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#5

山寨妙麗之我一舉手就是在召喚地獄

辛波棉 辛波棉
Apr 20, 2025 21 2 Mins Read
x
No Plagiarism!2VOCyTL2K6ZFq8UvhViwposted on PＥNAＮＡ

我真的有一種恐懼，是對上一種人。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIPe4o1PkM

像《哈利波特》第一集電影版的妙麗——

老師問題還沒問完，手已經高高舉起，根本就快要站起來那種，彷彿生怕全世界不知道她存在一樣。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB073qrzSjp

然後黏在老師屁股後面當永不疲憊的「優等生」。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgubi1jXUU6

但有種人，比妙麗in real life還可怕，25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOI3d5gWpC2

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOl16ddAGy1

就是沒能力也不聰明，但是還要舉手讓別人以為他是妙麗那種人。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iMPvN3Lar

我遇到了，就是X。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRhY72QiO2

一開始就耳聞他是那種「小報告型」人才，專門緊跟上司屁股，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvH0agmSbF6
25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I9pkCxgjS

仗著嘴皮子幫人捅刀、搞陰招，辦公室經典劍貨代表——用劍的貨色。25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93y0eV12kC

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhOkgKdEs2

等一下，我太含蓄了，他是劍的批發商才對。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRvmqZps0q

後來某種宇宙業報，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvjz0ivV8X

也可能是升遷亂流，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgdX5yH1M1
25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB3c7XEPbs

他被調來我們team，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYJPlrSN33
25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITxjoj5DX5

命運趁機開了我一個不好笑的玩笑——我還要指導他。25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3CSEGOJnw

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77rDnSGIuH

我真的謝謝命運。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrebuQK92T

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNsmX5p9qz

在我不情不願的開始指導他，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiJjQNJaOo

告訴他什麼東西該怎麼做時。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQFh66nRoy

我發誓我每句話都說不到三分之一，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDX5claeoNA

就被他的

「這個我知道」、「這個我會」打斷。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMtX5VnACY

一次兩次還好，當每一次都這樣，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDXbldpfL5

我真的會像康熙的小s一樣。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiZITG1jSH

「不要吵！！」（封面圖片支援）

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbhQg7GJhb

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvftFU6kvb

然後這位「什麼都知道」的劍貨，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CHUv2ZLlM

想當然，下班之前，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmuDZYwIrL

交出了一張全錯的傑作。25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCARloNLdzC

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNd6pbN2IPJ

他在錯誤的路上穩定輸出，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7rt7kWMUc

簡直擁有史上最驚人的KDA —0/99/0。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuc7EE1ifvm

沒有一件代辦事項是對的。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97l5ux65Oi

Hello?這個我會？這我知道？

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMd414WEHrc

你除了知道怎麼打小報告，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgGM2cDS0K

背後捅同事刀之外，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaria8B7HI

你還知道些什麼？

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFOBPi21hT

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdy8baPJb1c

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyO78zZYLZk

我現在跟瓜爾佳氏一樣，舉手發誓，

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNCAfhVRO6

我真的快崩潰了，25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPcY3XKvbv

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHconTNrFZU

只差沒有在雨天奔跑，大喊皇后娘娘申冤。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7iznGm5jh

我的職位是負責擦屁股的嗎？

我是擦屁股大使嗎？

我是便便使者嗎？

我在替人擦屁股的路上，不斷加班。

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwnx50bZ3l

唐綺陽，我是不是又水逆了？

還是我的星盤整個掉進馬桶裡了？

25Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G613UgYaD

誰來救救我好嗎，拜託。

3.144.115.20

ns3.144.115.20da2
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Table of Contents
#0 Intro
#1 平行宇宙編劇產生器
#2 沈默是金，但他沒有這個東西。
#3 巨嬰女友踩地雷，一踩就把我踩成社交祭品
#4 這個作品其實叫做「八婆叔叔的碎碎念」
#5 山寨妙麗之我一舉手就是在召喚地獄
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