205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzZoQ4FXXN
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv16ftFD66X
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvOYtJArRg
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhysAw7xvZ3
「咁耐嘅？」他問。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSnZBgCI4x
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3mRufAKEg
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxhYo0MyEw
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXteo3lIzxS
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2osY8U6Ed
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQFnpYsufx
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERUdfUyDBO
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfNSy1ydow
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6ht7Dn9KN
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlGCtXhhEF
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEWM8AbKcW
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjO99Lw3qj
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvBeAlriox
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1KjVXjJpS
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDolZDtGUL9
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8ONeG2DSi
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbxBfxissq
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvXxjv8w5y
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgZDg4HdMU
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlAIWcaEuP
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOF9CYgiLe3
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vBlxnrc6g
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7oHLRurLA
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpx6xOjDUeX
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03dcA2Bag2
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1FfiVfXFx
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmvkuP6NNq
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovzpQLzfHi
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EipR64rdn
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKq0GEdb6Y
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbndUn5DzVN
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmxKBLXM6r
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NfeGiQepP
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb5EcPrI7B
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ztrTLTwDR
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAouzDA8R0v
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrx6UTtU6V
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKpPfEXkvw
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJbjCPJ3Uz
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44djEcdiPt
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8GIbMvn0O
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdgUSNK8RE
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBDktnRSxa
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTViM9qPAAR
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1xKrFwL8D
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbknopVBcv
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMYlyfg2DJ
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZpANKrO1M
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNU8qqyW1wx
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdPtGGQcLf
「點解咁講？」我問。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6lrSN7ZTQ
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1r1E6T7uON
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6nn7cPQX9
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGmRbYlOSf
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2dGY3VdR3
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOxmwa44pW
「唔會，我唔會接受。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMpOL5R1s5
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTrQ64DGji
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinpj3Va1cE
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanpiARPY05
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqv0tksa7md
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPq9RzPl4e
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ626BLKXGgp
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFZlRzZj1o
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVNXMj3YLs
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgvrH4iuJ8
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzS1hLlru9
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7ynSy3Aku
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRVWjqqEvz
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE67yeVGqsh
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbLdrjTRIp
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zTjnPjwSp
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNqLzlMnD4
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUx56Jlzj7
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqdwqvcnkq
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscWfn8nKJU
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zSmZI8HXY
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QdiLDIRB2
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYxQN9jcib
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLFWEKA4L8
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomkLoqWE2o
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfP2caA4Dto
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHV2l1CbSn
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAl1ordq3i
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtb154PzRx
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYjCmL4dt5
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUPCq2CLZd
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vditF7RXM
我為未發生的事情擔憂。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oYlSyrSQW
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcwkBMulPH
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyu0XUdlvo
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGU4kiCc49
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtwiaqhavb
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIADNDcyF6q
「無呀。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOsSFu6S7J
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9waKgR6aH9
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZdwIE2uAS
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnFy9kyOpR
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9ibyyGoXY
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lGgSwfnI2
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6urjTT7dsy
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaDzJvCtgg
難過。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlGpgmaxvE
Penana
search
Loginarrow_drop_down
Registerarrow_drop_down
