
1.Sorey wake
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The white ceiling with the peaceful environment and the smell of antiseptic potion is strangely long-lost, but I can't remember the last time I was in this environment.
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There is only ambient noise and mechanical sounds all around, adding to the sense of tranquility. I followed the source of the sound and looked around, looking for clues from distant noises.
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The distant noise came from a nearby window, with the curtains open to let in sunlight. Outside the window is a decrepit landscape, and collapsed houses can be seen everywhere. There are dozens of collapsed houses in the picture framed in the window alone. But this scene does not lose its vitality. That's because there are many people helping to carry building materials, which is the source of noises. People are rebuilding, and their faces are not desperate.
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After confirming that the environment outside was safe, I turned my eyes to the nearby mechanical noise. With the sound coming from the machinery around me, surrounded by medical equipment and wearing a hospital gown, I came to the conclusion that I was being treated. However, what kind of injury was it, and what happened before this is not clear to me. Whenever I try to recall, my head hurts very much, and all that comes out are fragmented and disordered memory fragments.
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There was a comatose girl on the bed next to me, maybe she came in at the same time as me for treatment. Her condition seems to be much worse than mine. She wears an oxygen mask to maintain her breathing. She has small tubes attached to her abdomen and wrist. The end of the tubes is connected to a drip and a machine.
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What happened to make her receive such treatment?
Why was I, who was relatively lightly injured, put in the same room as her?
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I am curious about her.
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I wanted to get out of bed and get a closer look at her, but I was also hooked up to an IV injection and a heartbeat monitor. After thinking about it for a while, I tore off the detection sticker of the heartbeat monitor and pulled the removable bracket with the IV injection to her bedside.
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When I got closer, I could see her appearance and the posture of being restrained on the bed by the instrument.
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She has long black hair and fairly thick eyelashes. When the air is exhaled into the oxygen mask, I can hear the rhythm of breathing evenly. Her expression is also stable as her breath. She is sleeping peacefully on the hospital bed.
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I feel like this person should be someone I know but I can't recall who she was.
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"Who are you?"
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I always felt like I had seen her somewhere, and my head was like telling me to remember this person, but every time I thought about it, I had a strong headache.
I unconsciously pressed my hand to my head to suppress the headache, and then I felt the gauze-like material.
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That's it... I hit my head before I got here.
Is it also because of this that I can't remember?
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Just as I was trying to think why, a scream interrupted my thinking.
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"Ah... Mr. Sorey, you are awake, but you can't move, please go back to bed."
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Turning around, I found that a person in a white nurse uniform was telling me to go back to bed.
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I learned from her words that my name was 'Sorey', and I was probably in a coma for a while.
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"...Okay, who is this person next to me?"
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"? Sorry, I can't disclose other patients' information without permission. I will find a doctor to follow up on your situation as soon as possible."
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I wanted to ask more, but I noticed that she had large dark circles under her eyes and her tone was a little irritable. She might have been working all night without rest for several days, not in the mood to deal with individual patients' problems, or maybe she didn't know the answers I wanted.
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So I gave up the questioning, went back to my bed obediently, and continued to try to recall, looking for her figure.
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2. Velvet in the dream?
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I don't know when it started, I went back to "my home" after I woke up, my sister was beside me I was told to take a shower and then have dinner.
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I did as told, and came to the table. There were 4 people sitting there, my sister, my brother, and my brother-in-law. . . There is also a man who calls himself grandpa.
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"What are you doing standing there? Come and have dinner together." The elder sister's call had a nostalgic feeling, but at the same time, it was very unreal. After all, I clearly remember the fact that my sister has died.
Under the premise of knowing the facts, this is just an illusory and sweet dream.
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"Velvet, come and sit together, without you, the dinner can't start." The old man sitting at the table waved to me.
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"But I'm not hungry yet."
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"But I'm hungry!"
. . . The old man was clamoring for food like a child.
Is that the kind of person who gets older and younger? Wasn't he like this when he was young?
He's obviously a reliable older brother in the past, but here he acts like he doesn't care his age.
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"..." I sighed and reluctantly walked to the seat next to him and sat down.
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Picking up the spoon to pick up the still warm soup, I tasted the salty taste, and it really was a dream.
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"Does it taste good?" My sister asked with a smile.
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"Yes, it tastes good," I replied with a smile, thinking I had forgotten the taste. The taste is very vague, but I feel the same taste as I remember in my mind.
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Dinner ended without a hitch, and I didn't initiate any change-causing topics after all. I took up the dishes after dinner and thought to myself about my next steps.
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What action should be taken to leave the dream?
After experiencing too many mental attacks and intrusions I became able to clearly feel the nature of dreams.
I probably feel that I can be separated from the dream, and feel that I am a foreign object in the dream.
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Peaceful leisure feels very different, I can't find my role here, and I have absolutely no intention of staying here.
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I shouldn't stay here.
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After dinner, everyone is doing their own thing, my sister is knitting, my brother and brother-in-law are reading, and 'grandpa' is sitting on the sofa and watching me.
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I was about to go out after washing the dishes but was immediately blocked.
