***Characters in this scene***
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF6le9pJxo
Ivy Wilkerson
Description: 18. Newlywed. An over thinker, mature for her age yet doesn’t know how to take care of herself, yet insists on being independent. Somewhat irresponsible, yet engages in surprisingly tame behavior considering her background. Cynical, bad social skills, goes on irrelevant tangents, yet endearing and has clear potential. Decent grades at school, yet no aspirations. Two close female friends. Psychological damage is evident.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyALp4QlDF
Benjamin (Ben) Maxfield
Description: 33. Also newlywed. Severe OCD that interferes with his daily interactions. Caring with good intentions, but doesn’t quite seem to understand Ivy, even though he tries. However, he clearly loves her. Combined with his fathers inheritance and being a manager at an Apple store, he lives comfortably at a Brooklyn apartment, although he tries to be secretive about it, due to the fact that most of his friends are poor and he tries to avoid provoking jealousy. He and his wife both have the tendency to blurt out odd and shocking things.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5N6TUNHwg
Female Neighbor (Offstage)
Description: Not much needs to be said about this woman and her spouse. Middle aged. Hates her husband. Anger issues.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4fDaatAh9
Male Neighbor (Offstage)
Description: Middle aged to elderly. Married to pyscho woman.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4pQlval3O
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfJFzP8Udy
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKwokMD5wI
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqruFs9E3mc
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YTd1ysUUH
Setting: Medium to small apartment in Brooklyn in the year 2015. Their place isn't extravagant by any means, with the bare necessities but also clear that they're not in poverty. Cheesy 70s wallpaper decorates the interior. A few cliche photos of hackneyed motivational quotes line the walls as well. Think a minimalistic-ly drawn tree with the word “Hope” written over it in cursive. Random things in the room are a little worn down, for example, the sofa has a patch of duct tape on one cushion)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTer5fmKXq
SCENE 1
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCCqKjkgap
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGM1K1LFUA
(The couple walks into their apartment, lady first)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2bKwvPmmu
Ben: Aw c’mon, the movie wasn’t that bad. There has to be at least one positive thing you can say.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWAL6NzYsc
Ivy: I think with some therapy I might be able to recover from it.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyb8jTqRowD
(She flops on the couch and throws her jacket on the floor. Ben sighs, picks it up, and hangs it somewhere)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnNiTxIsxw
Ben: You need to lower your standards.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPltO2LGRH
Ivy: Well sorry I have taste.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhP5hI1TRBP
Ben: Are you saying I have bad taste?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZFYSIKxVr
Ivy: No, I’m saying you have no taste.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡappo9cqDwI
(Offstage a semi loud crrreeeaaakkk is heard followed by footsteps)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkcBJWhc9d
Ben: Oh hey, the Goyer’s are home. Almost same time as us. Damn, our walls are crazy thin. I wonder if they can hear us as well as we can hear them. Ivy?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLnhpXXI6q
(She stares at the ceiling catatonically. Offstage a voice is heard.)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3m4JyHYCI
Man: Hey honey, how ‘bout we have some fun tonight?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdo2dhxhcki
Woman: Fuck off, I have a headache.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6YuflyeQh
Man: You know sex is the best cure for a headache, right?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRztZneXdG
Woman: Nooo, an orgasm is the best cure for a headache!
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRp3g2FhXO
Man: What the hell is that supposed to mean?!
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwiNPL082x
Woman: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS!
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFK9KZKixEj
(Yelling over each other)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVI6N2tizA2
Ivy: Jesus, those two should be in a sitcom!
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDlEdCnczL
Ben: Or in custody.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkg3YxHuACt
(Offstage clashing, banging, and quarreling is heard)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lXZdU3XYq
Ben: Aaaaannnnddd they’re at it again.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVk9pLFjwt
Ivy: (Sits up, mildly concerned) Should we call the police?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29qxhgDkgA
Ben: No point, they don’t even come anymore.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmmVJYQeqn
Woman: IF YOU TAKE ONE STEP CLOSER I WILL CASTRATE YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphVY24cM2C
Ben: (Calmly, like this has happened a billion times before) Alright, I’m off to keep this man’s testicles in tact.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLqocNcufM
(Ivy chuckles)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAcuE9C4Lj
Ben: (While walking out the door) You know what I mean!
