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#5

山寨妙麗之我一舉手就是在召喚地獄

辛波棉 辛波棉
Apr 20, 2025 64 2 Mins Read
x
No Plagiarism!n8Mamn5h1cGkM8uRIk87posted on PＥNAＮＡ

我真的有一種恐懼，是對上一種人。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKjHF5l67L

像《哈利波特》第一集電影版的妙麗——

老師問題還沒問完，手已經高高舉起，根本就快要站起來那種，彷彿生怕全世界不知道她存在一樣。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1Dcx5lLLk

然後黏在老師屁股後面當永不疲憊的「優等生」。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCchQCmpYC

但有種人，比妙麗in real life還可怕，68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0lP6Ny8xM

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58rYuYohzQ

就是沒能力也不聰明，但是還要舉手讓別人以為他是妙麗那種人。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzI80bY0jmW

我遇到了，就是X。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZR2wyreDfk

一開始就耳聞他是那種「小報告型」人才，專門緊跟上司屁股，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCDJFYz04b
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfj7v4gFwd

仗著嘴皮子幫人捅刀、搞陰招，辦公室經典劍貨代表——用劍的貨色。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFk7VV1h81q

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqU62GT6Mqx

等一下，我太含蓄了，他是劍的批發商才對。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUk2Brdzq6

後來某種宇宙業報，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtoAQkc1n8

也可能是升遷亂流，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4psRWziyUU
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRgjNCghya

他被調來我們team，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlIDUC3nwu
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXvXn05Pr3

命運趁機開了我一個不好笑的玩笑——我還要指導他。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfez0GCbMmH

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wYTA0n0ar

我真的謝謝命運。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOOQXxKpEu

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawMLlJzA7n

在我不情不願的開始指導他，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGMJlKynS9

告訴他什麼東西該怎麼做時。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUhu6b8qb5

我發誓我每句話都說不到三分之一，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOEFfz3izQ

就被他的

「這個我知道」、「這個我會」打斷。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLghgmqQFL

一次兩次還好，當每一次都這樣，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIl3GVSpl7L

我真的會像康熙的小s一樣。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYBBPoPXxs

「不要吵！！」（封面圖片支援）

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcm9h9vObe8

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRQbYI477V

然後這位「什麼都知道」的劍貨，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QCp4vwgyi

想當然，下班之前，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lBZHxbKgS

交出了一張全錯的傑作。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxzyyE5SCX

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcVriohX8E

他在錯誤的路上穩定輸出，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡla7hAKNlAE

簡直擁有史上最驚人的KDA —0/99/0。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIroEN8FKCs

沒有一件代辦事項是對的。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFi2YDMEYr

Hello?這個我會？這我知道？

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcf2lZWcvMj

你除了知道怎麼打小報告，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUffHlbBi4H

背後捅同事刀之外，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonvSnnRl32

你還知道些什麼？

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5aJNAHYVe

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUJV16hpA1

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpFrzC42n7

我現在跟瓜爾佳氏一樣，舉手發誓，

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDNjiJJUCW

我真的快崩潰了，68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiGYGEwd3l

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cTHRXkvc1

只差沒有在雨天奔跑，大喊皇后娘娘申冤。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus70qrKc9x

我的職位是負責擦屁股的嗎？

我是擦屁股大使嗎？

我是便便使者嗎？

我在替人擦屁股的路上，不斷加班。

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMrAaw7PxR

唐綺陽，我是不是又水逆了？

還是我的星盤整個掉進馬桶裡了？

68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiH7oslVby

誰來救救我好嗎，拜託。

216.73.216.24

ns216.73.216.24da2
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Table of Contents
#0 Intro
#1 平行宇宙編劇產生器
#2 沈默是金，但他沒有這個東西。
#3 巨嬰女友踩地雷，一踩就把我踩成社交祭品
#4 這個作品其實叫做「八婆叔叔的碎碎念」
#5 山寨妙麗之我一舉手就是在召喚地獄
#6 幫我撐10秒———氣爆加班斬
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