162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuGl3wLfoy
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjPJTpuRq7
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOMLQxDvNY
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApskZGEpES
「咁耐嘅？」他問。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PoOp2r7ZF
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09hOSwOhcn
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVELdbnLAz
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5jqUXmTs3
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eyr4BuSco
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLWhx8BT6Y
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbupdOhjIcx
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qBdwyz7r8
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7xOZYe4Kx
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68g792pYV3
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SnscP9vSE
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBvsA5TtvD
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPqvPqLeiC
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5g3mF5uGc
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMGA4MLS9H
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGHyaqYWmm
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5RTdEV3TY
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDptxcYblbU
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiJ2wk9C66
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJJKOms8Gd
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsKwxkv1nW
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4VKQzSiqb
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1yftm0JMT
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlNLVqKu1B
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig2jsvvkgF
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsM10Inmvl0
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ69OYjGTgz
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvhdDsF5vj
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLS0eW188q
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0M24CjzVUq
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEN3bKwRgN
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDJSGGRmXN
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjiPHFPgW7
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScSBjGI5AB
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNabvKXZ5p
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbXHRCUcd4
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORkhpwUh3z
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsFVrRhA7E
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq1woPhbI4
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0hUiWiwOH
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hkNQX1b6D
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbc3ng62p5r
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4ohaADCS7
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUqtQqB0IB
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiJ99Y62d9
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmQJLMpK7S
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzDwcqv1o2
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3ZNedh82j
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdZ4cpSXru
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBQFsltZLP
「點解咁講？」我問。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wTHnLFyZi
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSk8WAmMW1
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJP0UDieWLJ
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SqiTzx1NP
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitkZ3PWYq0
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ut7mtomVR
「唔會，我唔會接受。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQKfvFkHLu
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9q23tVoTU
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn7AYPO4Tw
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhdlLbUKJR
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ad7t3yuNs
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzNWQhvG2E
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQyum6UEqt
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7O4aASj4xK
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PcE0GMGLz
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjnJKCn6w3
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMoSPzTuSo
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YX0JWpZgV
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EbOZocMjO
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbhisxwseR
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJr0Hf5x39E
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4mDwGIE2d
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPvUwaUyJz
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOQVcC29s0
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4xXM3PtBD
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JBTpovqEo
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Z7PFKbf5u
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWfbvq1tS4
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcIxspMRTK
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3VmVVFggV
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSO6xMeujH2
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhyNDiV0XD
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElEKxMorOD
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvq4CWSCFU3
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvy2fsLoWJ
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXlhauU1FI
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NHPiKljmV
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMLkqRVSCU
我為未發生的事情擔憂。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeUFveZ3QY
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7jzaphoeJ
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyxWNIoOeu
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0V7Gnugyub
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeGf627QOG
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSBmfSCzYo
「無呀。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj94nNWQG2C
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKCOE9VqUp
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnbdlquhjb
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiPP0FN975
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnGSqFPmA7
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEnb3y2hSk
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewjG8hJPu6
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TD4MLygaw
難過。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOTLMyxCBQ
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