"I'm so glad that you've decided to give our relationship a second chance," my mother gushes as I sit before her in the dimly lit living room. I've decided to make good on my promise with Kwamé, despite the high level of discomfort that I feel when in a room alone with this woman. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxIj1O0ckV
"I don't want to hate you anymore, and I'm trying to be a good example to Kwamé." When her eyebrows come together in confusion, I further explain the situation.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyUrTwV3rc
"I want him to forgive himself."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsYAC4ioHM
"I wouldn't put much faith into that," she replies warily, as if it is not possible. This concerns me, seeing that she knows him much better than I do. So why would he promise... 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwK4JjipMLn
"Why?" I ask her, eager to understand. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDq7z5Kjv7r
"Because I've been trying to get him to do that for years," she informs me in a grave voice. "He's as stubborn as an ass. Nothing will get him to let that go."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWmMVFueyQ
"Well, we made a pact." She looks at me as if the notion of a pact to change his mind is utterly idiotic. "Anyway," I say, changing the subject before I get upset with him, "I'm here now. So how about you elaborate on that tale you were telling me?"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSkVluLRFp
Her face shuts down as she desperately tries to hide her emotions. Always hiding something from me. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsM0GYGEBJ4
"I told you a lot. Honestly, what else could you want to know? And aren't you curious about unlocking your powers?"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsndWhA6Nl
No, I'm actually much more concerned with the truth. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5pjVYd8UG
"Stop trying to change the subject," I demand. "I want to know more about this person who wanted me when I was a baby." I almost laugh out loud, remembering the ridiculous, pathetic excuse of an origin story that she fed me the last time we spoke. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynxsCdsZe7
"She's evil and she's in the past." 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwC5q043asx
Past my ass. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgkdrfR1pR
I stomp my foot on the ground and then throw myself further back into the couch, like a small child. Something caused by me not getting what I want, because I'm so used to getting what I want. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlaJRqodzM
"Why are you still afraid of her?" I demand. "What is she gonna do? Come and kill you?"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRLJFFtevJ
"She might," my mother responds under her breath. I don't think that I was meant to hear that.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXqFfEMwcZ
"So she's not in the past, then?" I challenge. I refuse to let this go. I have every right to know the truth. And the way she's contradicting herself means that she's obviously lying about something. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdLFgZGmLe
"Yes, she is. I just don't think—"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNOgqEhurg
"That I'm ready for it?" I ask. I swear, this us getting very old, very quickly. "Because I assure you, I am. I don't think that there's anything that you could tell me—"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWFdXQyi8u
"She was a River Mumma," my mother rushed out, only to look as if she regrets it right after. Regrets telling me the truth. On the inside, I'm shaking my head. I am surprised (I thought that she would be human), but I'm not freaking out like last time. I'm not surprised that River Mummas exist. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYY6J6va3J
River Mummas are mythical — well, apparently not so mythical after all — creatures that live in Jamaica's rivers. If I were to compare them to another creature, I'd go with the siren. They often sit on rocks and comb their hair with a golden comb. They say that if you see one, you'll fall into a magical trance and that she'll drag you into the river. Some say that she'll force you to live with her for eternity.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1wrHtPrlD
There is also the legend of a golden table that they can use to lure the greedy.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3KWBQCjtt
"The golden table—"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2EZa6WuuD
"Isn't a myth. It's real. Is that really the first thought that comes to your mind? I tell you that you were almost abducted by a River Mumma and you ask about a Golden Table?" She's not trying to goad me into asking questions — I know that she doesn't want to talk about this — but I think she's just incapable of keeping her surprise to herself. I'd be surprised, too. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y1Ufb8iAx
I sit and think of a better question to ask her, but one that she won't refuse to answer. If she does that again I might jump her. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8k5L6Rz6C
"Um... if I'm human, how would she have gotten me?" What did she plan on doing? 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu0cEv6Pb3
"Turn you into one." I'm beginning to realise that the answers to a lot of my questions are far simpler than I originally thought. I still have to ask, though. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeefmhhrCO
"And our rivers aren't exactly wide or long," I continue. "They aren't all interconnected either. How come there aren't any news reports of sightings?"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrLknx33ml
"We have underground rivers. Remember that Black River especially is deep. And they know how to not be seen." That's a good point. "Additionally, they're water spirits. They are connected to the rivers of Jamaica. They can teleport." Still, in such a tiny country, I would have expected someone to have seen one in recent history. I've heard lots of stories about Rolling Calves, but no one has ever told me that they, or someone they know has seen a River Mumma.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoIcFpACjb
I sit and think of anything else that I would like to know about in this situation.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHl4b5GWFvo
"What deal did you have with her?" This is important. This, I have to know., but I also know that there's a possibility of her clamping up. Therefore, it's no surprise that as soon as the words leave my mouth, her face screws up.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkoMDZFk3P
"Uh..."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjOPwaLe2j
"You have to tell me that. It's important." My voice sounds demanding, and I can see that she registers it on her face. She looks at me uncomfortably with the expression of someone who badly wants to shit. I would laugh if I weren't so on edge. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiBQ79J6GI
"It's complicated," she responds lamely. I have to fight myself to not roll my eyes at her. They do move, though, just a tad. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMfAQzCh3A
"That's the worst excuse in the history of life. You're starting to sound like Kwamé." When her face stays the same, I decide to let it go. "It's complicated" should probably be the new slogan for my life. Surprisingly, I don't feel like jumping her. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWbI1zLJMN
"So about my abilities," I begin, "what exactly can I do?" I guess it's only fair that we switch to something that she's more comfortable with. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvmrE8ZVZr
"A lot," she answers, becoming animated, glad to be speaking of something other than her dealings with some water creature. "You must have already figured out that you can manipulate situations."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcMDZ1isLY
"Yes." Except for my getting sick the last time we met. "I've noticed that since I was a small child. It's worked to my advantage since."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8h0kueqA4P
"Well, you can manipulate more than that. You can make prophecies, and change them. The future is never set in stone."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQWnt6wDUS
Shit. That's a lot of power... the kind of power that I don't know that I want. I don't know if that's good for me — for anyone. That only makes me more interested.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLIHiwPN5n
"Kwamé said... that you can move things with your mind."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukem6ZXnZ3
"Did he now?"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXkE6ydx4Y
"It was implied." He didn't actually tell me that, after all. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkbW9f32q8
She looks off to the side pensively as if trying to decide how to phrase her thoughts.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUEIwPfSNL
"I'm completely at one with the universe," she begins, sounding more like a monk than anything else. "When that happens, you can feel everything around you — living and non-living. Then, with time, you can learn to... influence things. Without spells."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2vvEaT4Wq
"So in order for me to do that—"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmE9KFtHYR
"You must first be at one with the universe," she answers. What the hell is this now? Avatar the Last Airbender? It sounds like something she just made up, pulled out of her ass, and knowing her, she probably did. On top of that, that sounds like a lot of work and effort. In other words, it sounds like something that I probably won't do.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinMum9oksW
"I understand if you're reluctant," she tells me, guessing my thoughts correctly, "but it's best if you at least get to understand some of your basic powers better, don't you think?"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9ew7unSna
I don't know. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. I mean, I'm now interested in learning, but I'm still unsure. It feels partly real, and partly like a scam. Let's say I do this: what if I can't handle the power? Too much power is never a good thing. Or what if I get sucked into some crazy war that's going on among the supernatural? Somehow, I get the feeling that this river mumma isn't done with us yet.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvosNK2Yjvg
Isn't done with me yet.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1B1bJ2JPiN
In other words, I need to learn how to defend myself.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQXZiO9p1X
But if that is the case... then I'm going to need Akatua.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2mOYJkSjS
I feel so conflicted, a feeling that I am no stranger to, a feeling that I've been drowning in recently. It's probably because decisions and such usually come to me with an unnatural ease, but now I'm struggling to figure my life out.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLZktWGYLb
But shouldn't this, of all things, come naturally? 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FpPXUo7m5
Damnit.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjF1yTZK7H
"Listen. Don't hurt your head about this right now. Just come back when you are ready to learn."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYmgIqYL1P
When she says this, I don't feel as conflicted anymore. I start to relax, and all thoughts of this river mumma fly out of my head. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxAoj0dEPd
"Yes. I will," I tell her, feeling myself relax already. See? I tell myself. No need to worry.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpIbIIhrgP
I lean back into the couch and let my mind wonder — not about magic, but about the possibility of finally having a mother — someone who cares for me. Strangely, the thought makes me smile to myself for the first time, resentment taking a back seat. I've always heard the other children at school talk about the wonders of having parents, and the idea never appealed to me. Now, though, it seems rather... intriguing. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQN18HhStSo
"Nya," she calls, pulling me back to reality. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvCxzfFygW
"Yes?" I ask, looking her in the eye. I see my own brown eyes looking back at me, smiling. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIUxk2326V
Her face smiles warmly at me. "Thank you for coming."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsynUM3ZpZi
It is in this moment that I realise how much this means to her, how unfair, how selfish I was being for letting my feelings get in the way of making the only person on this earth who possibly loves me happy. It's not even as if it's something hard. She just wanted me to give her a chance, and it is in that moment that I feel a guilt like no other bind up in my chest, making me feel sick. Additionally, everything that she's done — that I've hated her for has been in the name of protecting me. Still, I turned her away. I feel tears sting my eyes as I fight to keep them at bay.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGSY3zhHQZ
And Kwamé thinks that he is the selfish one.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91Q8O7ltXR
"You're welcome," I tell her, my voice filled with newfound friendliness, and wobbling slightly because of my guilt. Its not just my voice that has changed; my entire mindset is now different. I will not be selfish anymore. I will give this woman a chance, even if she tells lies of omission in a misguided attempt to protect me.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgDGGtXFxA
"Awe, Nya," she murmurs, "don't cry, hun." She wraps her arms around me and I return the gesture, tears still threatening.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAexUex4cH
"It's just, you know," I begin,"I'm sorry," I rasp.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvhZ6F0TOg
"Your feelings are completely understandable, dear," she reassures me, rubbing my back.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLJAOoTfUv
This is another thing that I'm not used to: affection. I've been hugged by people before, but it always felt so... unnatural. Akatua's warm embrace, however, is different. Hugging her feels natural. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVuZnQnpeB
At least something feels natural around her.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68Z1cBJPIT
When it's over, I pull back and look at her. I have one request, one thing I need to ask of her.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNq9lTR54A
"Akatua?"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCqNrxzcMu
"Hmm?"773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFim8H34CKp
I chew my bottom lip for a second as my eyes dry, trying to find the best way to word my thoughts.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvpJPE22db
"When it comes to telling me things," I begin,"if it's absolutely necessary, for example, if this woman — river mumma — is coming back... stuff like that," I clarify as she nods her head, but still, I have to say it out loud.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmQDASxZzF
"Please tell me," I ask as she continues to nod her head solemnly. I'm not even asking her to tell me everything, just the important bits.773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr9mW0TQHo
"That's fair," she agrees. "I will try my best to be honest with you about things like that from hear on out."773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulxHTaXYow
"Thank you, Akatua," I say genuinely. 773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5dbHE49fP
"You're welcome, Nya," she replies. It is while looking into this woman's face that I think to myself:773Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSz0ljcPbi
Hey, I guess family can be fun after all.
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