《最接近的陌生距離》完全版 - 02

死肥波TEAM KILL咗我!!

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點估到，平時無傷大雅嘅玩笑，呃下老師呢啲基本嘢但喺Miss Wong眼中原來係罪大惡極！

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頂呀，下馬威唔成，仲要比Miss Wong反殺，呢鑊真係咩面都冇晒！

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「⋯⋯我喺大學時主修中文，我會任教你地嘅中文科。」Miss Wong雙手撳住老師枱，背後黑板寫咗佢個名，佢用把好甜好溫柔嘅聲介紹緊自己。

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然後Miss慢慢轉tone，嚴肅咁講﹕「我知道你地呢班向來比較甩漏，我先小人後君子，我一定會嚴格教導你地。包括你地交上嚟嘅功課，邊個寫字核突既!我係必定會要佢重做!」

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可惡！佢竟然慢慢改變緊「廢超」時代規則! 搞到我愈諗愈嬲，頭先我點會咁樣輸比佢架？

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「謝子匡企好啲！唔准挨牆！」Miss Wong指住我嚟鬧，呢個狐假虎威嘅女人！你背後有周Sir撐腰先惡得起!

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正所謂擒賊先擒王，Miss Wong明顯想挫下我銳氣，拎返課室主導權。君子報仇，十年未晚嘅。嘅然輸咗，就好好咁檢討一下點解會衰咗！但係……我愈諗自己點解會輸，我就愈記起「嗰個」令我跌低嘅畫面——

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——Miss Wong彎身執起粉筆嗰下，佢緊致嘅裙好貼服咁將底褲嘅形狀印晒喺屁股度！我好肯定Miss Wong平時一定有做開運動，如果唔係個屁股點會好似水蜜桃咁靚呀！

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呢個時候，我終於記起我跌低前內心中嘅吶喊！

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「嘩！有冇咁正呀？！」

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女人嘅胸部代表性感，而屎忽就代表野性！平時睇開紀錄片都知，啲獅子乸撩啲公搞嘢時都係隊個屎忽埋去！所以一個女人屎忽有幾靚，就代表佢有幾野性，佢就有幾想去吸引男性，佢就有幾咁渴望滿足最原始嘅慾望！

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所以我絕對肯定Miss Wong一定係淫底！

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淫底、純情、嚴肅、溫柔⋯⋯呢個女教師會唔會太有層次啦？

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不過⋯⋯仆街，呢次老尷！

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一諗起Miss Wong個pat，我⋯⋯我竟然⋯⋯「某個地方變緊石頭」呀！

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「⋯⋯一陣喺黑板List出嘅嘢，你地要mark低。我唔希望聽日有人帶漏嘢！」

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趁佢擰轉身寫黑板時，我慢慢彎低身，如果我企到直一直，褲浪就好做搭咗帳幕咁撐晒出嚟！

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我理性不斷叫我唔好再諗Miss Wong個屎忽！我雙眼好定神咁望住個黑板睇下Miss Wong寫咗啲咩！呢次真係咁大個仔第一次咁認真望黑板！

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「書簿津貼表、學生個人八達申請表……」我由上而下咁望，我感覺到身體嘅血液流動緊，開始流返去個腦度。

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「課外活動申請表格、證件相、家長回條⋯⋯」我由右去左咁逐個字喺心入面讀出嚟。冇錯！呢個係一個有效令自己冷靜嘅方法！但係！Miss Wong寫字好似雕花咁靚！仲寫到鬼死咁慢！搞到我已經追返上佢嘅進度！令我個注意力又返去佢度！

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「預習中文：第一課⋯⋯」佢喺黑板上勾勒出好靚嘅中文字。

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佢寫緊嗰段字好長，搞到佢一路寫，一路慢慢蹲低個身。緊致嘅裙上面慢慢顯露出臀部個美態。

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而我啲血⋯⋯又去咗「某個地方」啦!

