A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 936Please respect copyright.PENANA4tYN2S2qdo
-:-936Please respect copyright.PENANAVTFEpt9XyZ
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE936Please respect copyright.PENANANjUvLx9Ynu
CHARACTERS936Please respect copyright.PENANAbbfzR2XmK4
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed936Please respect copyright.PENANAcJ2z8aEP22
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette936Please respect copyright.PENANA8dKXYRzgZQ
--936Please respect copyright.PENANA3i2O4qHvfI
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT936Please respect copyright.PENANA6RQzckw6VF
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.936Please respect copyright.PENANAXJ6fKfMI5l
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANAai2Ap4BXRV
We don’t have much time.936Please respect copyright.PENANAdQOUbB4ip4
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?936Please respect copyright.PENANAhq6bhXHy1f
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANAg2sDrwKxD4
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 936Please respect copyright.PENANAfXPRfzaIaW
CECIL936Please respect copyright.PENANAyWaxGmZaeD
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!936Please respect copyright.PENANAdfPRBPaXwy
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANAohcTRIQduj
I understand you’re upset - 936Please respect copyright.PENANAMmVsxswuxv
CECIL936Please respect copyright.PENANAjiAnZ0YIHd
I damn well am! 936Please respect copyright.PENANABZs6ONr6du
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANA6WrYKJHKjb
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.936Please respect copyright.PENANAHokVxrwC5B
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 936Please respect copyright.PENANAPqGlFbhZpM
CECIL936Please respect copyright.PENANADAhcwFiF3h
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 936Please respect copyright.PENANAOh0c1m0Z0p
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANA9WW0SwHkyj
(slowly)936Please respect copyright.PENANAcbFgC6aHt5
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.936Please respect copyright.PENANAfqCbrxPwlZ
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 936Please respect copyright.PENANAp8E8oIlj5u
CECIL936Please respect copyright.PENANANp0aufZrJU
What?936Please respect copyright.PENANAzFtqgxwEAP
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANAXKK2RvVfiD
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.936Please respect copyright.PENANAUDK9NcJNVh
CECIL936Please respect copyright.PENANAbQ2RCXL8dF
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!936Please respect copyright.PENANAkM4LVqL1VR
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANAVBKvKwG6lU
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.936Please respect copyright.PENANAnJX9mRx1ms
CECIL936Please respect copyright.PENANACEWyiL7Fm1
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.936Please respect copyright.PENANAWgzEsVcPdT
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANAv5Aq88nBTz
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.936Please respect copyright.PENANAgfEIEjAdvu
CECIL936Please respect copyright.PENANAqdhhJAmTRa
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 936Please respect copyright.PENANAZZcnMZqrxm
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANAQlxbq58MAb
That may be the case, but look at this.936Please respect copyright.PENANAL4ypQ2o2kh
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 936Please respect copyright.PENANAYbLs1wsGAM
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANACGE1jdd9O5
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.936Please respect copyright.PENANAcnfXoXUwlk
CECIL936Please respect copyright.PENANALet59HfPtK
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.936Please respect copyright.PENANAxNxzqNlELb
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANAq1wirhdRqv
(grimly)936Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5pRcHkLgD
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 936Please respect copyright.PENANAMZQpijz5RC
CECIL936Please respect copyright.PENANA57Vvt1XhF5
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.936Please respect copyright.PENANAKSjQRKPj9h
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 936Please respect copyright.PENANALadR9NpFgO
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.PENANAzIcBXKmsXd
Who said anything about paying them off?936Please respect copyright.PENANAVVVyPnkqoY
--936Please respect copyright.PENANAvLEebDuLXm