x
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I don’t even know when it started—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgY0g1DgDRK
this quiet, growing love I have for Kouichi.
When we were little, I always thought of him as my younger brother.
He was always quietly by my side—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI59UqlISK3
picking up my fallen hair clips,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6jloqv4ju
handing me a handkerchief when I cried.
I thought he was smaller than me,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxALMgfJr7x
someone I had to look after and protect.
But at some point—he had grown taller than I was.
When he walked beside me,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuIhop8ElU
his shadow stretched longer, broader.
His voice had deepened.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg30Ve7WYBI
His eyes had grown more still.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zTlozNN84
And he no longer nodded at everything I said—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmll9ycY29
he had learned how to say “no.”
It was in that moment I realized—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fJKuZrcsH
I could no longer see him as a younger brother.
Because he had become… a man.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwDxrgRRzO
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXzuJRtJsJ
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When he stands too close, I blush.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQcCRNXSND
My heart skips.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnQAN47EJ7
Even just meeting his eyes makes it hard to breathe.
If I go a whole day without seeing him, I get restless, unsettled—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqqv6wALzq
and my mind keeps replaying his face, his voice, over and over.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7a4XcziKL
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsFJ3rEIeW
And whenever I do see him,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjafLamQYYL
my gaze can’t help but follow him—
From the tousled strands of his hair,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAd5L0PbCYe
to his long, dark lashes,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1WemCmS6V
to the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.
Even the light texture of his skin under the sun,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1g4tINpV7I
the curve of his shoulders… and—
That tiny mole on the right side of his neck.
And then…8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JmNHxGl5S
there’s his Adam’s apple.
It moves slightly whenever he talks or swallows—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnBbSCn2p0
and every time,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiskElp7dAr
I find myself wondering what it might feel like8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRRomzTmOP
if I brushed my fingertips across it.
Sometimes, I even catch myself staring at the shape of his lips.
He doesn’t have to say anything—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5KhQTLC9k
and still, I can’t help imagining:
If one day, those lips pressed against my skin…8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlJgTE8Zqe
my forehead,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t8JYBYH0f
my ear,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14UB9A3zLu
the back of my neck…
And finally—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIhUUjihtb
if they pressed against my lips—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mnu1j8h3S
what would that feel like?8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAETUg0tNv1
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It’s like a melody.
A melody I accidentally heard the beginning of,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd287Ohb1M
and now can’t stop listening to.
It’s not loud,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQ8vKZsvzk
but it loops endlessly inside me, quietly—
And before I realized it,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYzmmvUT48
I was already too deep to escape.
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8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQsIIShS8l
That day, he was driving me to school.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Vm2qAeQQd
It was supposed to be just another ordinary morning.
Until a little girl suddenly dashed into the street—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3XtkTDx7l
and he hit the brakes.
The tires screeched against the road,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmykYqls3EI
and the car jolted violently.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtq4O9arKOY
Before I could react—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJBagHuFZe
his left arm reached across me,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAMRroD1VK
blocking me protectively across the chest.
Just two… maybe three centimeters more,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GQy81ukQS
and he would’ve touched me.
That wide hand hovered there, fingers slightly spread,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhZb38JnyJ
knuckles sharp and veins faintly visible.
It was so close I could almost feel the warmth of his fingertips—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKgWePySom
and the tremor in the air between us.
His hand was still trembling.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzosUWqXn4u
Almost imperceptibly.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeqUG3Y5xI
Not out of fear—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgFcsv3ld4
but from the lingering adrenaline, the instinct to protect.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOstJkAjq2
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJpckQbITs
And me?8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZT67srPm9r
I was already blushing to the tips of my ears.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwG0O7spGX
I felt like lightning had struck me.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOnVOS3JcW
I couldn’t move an inch.
“My lady, are you alright?”
His voice was so gentle—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJV4Y09dihu
it felt like it could shatter every piece of armor I wore.
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzKeyPWOjj
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLSwcDMmKg
I quickly turned my face to the window,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxRvDdOovC
trying to hide the heat in my cheeks and the chaos in my chest.
“I-I’m fine…”8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnlNyA3teB
The words came out in broken fragments,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNkrh3bFmN
caught in my throat.
I tried to sound calm,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgt0tqI0BL
but I couldn’t ignore that hand—
The hand that had nearly touched me,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooIC35iWge
and somehow felt even more overwhelming than if it had.
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My heart was in a mess,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEWlDMuAiR
but deep down, in some tiny corner of me, I couldn’t help wondering:
How long has it been since he last touched me?
The last time we held hands was when I was twelve.
He was ten.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxtTivi4tq
We were playing hide and seek in the garden.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tOD1BogWG
He grabbed my hand, sweaty and small, and said:8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdt6hs0XE6v
“Don’t worry. I’ll pull you along.”
His hand back then was soft and a little damp, still a child’s.
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But now…
I snuck a glance at him.
That hand had long since grown—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjiUmiIe29
broad and steady, joints defined,8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBbWfPUg80
carrying the quiet strength of a man.
If I were touched by these hands now…8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXc9HJtPtK
Would they still make me feel safe?
Or had they changed—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7af3PadVn
become something irresistible?
Would his touch still comfort me… 8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ352rgn4oYh
or stir up something I’m not ready for?
I couldn’t say it aloud.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4cSZK8rxY
I didn’t dare look at him again.
I just let those chaotic, greedy, and shamefully yearning thoughts8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1K4eh5D0Hl
rise like waves in my heart—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqI6P2PS2U7
rippling out in silence.
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It was a touch that never crossed the line—8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jzpgdaP4k
but deep down, I quietly longed for it to.8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKb8WFNPdFC
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0Zzqdudy1
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQleYjZbexH
