【45. Secret Angel 】805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsyYIwf1J4
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死亡是一種哲學。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSSHKojoZd
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不知哪個哲學家曾經說過：805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB47SMPHd4F
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如果世上沒有任何人再記得你，這就是最終極的死亡了。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsonGV02vH
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如果按照這個想法，我應該已經死咗十世。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexflN2iq9H
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但現實只是，我連尋死的勇氣都欠奉。又或者這樣說，喜歡余青玲的王傲風已經死了，如今的我徒具空殻，死與不死又有何分別？805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHyM0RtcwY
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接下來的好幾個星期，我都無地自容得不敢再面對她。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OgQw5DBqv
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昔日掛在臉上的笑容，如今已不再復見。雖然她嘴裡說著「我冇事」、「唔緊要」，每天都認真地上課、抄筆記，原本做社務的時間用來了上補習班，功課的水準不退反增⋯⋯但我看得出，她只是在裝堅強。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFv26ehmUC
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我知道自己已沒有資格待她好，但有一個人可以。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiStegenFh3
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「咦？咩嚟㗎？阿儀，係咪你㗎？」阿玲揉著眼睛，拿起了一張白卡紙。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd02QoRfHwP
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「吓？唔係啊⋯⋯」哈比人應道，一副心不在焉的樣子。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWgbfvsWCe
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阿玲皺一皺眉，看到了卡紙上面有一行行的小字，然後笑了一下。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPJklKhSF2
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這就足夠了。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXodK8iIrs
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之後數個星期，在放聖誕假前，都有一個人在她的桌上放了一張白卡紙，有時還會附上一排她最愛的朱古力，是那個人上化學堂時偷聽到的牌子，可惜那朱古力經常缺貨，他花掉了一整個下午的時間走遍全元朗，才能搶到這麼一排；買不到的時候，那個人就會用烏龍茶代替。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmfigQL6d3
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那個人不是想表現出自己的好，他只是想阿玲可以因為他自己所做的一點小事，而變得開心一點點。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pZFQSysnF
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後來我從哈比人口中得知，那個人會署名自己為 SA 。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTyp7ERMv5
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SA，Secret Angel ，祕密的守護天使。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLCXyjam8k
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自從SA 出現了之後，阿玲似乎很苦惱，明明班會沒有搞 Secret Angel ，怎麼會有這些白卡紙的出現？SA 的好意，她又應不應該收下呢？805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AMJKCi02g
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「阿風？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas4HoALTOp
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「嗯？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXcVRf1tXn
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「你知唔知邊個送呢啲嘢俾我㗎？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6I28x2P8mV
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「唔知喎⋯⋯又會有人咁無聊都有嘅哈哈⋯⋯」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDdYrBAzIt
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「咁⋯⋯如果你知道佢係邊個，你記得要話我知啊！佢係咁送嘢俾我都覺得有啲唔好意思⋯⋯」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLOIwHThXZ
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「哦⋯⋯好啊⋯⋯係呢，佢其實寫咗啲咩㗎？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtn3Iur3UXC
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「其實都冇咩嘅，佢成日都叫我加油同俾心機囉，仲話好鍾意我笑嘅樣，明明就好樣衰哈哈⋯⋯」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayF2bZQVxY
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「哦⋯⋯原來係咁⋯⋯」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICamGUpHB7
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北風正宣告聖誕節的來臨；天氣很冷，但依然無法影響聖誕聯歡會的熱鬧氣氛，全校上下都高興地慶祝著，已然忘記了陸運會時的不愉快事件。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJVHlg1olo
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當我回到班房的時候，其他同學已經將班房裝飾得美輪美奐，金色的鍛帶、七彩的聖誕小球、白板上的聖誕老人鹿車圖⋯⋯甚至還有人不知從哪裡弄來一棵聖誕樹，把它妥當地放在課室一隅。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzxsX8td9n
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「阿玲佢今日冇返？」我隨口抓了身旁的同學問道。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiP0pcK5Wg
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「吓？阿玲病咗喎，今朝佢同我講佢病到起唔到身㖭，」他擺出一副「乜你唔知咩」的樣子。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxW9PMVQRk
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「吓⋯⋯聖誕聯歡會先嚟病？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdpg1eXA0v
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「係囉⋯⋯你係關心人嘅就探下人啦！」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0HwQyAuo1
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「唔⋯⋯睇下點先喇。」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoRA6etuIF
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在洋溢歡樂氣氛的班房裡，一班男生正在猜拳，決定哪個勇者吃下某女生所造的綠色流心地獄薄荷朱古力。不幸的Ivan 猜輸了，只好在其他男人起鬨後吞下朱古力，才一嚥下喉嚨，他的臉便𣊬間變青，差點昏倒。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cFt7uwMuF