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"Velvet, are you going there so late?" The older sister naturally asked the reason.
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"...Just go for a walk."
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"It's very dangerous for a girl to be outside at night. If you have to go out, let me follow you?" said the brother-in-law.
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"No, I want to be alone."
I want to explore here as soon as possible to find a way to leave.
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"You're really impatient, child." The old man said with a hidden meaning. I felt that he was not just a dream character. If it was just a dream, he wouldn't be here. He is not someone who exists in my past memories. Claudin is someone I know after waking up in this era, and he had basically no direct relationship with me in the past.
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"...Speaking of who you are, why are you eating here with us?"
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"Velvet? You? Did you bump your head? He's Mr. Claudin, who's been with us since last week, Arthur's master, your grandpa-in-swordsmanship." Celica explained the setting like an NPC, and at this point, I guess she was just A dream character made by my subconscious mind.
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But...it's this kind of setting...
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"If you have any concerns, you can chat with me at any time, don't be shy, I'm your elder sister." The elder sister patted her heart and said.
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"You can also chat with me, I'm your grandpa!" The old man made the same action as his sister, expressing that he was a trustworthy member.
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. . . I don't have the impression of being your granddaughter, and I don't understand what he wants to do.
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It looked like they didn't want me to go out alone, so I dismissed the idea and said I'd go back to my room.
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. . . . Just go out quietly in the middle of the night.
With that in mind, I stayed until late at night and tried to go out again when everyone was supposed to be asleep.
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And when I was about to pass the living room to the door of the house, I saw Claudin and Artorius sitting on the sofa, both of them watching me.
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“Going out at such a late hour?"
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"...None of your business."
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"Velvet is such a hot-tempered kid." Claudin said with a smile like "the First escape attempt".
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You can't do anything even if you wake up now, and you can't wake up now." Claudin changed his relaxed expression and said in a more serious tone.
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"Why?"
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"Your body can't stand your intense use. After you take the banned drug, as time progresses, all internal organs have entered a weakened state due to overwork, including the brain, so your body will not allow you to Wake up." Artorius explained rationally.
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As he explained, I understood that he was not the figure in the dream, but the soul of the man who came to me with the power contract of "void", just like Claudin.
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" And I can't let you wake up like this."
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"...why?" I asked with confusion and anger after knowing that he was the real Artorius instead of pure questioning.
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"Because now you lose your goal , can't wake you up like this until you find your next goal."
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"...!?"
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"...so you stay 'here' until you get your 'health' back, at least, enjoy the dream ?" Claudin patted my head arbitrarily and started pulling me back to my room.
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"...Sleep early, get up early for training tomorrow."
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"...! I see, good night."
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"Good." The two smiled and said to me.
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I don't know why, when I heard Artorius say that tomorrow he would train me, I became obedient unconsciously, I gave up the plan to leave the house in the middle of the night and went to sleep obediently.
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Maybe this is also caused by a subconscious habit. , when he was living with me, he would also say to let me go to bed earlier.
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Although the training was hard, I felt that what he taught me was useful. I also tried my best to contribute to the family and protect my younger brother as soon as possible. Try to learn from him. He taught me everything he knew was useful to me, he was always my respected brother and teacher, and I trusted him a lot.
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So...I used to obey him, and I was shaken by my obedience to his instructions, and the next 'morning' came to me.
Even though I was done with my revenge, I couldn't easily calm down. For him who has been working hard for us. Vengeance will not make what he did go away. The completion of revenge is a ritual to let go of my emotion toward him, and it is also to eliminate the last concern in life. After the revenge, there is nothing left in the life of the Avengers, as it should be, but I am still alive and he is still there, which is probably a funny ending. Did the gods want me to be friendly with him again after arranging that cruel thing?
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"Today's class is about to start."
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His words started my day like a program.
I'm disgusted by the fact that I've followed my habit, but now that I'm finally out of the house, it's kind of progress.
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The garden outside the house is what I have long forgotten. There are only the tombstones of my parents. Here is a small and warm place with a flowerbed that has been carefully cared for by my sister.
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"Do you have anything else to teach me?" Is there anything else to teach me now? Involuntarily, I asked Artorius in front of me sullenly. You wished for me to die and to be eaten, until this state I don’t think he treats me as his student, I used the technique taught by him, evolve it into my technique with battles, and eventually killed him.
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Even if revenge is completed, it cannot erase what he has done.
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Although I treat him as a family member, our relationship will never go back to the way it was before.
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Some things can't be turned back, they will leave a permanent rift that can't be repaired.
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Why are you still here now? In front of me?
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"Maybe there's really nothing to teach..."
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"Huh?"
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Hey, are you kidding? Why did you call me out?
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"But, during this time, you can't leave this world, so I'm going to tell you the rules of this world."
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"...?"
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"Velvet, you may not realize the seriousness of the matter, it's not just your dream here. ."
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"This is the junction of life and death." The old man walked out of the house slowly, announcing a message that sounded bad.
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3. Sorey 2
I don't know how long it has been, the house is deserted and only the sound of the instrument is working. In a somewhat impatient room, after the door opened, it became lively.
