"Why the hell is this so hard?" I mutter to myself.521Please respect copyright.PENANADuoPeXGkTU
521Please respect copyright.PENANA7e3ZVaUWJY
521Please respect copyright.PENANAnTzOlkggQ7
Remember how I missed two of Evetta's birthdays? Well, I've decided to buy her two presents — one for each birthday that I missed.521Please respect copyright.PENANAjobiitU5Sg
521Please respect copyright.PENANAYZXM0iKqaB
521Please respect copyright.PENANA4BMGbT7eg0
I already got a violin bow for her. It isn't some grand, expensive, £2000 bow from 1752, but it's from me; I'm pretty sure that she's the sentimental type.521Please respect copyright.PENANA5HuzfgbNdX
521Please respect copyright.PENANAyZlboq2rsN
521Please respect copyright.PENANA1odcUiZ6oX
Now, I'm looking for a black doll, and none of them seem perfect. Every single one that I've seen — which is actually only a total of two dolls — have processed hair. For some reason, I feel like she would want a doll with natural hair.521Please respect copyright.PENANA7tVHWEx2iO
521Please respect copyright.PENANAlOsoYvw6gC
521Please respect copyright.PENANADArvVLa4wz
I'm about to give up and just get her a bracelet or something, when I see it through the window of a store. It's called "little Jamaica", and a black rag doll with what looks like twists on her head is smiling through the window.521Please respect copyright.PENANAwqYVeaTeAh
521Please respect copyright.PENANAzQLk8Nnv5w
521Please respect copyright.PENANAGbZVHExJ1P
I walk into the store, which smells like lavender, and am immediately greeting by a middle aged woman with locks. Her face looks halfway between black and Chinese; full lips, dark skin, sharp cheekbones, tiny nose and slanted eyes.521Please respect copyright.PENANAgvknhU4Hpk
521Please respect copyright.PENANAkYNRt7JghB
521Please respect copyright.PENANAa6B3yPqtIK
"Good afternoon sir," she says in a warm voice, but with an accent that sounds identical to Evetta's.521Please respect copyright.PENANAvl2VjLgYIE
521Please respect copyright.PENANARUd0W3ZEyt
521Please respect copyright.PENANACYvpKvEVeU
"How may I help you today?"521Please respect copyright.PENANABmcGukqhi1
521Please respect copyright.PENANAFYjh8THBtm
521Please respect copyright.PENANALj6xm1aJ4n
I look at the window, and see the doll.521Please respect copyright.PENANAJAwpiMRL1O
521Please respect copyright.PENANAUQNq2M0w91
521Please respect copyright.PENANA9ay4KcKFOT
"I want that doll; the one by the window. Upon inspection, I realise that it has "Jamaica" written across the front. She looks like she's crying, and she's facing me. 521Please respect copyright.PENANAUiy9KFiTF6
521Please respect copyright.PENANA2x7YDMzjAB
521Please respect copyright.PENANAP2kOSJQxrS
I think I might be losing my mind. Maybe it's more than just amnesia. What if there's temporary brain damage? What if I'm going to completely lose my mind, and have to live the rest of my life in an asylum?521Please respect copyright.PENANADwtUtZAjRf
521Please respect copyright.PENANAfmronu6FSE
521Please respect copyright.PENANAPaL5RGacGb
Before I have a full blown panic attack, the woman speaks again.521Please respect copyright.PENANA4oDGMyhsPy
521Please respect copyright.PENANAE0BJhmqaDK
521Please respect copyright.PENANAbG2VeIWHej
"The doll has too faces; one side is smiling, and the other is crying," she says, seeing my confused expression, and following my gaze to the doll.521Please respect copyright.PENANAavL0LIFVw1
521Please respect copyright.PENANAAu31BZ7Sr2
521Please respect copyright.PENANAyOaIVj3zFR
I walk over to it, pick it up, and flip it. Sure enough, it has a face stitched on the other side — the smiling face that I originally saw.521Please respect copyright.PENANA6hrkYdJIMQ
521Please respect copyright.PENANAxTVDWXYFwG
521Please respect copyright.PENANAIgcEPiucQK
Thank god. I'm not mad. Yet.521Please respect copyright.PENANAzPJ3904sEh
521Please respect copyright.PENANADC0ezpd4RH
521Please respect copyright.PENANAfDDy2hitom
This is so... special. I love it, and I know that Evetta will love it, too. 521Please respect copyright.PENANAZvWb33ezr2
521Please respect copyright.PENANAPoVbsAPwZu
521Please respect copyright.PENANAOJjB1NBUao
I pay for it and walk out, feeling rather proud of myself.521Please respect copyright.PENANAcbwT7jXxnz
521Please respect copyright.PENANAbygsFcBAhI
521Please respect copyright.PENANABhh5PcrtpB
Yes, she's gonna be so pleased.521Please respect copyright.PENANAuuqq63pvYO
521Please respect copyright.PENANAUsQdpVDgxN
521Please respect copyright.PENANAxzNoSpWAmn
Of course, my day can't possibly be that easy.521Please respect copyright.PENANA1OnGCYFgbU
521Please respect copyright.PENANAk5DYG3KDZT
521Please respect copyright.PENANASVD5jsIhJf
As I'm walking on the sidewalk, one of the pink ear rings from the doll fall off and break on the pavement.521Please respect copyright.PENANAIXTmPNIf0O
521Please respect copyright.PENANAXi86M8LKPb
521Please respect copyright.PENANAulhVWGsTEs
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath.521Please respect copyright.PENANAZphcLHKLss
521Please respect copyright.PENANAA61gCZlMLq
521Please respect copyright.PENANAHyPYqfBANQ
What the hell am I going to do now? I can't give it to her like this.521Please respect copyright.PENANAbGWwJ1X2lm
521Please respect copyright.PENANABofz9PCpzv
521Please respect copyright.PENANAc0AujHqJUi
Think Caleb. What else can be used as ear rings?521Please respect copyright.PENANAkHq4sOztDx
521Please respect copyright.PENANAV0lF5c1lOk
521Please respect copyright.PENANA4nLweDksNd
Paper clips?521Please respect copyright.PENANAF5G98xyn5X
521Please respect copyright.PENANAYwjCLHsxYz
521Please respect copyright.PENANAOZRTmmr9bR
No.521Please respect copyright.PENANAL6g8JDhrko
521Please respect copyright.PENANAhzCPqOtJax
521Please respect copyright.PENANA44p989GM2I
Hairpins?521Please respect copyright.PENANAbk7P2DlSFd
521Please respect copyright.PENANAQEkyVuKcSb
521Please respect copyright.PENANAIhd8h2UrV5
Am I stupid?521Please respect copyright.PENANAzADcDFOutk
521Please respect copyright.PENANA0QbYNrupwi
521Please respect copyright.PENANAnl1ZBQckv9
Nose rings?521Please respect copyright.PENANABzfji2Wj57
521Please respect copyright.PENANANrNBjJmn13
521Please respect copyright.PENANAFlMRRtha8E
Wait. That's not a bad idea.521Please respect copyright.PENANAuYud058Jdt
521Please respect copyright.PENANAQu5mN8LelQ
521Please respect copyright.PENANAAGGsjWL87z
At least this isn't that hard to find. 521Please respect copyright.PENANA0k6uZLwcHD
521Please respect copyright.PENANAifpI1Cni0u
521Please respect copyright.PENANAz32iW9SdMq
After a few minutes of walking, I find myself in a shop that is stocked full with all kinds of body jewellery, and I pick up a pack of nose rings. Now that I see them, they look far thinner and flimsier than I'd imagined.521Please respect copyright.PENANAqj6bjEmTni
521Please respect copyright.PENANAdBtr0oMEuI
521Please respect copyright.PENANAWriNGXRwdX
God, I really hope this works, I think to myself looking skeptically at the tiny golden hoops.521Please respect copyright.PENANABRnCmApcLM
521Please respect copyright.PENANAie2iBDwlsq
521Please respect copyright.PENANADXmMXwa8oB
521Please respect copyright.PENANARcOOnHFGxT
521Please respect copyright.PENANAhOtob9L9mH
***521Please respect copyright.PENANA1Z4qhaRr9x
521Please respect copyright.PENANA0TNA29zX36
521Please respect copyright.PENANASZlWKUflwo
521Please respect copyright.PENANA7wjSz4g97G
521Please respect copyright.PENANAr0D2ZeNv3L
The nose rings actually worked, much to my surprise. You'd never be able to tell that anything ever went wrong with the doll on the first place.521Please respect copyright.PENANAEMrGvw8fPb
521Please respect copyright.PENANAn1OcYbhJmQ
521Please respect copyright.PENANAQvLy7yYfEe
I'm finished walking the streets for today, so I've decided to take the tube back to the area in which I live. Throughout the entire train ride, I can't keep still. My knee is bouncing like a tennis ball, and I realise that it's more than me wanting to give her a doll and a violin bow; I want to see her again; hearing her voice through a phone isn't enough. Still, I call her as soon as I get out of the station.521Please respect copyright.PENANAENOFlhRRxm
521Please respect copyright.PENANAAtEttt3E9u
521Please respect copyright.PENANAUfvShDdZd5
"Hello?"521Please respect copyright.PENANALgw75PmsHI
521Please respect copyright.PENANAvllsgwmPtr
521Please respect copyright.PENANA07DMlZuRTn
God, her voice is beautiful. It makes me feel warm, from the inside out, even though it's freezing outside — snow has just begun to fall, and now I deeply regret not bringing a winter coat — and the cold air biting against my skin seems inconsequential.521Please respect copyright.PENANApVyAln3u0J
521Please respect copyright.PENANAbnNuT8w4t8
521Please respect copyright.PENANAcmp40PLy3X
"Can you come over?" I ask. 521Please respect copyright.PENANAdBpIAKpZk6
521Please respect copyright.PENANASAM0REFmwr
521Please respect copyright.PENANA01TyjyfHRT
But a better idea comes to me.521Please respect copyright.PENANAu1MOfrVDul
521Please respect copyright.PENANAaT0Ooifrx1
521Please respect copyright.PENANAH2DhAziKE5
"Are you at home?"521Please respect copyright.PENANAUGeD7W04oE
521Please respect copyright.PENANASnuniomOpD
521Please respect copyright.PENANAKCU6hOG63p
"Yeah."521Please respect copyright.PENANASzcJpZ8Dqn
521Please respect copyright.PENANAW5x04SjAMf
521Please respect copyright.PENANAY7WwpFkIPg
"Um, can I come over? I mean, you'd have to give me your address, and I'd try—"521Please respect copyright.PENANApoOmweGB0F
521Please respect copyright.PENANACzHQme69wz
521Please respect copyright.PENANASPPVfzz9uZ
"Caleb, it's very cold — you sound cold, as if you've forgotten you coat — and I don't want you to get lost, and die of hypothermia. I'll come over. I'll bring you over to my house one day — show you the path."521Please respect copyright.PENANA2jKIqTpHEu
521Please respect copyright.PENANAGqtTNMiRvl
521Please respect copyright.PENANAbM29Z26uqH
"Fine. But please stay."521Please respect copyright.PENANAXayYv5G90D
521Please respect copyright.PENANAuWwK3C6jdH
521Please respect copyright.PENANA8c01UrBbSo
"Okay, but I have to leave early tomorrow. I have work."521Please respect copyright.PENANAsLvKP7Kds4
521Please respect copyright.PENANAFYvN6qrbEX
521Please respect copyright.PENANALWMcEBNGLX
"That's fine," I say as I walk through the front door of my house. 521Please respect copyright.PENANAhSfZmQyU33
521Please respect copyright.PENANAazJQS6QxZR
521Please respect copyright.PENANAr1wcMsN7Ik
The call ends and I make it to my room, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. 521Please respect copyright.PENANAbxPbTV0QkC
521Please respect copyright.PENANAcrr4KzjhtR
521Please respect copyright.PENANA0SflaVMGs1
However, I fix an image of her face in my head. I tell myself to stay awake for her. And I do.521Please respect copyright.PENANASVSbByLJSG
521Please respect copyright.PENANACy7YJoFapC
521Please respect copyright.PENANAm6vvz7Ogyx
"Caleb," I hear from the bedroom door, and instantly perk up, exhaustion forgotten. She's shrugging off her winter coat by the threshold of the door.521Please respect copyright.PENANAoxL0OvKgDF
521Please respect copyright.PENANAfa2FVtMDgy
521Please respect copyright.PENANA3EMll0Sey3
"Evetta. Thanks for coming."521Please respect copyright.PENANA0h4JBXcybM
521Please respect copyright.PENANAkmvLL9lpco
521Please respect copyright.PENANAXR9AGfxjNQ
"Of course, baby," she says, and when I hear the word "baby", I get that warm feeling all over again.521Please respect copyright.PENANA7BAZP1mL7i