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我陪笑了幾下之後，大家便一起吃比薩、飲汽水、交換禮物⋯⋯反正就是派對的例行公事，然後主席忽然舉手，提議我們影一張班相。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqG0uxLRxX
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女生在前排互相比高，男生在後排嬉笑怒罵，老師坐在中間沒他們好氣。整個畫面的色彩是何等斑爛好看，彷佛是用青春畫出來的油彩畫，美得連彩虹也羨慕。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qfwTZ2yL8
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而我是一幅黑白色的水墨畫。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nDmqcHEx6
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我不禁想起在中三最後的上課日，同樣有人不知何時準備了三角架和專業相機，興高采烈地提議影班相。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TBY36fZI7
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「好啊！」熱情的阿玲第一個衝了出去，甚至還指揮大家推開礙事的桌子椅子。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiE7xYJAs4
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「嚟！高嘅企前面，更高嘅企後面！」阿玲振臂高呼，召集大家來到白板前方。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59jsApIfxB
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於是全班三十多人便壓縮只有班房三分之一的空間，一時之間摩肩接踵，大家都能感受到彼此的鼻息。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprbnICrRhq
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班主任提著椅子，坐在中間位置，旁邊便是阿玲。幸好我個子不高，一早就被人拉到前排，湊巧就站在阿玲旁邊。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdxqdSheto
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她身上傳來迷人的花香，香得令我的心跳漏了一拍，讓我不禁懷疑，這氣味是會令人上癮的。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNwCd7gfN9
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正當我仍陶醉於那香氣的時候，相機忽然發出頻密的閃光。猶在夢中的我連忙擠出一個笑容，但快門早已掠下我的倉皇。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡio8kGfkiDe
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「王、王傲風，你、你做咩⋯⋯喊啊？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYjBAVhr0O
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「吓？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXHqmTCtAm
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拿著相機的Ivan 呆呆地看著我，一副不知所措的樣子。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GfWmFMDPv
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我摸一摸自己的臉，竟然是濕潤的，眼眶不知何時已熱了起來，淚水如決堤般潸潸落下。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPLz9zOn2v
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我的淚容很快就引起了同學和班主任的注意，周圍漸漸多了交頭接耳的聲音。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2K6N5SOChw
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「你做咩啊？唔好喊啦。」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutWYSCN3rW
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「要唔要紙巾？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkxwdOF03B
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「哎啊⋯⋯講下發生咗咩事啦！」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYumX2beCY
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此時班主任向我遞出了一張紙巾，可我已控制不住自己，一手撥開了她的手，拿起了書包衝出班房，大叫：「唔好意思！我想早退！」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQaWHGDiBv
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHXjWlCFo2
我不管撞跌了多少枱櫈，只管一昧向前衝，淚水不斷往後灑著，黑壓壓的一大片悶在心頭，想吐卻吐不出來。我的雙腿就像著了火，唯有一直向前跑，才能舒服一點點。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjK0DsJ4rn
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkKRDWhbh7
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCHDewDMLi
原來無論我多麼努力多麼渴望多麼壓抑，我都沒辦法放下她。愈是想忘記她，她就愈常出現在我的腦海裡，就像我在中學裡的所有回憶，都有著她的痕跡，而且永不磨滅。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQWIj6g77e
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnm3Pgxhde6
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bcQlaMSbI
我隨即跳上了一架巴士，竭力抑壓著想哭的衝動，不想任何人見到我的窘態。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWV5Sdlh2d
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vREh7ZTRY
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHNJbLvPrz
然後，不知是緣分所繫，抑或是命運的安排，我隨意下車的地方竟就是阿玲所住的屋宛。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJgECkyTlW
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DRDbKZD5i
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBt7hLOexA2
我猶豫了片刻，結果還是打開了大門。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjS7YHFPT4
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hXV5sr8Cr
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixuyz2Cq8E
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxvyWtl9ap
世界是涼薄的，連大堂的冷氣都開得特別大，等待升降機的時間也特別長。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAIezR5WxY
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡer7iJsPjca
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhH1ppYgmYe
隨著金屬版上顯示的數字不斷的跳動增加，我的腦袋也漸漸變得混沌、緊張。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJG2tjHH0aa
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3MRWDlRCR
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsscAd35GST
我記得⋯⋯佢係住呢個單位。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzWWPGUX85
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLu7A29qMA
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGLX6vBC7C
㩒響門鐘，睇下佢有冇事就走啦⋯⋯805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr21POJf5l9
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt6FfRKExt
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaJJ8KS3yO
我這樣想著，手指卻凝在了門鐘前兩公分的位置動彈不得。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wFCDWDk0J
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM96QEEB5Fb
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXgTbxuuRs
