Trigger Warnings?37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKdIHve8jh
mentions of homophobia , and swear words... and cheating?
The automated female voice spluttered to life in the background as the loud bellows of train horns enveloped the atmosphere. The constant chatter of people helped numb his thoughts; He knows what he saw. It was unmistakable,
‘I’m sorry, I tried to warn you but-‘.the voice of his best friend echoed in his mind , the constant ringing of his phone broke him from his brooding . He begrudgingly looks at the bright and familiar face of a young man stares back at him. How many times has this been now …4?6?? He called since the ‘incident’ . He sighs before answering.
”WHAT?” He snaps,” what am I supposed to say to THAT? I need this . I need to get over her… somehow”
The line is quiet as a flicker of guilt blooms in his chest . He shouldn’t have snapped at V, he was just trying to help, wasn’t he ?
he should be apologising , he should be crying his eyes out in V’s dingy apartment, with some cheap booze and maybe a sad attempt at a Biriyani, but he doesn’t, instead he says .
” I’m going to grandma’s for a while “ he paused as if to continue, he doesn’t. The silence from the other end seems longer then it is .
” Just… just don’t do anything stupid DJ . It’s better you found out now rather then later “ V’s voice is scratchy and horse, he only gets a hum in return which seems to satisfy him …. For now. The call ends without V’s usual goodbye. So it did hurt him DJ muses .
V’s different from DJ, V’s loud , cheerful and honestly a bit annoying. He remembers the day V walked into class with his hair the brightest shade of neon pink . The professors weren’t really appreciative of this new look , he was sent to stand outside for the rest of the day . They lost a few “friends” that day but it never seemed to bother V at all, who would only give his widest shit eating grin whenever asked about the hair .
He also remembers his father’s words to him as V dropped him home weeks later the pink dye still bright as before. Dad would sit him down to ‘talk’ later that evening. His tine sharp and dripping with venom.
” Stay away from that boy. Boys like him aren’t meant for civilized society “
It took DJ a while to understand what his father has meant.. really meant.
With anger still burning he sits down on the train chair dropping his bag on the chair facing him . Tears threatening to spill
(Men don’t cry DJ!! Be a MAN!!)
His spiraling thoughts once again interrupted. This time by a voice of a woman . He looks up at her , her cloths all mismatched and uncoordinated . Eyes tired .
“Is this your bag? “ she asks her voice strangely melodious as she pushes the bag down and seating herself in its place. The air is silent , uneventful , until the train reached a station.
Chaos erupts as people shuffle in and out . In that moment of confusion a crisp note of 500 falls to the ground . Almost everyone eyes it ,but no one actually picks it up. That is until the woman from before pockets it herself and starts asking for change. DJ complies . Be it a bit irritated at her shameless antic.
After a while she buys some snacks for 200rs. 'It isn't hers so she spends the money however she pleases ' he scoffs to himself. Much later he watches as she hands a 100 to the beggars and drops the remaining 200 in a busker's cap, she also gives away the snacks she bought before to a bunch of kids busking on one of the stations the train stopped at.
DJ fidgets uncomfortably , his voice wincing in embarrassment, "I'm sorry i judged you harshly before, I thought you had no shame for picking that money off the floor when it wasn't yours. I-- Forgive me"37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUUcE8gRll
“It’s all right, Fear and shame is for the people who wanted to take it for themselves, I didn’t pick it for me so I had nothing to be scared about”, she smiles. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hfSCwKAzs
“You seem like a really good person” he says, She laughs .It’s strangely melodious, 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Pwf87k2A1
“I’m a good person?” she raises her brow, “Goodness of someone is subjective, It depends on the perception on others and the situation” she says, Adjusting her bag so it sits beside her instead of on her lap like before, Her bare hands taking their place37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOzUIsI4eM
.“You saw me do it, so you think I’m a good person, If I had done the same thing but outside you would have only remembered me as someone selfish and shameless. That’s why I don’t really care for things like this.”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzWtt2DWgM
“so, Where are you headed to?” she asks , genuine interest in her eyes . 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49YfOTLu0s
“To my grandparents, For a change of scenery” he says.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHjerdG8g2
“Oh, you’re on your holidays ?”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKBycMRFGC
“No, actually” he doesn’t know why he opens up to her, something he had only done with V...he stops himself from thinking further. “Something happened I just want to get away from it that’s all”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlL51xRqk8S
This seemed to do nothing to satisfy her curiosity, “is it your girlfriend?”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCQ5qfIOsK
“Yes actually” She's an ex- now. He pauses as a man selling cooldrinks passed by , the man’s nice wrinkled slightly as he glances at DJ's companion, Expression unreadable...37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgAZ1pbvAF
“Why is he looking at you like that? Do you know him?”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWUf086HMx
“No. Anyway if you don’t mind, what happened with your girlfriend”. She changes the subject, DJ scratches the back of his head a bit.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPh98johOkG
