Being locked up in the attic for almost three years is no different from a guilty criminal in jail after being released. I never got to see anyone except the young maid around my age to take care of me when I'm hungry and sick.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7bdRcGv2x
She was kind to me. She pitied me more than her sick brother she told me.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhccD7svOzb
It took me a year to trust her completely, 'cause I thought she's one of the people who's only kind at first, but my prejudices about her was completely wrong. She's one of the kind, I could tell by the way her eyes look at me like I were a friend to her.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1I8Wivq1bW
"Miss, do you want me to open the window?" She'll asked everyday, then I would just nod staring at her. Then I would asked what it feels like outside. She'll told me things, like how the flowers and leaves swayed the moment summer has arrived, like how the roads will get to be occupied by snow when the winter came, like how the trees looks like it just lost life in the fall when the dried leaves fell, like how it felt to live when the spring has to come.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKwS0tHHB0
I utterly envied her everytime she told me things about outside.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQV3ePWHjO
Though I've seen it all before, I wanted to keep feeling every season of the year. But this time for years, I feel left out. I missed it.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFkUe3bthH
I only saw one thing outside the window everytime ; and that is the dark forest that seemed to be has no life in it, only ebony. Darkness, all over, even if it's a day or any seasons has to come. An abandoned forest by Gods, based on the legends.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUF84D2A1k
I could be scared everytime I stare at it, but I never felt like it.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeIj00CKJA
Because the forest was like reflecting myself.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjgg6k7Imt
Dark. Feel nothing. Just there, staying. It looks dead, it seems dead but not.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvX1kgDjF8l
I feel numb.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRucRrJtD5r
I didn't see Magnus, it seemed like mother has forbidden him to come here, she know he'll go anywhere just to take this destination to see me. He wouls do something about it, but mother will immediately would come to know that he visited me, and she will take him somewhere he's scared off or take away his important things if he didn't obey her.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxcwPOqqM2
Magnus was sensitive, he was always scared, there was time he was courageous, but most of the time, he'll stay silent when he fear something he couldn't talk about.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7URITjQAxv
Though I didn't see him, he'll secretly deliver message his message for me to Estelle. I thank all the Gods for mother not knowing it.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm1BbiXHXq
He's nineteen this year, I bet.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1fQLJajsy
And my father...what about him?
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3zw2Dfp5c
He wouldn't care about his family. No one ever really cared about this family. I think he's just there to exist. To have someone who will inherit the Barony.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTxgGAtTJu
I really didn't know what he reacted when he heard I'm the Duke's secret lover. Or just like my mother said...the duke's mistress, a whore.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QXVCH9qnb
Magnus knows it was never true. It was really never true.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUJnIEdeNg
I was never his mistress, I was his lover.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljdBRzjqon
I wish I could screamed everything I wanted to say to them, but what's the use? I will look like more a whore to them.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHy0Hq5VVRM
And in my case, that's a reality I'm living in.
24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakUvhs1GLP
A complete agonizing existence.
ns160.79.110.94da2