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e6Szs93V3
Ben: (Heard offstage) Alright, you guys, ther- (couple is bickering, not even realizing Ben is in the room) SON OF A- (his voice is drowned out by more intense clashing and banging)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNm0rJ42DQ0
(Loud door slamming, running down stairs noises)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA326pY3JFO
Ben: (Flings the door open) How does that woman wipe her ass with those nails? When was the last time she cut them? Aw crap, I think one of them broke off in my shirt! (Checks under it frantically).
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyurx85nu8E
Ivy: (Walks across room to get a bandaid) Man, I think those two are starting to rub off on us. (Approaches Ben and places it on his forearm, he is panicked and still searching for the nail, not even aware that his arm is bleeding. She struggles to pull it away from him to place the bandage on)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyn0Cchw33
Ben: (Distracted, half-assing the conversation) Wuyddaya mean?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7mAiunJmF
Ivy: I mean, we’ve picked up on their petty arguments.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8dyiNG9i0
Ben: (Stops, suddenly interested) I don’t follow.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27uwLNTal7
Ivy: I mean, just five minutes ago we were arguing about that godawful movie, I insulted you and-
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksLqBtBf57
Ben: Wait, you consider that arguing?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMfQB8OkTv
Ivy: Well…yeah.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0IVq0L4H3
Ben: Oh, I mean, well…really? I just thought we were teasing each other. Ya’ know, like, playfully. Harmless.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DSyDcw9Uh
Ivy: Oh, I was worried you were taking my words the wrong way. I’m not being malicious when I say stuff like that y’know. Just…wouldn’t it be boring if I were just nice and pleasant to you all the time? If I only complimented you? Smiled at you? I hate that Doris Day bullshit. A healthy relationship, well in my eyes at least, we take those little flaws about our partner and milk them to no end. I’ll never stop teasing you about your lack of taste. I like the fact that you think crocs are an acceptable footwear. I mean I fucking hate it, but it’s cute ya know? It why I married you. Your lameness is cute. If you didn’t have any flaws you’d be like Doris Day with a dick. Its like that episode of Friends where Monica and Chandler-
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPxzArpvKG
Ben: (Interrupting his lovely wife) Alright, alright, stop. (Pauses) …Oh shit, I found the nail on the floor! Get the trash can! Get the trash can!
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uCbYAFa9A
(Ivy sighs and walks across the room, almost in slow motion as if to torture him)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjv8nuYIQa
Ben: Ivy! Quick! Hurry! C’mon! (she tosses the trash can at his feet and sighs. Ben calms down instantly after he throws the nail in it)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97Qi7cfGJp
Ben: (Deep breath then snaps out of it) Glad we’ve cleared that up.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiE7kEKlai4
Ivy: (Still visibly upset) Yeah…still feeling kinda…what’s the word?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqq3NoWzO7
Ben: … Sad…?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswqdyNQaxL
Ivy: Yeah, that’s the one.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUI2eEcevtY
Ben: …Becaaussee…?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV11kFThGmG
Ivy: How often to you hear those two?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEgJhXjzZV
Ben: Well I mean, I hear them upstairs everyday, but instances like that I’d say are about once a month. First time she’s drawn blood though. Gotta admit I'm a little proud of her.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBLeoydAtt
Ivy: You know they remind me of my parents.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡml91BnwBHw
Ben: Not surprising. You’ve told me about them.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQX60sx4EJ
Ivy: I’m worried we’re gonna turn out like them. Your neighbors, I mean, So technically my parents as well. I don’t know, almost seems inevitable. Don’t ask me for a rational explanation for me saying this because there isn’t one. It’s just a hunch. Some 4th dimensional voodoo bullshit. The spirits are calling out to me, Ben.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmaAczxd7t
Ben: Jesus, Ivy.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswwBHPz3LK
Ivy: I was being facetious. But the concern still stands. (Circles around the couch once then sits down in the middle). Didn’t you tell me your neighbors are 15 years apart in age as well?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5mJhPHVGK
Ben: Something like that, yeah, give or take.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZu5Ng8aWu
Ivy: Don’t you find that weird?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5xPdNfsay
Ben: No, just a coincidence. In fact, I think its like, their only similarity to us.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmo6W9G3o0R
Ivy: As far as we know. I don’t know. Maybe being in such different stages of life strained their marriage.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RrU5PFEnJ
