【45. Secret Angel 】838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUa3sIm4lT
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0hMwoKWKC
死亡是一種哲學。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2VPFn1BEF
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不知哪個哲學家曾經說過：838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgc2xzZUkG
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BMicovI2y
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOf4suBKorl
如果世上沒有任何人再記得你，這就是最終極的死亡了。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0Flg9VZeU
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如果按照這個想法，我應該已經死咗十世。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAGOc3X3FI
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但現實只是，我連尋死的勇氣都欠奉。又或者這樣說，喜歡余青玲的王傲風已經死了，如今的我徒具空殻，死與不死又有何分別？838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZCsJbCkP9
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJVOEeJ0ff
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKw975lhy4H
接下來的好幾個星期，我都無地自容得不敢再面對她。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WB9Qd3SCi
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4GxljhVju
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1QcR206la
昔日掛在臉上的笑容，如今已不再復見。雖然她嘴裡說著「我冇事」、「唔緊要」，每天都認真地上課、抄筆記，原本做社務的時間用來了上補習班，功課的水準不退反增⋯⋯但我看得出，她只是在裝堅強。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVy41ToEOJ
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWg0EkNWZ9
我知道自己已沒有資格待她好，但有一個人可以。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMK9BdZXeXb
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbY4eWvLHfC
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWmbxrbX8J
「咦？咩嚟㗎？阿儀，係咪你㗎？」阿玲揉著眼睛，拿起了一張白卡紙。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6tBsb8PYr
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwFXpzToON
「吓？唔係啊⋯⋯」哈比人應道，一副心不在焉的樣子。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzB7THBnteC
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阿玲皺一皺眉，看到了卡紙上面有一行行的小字，然後笑了一下。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1nDZ2O4wB
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這就足夠了。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmS5WaQWU8
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lA6D0erwk
之後數個星期，在放聖誕假前，都有一個人在她的桌上放了一張白卡紙，有時還會附上一排她最愛的朱古力，是那個人上化學堂時偷聽到的牌子，可惜那朱古力經常缺貨，他花掉了一整個下午的時間走遍全元朗，才能搶到這麼一排；買不到的時候，那個人就會用烏龍茶代替。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVC2Galwtn
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavrwlgc58l
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那個人不是想表現出自己的好，他只是想阿玲可以因為他自己所做的一點小事，而變得開心一點點。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnjKwX5Nc6
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後來我從哈比人口中得知，那個人會署名自己為 SA 。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdqB7fWvd3
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIvH6SVqsi
SA，Secret Angel ，祕密的守護天使。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngqNeAZt0Q
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTM7TX66ESw
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzR7dhtTay
自從SA 出現了之後，阿玲似乎很苦惱，明明班會沒有搞 Secret Angel ，怎麼會有這些白卡紙的出現？SA 的好意，她又應不應該收下呢？838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vnIkWnKg7
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoCnsHNEA7
「阿風？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImILnMiiuq
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgByyRK2lUj
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3H8BXJG7p
「嗯？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6u6dHb6l6P
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「你知唔知邊個送呢啲嘢俾我㗎？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5qYcneySw
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl7IHLZTAD
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「唔知喎⋯⋯又會有人咁無聊都有嘅哈哈⋯⋯」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCt3I38RXWM
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「咁⋯⋯如果你知道佢係邊個，你記得要話我知啊！佢係咁送嘢俾我都覺得有啲唔好意思⋯⋯」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXtl0pX3iS
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jE0Q79c7A
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwaEQrj8sp
「哦⋯⋯好啊⋯⋯係呢，佢其實寫咗啲咩㗎？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFUZRWQInT
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjBlVzdbr1
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWx9L21pXBN
「其實都冇咩嘅，佢成日都叫我加油同俾心機囉，仲話好鍾意我笑嘅樣，明明就好樣衰哈哈⋯⋯」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ABV8cm8ic
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kwzfWAxNo
「哦⋯⋯原來係咁⋯⋯」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OVQ3pEsBl
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzamK0LXtU
北風正宣告聖誕節的來臨；天氣很冷，但依然無法影響聖誕聯歡會的熱鬧氣氛，全校上下都高興地慶祝著，已然忘記了陸運會時的不愉快事件。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzS4PVaarwf
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj61SNWxhdi
當我回到班房的時候，其他同學已經將班房裝飾得美輪美奐，金色的鍛帶、七彩的聖誕小球、白板上的聖誕老人鹿車圖⋯⋯甚至還有人不知從哪裡弄來一棵聖誕樹，把它妥當地放在課室一隅。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhZnJ4ttqE