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「Miss!」呢個時候阿偉突然舉手！

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「係！」Miss Wong轉身望住阿偉：「黃同學，咩事呢？」

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我望住阿偉，佢嘴角含笑。我知佢呢下笑絕對唔係啲咩好事！

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「Miss 唔好意思，你遮住左啲字。」

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「Sorry﹗」Miss Wong笑一笑，本來佢想移一移開個身，但因為咁令佢目光放咗喺我度，我見佢面色一變，翹起雙手，好不滿咁話﹕「謝子匡！要我講咗幾多次？企直啲呀！」

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我望去奸笑緊嘅阿偉！呢條友仔竟然落井下石！我企直啲，咁Miss Wong未見到我扯緊旗？！

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阿偉全心靠害呀﹗佢意猶未盡，仲比咗個眼色杰少，叫佢望過嚟食花生！杰少已經忍笑忍到成塊面都紅晒！

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「係咪聽唔到我講咩，企直啲呀！」Miss。

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太可惡！唔通我又要衰多次？我一企直個人就出硬醜！咁我喺呢班嘅威信就會蕩然無存！我可以點做呢？

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啊——！有計！

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「Miss Wong，我⋯⋯我想去廁所！」

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佢既冷漠又半信半疑地講：「唔得。」

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「但⋯⋯但我急屎呀！」

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「哦。」

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「我會瀨架！」

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「企直啲呀！」Miss首次喺班上怒吼一聲，佢忍夠我無賴一樣嘅行為。

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咁樣僵持落去唔係辦法，惟有聽佢話。我故意慢慢企直返個人，其實係buy time可以冷靜返。但我個如意算盤打唔響，當Miss Wong擰返去黑板寫字時，我注意力好自然去返落佢個pat度！我根本冷靜唔到呀！我想再彎腰，但嚟唔切！

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「Miss ！」呢次係杰少舉手，佢滿懷惡作劇咁講：「阿匡又企唔直啦！」

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Miss Wong對我怒目而視嗰刻，喺危機感之下令我睇嘅嘢都好似放慢晒咁。我本能地企直返個人，此時眼角瞄到阿偉原來已經有所動作。

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阿偉成個人擰晒過嚟，食姆兩指扣住條橡筋，左手將粒擦膠放喺橡筋度，再拉滿弓！

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太遲了。當我意會到呢一點時、當我企直個人時、當我感到下面嘅「帳幕」撐到好「行」晒嗰時——

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阿偉左手一鬆———哨——！有一個白色快影喺佢手中射出！

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啪——！

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「嘩———！！」我掩住下體成個人跪低咗，連聲痛叫！

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Miss Wongs一面疑惑咁走埋嚟，睇佢表情明顯被我激到好嬲。

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今次我係被人坑害！我想為自己辯護，但我已經痛到控制唔到個嘴，只係連忙咁叫：「爆咗⋯⋯爆咗……」

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Miss Wong喺我幾尺外企定，兩手抱胸，一面忍無可忍。

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但係⋯⋯

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我對眼只係注意到佢嗰兩條性感嘅黑絲長腿。

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剎那間我啲血又集中喺「某一處」地方。

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= = = =

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唉⋯⋯⋯

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呢次真係失威。身為冧咗莊幾年嘅A班班會會長，竟然喺9月1日呢個咁重要嘅日子，輸比個新班主任！我冇諗到呢個世界竟然會有呢種老師會咁樣拎返班房主導權！有啲老師會同我開晒片。又有啲老師會同我鬥智鬥力。更有啲老師會選擇同我合作，大家好嚟好去。但好似Miss Wong 呢種以本傷人地對我進行心理打擊嘅老師就真係第一次見！

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最後我拉埋阿偉、杰少落水，再加埋上堂瞓覺嘅阿波，我地四兄弟被Miss Wong罰喺小息時喺「臭格」——訓導室外面罰企。

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Miss Wong真係識揀地方，搵正周Sir地頭去招呼我地四個。聽住周Sir點樣片到個大隻仔尊嚴崩潰嚎啕大哭，都咪話唔心寒。

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呢個時候Miss Wong喺教員室忙完，出嚟招呼我地四個。

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「企好啲啦！」Miss Wong仍然好鬼惡死，明明佢唔惡嘅時候好吸引人，做咩搞到自己咁神憎鬼厭呢？

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「Miss，我都係fake咗你唧。唔洗咁吓話？」我有啲唔忿氣，以前「廢超」都係咁樣比我玩架啦！

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Miss Wong翹埋雙手，冷冷咁微笑，話：「其他老師講過，4A班入面有四個學生最難搞。本來我預咗要花啲時間先觀察到。但估唔到你地四個今日就自己企晒出嚟。」