“What do I say ?well I guess she’s my ex now. We dated for a bit , but then I found out she liked someone else, we broke up for a bit ,but we got back together pretty quick ,V didn’t like it but he said he’ll be fine if that was what I really wanted”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhiusWK7Fv
“Wait who’s Vee?"37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Dx089rWVJ
“ah! He’s my friend, he didn’t like my girlfriend much at the time , but he always respected our relationship” 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSXVzVvhMQ
She nods ,letting him continue “Then my girlfriend became distant slowly , she started cancelling last minute. I didn’t listen when V tried to tell me what was happening until I saw it myself.” 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemd5QgYHZ9
“What did you do next? After you saw for yourself? Did you talk to her?”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgun236xANT
“What would I say?”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyVxRYrHum
“so you just left? Just like that? What if you were wrong? You should have talked to her, At least your anger would have cooled down. You would have known if she really did cheat or not”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qXfHbOMrf
“I saw it with my own two eyes! What more is there to know?”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiVHDPNhE0
“Well not everything we see can be trusted. And besides you judged me based on what you saw too didn’t you?” 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnozNtfyOD
“hah! You’re a woman too, Of Corse you wouldn’t believe me when I say she cheated. She could have approached me too you know. If she apologized and came back I would have forgiven her, but she didn’t because she knew , She know she cheated”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndJX14ilNg
“She cheated or not whatever it is you should have shown your anger and hurt there itself , and not carry it like now”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBEE4pJh0w
V said the same thing, didn't he? ," but I can’t, I can’t do it” 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjlnlmT1f2
“If you don’t mind may I say something” he nods “If you really want to live happily you should learn to let go, In a world where we don a mask every second, learning to let go is the only thing keeping us sane, sure she cheated on you but she didn’t take anything from you, she just made you stronger then you were before” She said it so simply, Though she looked young her words were of great experience and wisdom... Somehow it reminded him of V. His stupid face flickers into DJ's mind again but he shuts it down immediately.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhTwQkGLd4
(“When something good enters your life cherish it, after it has given you some memories, that’s it , you don’t have any control over how long it stays or when it leaves. You should let go DJ”)37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2c8V2VCRo
“just think that her time with you is over”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIE2bO0ZBi
“Who ? who taught you all this” 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheNYjnDPBv
She just smiles back. That stupid grin, stupid blue jacket, faded pink hair and---37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97bsYgV3ZJ
“sure your words are inspiring and all, but to survive in this society based on them isn’t going to work”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z7xBAoUVj
“this society doesn’t care about you , it cares only of what you can give it , you shouldn’t care either”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgX2kUG2Z7
“It’s easy for you to say” he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up now, “I spent 6 months begging for her love like a madman, you know how many times I asked her out for her to say yes?”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplbuFprmMW
“you asked her out many times? Your friend was right , asking relentlessly and begging doesn’t earn you love, only pity” And that’s it, Pity. He couldn’t say anything back. It felt like his throat closed up, That relationship was never really going to last, was it? So that’s why V was so uncomfortable when DJ told him. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIEcH6exCV
Silence fell over them once again. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF66a6GeTJa
The train screeched to a halt as another station arrived, and she gets ready to leave.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TMH9JCj3X
“Are you leaving?” 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfNlaUQyvs
“yes, this is where I get off, I have to go” 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMijdDdyZG6
“Right. It was nice talking to you, my heart feels much lighter now. Thank you, I don’t know how to say this-- ” 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXL4qbmu2Ys
“Ah I need to get off” she turns to leave but pauses , “ If you really want someone to stay in your life longer, you should hold them close, so close that it should feel like you have forgiven all their mistakes and melt them away,"37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgJKpH75YB
(Mistakes. DJ not betrayal)37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhw7nhIduRk
She smiles, there is a soft dimple showing now that he sees it. Really sees her.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSW8jRNgTM1
His thoughts came to an abrupt stop. Yet questions seem to bubble up inside him as she stepped onto the station. He should talk to her, he needs to talk to her. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDQal3vVRt
I his hurry he accidently crashes into the man selling cool drinks earlier. As the aluminum cans and bottles of fall to the coach floor . all he can think about is that woman.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGDY7x0NII
"WATCH IT DIPSHIT!!"
