A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcC33YrdMz1
-:-936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGktiXfdY86
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6lhhVykek
CHARACTERS936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriD4oidMEB
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEXJmzmkM8
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQ93PQOmHr
--936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSh330fApwT
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUz83qjcW3r
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvm5QoTc46r
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxc9UeZ5BF
We don’t have much time.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglNEq6xdq5
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8pinFewqa
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xWlp6vhim
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAVyHifZR2
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTGNcMk2tS
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVK9tG5PJLK
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFILLYlHMZr
I understand you’re upset - 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yGt6L9XSG
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBfGzMpTCB
I damn well am! 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡros5f9H3WF
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU73OlNLzJT
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2V7MzCewu
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueNJ62SUqX
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWr5fb5YiV
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKclqXJu7yO
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICp0jKLT69
(slowly)936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmz15sBYejl
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBls9pupFSy
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEzHxMLJ3x
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnL2dmKMXfY
What?936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7QklsDTJr
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GuaCKIZB8
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCEtntnRqk
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nlTtfdsJ4
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZxrUUEo7T
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemOiniJS4m
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mMdqfUWcG
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBQdqVk7U6
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZD7XuD6SE
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAw30X0IbaS
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdz8QwQbJQ4
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUcI0C5xAe
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7B1qlXO7oV
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4DtzoRc03
That may be the case, but look at this.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhwW06ZdW8
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetrlxwtzM3
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaogj8mOrxY
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NJwDT34hc
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtL72XGXgR
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05GpY5uQHC
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOyf2G8Eat
(grimly)936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfPgIfqhex
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerVmtQKU6P
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyY1LufB5K
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJjYERKqy0
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lUOKxCTQh
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwuwd7xXxK
Who said anything about paying them off?936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ULozUlgm3
--936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKBVQfxlLm
