A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdOz5pDCq5
-:-827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPqnUmuKQQ
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcif2jKj7M
CHARACTERS827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecg2Nsq3PW
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHnSsz6Vby
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWR9Bny2sA
--827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQ3d1Ywg5C
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmjnoMKgsB
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IydFi41km
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeMRb2qV88
We don’t have much time.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7gWGVx3E4
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99LGapvCsr
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv62PQyzEpS
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0k5LqFlms
CECIL827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8lfnlYyZx
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVq4Rgkdx1p
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeYJPEuqii
I understand you’re upset - 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwQjQDt05w
CECIL827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKucUyy6rX
I damn well am! 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlRotW81gm
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2urAPByMAJ
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg699vMrcEO
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOi9YORrcrq
CECIL827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtZtm9bv9f
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gu25DXhEW
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1BAGq1Szr
(slowly)827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRAunkz92n
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSD54UaMWdE
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2IZR7Qnuq
CECIL827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuAyWkU8mZ
What?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDi2F75BA1
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCswf2wZxo
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgd7hEgm9U
CECIL827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tzKM2eo4R
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHefwIZU6z
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygBCYuwt7z
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDln2ZyJtDU
CECIL827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrwXnce9Nh
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSdOcrZSrP
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZROB6qcfKF
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakFdNIXKIU
CECIL827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqyBu3macp
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZsk1sJgE3
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFB7AHQ3iD
That may be the case, but look at this.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlGYeF1PRq
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSP2Uh418v
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGXiFBDGUU
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNVxMFl8mH
CECIL827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡva4YIULcWP
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC1iUV8kTO
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTS1DuMXJGr
(grimly)827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJPxJxomBZ
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClzmL0yfcy
CECIL827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNecwVkCEvV
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztEWgVnIx1
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHTcrZavQ4
XIUYING827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTPaZzei85
Who said anything about paying them off?827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OZkRYlq7l
--827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniQABuqvNo