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"Sorey!" The boy with long curly blue hair came to my bed with a quick step but not knocking over the things in the room.
He looked at me with a look of joy and worry. Me, it feels like we are important to each other. It would be sad if he knew that I lost my memory, but I must not be able to get over him, my mind told me intuitively.
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"...Mikleo?" Looking at the few clear fragments in my mind, I vaguely know his name....and the names of other traveling companions, vaguely remember that they had an important journey with me, but there is still no name of the girl in the same room in my vague memory.
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"...It's true, the doctor said you lost your memory." He said a little lost, it's a very sad thing to be forgotten by someone important.
"... ...Yes, but I vaguely remember the names of you and the other companions, and know that you guys are my important companions."
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"Just the name...well, that's enough." He replied and smiled helplessly, accepting the fact I forgot the memory with them.
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Later, the room welcomed others one after another.
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"Mibo is so impatient." The girl with a side ponytail entered the room with an umbrella and others.
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"... .Edna..., Lailah,..... Zaveid."
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"Oh, at least the name is remembered~," the shirtless man said with a smile.
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"This is also a bond." The woman with long shiver hair said with a smile.
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They're all people I've traveled with, my instinct tells me so.
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That trip must have been something very important and deeply etched in my mind, so I don't completely forget about everyone.
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But that's the only thing I know... The rest I don't understand at all.
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About what kind of journey, why am I here now, why am I having amnesia?
I don't understand anything about these things.
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"Maybe you are confused about the current situation, don't rush to think about it, I will try my best to tell you what you want to know." Mikleo seemed to understand I thought about it, trying to clear my confusion.
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"Thank you, then....please tell me who that person is?"
I pointed to the person in the same room who never woke up.
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I couldn't remember her name, But I just remembered that she is also one of the people I treasured. I am more curious about her than I want to understand the current situation.
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After hearing the question, Mikleo replied with a puzzled wry smile:
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"I don't know much about her, and it's not clear where to start, but her name is Velvet Crowe."
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"You have gathered us in this age against an enemy that can destroy the world. You were traveling with this person before this, and you desperately tried to save her, and she joined and fought against that enemy with us later. These are roughly what I know so far, the rest may be explained more clearly by Edna. "
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"Is it up to me?" You knew everything, but I don't think I should tell you now." Mikleo said Edna knew something about the two of us, but she refused to reveal it, perhaps because it would be tantamount to revealing too much to a stranger, with the concern for Privacy and important information. She would rather I get to know her from scratch than unilaterally reveal information, maybe thinking that it would be rude to the comatose person, or just find it annoying, I think the latter is a big factor.
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"...However, you have no memory, why are you still obsessed with her?" Zaveid asked half-doubted.
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"...I don't know, but my intuition tells me She's important, and I think I know her."
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"You're right, you both value each other. You tried to save her, and she tried to save you. You are still alive now thanks to her doing artificial respiration for you, otherwise, your brain will be deprived of oxygen for a longer time. "
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"Wait. . Why didn't I hear you say these things?" Mikleo said nervously.
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"No. . . At that time, the situation was so urgent that I was not allowed to say so much. What were you nervous about? "
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These interesting things should have been shared with us sooner!" Lailah said a little excitedly.
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"No, I might understand why Zavied didn't say it." . . It's the most interesting thing to wait for the two people at the time to wake up and talk about it. " Edna added, tempted to make the air into chaos.
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"You really understand fun, Edna~"
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". . Not to mention is it interesting. . . This is Sorey's first kiss! "Mikleo is very helpless to their willfulness, and his focus is only on Sorey's happiness.
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“After all these things, is that what you are concerned about? Wow, such a girly side~” Edna taunted at Mikleo.
"Ah. . . Could it be that you actually want to give Sorey artificial respiration in person if you arrived early? " Lailah laugh with a clapped hand, thinking of something strange.
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“Umm………..” Mikleo shyly dropped his head as he listened to these comments.
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". . . But this is not really interesting. Only people with breathing and cardiac arrest need artificial respiration. She can do this without hesitation. It is also commendable. When time is lost, it is lost forever. " Although the group was in a happy mood, Zaveid stated the fact of the necessity and emergency of the artificial respiration.
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“After all, she clearly knows the weight of life," Edna commented in a relatively serious tone, giving a positive comment to Velvet.
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"She does take Sorey-san so seriously~ "
It seems like Lailah is viewing that in another strange aspect.
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I can hear that maybe no one knows her very well, but she is trusted and liked.
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There may be complicated reasons behind it that my companions can't easily say anything about her, but she must be a great person.
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Speaking of which, what is ‘artificial respiration '?
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The word evokes fragmentary memories of an old man in a cabin teaching me and another woman who seemed to be ‘She’.
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It is an act that requires an awake person to blow air on comatose person mouth-to-mouth. Comatose people cannot breathe on their own so they need an external stimulus to activate breathing again... It is not difficult to understand why people always like to associate it with The actions of kissing, the action is basically the same externally, and now I am thinking about it, and I also think of this direction.
