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Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lzhnPrirl
Too steady.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2uB2IvaIq
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15eEu9gwiS
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgW6i5P90zP
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSm1WlEKruB
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIx5InqvH6g
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkP5q7sDUbN
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwv2OyjZZAb
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18gMJ30vyd
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She didn’t blink.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡna3C2wWO4B
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“Tell me again.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSV0CcskKzT
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSDPTiAAy2
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFGt2bnbpU
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“Play that.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV2jq6u1VI
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I hesitated.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0Z9ULgvkL
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“Play. It.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosZmzSXAqn
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZ0DtLP2pk
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsHu0k1c3l
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yRseiKXg9
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Then laughter.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJ0o9sqlvQ
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeIReTl2A5
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIXJnYDDbL
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And me again.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgCKdDbMwy
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SjL4fj2Pw
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69xdN8avjH
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpF7NrPIb7V
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUenwgqZjz
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPisbBeTZU6
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM2pgzT3p1
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMORuykPvi
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6SEqx1sQl
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJR35FyjhXJ
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLZxBdTaXx
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CzkVmmeqT
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlp0fT6rmz
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpK95o9KCc
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9fvalRwjK
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lc49L5Nt5
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“I love you, Nova.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgn77g6DhlC
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiMuqpHLUV
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwGHKQzeOy
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21Ll2GS2ON
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwKCWkFi2E
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The silence hit harder than any slap.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKmNstNNvu
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BbtnJtlyI
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QYTX3WWqw
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Door slammed.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ84E6k94Zv
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaelf5shWYC
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Not the one on the tape.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0z4JjrcqSh
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The one that finally decided she was done.