521Please respect copyright.PENANAJI9gzmSu7V
521Please respect copyright.PENANAs2M2xQFifm
"Um, I got you some stuff."521Please respect copyright.PENANAeLIK1OZomJ
521Please respect copyright.PENANAilUyvOU5mW
521Please respect copyright.PENANATdGRKiorSc
"Yeah?" she inquires as she walks over to the bed and sits beside me.521Please respect copyright.PENANAXujNyuxydf
521Please respect copyright.PENANAuXywbhtONu
521Please respect copyright.PENANAKUojzgxXcj
"I realised that while I was out, I missed two of your birthdays."521Please respect copyright.PENANAGINoJKxZdg
521Please respect copyright.PENANA8W36VsppdS
521Please respect copyright.PENANA1JxVvRRDdP
"Oh, god, Caleb," she says to me, catching on, and her voice sounds so... touched.521Please respect copyright.PENANACEEf3c7aa5
521Please respect copyright.PENANA4oxJlEnHJ9
521Please respect copyright.PENANAFhjD3AHBQw
"So I got you some stuff."521Please respect copyright.PENANALKgEdrrCCQ
521Please respect copyright.PENANAWHwmL4BssB
521Please respect copyright.PENANAFBe1wh5kxF
Her eyes actually have tears in them. Good god, I never expected her to actually cry.521Please respect copyright.PENANA5rZbWXJ5Rj
521Please respect copyright.PENANAozPoT4fl1C
521Please respect copyright.PENANAVxNKmiWJ6z
Before I can even decide which one I want to show her first — the bow or the doll — she throws her self on me and gives me a bear hug.521Please respect copyright.PENANAMBPXkKSOD0
521Please respect copyright.PENANASr1NA7ol2E
521Please respect copyright.PENANA1fc0SPy5J8
"I love you. Thank you so much. You're the best."521Please respect copyright.PENANA2bODD0Hi0G
521Please respect copyright.PENANACXi0A9KzbX
521Please respect copyright.PENANAkJDZ6LOcif
"I love you too."521Please respect copyright.PENANA41H0s80e5D
521Please respect copyright.PENANAGziDlTYSfW
521Please respect copyright.PENANAXIhqyUxOX9
We stay like that for a while, just holding each other, and when we finally untangle ourselves from each other, her eyes are red.521Please respect copyright.PENANAmMCM1gii6G
521Please respect copyright.PENANAgUOPqbb6q6
521Please respect copyright.PENANAqsdWeMsC8C
"I got you a violin bow," I say as I present it to her.521Please respect copyright.PENANAzlKK5l7lGi
521Please respect copyright.PENANAjuJk1JIkJM
521Please respect copyright.PENANAlTI0ZuiXn2
Her eyes widen and fill with tears again as she removes it from its casing and inspects it.521Please respect copyright.PENANADBOdU0UAer
521Please respect copyright.PENANA8BoxKRhtnV
521Please respect copyright.PENANAGAkRe4RCTS
"I mean, it's not great, but it works—"521Please respect copyright.PENANAfoXzBCK70e
521Please respect copyright.PENANAGsCFgZ2Ghv
521Please respect copyright.PENANAltIrRyH2Tc
"And it's from you," she says. "That means so much to me."521Please respect copyright.PENANAy9i38YyZaC
521Please respect copyright.PENANAmq1jeMnuo4
521Please respect copyright.PENANAfIv6eXjqOV
I was right. She's sentimental.521Please respect copyright.PENANAPiff4L6xbS
521Please respect copyright.PENANAjRmIRMSrJg
521Please respect copyright.PENANApMs730Ykoa
"I also got you a doll. A black rag doll."521Please respect copyright.PENANASArjMlwH3y
521Please respect copyright.PENANA0xYXB4t1ep
521Please respect copyright.PENANARlwG5I6u76
As soon as those words leave my mouth, her eyes become filled with what can only be described as utter vulnerability.521Please respect copyright.PENANAi4h4CjtRGY
521Please respect copyright.PENANAZpkMwSWeg9
521Please respect copyright.PENANA4pzkaUtvUY
"Really?" she asks, her voice getting high pitched.521Please respect copyright.PENANAt7rm4Z2u84
521Please respect copyright.PENANArQuwZZXAp6
521Please respect copyright.PENANADYC2Lfz8Ht
Damn. I really didn't foresee her being this emotional.521Please respect copyright.PENANAmVSFMZzmfm
521Please respect copyright.PENANAEoUkVDEPW6
