A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tYN2S2qdo
-:-936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTFEpt9XyZ
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjUvLx9Ynu
CHARACTERS936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbfzR2XmK4
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJ2z8aEP22
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dKXYRzgZQ
--936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3i2O4qHvfI
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RQzckw6VF
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJ6fKfMI5l
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡai2Ap4BXRV
We don’t have much time.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQOUbB4ip4
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq6bhXHy1f
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2sDrwKxD4
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXPRfzaIaW
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWaxGmZaeD
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfPRBPaXwy
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohcTRIQduj
I understand you’re upset - 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmVsxswuxv
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiAnZ0YIHd
I damn well am! 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZs6ONr6du
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WrYKJHKjb
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHokVxrwC5B
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqGlFbhZpM
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAhcwFiF3h
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOh0c1m0Z0p
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WW0SwHkyj
(slowly)936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbFgC6aHt5
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqCbrxPwlZ
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8E8oIlj5u
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNp0aufZrJU
What?936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFtqgxwEAP
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKK2RvVfiD
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDK9NcJNVh
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ2RCXL8dF
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkM4LVqL1VR
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBKvKwG6lU
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJX9mRx1ms
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEWyiL7Fm1
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgzEsVcPdT
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5Aq88nBTz
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfEIEjAdvu
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdhhJAmTRa
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZcnMZqrxm
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlxbq58MAb
That may be the case, but look at this.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4ypQ2o2kh
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbLs1wsGAM
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGE1jdd9O5
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnfXoXUwlk
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLet59HfPtK
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNxzqNlELb
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1wirhdRqv
(grimly)936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5pRcHkLgD
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZQpijz5RC
CECIL936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57Vvt1XhF5
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSjQRKPj9h
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLadR9NpFgO
XIUYING936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIcBXKmsXd
Who said anything about paying them off?936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVVyPnkqoY
--936Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLEebDuLXm
