to school and back home with her everyday. It wasn’t planned. He lived two floors above her. She had hurried out of her apartment one day, shouting exasperated agreements at whatever her mother was saying, only to come face-to-face with him on the stairs. That was when it started.837Please respect copyright.PENANAFlw3gWQckl
She would walk beside him, listening to him speak, trying to think of the right things to say. Her clammy fingers would find their way to the skirt of her school uniform and clutch at the fabric. She’d wipe her hands as subtly as she could, just in case he one day decided to hold her hand. She always wondered if he would have noticed her if they didn’t live in the same building.837Please respect copyright.PENANAdeAUkVSV1A
All the while, her mouth would rebel against her efforts to call him oppa. Honey. That was what she meant, and she wanted so much for him to know. How was it so easy for the other girls to call the boys oppa? They didn’t waste any effort doing it. She was the only one who seemed to have something broken inside her.837Please respect copyright.PENANAPOO6llqzfE
In a fit of desperation, she took to listening to Girl’s Generation’s Oh! on repeat. “Oppa, oppa, I’ll be down, down, down, down,” she sang with them. Maybe if she said it over and over, it would be easier to finally say it when it counted.837Please respect copyright.PENANAG6357OB5X7
And it seemed to work.837Please respect copyright.PENANAnh2f6AngFE
For the first time, she responded to his question with, “Yes, oppa.”837Please respect copyright.PENANAadue9ZX5RV
Her heart ballooned in her chest, sweet spring air that smelled of cherry blossoms filling her lungs. This was her confession. He had to finally know how she felt about him.837Please respect copyright.PENANA9a742gwh3B
He patted her head as though she were a child—or a puppy.837Please respect copyright.PENANAECMM7HnIqe
“I’m so glad you’re finally calling me oppa,” he said. “I think of you as a little sister too.”837Please respect copyright.PENANAsEO6E9rBHa
Oppa. She could imagine the deceptively innocent word pointing and laughing at her.837Please respect copyright.PENANAFyHlBTENGm
Boy, did she hate it.837Please respect copyright.PENANA3wYnyFQHjE