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Sure enough, I have a connection with her, but it should be more than that simple bond. Just being from the same classroom is not enough to make her become an important being to me. It's not enough for her to act desperately to save me... It's not enough for her to even forget about 'mouth-to-mouth contact with the opposite sex' to give me artificial respiration.
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My curiosity has increased a little, and I feel a little closer to her.
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I really want to know about her.
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……………………
4. the junction of life and death
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The junction of life and death.
Sounds like an uncomfortable noun, it sounds like I've entered a state of near death but not dead.
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Here I maintain my consciousness, but I can't control the world.
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It makes me feel even more insecure.
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" Do you understand what's going on?"
Arthur asked.
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"I understand that this is not the place to wander, but I don't want to stop here either. "
It's not that you're stuck here forever, but you won't wake up until you're better." At least think about your future plans here. "
Future plans, are the word that overwhelms me.
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" Velvet, you didn't think about what happened after that, did you. "
This is actually an affirmative sentence in tone, not a question sentence, so correct that I can't refute it. I still have no plans for the future. Although I plan to live, I still have the premise of dying somewhere in my heart, thinking that I am not worthy of having a future.
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What's more, I am an ancient person who came to the future world and still has too much knowledge to understand, so I cannot easily connect with this world.
"Yes. "
"You're going to see the situation beside Sorey first, aren't you?" "
...from another point of view, it's not wrong.
" Although the boy is reliable, it is too dangerous to bet all on him. You should also find the basic goal. Otherwise, your soul can easily be pulled away by this world. "
Indeed...I may have become too reliant on Sorey without realizing it, such dependence will not have any good results, it will just repeat the previous events.
... After my sister's death, it is precise because the responsibility and love I put into Laphi, made me completely collapse when he was killed.
Then the same thing will happen again when Sorey is killed this time.
No matter what Artorius says, I will only respond with silence, Claudin didn't say anything to break the situation. But now, why do you still care about me?
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"...So...let's talk about what you want to do first? Is there anything you like?"
The thing I wanna do...that's of course...that's of course...?
"Um...I...!!" I thought to answer but I found that the answer can't be formed at all...I have forgotten what I wanted to do and what I liked, and slowly disappeared somewhere when I was trying to take care of Laphi. All the time I was doing things I should do. I gave up long ago, and I can't remember the past, what I like and what dreams I had.
That's what I don't have, but Sorey has very clear preferences and dreams, which may be part of my longing for him.
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"...Well, you don't know...then one of the goals after this is to get back what you love. Try something different, and hopefully, you can get back what you lost."
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…strange, I haven't spoken since just now, but he read my thoughts like a mind reader.
"Well, it's similar to what you think, and I've lived with you for seven years, so I understand you to some extent. This is one of the skills I want to teach you, to see the mind of the master of the world in the spiritual world. This way you will be more likely to survive when you are drawn into such a world in the future.”
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…As if to say that you want me to Survive, if he has this skill, it is useless for me to hide anything. But even if I let him know, he can't make much of an impact.
I followed his instructions and learned from him in the following time, even though this skill was only vaguely superficial, I gradually began to feel the information that other people didn't say, and I could also feel the deep guilt he had towards me.
* " You see, we all made mistakes ."
I remembered what Claudin said when I obtained the 'Power of Void', Artorius must have been there because he knew his own mistakes.
The power I inherited there and what comes with ‘The duty’ will not go away, maybe after this, I should live like an exorcist who helps others.
"Don't be bound by duty, you have already done great enough." Claudin may be aware of my thoughts, he gave me words to remind me.
"I've said it before, sustain or destroy, do as you wish , you just have to live with your heart."
This easy way of life sounds hard to me to execute.
Can someone like me live carefreely? I can't, sad habit, sad guilt, I can't get out of the process of thinking about ‘qualifications’ before exercising anything. This peace alone makes me restless, I don't feel like I have a place here.
"Velvet, I thank you so much for setting Tartarus and Vermillion free, and I hope you get free from your curse. "
"Please listen to your heart and live according to your wish."
Curse. . . It's not that I'm clueless, I think I've become a twisted person, and I don't feel like I can go back. If I don't like myself, I probably won't be able to treat the people around me well. Someday I will hurt them again.
Claudin made sincere gratitude and blessing because I ended the only thing he has regrets, so he also wants me to be happy, human beings are like this.
"This is also My wish as a grandfather."
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"I still don't understand why you became my grandfather."
"On the student's 'family tree', you are the student of my lovely apprentice, as the granddaughter of the apprentice, and I feel you Quite cute . When I was alive, I didn't have time to take care of my son and granddaughter. When I was in exile, I couldn't visit them. I couldn't help but take care of you when I saw you are so cute~"
. . Actually, you want me to take care of you, aren’t you?
No, why do you even think I'm cute?
"This is my waywardness, do you hate it?" He said with a little sadness and a little relief.
Human beings are wayward after all, but not every waywardness makes people Hate, like this kind of warm feeling in the heart.
Is it really good to be so gentle to me?
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"No, I don't hate it."
Although I don't feel qualified to have this warmth, the people around me always work hard to make me feel that I can be happy, and I don't hate their willfulness.
"Maybe it's almost time to wake up..." Artorius looked at the sky and sighed at the passage of time. After the special training, we almost ignored the passage of time. We didn't pay attention to it. Time seemed to return to the time when we lived together before, and he just treated me as my brother and teacher.
But in the end, I couldn't take a step out within the scope of my home, I also couldn't find my role in this peace.
"It's all over, do you want to step out and see?" He understood what I was thinking and pointed to the outside space with a smile.
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“okay ......" I took a few steps forward, looked back at him, and asked, "...Aren't you coming with me?"
This is probably a habit, it's not that I didn't hate him, but The brother-in-law I used to love is indeed here.
- He used to help me in times of danger, and if he really wants to help me, I want to trust him once more.
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Try to move forward with him who hurt me badly, and I will be able to find the answer I want.
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"If you want." Then he walks behind me.
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5. secret conversation between the sinners
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That was a behind conversation after Velvet fell asleep, unknowingly, the two of them talked guiltily.
"I didn't know you were so childish, master." Artorius smiled wryly.
"Because as long as I am strongly requesting, she tends to be submissive. In this way, she will feel that can’t resist my request~ And this is more interesting, like the interaction between grandfather and granddaughter, I haven't been able to do this for a long time. I also hope she can feel this family feeling again, after all, I also have some ‘Responsibility’ about her."
Artorius did not expect the teacher to attribute the responsibility to himself, he believed that it was always his own responsibility, all the actions that tormented Velvet were carried out with his own permission, and despair was never an excuse to make others miserable. Sobering up from despair, he realized what a serious mistake he had made. It was simply a sin implanted in Velvet's soul, and she would have to bear the burden of being forced to commit under intense emotion, and All kinds of crimes committed voluntarily by giving up herself.
"It's not your responsibility, master, but my weakness."
Because of his weakness, he was desperate, and despair made him do such an inhuman act. He would even prefer Velvet and Laphicet to die instead of his dear wife and the son in her body, what a shameful thought.
A filthy thought that neither a brother nor a human should have.
In order to be able to face velvet and Laphi, in order to be strong enough to create a world where no one is sad anymore... He wiped out his own feelings.
The absolute rationality and the power of his oath that Arotrius obliterated his feelings at the time caused the disorder brought by Velvet. When the oath was broken by death, Artorius, who left his soul in the sword, felt infinite regret.
Fortunately, Velvet survived.
"...you feel that it is your responsibility, but do you only hold guilt towards her?" Claudin did not want to prevent the student from blaming himself, which is necessary for the student, without such thinking there would be no Zrtorius, and he could no longer be redeemed.
Claudin asked With Artorius, he doesn't want Artorius to be possessed only by guilt, because Velvet is also Artorius' family.
"That probably holds most of it, but at the same time because I am also a brother to her. The thought that she can no longer show that sunflower-like smile, I feel very heartache. I knew it was absolutely impossible for her to accept Laphi's death, and I also knew that she had a strong resistance to killing. I used her emotions to guide her to such a future so that she would never be free from guilt. She was just a child who tried hard to make the people around her happy..."
He couldn't help but become choked up at this point, and he realized again that he had taken everything from her, but he wanted her to live with almost nothing left.
She doesn't have any family left, but he wants her to survive.
Even if the hometown is left by Maotelus, it is only a place that exists in name only, and a place with no one can no longer be called ‘her Hometown’, it was just memories.
Fortunately, there are people who remember her existence, those who have been helped by her, those who want to help her, and those who love her.
In this era, she has unknowingly gained, but she doesn’t dare to own it.
She didn't want to value herself, she always wanted to punish herself, she always wanted to sacrifice herself to repay the people around her, and she always doubted her own life. Although she has helped many people in terms of results, she has also left herself scarred. This distortion has brought her into a near-death state many times. It was the ruthlessness of Artorius that caused her distorted psychology.
” ........Then this time to be a good brother and guide her correctly, this is what you should do next, right?"
Claudin couldn't comfort the student who was remorseful for his sins, he could only let him recognize the direction that should go forward.
"Well... so that she can live without hating herself."
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- Sorey3
I am again staying in this ward today. The sun shines through the curtains. Today is also a sunny day.
A month has passed, but not much has changed. The town is still in the stage of rejuvenation. Outside the window, the collapsed buildings I saw can gradually be seen as the outline of normal buildings, and that is the only thing that makes me feel that time is flowing.
I don't know exactly what is going on outside, and my former companions didn't plan to tell me, just sharing funny things sometimes.
In this ward, apart from visits and physical examinations, I have a lot of time alone, enough for me to slowly recall my lost memories.
It is thanks to Mikleo, I was able to fully recall what happened when I was a Shepherd. When Mikleo came to visit, he would bring a book called "Celestial Record" and explain it to me one by one.
He said it was a promise to me, at the same time to teach me the words in this era.
This allowed me to get the imagination of various places and the outside world even when I was in the ward.
In the middle of the journey of imagination, the memories of discussing books with Mikleo when I was a child and the memories of going to various places with my companions also surfaced one by one. Although the journey as a shepherd was painful somehow, the time with everyone was a joy. Yes, if I have another chance, I would like to go on a trip with everyone.