我做不到。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2lFCVibpc
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWmgtfRA7l
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFNMriHtIC
我說不出原因，但我就是做不到，我無法鼓起勇氣面對她。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQL1tXEdVx
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkmXCAnORy
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9ZeZXOqgI
於是我收回按鈴的手，轉而往書包裡探，然後拿出了一枝筆和一張白卡紙。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP92xJLysA5
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzpaiycIOV
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiaNbMHZHt
//805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnlgES50OY
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXey4G217s
親愛的阿玲：805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxJF7ZoK9i
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjG40vQRNM
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oM7D2677w
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfi2MkalB8X
估唔到咁健康嘅你竟然病咗！仲冇得嚟聖誕聯歡 T.T 不過唔緊要啦！我哋玩得好開心啊！你都要快啲好返知唔知！我哋下學期再見啦 ！^_^ 805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3A6GUy16T8
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzncnk35JKb
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB7ShFKkob
S.A. 805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkNDeM8gqJ
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLaFRkUMB6
//805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUn5XbXFBb
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAXSye2U83
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO8tx8r2bL
寫完之後，我覺得好像還漏了些甚麼，於是再最後加上了一句：805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4RqhOha4J
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnI2hbMOV5e
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.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHytgyKyck
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PU1n7c3YY
P.S. I love you805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArsx3xDSA4
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfO8KUjG9t
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8w5pbNNKWR
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ubCPeveU9
我把白卡紙攝進門縫，無聲地離開。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2K8IM43A2i
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzpcj3WeKs
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoGmux1lOW
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOQGKrgxO9
原來我真的是想走的，可是走到樓下時，卻有種沒有由的依依不捨。我站在原地看著阿玲的單位，總覺得她會探出頭來跟我say hi。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwGKZXKFA9
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNa8oI5aPQx
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WuUVml6zu
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPWcgcAoHL
最後當然沒有。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9vfq4DKkW
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0oE1032Hk
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxgyLcamPV
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRUIUvTYPQ
我苦笑了一下，跳上了回家的巴士，撥了一通電話。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy0NaDTUbj
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFFxqOJ3rH
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLe1InbSIc
「喂？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ2nNdB07Q
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYD2Kk5xLN
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH8haFOdDI
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoUOBbFiTJ
「咩事啊，阿哥？」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCLIeTl8bI
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLhlvWnoTO
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ972HJhxeR2
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4qCMjFK2n
「你夜晚得唔得閑啊，我唔開心。」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZ5LqOiuNB
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTRRW8iFxf
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PPnk4QiRR
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07jkaK0ZhN
「好、好啊⋯⋯」805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBK5w7pv61f
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzkge2QEEd
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajULhgpNA9
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjc3LGOX1i
掛斷電話之後，我漫無目的地望向窗邊外的街道。巴士剛好來到了元朗的舊區，陳舊的大廈外牆有如煙燻的痕跡，老店的招牌銹跡斑駁，搖搖欲墜的燈牌上站著幾隻小鳥。眾所周知，這裡是眾多男性放班後的尋歡之地，但正值下午時份，粉色的螢光燈還未是時候亮起。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqX19cvQw2
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yqBKbjQ0d
.805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvovmY888N
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGeuw8Kn4O
我的視線隨著車廂左搖右擺而晃動，沒有看清掠過的街景，卻捕捉到一個眼熟的身影，正與身旁的男人一起走進一棟大廈。805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9geFwp5zWi
805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxhAqegN0R
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805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDUnWkre29
是⋯⋯老媽？805Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMprCYPwqp2
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