Anna woke up and felt the most horrible feeling. One can only share the words that Anna could put it into, ‘evil’ couldn’t fit the intentions of the internal phenomenon yet, before she could know more about it. She called it “evil,” no, a totally unbearable feeling clawing at her insides, trying to claw its way out when the unbearable rose through the layers of blood to the skin, but still had made itself felt the same way. The unbearable poison that was automatically triggered and used up with the help of a computer. Anna’s memory had been blocked, and images in her brain had been altered to make her look, in every single memory, Chinese, instead of middle eastern. It just happened to coincide that the most boring and embarrassing memories had been left in and in many of those unadventurous times, she had purposefully smoothed out her features and paled herself up to look Chinese. Anna questioned why the races were changed, and if this had enough emotional value to affect how the contestants thought of themselves. Did they know the connotations of races people had between each other and was it possible to use plastic surgery and perhaps medications to morph the face into a version of another race. She had actually been entered into a contest, in which many of the other contestants had damaged themselves, lost sanity and done crazy things to themselves, and this was a test to see how logical or self-sabotaging they could reach with this level of insane unbearable sensation.
Voices in their heads had been added to confuse them, for one, when another type of unbearable sensation came, the voices became louder, and it became impossible to attribute whether the voices were combatting, controlled, and how, computer controlled, because whenever she thought she was thinking the word stop, or please don’t come, it came anyways. It was as if the mind control people could see what was inside her head. Because Anna was winning from her inner will and creative ways of thinking, and editing her hypotheses with the secondary process of logic, the psychopaths behind this game decided to give her an advantage. How they were to make it purely psychological was a complete mystery to Anna, but really they could put anything of sound and image into her brain, which was a technology everyone knew existed outside of the island game (they had been put onto an unknown island made into a replica of their hometown, and placed strategically away from each other in case they come out looking completely unrecognizable). Laughter, and laughter repeated with imagination was key. Units, the psychopaths thought, because they were utterly sadistic and thought that separation and seeing units of people, and division, was the key helplessness of the challenge. However, the unit of sanity, was that every extreme emotion outside, first had to be recognized as extreme but a good sensation, even extreme sadness, while the perverted sadness and disgust the psychopaths were releasing in the contestants was meant to confuse them even though they remembered that any tragic emotion they felt in the past had never felt unbearable in any way, it was rather the event that was irreconcilable. Anna had already sustained many realistic but crazier, larger than life, stories that she imagined and wished would attribute to her own identity. Crazy intelligence, that could be imagined, for example, 190+ IQ, where the limit was 197, and friends that matched her personality, which could be defined as brain functions that would fit perfectly into another’s. Were were these imaginary tools, she imagined, with the crazy fantasies she lived out, literally acting out her own actions, in the outside world, outside this secluded world of misery I had been put into and tested my own sanity and will to live in? It was insane, if she was totally wrong about what she thought, but there was no real checkpoints and that was the point of this psychopathic game. How to question this literally, Anna wondered.
Any hard doubts she had about her theory were just simply malicious she thought, and since there was crazy brain hallucinations in her brain so strategically put together with the torture of the unbearable poison, it must be caused by someone else, and controlled in this way through the mind. Literal questions could only be left up to memory, and if she was to judge the quality of memory, it was truly very shallow. Are we supposed to remember more? The details of a memory only consisted of a few seconds, and longer memories seemed like they didn’t need to be accessed, because they were impressions and nothing intrusive, horrible, or disruptive happened within those memories. How long and how detailed is arbitrary to the memory, but psychopaths who happened to have access to a brain, whether this was a secret project of the immoral hacking of a human’s brain, and she became the victim; but thought, truly deeply, without being self-consolatorily guided thought, that the poisoning, manipulating, deceiving, and competing, if there was any, and this was an oddly specific thought that occurred to Anna after she had heard other people’s voices, why would it be casually introduced to a memory-altered, different looking, and somehow muted or mentally disrupted Anna that minds could be controlled like this?
The only explanation was that mind control was just invented, but that didn’t make sense or else recognition would be inevitable over time, especially after previous heinous experiments they had done to people. And the fact that this could suddenly be invented by evil people in the blocked out, no mental constructs world that Anna imagined, was absolutely frightening if this was the true order of the world. Not that it wouldn’t happen because it was evil succeeding, but that it would unfold like this under such consequences. Since Anna stayed, sane, she would be released and progress into the next stage of the game, which was a psychopathic preference to her by the game show people, who had put her and a thousand other contestants who were famous for a personal attribute of them. Unbeknownst to her, they were commenting on how their perceived, or at least before perceived, strengths and weaknesses were affecting their actions and how they thought about the most unbearable sensation ever. The game following it was utterly pornographic. To tease the contestants that what they wanted was really simple, and simply dumb, for example, compete to see what kind of art projects they could make according to the personality, and use this excuse to gaslight them into thinking they had nothing to do with the torture which couldn’t be explained in words. Whether others were forced to feel it in different conditions was up to the contestants to imagine, and after being traumatized, Anna realized that the effective communication which finally and thank God came couldn’t be reached, as most others were unresponsive and there was a stupid language barrier to the contestants from other parts of the world. Time should move faster, Anna thought, or was time slow and suffering, even the length of the days as displayed by technology, controlled and changed, by the psychopaths. And there was no other people except for the damaged contestants, and although they seemed to describe inarticulately the unexplainable, ordeal – horrors, unbearable, became tossed around as soon as someone else thought of the word, however, there seemed to be no way to express exactly, to what extent, and what rate this unbearable ‘poison,’ if it was at all such, or didn’t need to be characterized in this fake-world’s, worldly fashion. This, God forbid, was the way that the psychopaths were able to cover up their citations and the horrifically ideated events in which they celebrated the contestants’ suffering.
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