At the end of the trip, I fell into a deep sleep in order to purify the tainted Lord Maotelus. I vaguely remember that after that I was in a completely white space with a giant dragon alone, he didn't do anything to me, we just kept chatting for that infinite time.
The memory was blurry again, but I always felt like I heard about you from a dragon.
Today you're still asleep, and I can't help but start imagining what it was like when you and I started talking.
"I really want to talk to you."
The only thing that responded to me was the electronic beeps of the heartbeat monitor and ventilators beside your bed.
Although You have been in a coma, several people have been visiting you, two of them are seraphim, a woman and a boy.
The woman's name is Eleanor, although she has also come as a visitor, we don't have many topics. She would sometimes tell me about the situation outside, but many times she would be sent in as a patient, all because of overwork. Speaking of being sent in, my companions who came to see me usually couldn't help but say a few words to her. She will respond with a wry smile "I'll pay attention next time." and will be sent in shortly after. Lailah among my companions seems to be familiar with her and sometimes chats with her about women's topics, chatting with her. They tend to forget that I'm in the same ward when they chat in a hot mood.
The boy's name is LAPHICET, he says he doesn't have a job, for the time being, so he comes to visit you every day, and then chats with me by the way. When I bring out my "Celestial Record" and chat with him, he'll start talking about how each place has changed from the past to the present. There seem to be a lot of stories to talk about there, he is the second friend after Mikleo who may have a hot chat to lead me to forget everything. His knowledge is so rich, sometimes I think he is someone very great, but I would forget about it as I chat with him, maybe that's all I don't need to worry about.
He told me that he also had an unforgettable trip, and I asked what kind of trip it was.
He was surprised and puzzled at first, and then he started talking like he understood everything.
It's about your journey, and there are all sorts of interesting things and sad things, but you still choose to move forward. The roles aren't the same, but in a way, we've made similar choices.
The end of the journey is sad, and it has the same sad end as my journey---we both took the initiative to sacrifice ourselves to go into a slumber to save everything, a slumber we may never wake.
"Although it is sad, now, here again, seeing both of you alive makes me feel very happy." The boy said this, I always feel that I have known him since before.
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"Let's go on a trip together later, to see what the world has become." I looked at the distant sky, imagining the other side of the mountain. This time, I will not be a Shepherd to enjoy an ordinary trip.
"Well, I'm looking forward to it!" The boy laughed like a child.
I looked at you who were still sleeping over there, and imagined how I should send an invitation.
I really want to travel with you …again.
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6. out of home
My brother-in-law and I stepped out of this house that protected our home like a barrier. The scenery outside was twilight. It looked like my village, but it felt like it was not the same place I knew.
---There are many more people here, some were not the villagers I knew.
The moment I stepped out, their eyes suddenly gathered, and what I could feel most strongly was the hatred and killing intent. They may be the daemons that I killed at the beginning, or they may have been influenced by me. people. The air is full of uncomfortable feelings, being watched, locked, and the whole feeling makes this hometown that I should be most familiar with becoming another unfamiliar place, as cold as a prison. The hatred is strong, it was enough to make me feel dizzy and even a little suffocated. Maybe I would have been killed by these resentments if I had walked out of 'my house' like this, but still, no one here attempted to hurt me.
Strangely, I was relieved at the same time, because of the resentment I received.
Maybe it was my guilt to live, for the expectation of victims' resentment towards me who was still alive.
Though, I am not allowed to throw away my life. Thus, I had to answer their resentment alive with pain.
Artorius softly patted my shoulder, abruptly stopping my thought. He said nothing but showed a sad expression. He tried to say something but in the end, he didn't, cause he doesn't think he has a position to say it.
Looking around, there are some familiar faces, neighbors….and the 4 exorcists I killed.
They didn't change the outlook, the shirtless swordsman Shigure, Teresa with Blonde Wavy Curls, her little brother Oscar and fat Melchior with his big hat.
They probably shared the same value to fight for the greater' good, except for Shigure, I don't know him at all.
Even if there were dirty works, if that was for the greater' good, they held no disagreement. Melchior was the first one to initiate those filthy projects, and he held mostly no emotion like humans.
From the stance of the enemy, killer and victims, I expect malice, but unexpectedly, malice wasn't all they hold now.
"Yo, a rare guest here, interesting~" Shigure's tone is similar to Rokurou, straightforward and without malice, maybe that's what makes them brothers. He was the only person among the 4 exorcists who had not released malice towards me, and it doesn't change.
"Never think of your survival, well, you are in a dying state now though." Thorns in Teresa's words were sent with the information of my state. We used to be hostile, and I killed her brother Oscar by mistake in front of her, the previous resentment has not disappeared, but she didn't want to murder me at the moment, she just stubbornly want to speak with thorns.
Eh yeah, I was told to be here because of dragging my body too harshly and losing my consciousness, my body in reality is still living.
“Sister….. She is dying for right things, it ought to be a serious case to be able to freely walk in this world.” Oscar is having a softer attitude than I remember last time, he said words for me. That’s hard to understand—I killed him and brought calamity to the world after all.
