禁結之淚 - 溫柔

估唔到人嘅轉變可以咁大，由一個怕羞仔變成老師父。如果唔係我要成為一個主人，我諗我唔會做到依個地步。你幾年前問我，我唔會預想到依家嘅我係咁。

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「原來我個同學係人哋個奴。」我送小蕎返屋企之後迫不及待telegram夜夜，呢幾日佢要負責星期二表演嘅收尾，經常好忙。

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「靚唔靚女？有冇我咁正？」錄音傳嚟夜夜好興奮嘅聲音。果然夜夜同我一樣貪玩。

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「都可愛。」「佢苦惱緊同佢主人同男朋友之間嘅關係，佢主人話接受唔到佢有男朋友。」我再解釋。

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「如果接受唔到一開始就唔好收啦。」「屌完人先話接受唔到，畀我就咬斷佢條j。」我隔住部手機都感受到夜夜嗰份恨意。

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「我唔知佢主人係咩人，不過我識佢男朋友，遲啲出事我應該要同佢傾。」

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「我呢？如果我有男朋友你會點？」

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「你問過啦，我畀先算啦。」

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「你對我唔好，我就去溝仔，我大把仔溝架！」夜夜唔忿氣。

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「冇㗎啦，你係我㗎啦。」我又問「我聽日11點考完試，你有咩做呀？我嚟搵你食飯。」

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隔咗一陣，夜夜覆我「我聽日要去深水埗買嘢，你嚟搵我食晏囉。」

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「好呀，我完咗嚟搵你。」我再補充「你頭先嗰啲稱呼犯規，我每個會記低咗一次。」

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「唔公平呀！嗚！」夜夜對我抗議。

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我坐喺巴士嘅座位上，望住窗外嘅風景，因為小蕎嘅忙碌，我哋已經好耐冇正式咁拍拖，而家夜夜嘅出現，就好似出現咗一個親暱嘅對象。依份溫柔，我知道我遲早會沉迷，我可能會唔想返上所謂嘅正常生活。不過唔緊要，仆街啲講，活在當下嘛！

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呢晚 Tiffany冇搵我，就連我WhatsApp佢都冇覆，雖然聽日sem尾考試，但我估到佢而家唔係溫緊書。

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我腦海入面自然浮現Tiffany成為人哋跨下之奴嘅樣。

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一定好正！

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第二日考完試之後喺課室見到 Tiffany，見到佢嘅衣着同琴日一模一樣，明顯冇返屋企。

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「你同呀凱點呀？」我行近 Tiffany身邊問。

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「佢仲喺度嬲緊，同佢冷戰緊。」 Tiffany嘅表情睇落好平淡。不過比起上次好返啲

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「其實你同呀凱點解鬧交嘅？」我明知故問。

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「佢成日管到我咁嚴，我唔鍾意，所以咪鬧交。」

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呢個明顯唔係主因，不過我估佢唔會當面同我講佢同主人嘅事。

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「同呀凱傾下啦，佢緊張你啫。」

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一路講嘢之際，我哋已經行出左課室嘅門口，同學漸漸散去，有一個男仔企喺走廊。

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係呀凱。

我見呀凱向住我哋呢個方向走，佢同 Tiffany一定有嘢要講，我當然會知趣咁離開。

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但我偏偏唔會就咁樣走咗去。

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我當住呀凱面前摸左 Tiffany個頭一下，同 Tiffany講「你個男朋友嚟搵你啦。」講完就準備走。

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呀凱見到呢一幕，即刻加快腳步跑去我哋面前，拖住 Tiffany隻手，睥住我「咪撚搞我條女啦！」

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「我邊有搞呢？」我笑住講。

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「摸我條女個頭，你冇病呀嘛。」呀凱真係畀我依個行為激到五顏六色指住我屌。

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我見到Tiffany企喺呀凱隔離，呆咗，唔知畀咩反應。

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你呢個女朋友琴晚點止俾人摸頭，成晚做咗人哋隻母狗，你自己仲懵盛盛唔知，真係好笑。

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「你冷靜啲啦，你睇吓，其他人望住你啦。」我講。

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「算啦，唔好咁啦，我哋走啦。」Tiffany拉住呀凱隻手臂勸佢。

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「真係冇自信嘅人先會咁大反應。」我笑住準備走。

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「你唔好以為你係P我就唔敢打你。」呀凱凶我。

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「你照顧下你條女先啦。」我指着Tiffany。

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我望住 Tiffany講咗一聲「幫咗你啦」就轉身走咗。

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其實我唔知點解我要咁做，可能我內心只係唔忿氣呀凱有個女m女朋友，又或者睇唔過眼佢咁樣對 Tiffany，想滅一滅佢威風。我知道係幼稚，但係見到呀凱嬲到咁真係好爽。

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我同夜夜坐喺一間深水埗嘅餐廳食飯，望到夜夜戴住嘅頸圈，嗰種強烈嘅佔有慾真係好令人興奮。

頸圈果然係重要嘅信物。

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「你同你主人點呀？」「你同你男朋友點啊？」我分別用telegram同WhatsApp send咗訊息俾 Tiffany，當然兩個訊息之間係隔咗一段時間先send嘅。

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「冇嘢啊，佢小朋友啫。」Tiffany用WhatsApp回覆我，不過Telegram就仲未覆，可能佢仲同呀凱一齊。

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其實頭先我係有責任，但我非常同意「小朋友」依一句。

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我收起手機望住夜夜。

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「做咩咁望住我啊？」夜夜捂嘴笑。

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「個頸圈真係好靚。」我𢭃左一下佢嘅頸圈。「點睇都唔厭。」

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「我有份揀個鎖架。」

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「知你叻啦。」我捏咗夜夜塊面一下。小蕎對我非常信任，只要我同夜夜唔係公開場合做過分親暱嘅行為，例如錫錫呀拖手等等，就算畀佢撞到，我都能夠解釋。

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溫柔

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