A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUo95xXovM
-:-874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEXXZQu4y6
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46GcEQXexy
CHARACTERS874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ950m0x6s8i
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzpH2M1yM5
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUWGFqpS2I
--874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQQPReCA8A
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOfpecz4vX
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4y6au01mo
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvwvAp0vay
We don’t have much time.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26WDOZgk5o
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiP9EFUbK5
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZsiwv1IXw
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzOYadbdIk
CECIL874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zrpy6Fc2N
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeyToMTtlF
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpK6wjwll7S
I understand you’re upset - 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBW2DSYkcL
CECIL874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBpKQand3r
I damn well am! 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp9a6VFPXA
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC7VgJLVnn
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIIH1oDYgX
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwJUE6i54B
CECIL874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOpJHM2SRa
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGola6tvXC
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHhhgviyeG
(slowly)874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7w3BTJfx4x
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtywXzpcri3
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5PgOxGlGB
CECIL874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQY6QFBNEX
What?874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ95NB2kZdV
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeY5nTCfgl
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjCmd15rcQ
CECIL874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ057HCCq1ln
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLP85xsx9L9
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdI5uIjwU9t
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJutitfNOHl
CECIL874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ELdntaXML
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjpaDrOjkK
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTxBeiUMSn
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XnxvGxt9t
CECIL874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDOYJVU5hm
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI4V95tuIw
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCiZASD3Cl
That may be the case, but look at this.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IYCN1Ajw2
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhW2g5J9yF
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmJqtCZVrP
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7A9N4rFzER
CECIL874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXtk4D7tfW
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1iHHf4FPf
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVrua8XRxW
(grimly)874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoQ6OmO8Hg
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiz4xR5hDK
CECIL874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FYzbIiZeA
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLo3jlKAAII
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyX0D6rIK2
XIUYING874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbYK9TWJP9
Who said anything about paying them off?874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmqFnEnMjx
--874Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIv53uwTE6O