The remaining old man didn't want to talk, he was still very upset with me, and I was the culprit in sabotaging his terrible plan. Because of his persistent resentment, my irritable and doubtful mood returned to a little calmer.
So far I am full of puzzles:
Why are these people here? Why does their attitude seem to be different? Why are they not immediately hostile to me?
First of all, 1500 years have passed since I sacrificed their souls to awaken the 4 Empyreans. I thought that normally they should have been 'reincarnated'. But they are at the intersection of life and death.
"...Why are you all here?"
“......Since we are used to awakening the Empyreans, our souls remained here to see what the Empyreans see, yet it is not possible to interfere,” Oscar said lightly about things that sounded bad to me.
Even an apology won't change the situation, and even starting over I would have made the same choice, but knowing they've been stuck here for 1500 years makes me feel bad.
"It's very free here, there are a lot of people to talk to, there are a lot of stories to read, and I can concentrate on practicing swords every day, and I don't have to worry about having no opponents," Shigure responded cheerfully, which completely made me feel that the things I was worried about were superfluous.
"...you don't want revenge?"
"...I'm not you. As a soul dedicated to the Empyrean, I can't be so dirty."
"It's enough, Teresa." Artorius, who had been silent behind me, finally joined the conversation.
"..Tch." Under the pressure of her former boss, she closed her mouth in dissatisfaction.
"There is no need for revenge, it seems to me that you are punished enough, and you are punishing yourself at the same time, so I will not do anything to you, just keep looking at you."
Just like him before he was sacrificed, Oscar said that he would always look at me. This is not good meaning, but after I listened to it, I was able to accept these words with half resentment and half affirmation.
Melchior remained silent.
"...Although everything until now."
Really, at this point, there is nothing we can undo.
"...It's alright, isn’t it? Even the 4 people who you think hate you the most don't want to take revenge on you, so you don't need to punish yourself anymore, doesn’t it?"
"...The past has passed, you have made enough reflection and compensation for your behavior, and I also paid the price for my behavior. At least please live happily from now on."
......It's really willful words, we are not actually qualified to judge each other's sins, but I know that this is his true idea, he wants me to let go of the past.
None of those things can go away, but they can be let go, and there is nothing else to do but let go.
I understand, but it makes me feel at a loss, if I don't have this resentment to repay, am I left with nothing?
"Since Lord Artorius and Oscar both say so, we won't have any opinion." Teresa gave up angrily and continued to sting me with words.
Whereas the older man who has been silent has denied Teresa's attempt to take a stand on his behalf, his resentment towards me is not on the same level.
"It's your business, I won't admit it. With people like you, there will be malevolence in the world. Claudin's dream is to be destroyed by people like you, and you have defiled his sword!" A man lacking emotion has become very angry about things being related to King Claudin.
He desperately wants to achieve Claudin's dream, even if it requires the use of dirty means. All he does is follow Claudin's ideal– "Man can turn reason into disorder, but also can we surpass it. Our true power is in transcending the possible to achieve the ideal,"
It is really admirable(laughs) to understand that this sentence means that human beings should suppress their emotions and gain the power to realize their ideals.
To be born in that dark age, his thought is really not an ordinary distortion. This stubborn old man has not changed his mind even 1,500 years after his death, considering me as a being that must be eliminated.
At this time, the Sword of the King of Heroes I was carrying was glowing, and Claudin flew out of the light and stood in front of Melchior.
"Please Stop, my friend Melchior, the world you want to make is not what I want." Claudin seems to have been watching us from the sword and will come out because this is a problem that only he can solve. Melchior should be his last regret. Although Talking like this would hurt Melchior, it's better for the other person to understand these things directly.
"Although it is sometimes necessary to suppress emotions to insist on rationality and achieve ideals, emotions are indispensable to human beings. I hope to create a world where human beings can maintain their original emotions and live happily and carefree."
Maybe Claudin has a guilty conscience that everything has turned out like this. If he had noticed the strangeness of the people around him, maybe everything would not have happened. As someone who has been around them all the time, he didn't realize their darkness is " Friend disqualified". Now he as king, as once great Shepherd, as a friend of Melchior must free him from paranoia.
"Claudin.....!! Why...? Then everything I did...?" Claudin's words directly made Melchior feel desperate, and he was confused. The words that told him everything and the plan made no sense.
I understand this desperation, and I feel the same desperation that I'm just a cruel monster, knowing that all I've done is senseless killing.
Claudin knew that the weight of the words was enough to make his friend despair, but it was too late for everything. He couldn't beat around the bush, and he couldn't pretend everything happened to be light as a feather. He thought that his mistake had such weight, he also wanted his friends to recognize his sins harshly.
"........Yes, that was not what I expected, but your actions indirectly led to a change in fate, leading to the direction that Velvet sealed Innominat and led to the birth of Maotelus. Then as a result of Velvet who woke up in this era, finally killed Tartarus with his left without a regret, and resolved the curse of the Seraphim and the human race. Now, this future is what I hoped for, so you don't have to be obsessed with my ideal."