Ben: Or maybe the bad sex. They really need to soundproof their walls. (Ivy sighs and Ben approaches her from behind and rubs her shoulders) Listen, everything’s gonna be alright. A little self awareness goes a long way. I’m sure the Goyer’s have never even bothered to evaluate their relationship. Or themselves for that matter. Now I’m gonna go take a nap alright? Afterwords we’ll move your next few boxes in. Oh also, I found a blue one wedged underneath the carseat. Medium sized.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlpfOrtT71
Ivy: Oh yeah! That must be where I packed all my panties. Had to turn this pair inside out.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyN4843VAn
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wCum3Dchr
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs53Pe7E5Xz
END SCENE 1
SCENE TWO
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa3sOHQXuF
***Characters in this scene***
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeJC0nbU7x
Ben
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSIajRswWx
Therapist (Unnamed so far)
Description: Extremely scholarly, well educated, and formal. Fond of Ben, although she seems to get slightly blunt and irritated with him at times. Her speciality is eating disorders, so she was a bit puzzled as to why Ben and chosen to see her for his OCD, but it turns out that she was the only psychologist within a 20 mile radius that was 100% covered by his insurance.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsLskRUm1K
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUL2s7pnqKe
(Ben sitting with his therapist)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLGU5Cmlat
Ben: I’ve never been able to pinpoint where exactly my issues with women stem from. Ivy says its because my father was misogynistic, but I don’t really agree with that.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyztPn6bGSg
Therapist: Was your father a misogynist?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sUdIbTBCK
***Cue Flashback***
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ovx7lM9Mt
(Young boy, around age 10 stands outside dribbling a basketball. Middle aged man wearing a baseball cap and a mustache approaches him and puts his arm around him)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb6lOjUmwk
Father: Son, let me tell you a little something about respecting women… See, the thing is, women aren’t people, so you don’t have to respect them. Alright, good talk son. (Pats Ben’s shoulder and leaves)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6r7mZwxOzs
***End Flashback***
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudtnhI3iXO
Ben: God no! He was great!
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM5TQCQZtB
Therapist: (Writing on notepad in a quintessential therapist manner) Mhm. Mhm.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AYExE1zxE
Ben: My sister says my disorder might have something to do with it. I mean, its tough to stick with a person when you’re so picky right? Like the slightest thing about someone will get to me so it makes romance nearly impossible.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMFI3GfZym
***Cue Another Flashback***
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhNof3pj1G
(Teenage Ben on a date with teenage another girl)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOp9vwZPLzq
Teenage Ben: So what’s your sign?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzu82yYh6Dk
Girl: I’m a scorpio.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoXpIoFiYp
Teenage Ben: SON OF A BITCH! (Throws chair against wall and storms out of restaurant)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0qrgS45dd
***End Flashback***
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWbpZkRS19
Therapist: Well obviously there are multiple factors. It’s a complicated issue you know.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvPPPecCVs
Ben: Yeah, true. (Aggressively pulls at a thread on his sweater)
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUrS93rMWX
Therapist: And I don’t know if you remember but this but, you’re married now. You can worry about this issue a little less. Honey, honey, just cut if off! (hands ben a pair of scissors). Tell me about Ivory.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mBkG6yInw
Ben: Ivy.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6Lc80zJaO
Therapist: Ivy. Tell me about her. What do you like about her? And be specific.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mWbKxnMP8
Ben: Oh man well, where do I begin? She balances me out. Stresses me the fuck out, but its worth it. Better than not having her. She’s not perfect by any means which is just makes her even more endearing. Her apathy is not only impressive and kinda sexy, it’s fucking fascinating. I mean how does she manage that of lack give a fuck? She’ll walk in a room and throw her jacket on the floor. The floor! Without even a second thought! I mean how the hell? I’m jealous of that in a sense. I would think maybe being around her, well, I would pick up on her mannerisms a little bit, like almost absentmindedly. They say that the reason couples tend to look like each other when they get older its because they spend so much time together that their skin ages in a similar way. They’ll be out together in the sun in the same place at the same time, and