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「Miss！」阿偉舉手：「嚴格來講，係阿匡搞到我地被你spot住咗喎。」

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「我最多係瞓覺咋！」阿波。

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「我頭先幫手篤灰咋喎。」杰少。

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Miss Wong繼續冷笑，睇嚟佢好自信咁以為已經掌握到我地四個，佢繼續話：「其他老師提我，有一位叫謝子匡嘅問題學生好鍾意做風頭躉。佢身邊有三位跟班。只要捉到謝子匡就可以將呢個犯罪集團一網打盡。」

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Miss Wong企喺我面前，下巴輕輕咁抬高，好睥睨咁望住我。我梗係不甘示弱，盯撚實住佢。估唔到呢個女人望落好甜好靚原來咁有女王既氣勢。

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正正係呢個時候，一把洪亮嘅男人聲介入咗我同Miss Wong之間。

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「謝子匡！係咪想入訓導室傾？」呢把男人聲一聽就知係周Sir。佢凶完我之後就懶係好紳士咁同Miss講：「Miss Wong，使唔使我幫手？」

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「唔使。」Miss Wong對住周Sir個態度唔同晒，輕輕一笑，然後嚴厲咁望返我，繼續講：「我跟返自己班就得。」

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然後周Sir臨走前，向我拎多個尾彩：「你試吓玩嘢，我實招呼你。」

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我不忿咁望住離開緊嘅周Sir，之後我聽到Miss Wong嚴厲咁話：「望住我！」

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Miss Wong見我望返佢時，佢話：「我其實唔鍾意罰學生。你地四個守返規矩的話，我係唔會為難你地。始終你地係我嗰班嘅學生，我會好好睇實你地。」佢呢句聽落係好真心、好令人舒服⋯⋯但係！呢個係佢收賣人心嘅技巧嚟！

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「好多老師對你地四個好有意見，特別係你，謝子匡。」Miss指一指我，繼續話：「喺我未正識入職前，已經有老師提醒我，你係非常難教。」

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「哼！」我冷冷一笑，一面唔在乎地話：「係呀，成間學校最差係我嘛。一早知架啦！」

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我之所以唔在乎，因為由細到大我都比老師話慣。即使我冇做錯事，都會將問題推落我度！我諗惟一個原因，係我天生個樣生得串同反叛掛。

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「就算所有老師都放棄你。你都唔可以放棄自己！」Miss Wong竟然因為我發悔氣而鬧我：「即使比人睇死都好，你都要爭氣呀！」

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然後Miss Wong注意力放返喺阿偉佢地身上，嚴肅嘅神色慚慚消退，我慢慢感受到佢面上有一點寬容。佢話：「我相信你地本性唔壞。我一定會教好你地四個！」

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唔係吓話，咁熱血？咁有信心？哈⋯⋯果然係啱啱畢業嘅新手。我地四兄弟好自然咁互相望下大家，我地同一時間心諗﹕「Miss Wong實在太天真！」

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我係唔會信佢。呢個世界邊有好老師架?

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「首先我要教識你地一件事——責任心！謝子匡！」Miss Wong如鷹銳利嘅眼神望住我：「咁鍾意做大哥啊嗱？你以後就係班長！你幫我管理課堂秩序，以後如果班上面有咩事都會入你數。」

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「吓？！咩話！」痴線架咩？咁我未即係啲淪陷國家嘅傀儡元首？幫人管理埋個國家？嘩！呢招好毒！

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「你『吓』咩呀？」Miss Wong好不滿我個反應，就話：「係咪想做多D嘢呀？」

咁即係有咩事要我做二五仔篤啲手足出嚟？！正當我想反駁時，阿偉就頂一頂我手肘，叫我咪咁多嘢講。

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然後Miss Wong食埋個勢，要阿偉就做各科科長，杰少就負責課室清潔，阿波就係膳食長專幫手派Lunch。

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頂你呀，開學日真係慘敗收場！我唔只喪失咗個主導權，仲要被Miss Wong俘虜，搞到我地四兄弟比佢奴役！

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班⋯⋯班長？竟然要我呢個瀟灑嘅浪子做班長？！簡直係奇恥大辱呀！

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哼⋯⋯唔係你想話點就點嘅！我唔返學，你奈得我咩何？

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