521Please respect copyright.PENANAl0B4nm1oNt
"Yes. I found it in a Jamaican store," I say as I pick it up and hand it to her.521Please respect copyright.PENANAvZ5wHANUIS
521Please respect copyright.PENANAAEayotxL6R
521Please respect copyright.PENANAEzX2oKv2VJ
"Oh, fuck. This is... Caleb, I don't even know what to say," she whispers, turning the doll over, her eyes widening in surprise as she sees the other face.521Please respect copyright.PENANAIuGxeIsKWn
521Please respect copyright.PENANA9qS4p6RxX3
521Please respect copyright.PENANA6KJj6cJ0QF
She hugs me, and kisses my cheek, before retracting and rubbing her eyes, smiling at me.521Please respect copyright.PENANA2gat6VZbID
521Please respect copyright.PENANAAhQsm77LAb
521Please respect copyright.PENANA29l20ZChwT
"Incidentally, I brought something over here for you, too."521Please respect copyright.PENANAiXCf3n2ToB
521Please respect copyright.PENANAv6D4xGJRcD
521Please respect copyright.PENANASyK7cnECau
I raise my eyebrows in surprise.521Please respect copyright.PENANAjNZgm7NfIT
521Please respect copyright.PENANA4S0sGxBj4t
521Please respect copyright.PENANAYLNZx8cgCO
She takes out a tiny black doll which is attached to a card that says "Watchover Voodoo" at the top, and has some writing on the bottom.521Please respect copyright.PENANAjgVVLAaPls
521Please respect copyright.PENANA4g5VIFwGFA
521Please respect copyright.PENANAEeZssR3sOv
It's supposed to guide you," she says. "Now, I don't believe that some tiny doll on a piece of cardboard has magical powers, but I do believe that if you read an inspirational quote every day, you'll probably try to follow it."521Please respect copyright.PENANACVDOmvdzpS
521Please respect copyright.PENANAEDYG2ssE7y
521Please respect copyright.PENANAIDTOeLHWOW
I read the bottom, and it says:521Please respect copyright.PENANAjX4YnBrToM
521Please respect copyright.PENANA29gtwLu8RD
521Please respect copyright.PENANAesaVF4b5r7
Reggae Kid521Please respect copyright.PENANAdcMlYGAvLw
Keeps you in rhythm with nature and at peace with those around you.521Please respect copyright.PENANALB2xi9he3Z
521Please respect copyright.PENANAiGM1kQZfYM
521Please respect copyright.PENANAxIfIk2sCEV
"You lost your rhythm and piece of mind with that accident, and by extension, the piece that you had with those around you. I can feel the unease within you every time I hear your voice, every time I see you, every time I'm near you."521Please respect copyright.PENANAJHVOiC9PiB
521Please respect copyright.PENANAdHEiqCnZxe
521Please respect copyright.PENANAM8F4Bac9Iq
I think about it; I never realised that she knew just how much all of this is affecting me.521Please respect copyright.PENANAfqSXeoKfbg
521Please respect copyright.PENANAjsdLCeIcKZ
521Please respect copyright.PENANAQF5btkFloj
"You need to find your peace and rhythm again."521Please respect copyright.PENANACa4sF3oUOV
521Please respect copyright.PENANAJU87Dg55Hq
521Please respect copyright.PENANAo7eIrxjt6t
"Thank you, Evetta," I say, taking the doll from her.521Please respect copyright.PENANAziczjMT03E
521Please respect copyright.PENANA233q3T9HCy
521Please respect copyright.PENANALrzwJyV8Bg
Thank you for noticing.521Please respect copyright.PENANAPfcKKt0Pd3
521Please respect copyright.PENANAZ585ZqC0b9
521Please respect copyright.PENANA2Y4P3rI1xf
Thank you for caring.521Please respect copyright.PENANA0K2BMEnqji
521Please respect copyright.PENANAcTkOFnDlwJ
521Please respect copyright.PENANAV7DihE5nAs
Thank you for loving me.521Please respect copyright.PENANATAGdHl0ZGF
521Please respect copyright.PENANAonyytW3kJB
521Please respect copyright.PENANA9YQ3VzWtKI
And I do something that neither of us saw coming.521Please respect copyright.PENANAZjjvPb3JON
521Please respect copyright.PENANAr6SsAgGGlC
521Please respect copyright.PENANAhfkek1jFMv
I kiss her.
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