“She. She’s leaving,”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JSzC23f6j
“who? The one you were siting with? She's a dancer a club there , I’ve seen her a lot of times before, If you like her that much , look” he taps at a restroom near by “Her name and number is written here in red sketch pen, sort it yourself”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHOFddmmon
DJ’s world comes crashing down , Her face keeps popping up in his mind, along with the dejected voice of Vijay in the phone earlier today, he remembers the horror in the man’s face when Dinesh finally saw for himself . This time he lets the memories of yesterday rush in.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bmkc3HikK
He saw her the girl he loved with someone else, V was there he witnessed it too, She gasped when she realized what had been revealed. “DJ—“she whispered but before she could say anything else he walked away. It had started to rain then, V followed him. He didn’t know where he was going or what he was going to do now, he just kept walking, until he felt a tug at his shoulder.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfN00UMuKUk
“Do you even know where you’re going?”37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHVzELeMPa
It was V, ever so perfect ,his longer front hair now taped to his forehead, slightly shivering in the rain, but the grip on his shoulder steady as ever,37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQAzVunFNX
"Somewhere" DJ barely whispered. He hated it . his voices sounded too soft, too vulnerable. Too Weak37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOms5XmPEj
He watched as his best friend, shrugged off his jacket. It was a bright blue, he wonders where V gets these peculiar colored cloths from. V steps closer draping it over their heads. V was warm compared to the cold rain, his fingers pruned and rough under DJ’s chin as he forces him to look at his face, DJ’s cheeks flush, he’s expecting a joke. V always cracks a joke,37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nSZpC4PIT
No matter how inappropriate the situation. Yet the sincerity in his eyes tell something different. V’s eyes are beautiful...He’s saying something but DJ can’t hear anything. Then with strength he never knew his friend possessed, he was pulled into a hug. V’s soft scratchy voice gets through the ringing in his ears. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1K2TmFhjYK
“It’s ok, You don’t have to be strong, not here” And just like that the flood gates broke. DJ cried. He let himself cry, and he stayed. Whatever happened after that was a blur…37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEANBMoTtv
Now back in the present DJ stares at himself in the worn rusted mirror of the restroom, door locked and he thinks. The red sketch mark right there clear as day, and striking blue of the jacket hidden away in his bag.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwUwdthFoV
Her job may be wrong , but she as a person was something else entirely. He could .. he could get off the train and find her , he could call him right now and make things right, or at least reassure his friend , But as he looked at himself in the reflection and his mind drifted to what other people thought of her, them . he questions id he ever could handle the strange looks or the distain in his father’s words as their relationship progressed. Tomorrow when he’s inevitably seen next to either of them, what would the people say what would they say about him. As these questions plagued his mind he realizes something. A strange satisfaction follows him as he softly wipes the red ink off the wall.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW8ly9a3xa
He’s a coward.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxdeIcdmTE
He bites down on his lower lip as he silently makes his way to his seat. The person in front has changed now. He sits in silence watching the scenery unfold . he sighs as the society he cares so much about ,has done nothing to encourage him, nothing but make him fear it. So much for "civilized society"37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCZPokq4OF
Watching the stations change felt wrong. Conforming had made him a coward , imprisoned by expectations , yet as he gets off on the next station his zip gets caught, as he attempts to force it open a resounding rip of fabric is heard. His eyes widen, a wide tear now embedded into bright blue fabric. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKlB2yXOu4
"Shit" he cruses, his hands slightly trembling as he franticly tries to smooth it down. It doesn't work. The rip looked bigger now, the bright blue looking dim and dusty under the street lights. no no no no this is wrong -- thi-37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cH2Om15V0
A buzz in his pocket forces his attention away. He looks at the caller id. It's an old photo of himself , grainy and dull yet the bright smile on his younger self calmed him down.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLJPoUYccO
He accepts the call. hands not completely steady yet. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUnghbUcZw
"Hello?"37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiFqA0Ovzi
"My lovely grand son" her voice warm and lively as she continues, "I finally figured out how to connect this damn thing! and guess what ?! i did it by myself !! "he can almost hear the smile on her wrinkled face, he should reply soon or-
"what's wrong kid.? did something happen? how's V? did you two get into a fight or-"
"no.. "he sniffs . hurriedly wiping off the tears ." No ..I.. gran ..ca- can you help me please ?"
"what happened ?"
"I... I messed up. I-- V's jacket . .. I --I don't know what to do-"
"shh it's alright. I'll help you, Your mother said you were coming to visit me, no? we'll figure something out ok Dj?" 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcVRK9WNtV
"ok" he nods as the call ends. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lcAH3sBf5
He carefully gathers up the blue jacket folding it up neatly over his arm. gently dusting it, as he gathers his bag once more.37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4uxzGJBtD
He's going to fix this ... somehow. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWahPix0tD
He may be a coward. but maybe ...just maybe he could be a little braver. 37Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp8lmz5Ofo
For V.
ns18.223.172.149da2
