A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 935Please respect copyright.PENANAdfyQGa4OEZ
-:-935Please respect copyright.PENANAbrBvO0dFSo
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE935Please respect copyright.PENANAeLQhWGMYa6
CHARACTERS935Please respect copyright.PENANAnrdnEwVm1O
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed935Please respect copyright.PENANAseS1gzuEWV
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette935Please respect copyright.PENANA8UENAGNd0G
--935Please respect copyright.PENANAo9Jbualmvh
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT935Please respect copyright.PENANAWwluMCCh0I
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.935Please respect copyright.PENANApNlhpSQ9fu
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAtO0leRZvVg
We don’t have much time.935Please respect copyright.PENANAHODxhiOWCe
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?935Please respect copyright.PENANAaemI3I17Zl
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAOhAxwGJcmH
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 935Please respect copyright.PENANAUNpGmBayEk
CECIL935Please respect copyright.PENANAmL0kSz5zYJ
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!935Please respect copyright.PENANAA0GHKrampW
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAFjvdsECuvl
I understand you’re upset - 935Please respect copyright.PENANAsD9HUgDtf6
CECIL935Please respect copyright.PENANALdOhmMb7Iz
I damn well am! 935Please respect copyright.PENANANgP2eDKnGJ
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAYj3oyhnDHH
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.935Please respect copyright.PENANAUG4YJPj7It
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 935Please respect copyright.PENANAbpt9YC2iPc
CECIL935Please respect copyright.PENANAY9ntddZtPb
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 935Please respect copyright.PENANAcdsoC5VGgY
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAIQLf56bjPW
(slowly)935Please respect copyright.PENANAThy68nuGsq
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.935Please respect copyright.PENANAgdpYw88ei5
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 935Please respect copyright.PENANAKx4x4oNFut
CECIL935Please respect copyright.PENANAvOmxBoDLTT
What?935Please respect copyright.PENANA9Z7lsjFqHu
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAWM9KsrsvzA
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.935Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4UGXhtww9
CECIL935Please respect copyright.PENANApQL9EJenNS
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!935Please respect copyright.PENANAe3GmDuxRgx
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAfKxabyVtBS
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.935Please respect copyright.PENANAZRIV3YDOGI
CECIL935Please respect copyright.PENANATdsPUN0olh
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.935Please respect copyright.PENANADB5cJyDMsK
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAP7VyCHiD9e
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.935Please respect copyright.PENANAknJeRLBrdX
CECIL935Please respect copyright.PENANAmgDpLkMW9g
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 935Please respect copyright.PENANATNoCNtLbac
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANACTuJhGFaKx
That may be the case, but look at this.935Please respect copyright.PENANAfEROm0mT7A
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 935Please respect copyright.PENANALI5mhqidT2
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANA2tpYIfKoCb
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.935Please respect copyright.PENANAZOUvdrQetG
CECIL935Please respect copyright.PENANALBE0PDsbq7
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.935Please respect copyright.PENANAScTb0w6pg9
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAP3BEYjgD8Z
(grimly)935Please respect copyright.PENANA9OtT318rxV
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 935Please respect copyright.PENANAmYS0lMiltH
CECIL935Please respect copyright.PENANA8eC0BCcUix
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.935Please respect copyright.PENANATJe3UWDdHE
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 935Please respect copyright.PENANAEBkaUvAIKt
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.PENANAaYdfOOM7ok
Who said anything about paying them off?935Please respect copyright.PENANAokh4Zzjg8X
--935Please respect copyright.PENANAb7W3Z4VyMd