A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfyQGa4OEZ
-:-935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrBvO0dFSo
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLQhWGMYa6
CHARACTERS935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrdnEwVm1O
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseS1gzuEWV
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UENAGNd0G
--935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9Jbualmvh
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwluMCCh0I
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNlhpSQ9fu
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtO0leRZvVg
We don’t have much time.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHODxhiOWCe
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaemI3I17Zl
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhAxwGJcmH
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNpGmBayEk
CECIL935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmL0kSz5zYJ
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0GHKrampW
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjvdsECuvl
I understand you’re upset - 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsD9HUgDtf6
CECIL935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdOhmMb7Iz
I damn well am! 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgP2eDKnGJ
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYj3oyhnDHH
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUG4YJPj7It
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpt9YC2iPc
CECIL935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9ntddZtPb
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdsoC5VGgY
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQLf56bjPW
(slowly)935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThy68nuGsq
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdpYw88ei5
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKx4x4oNFut
CECIL935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOmxBoDLTT
What?935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Z7lsjFqHu
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWM9KsrsvzA
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4UGXhtww9
CECIL935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQL9EJenNS
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3GmDuxRgx
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKxabyVtBS
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRIV3YDOGI
CECIL935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdsPUN0olh
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDB5cJyDMsK
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7VyCHiD9e
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknJeRLBrdX
CECIL935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgDpLkMW9g
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNoCNtLbac
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTuJhGFaKx
That may be the case, but look at this.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEROm0mT7A
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI5mhqidT2
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tpYIfKoCb
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOUvdrQetG
CECIL935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBE0PDsbq7
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScTb0w6pg9
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3BEYjgD8Z
(grimly)935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OtT318rxV
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYS0lMiltH
CECIL935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eC0BCcUix
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJe3UWDdHE
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBkaUvAIKt
XIUYING935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYdfOOM7ok
Who said anything about paying them off?935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokh4Zzjg8X
--935Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7W3Z4VyMd