the wrinkles around their mouth would form similarly from all the times they’ve laughed together. So I always find myself wanting to adapt to her. It’s like she’s this big powerful force I need to succumb to. Not to say I’m using her in any sense, I mean god I fucking love her. She’s the only person I’ve never wanted to run away from the second they do something that upsets me. Sometimes I think every thing about us that could be different, is different. But then I tell myself “No, thats ridiculous, we have so much in common.” I mean, we both like Star Wars! And even if we are different in every sense of the word, we still balance each other out. But still, she manages to be so complicated even with apathy being her strongest trait. It’s like she’s a code I’m constantly trying to unlock and I’m just guessing numbers at this point.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUUJpRjJsV
Therapist: I have a hard time believing this is your first time ever being exposed to someone who is apathetic. Why does she compel you more than others with such a trait?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZkKRbsNWS
Ben: Oh well, of course its not my first time. I went to high school you know.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLLusVLml4
Therapist: No need to be sarcastic.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjVaXNzZp2
Ben: Sorry. Maybe her age has something to do with it. Or maybe its because she’s hot, so she can get away with it. Either way it seems different with her. Like she’s not doing the apathy thing because she wants to be “cool”, so she puts on a guise, its much more intense than that. It reaches to her bones and her core.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeS1O23hcKc
Therapist: You know a “lack-of-give-a-fuck” to that extent is often a symptom of clinical depression.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4O2xOKVcU
Ben: Oh if this girl doesn’t have clinical depression I personally give you permission to pluck each one my pubes off individually. Of course she has that shit. Never been diagnosed though. No opportunities. God, she’s never had an opportunity for a damn thing in her life. The second I walked into her house I knew I needed to get her the fuck out of there. She told me she used to sleep in an open drawer when she was a baby because there was no room in her house due to all of her siblings. I proposed to her that night, no ring, no one knee bullshit, just blurted it out. Neither of us are much one for romance. She told me about her home life for hours that day and got real heavy. I couldn’t take it anymore so I said to her, “Look. I have money. I have a place. You don’t have to have anything to do with me if you don’t want, hell, we don’t even have to talk to each other, just marry me. Seriously. You never have to deal with any of this again.” She said yes, but it wasn’t an enthusiastic yes, it was a “sure, why not” yes. And I had never been more relieved in my entire life. I had never felt so positively about a “yeah, sure, whatever” before. The second she graduated, she walked right out of the building, stuffed her cap and diploma in her oversized purse, and met me at city hall.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDBJEqpNqb
Therapist: ….
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5R23ZEd8QC
Ben: What?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t10omfghh
Therapist: Ben, are you sure that this is a legitimate marriage?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TrS2Mgh7v
Ben: (Slightly offended and confused) Well yeah, legally, I have all the papers-
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAg69o8bOJ
Therapist: No, I mean…how do I say this? Alright, who’s idea was it to merely go down to city hall and not have as much as a simple celebration for the occasion?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡho6f8Wj6ku
Ben: Well we went to Olive Garden after! And hers, she’s not much one for romance.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx05kZVTqcK
Therapist: I see. Why did you tell her “We don’t even have to talk to each other”?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSczMyghZUE
Ben: I was joking! I didn’t actually say that.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlm5BQKdR19
Therapist: But there has to be a reason you mentioned that in your description a few minutes ago.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxdmZCZiT9
Ben: She just acts like she hates me sometimes. I don’t take it personally though, she tends to be very antisocial to everyone. Alright, you know I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t propose to her as a favor, right? I’ll admit to that. But I wouldn’t propose to someone I didn’t love. I’ve met plenty people in shitty situations, and I’ve never really felt the need to interfere nearly as much…but with her its different, cause ya know, feelings and shit. And she wouldn’t have said yes to just anyone, right? I mean there has to be something about me that appeals to her, right? At least I’m the lesser of two evils. That’s enough for me right now, I guess. Well no, maybe I’d want to be-
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBv7IkmI8O
Therapist: Ben, does this girl even like you?
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfDmKTFg4J
Ben: I…I don’t know.
777Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuRwpzfnkM
END SCENE TWO
ns216.73.216.85da2