It's all a bit far-fetched to say, like saying thank you for making me miserable that I finally made this decision. But without this kind of thing I'd just think about living an ordinary life, and being a hero or a demon would never be the case. Since Claudin doesn't want Melchior to despair, neither a friend nor a Shepherd wants to arouse despair.
"Melchior and Velvet listened, nothing is meaningless, and it means different things when you look at it from different angles. What you do, even if it doesn't achieve your original purpose, may change someone else's life in another sense. No one is immune to mistakes and I made the biggest mistake too - failing to perceive Tartarus, Vermillion, and the darkness inside you, and then there are these things. Mistakes happen naturally and we can only try not to Repeat them. I hope you all try to live without repeating mistakes, instead of feeling down and despairing over the mistakes you made. Even if you both made serious mistakes, you now have your own responsibilities. Live without regret from now on."
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“Claudin……..I’m sorry…….”
"It shouldn't be me who you should apologize to, right?"
".........Artorius……………………Velvet Crowe, I'm sorry...I let the bandits attack your family, I want you to despair and have The determination to change the world …”
Melchior began to count his sins, with details we all never expected, and after knowing this I understood why Claudin felt guilty for his regrets. From the moment he began to confess his sins, I was struck by the desperation of even Artorius– It was all planned by him, and Claudin felt deeply guilty for not discovering Melchior's twist himself because Claudin knew everything after death.
Still, I don't know why, I didn't even feel hatred in my heart, only surprise.
Maybe it was because I was too tired, maybe it was because he had been killed long ago, so he got the punishment he deserved.
The moment Claudin told him the true thought was the beginning of his acceptance of the punishment he deserved. From that moment on he would be aware of his sin, a state similar to mine, and it would continue almost indefinitely.
"....As Master Claudin said, we've all made mistakes. I... can't hate you anymore, we've all been desperate and made all kinds of hopeless decisions. If you want to atone for your sins, just observe the world now, and let this prosperity continue, for our common ideal."
"........!! Yes, I will follow your will." Melchior's melancholy aura became firm and cheerful after Arthur's words.
Well, this is the attitude of a Shepherd I look forward to, someone who leads people out of the abyss of despair.
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"...Okay, it's all over~ You guys just stand here for so long, let’s fight me, won’t you?"
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"...It's so troublesome, I don't want to fight." I made it clear that I didn't want to fight him, but I don't think he would listen.
"Your answer is not surprising at all, okay, but I want to fight Artorius."
I looked at Artorius and saw his rarely troubled expression.
Just then, I felt something soft and warm touching my leg, and when I looked down, I saw that it was the dogs of my deceased friend: Orthie and Russ.
I was full of doubts, and they tugged at me by the corners of their coats, as if trying to take me to another place.
. . . Why?
"They've come to invite you, so hurry up, leave, and walk yourself out."
Teresa urged me to leave, still stinging, but not malicious.
"...See you.”
" . . . while we'll be watching you, it's better to say no ‘See you’ here. Farewell."
". . . Farewell." The old man didn't say much, just said goodbye together.
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I left Artorius, who was held by Shigure, and Orthie and Russ, who were walking with their tails wagging, and they took me to a forest with a hut, where a girl was waiting.
". . . Nico."
" . . . finally, I see you." She smiled a little sadly, happy and sad at the same time to see me.
—--------------------------TBC—---------------------------------
A.N.
When it comes to a coma, it is usually trapped in the dream world. In a story I like, Velvet is trapped in a beautiful dream and lives a happy life. I originally wanted to write this, but in this case, I will definitely refer to that story very much in the end, And I don't seem to be good at depicting happy emotions, so I gave up writing a happy dream and turned to a "the boundary of life and death" that is not completely a dream.
The condition to enter here is that: 1. on the verge of death many times, 2. often pass by the Reaper, 3. often push the body to the edge of the limit... Basically, only people who are self-abusing like Velvet can enter here and move freely.
......Actually, I originally planned to finish it when everyone came to pick up the two protagonists who were seriously injured, and I didn't plan to write about the period of coma in detail. Yet, I always felt that this was not a complete ending, so I started to try to extend the content. , and this chapter came into being. So I was troubled by my own temporary settings, and now that I think about it, I really like to make some things that bother me. About the war and the things after the Recovery, I had some imagination, but it didn't seem to be enough to write a story, so I decided to change the setting and move in to write it together.
The Melchior part may be a bit far-fetched. In the setting, he only looks like a human when facing Claudin, which is OOC at a certain time (?), and I really want this fat bad old man to know that he is wrong to the two and APOLOGIZE!
The reason why the other 3 didn't apologize in the end was that I didn't think it was necessary. Shigure didn't do anything to hurt Velvet. The 3 people were all enemies. It's natural to hurt them. The situation of Teresa and Oscar was truly hurt by Velvet, but they saw that Velvet was hurt a lot so they calmed down the dissatisfaction and finally the reaction like Tsudere(Tsu100%).
Because the Velvet I wrote has actually been bound by the past, even if she is accepted and rescued by the people around her, she still needs to move on her own. The story has come to an end, and this issue should be dealt with to some extent. , so this chapter was born.
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