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「阿玲佢今日冇返？」我隨口抓了身旁的同學問道。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzhtGzPVRa
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「吓？阿玲病咗喎，今朝佢同我講佢病到起唔到身㖭，」他擺出一副「乜你唔知咩」的樣子。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8X3Dui0Tm
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「吓⋯⋯聖誕聯歡會先嚟病？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡum70YRDoa7
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「係囉⋯⋯你係關心人嘅就探下人啦！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYK0rrHBZaP
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「唔⋯⋯睇下點先喇。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ91taWaz3v
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在洋溢歡樂氣氛的班房裡，一班男生正在猜拳，決定哪個勇者吃下某女生所造的綠色流心地獄薄荷朱古力。不幸的Ivan 猜輸了，只好在其他男人起鬨後吞下朱古力，才一嚥下喉嚨，他的臉便𣊬間變青，差點昏倒。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0qHbg9Gmz
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我陪笑了幾下之後，大家便一起吃比薩、飲汽水、交換禮物⋯⋯反正就是派對的例行公事，然後主席忽然舉手，提議我們影一張班相。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoyYMJsuJI
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女生在前排互相比高，男生在後排嬉笑怒罵，老師坐在中間沒他們好氣。整個畫面的色彩是何等斑爛好看，彷佛是用青春畫出來的油彩畫，美得連彩虹也羨慕。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosikj7ZoTW
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而我是一幅黑白色的水墨畫。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvBkb3nzEF
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我不禁想起在中三最後的上課日，同樣有人不知何時準備了三角架和專業相機，興高采烈地提議影班相。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3X0sJXg4t
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9csecT06t
「好啊！」熱情的阿玲第一個衝了出去，甚至還指揮大家推開礙事的桌子椅子。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zNcXmT8W6
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「嚟！高嘅企前面，更高嘅企後面！」阿玲振臂高呼，召集大家來到白板前方。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIo2BGV92TN
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBt7NYyawMK
於是全班三十多人便壓縮只有班房三分之一的空間，一時之間摩肩接踵，大家都能感受到彼此的鼻息。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruJQl6wUH8
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wrOzmLqSd
班主任提著椅子，坐在中間位置，旁邊便是阿玲。幸好我個子不高，一早就被人拉到前排，湊巧就站在阿玲旁邊。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptLVWqkHjs
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhpoRf4KF2
她身上傳來迷人的花香，香得令我的心跳漏了一拍，讓我不禁懷疑，這氣味是會令人上癮的。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRc31GuDnf2
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIBYcve8UX
正當我仍陶醉於那香氣的時候，相機忽然發出頻密的閃光。猶在夢中的我連忙擠出一個笑容，但快門早已掠下我的倉皇。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXJWvPQApc
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「王、王傲風，你、你做咩⋯⋯喊啊？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXM26jkhYhH
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「吓？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQyhGivcRv
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拿著相機的Ivan 呆呆地看著我，一副不知所措的樣子。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vC6b0WTzo
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth0PbIScIi
我摸一摸自己的臉，竟然是濕潤的，眼眶不知何時已熱了起來，淚水如決堤般潸潸落下。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWRk099m97
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uoBNqZVyu
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxVSZD6Yol
我的淚容很快就引起了同學和班主任的注意，周圍漸漸多了交頭接耳的聲音。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64l38UNM0P
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwvjjSPMQ1
「你做咩啊？唔好喊啦。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yhFuYNCP8
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49SDcOK1j1
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMkfGsnnva
「要唔要紙巾？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCpcAWqcqN
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「哎啊⋯⋯講下發生咗咩事啦！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ918YN7RUpm
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此時班主任向我遞出了一張紙巾，可我已控制不住自己，一手撥開了她的手，拿起了書包衝出班房，大叫：「唔好意思！我想早退！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XauGuu3CH
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42qTVpFWL4
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我不管撞跌了多少枱櫈，只管一昧向前衝，淚水不斷往後灑著，黑壓壓的一大片悶在心頭，想吐卻吐不出來。我的雙腿就像著了火，唯有一直向前跑，才能舒服一點點。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK33BjU4lNm
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5DRD1mQcY
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原來無論我多麼努力多麼渴望多麼壓抑，我都沒辦法放下她。愈是想忘記她，她就愈常出現在我的腦海裡，就像我在中學裡的所有回憶，都有著她的痕跡，而且永不磨滅。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzUApeKeac
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXNu6chiFr
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vTi0FOlbd
我隨即跳上了一架巴士，竭力抑壓著想哭的衝動，不想任何人見到我的窘態。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz1l7bpzU7
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxW0zQRhbOc
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTAM6rl7Ao
然後，不知是緣分所繫，抑或是命運的安排，我隨意下車的地方竟就是阿玲所住的屋宛。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqTHRaorJM
