A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKBKbNRF95
-:-936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvnfp9Dz2j
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIUkx4eFnT
CHARACTERS936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVsZW6SgxO
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekyIwg6HCy
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0gdSpKW93
--936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNf5cBlqki9
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsCQhAsWRV
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopQjBCbnGq
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FtU2dk39o
We don’t have much time.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0o4dOwd5KM
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIR2GnCheBA
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDHH9QHgpI
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWf9Ukl7oM
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYEnnaNjfu
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjgpnzjbZg
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLfBxu7B92
I understand you’re upset - 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiqTAlVIvm
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyuaDjsiwZ
I damn well am! 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHizlo6qeYD
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2YDi07oTs
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiN8Y2Pfa5O
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpJzWrNAM2
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQv8epIz0SZ
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeCok9J9dM
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3D0CYacUPZ
(slowly)936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kxZfHI0n1
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXSnoA3CLy
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs4Shfmaq4
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwR2ajk6iq
What?936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEOO3cfiHD
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QqiJ8QR5h
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDK1GlPxxED
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaBYc9RpdY
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BMbH4Kf9k
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuNmtG3hB1
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOH5QnYkWb
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsTNUiTdbk
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bOQXuZOhN
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vQo2EmeFM
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2KHUTqMXr
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIOxWJ7Vox
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6ZUptPugQ
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAc7eXuw43
That may be the case, but look at this.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4SOozm6WD
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZEchx3UIA
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGja512r9xQ
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jch1w5KPk
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QQ4TCTqaa
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgndCUJu5C
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpA2QA4fdBP
(grimly)936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQ7CoUC6Ck
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwFOdcvhmD
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYzeMIDuWi
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuv4aSHefV1
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOXSrhBO3b
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZmakxvqOz
Who said anything about paying them off?936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRdGPYobJM
--936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYX6TbcnH7S