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecMSSOkG4D
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlaCAgfZF1
我猶豫了片刻，結果還是打開了大門。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrGZOHuNqI
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PSlT9URgf
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSGQzXNCCy
世界是涼薄的，連大堂的冷氣都開得特別大，等待升降機的時間也特別長。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC2RTOOp3l
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7jgyN2yvj
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgZPZONJWw
隨著金屬版上顯示的數字不斷的跳動增加，我的腦袋也漸漸變得混沌、緊張。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUM6QiJH1d
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxu6yU4jGn
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsofVo4eaQ2
我記得⋯⋯佢係住呢個單位。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1JILWWvqP
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㩒響門鐘，睇下佢有冇事就走啦⋯⋯838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx74HpPOQv
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuPLgycaFa
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我這樣想著，手指卻凝在了門鐘前兩公分的位置動彈不得。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjp3JG6bolE
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我做不到。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bDFdQ4whR
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h5Z8Ckwx4
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我說不出原因，但我就是做不到，我無法鼓起勇氣面對她。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcxirpSkbW
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBhw34ryvm
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於是我收回按鈴的手，轉而往書包裡探，然後拿出了一枝筆和一張白卡紙。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZqIrKZLo8
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBWJzvDbD5
//838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcnHsvAPl7
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MsTeTF59Y
親愛的阿玲：838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztlVXStiMG
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPvw8tpLeT
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8SNZHTckO
估唔到咁健康嘅你竟然病咗！仲冇得嚟聖誕聯歡 T.T 不過唔緊要啦！我哋玩得好開心啊！你都要快啲好返知唔知！我哋下學期再見啦 ！^_^ 838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9N1qTtUa4
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMby5u87ZpP
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S.A. 838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjbuafdemL
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1bRm8gwDl
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39yVRg8XPp
寫完之後，我覺得好像還漏了些甚麼，於是再最後加上了一句：838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ548wH0EhOI
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahguSGFOEQ
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P.S. I love you838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdk6yiBHZu
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPhjgVQfDv
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我把白卡紙攝進門縫，無聲地離開。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9toEAMn3Q7
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPPH6bTBJ3
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyIbyxA6M9
原來我真的是想走的，可是走到樓下時，卻有種沒有由的依依不捨。我站在原地看著阿玲的單位，總覺得她會探出頭來跟我say hi。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabZXK7z2Yi
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最後當然沒有。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4eSQPnKbZ
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我苦笑了一下，跳上了回家的巴士，撥了一通電話。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtk4wigUJJ
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「喂？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgA5YJtTdXJ
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「咩事啊，阿哥？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3jYX2QvyF
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「你夜晚得唔得閑啊，我唔開心。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqlIbAF2ex
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBccSbHodoP
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「好、好啊⋯⋯」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEh6aRZzZ3
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBmunqBSE1
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNl982kqdO4
掛斷電話之後，我漫無目的地望向窗邊外的街道。巴士剛好來到了元朗的舊區，陳舊的大廈外牆有如煙燻的痕跡，老店的招牌銹跡斑駁，搖搖欲墜的燈牌上站著幾隻小鳥。眾所周知，這裡是眾多男性放班後的尋歡之地，但正值下午時份，粉色的螢光燈還未是時候亮起。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPXVOma8Wa
838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtwBpwR7iB
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838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReuFd2X0pg
我的視線隨著車廂左搖右擺而晃動，沒有看清掠過的街景，卻捕捉到一個眼熟的身影，正與身旁的男人一起走進一棟大廈。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSod7zSZnUB
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是⋯⋯老媽？838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXzAPH3GBX
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