（原作：美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍）
我是鬼，五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印，今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIM3BMEfnB
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxWO4SWrZa
「啊，我不小心撞到了。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2b8zQoWhA
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmO9X71sU1
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架，那十字架做工精細，將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生，偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子，這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動，嚇得他面色一陣發白。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu10cPhYCTp
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufWhWy5QtL
我滿意點頭。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOicJmzZim
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDXX4ff2kM
很好，這就是我要的效果，愧疚吧！顫抖吧！你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJ2G7hnwM8
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd7haCSqO3
一旁的高個青年放下行李，接過十字架研究了會，搖頭說：「沒辦法，賠錢吧。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFjgtuFXuF
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzW4hx4NyH
「不知貴不貴？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjvia3G547
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyOQG7amHj
「應該還好。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Bl5ba6rEk
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcI9JKOKDUe
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmtWrzvmIt
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQnH75XXi4
「我也是，也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqo9nrhO2F
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXQV5AznWZ
兩人說著，就扔下十字架，各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器，分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYHFrkyXBq
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6l6vFXM89
我震驚了。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qycm0uN94
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarScuTQhiw
不對啊，你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎？怎麼可以這麼鎮定？849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfTkosubMA
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPMeu7cSiK
話說回來，剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言？849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC1RTD3i58
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDOOHcuZGp
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊，「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcDV1CC8LM
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n3G3El6rr
喔，總算聽到熟悉的語言，我立刻湊過去，邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計，誰知我一靠近，就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZWREjLFkv
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX01jBldkPf
What the hell?849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90TAbghJDw
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtm2RQFEcN
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西？為何每一個拆開我都懂，合起來我就看不懂？難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文？849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPDslwx0Kv
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAfPMSDU8I
幸好我躲了半天，都沒感覺到不適，才又慢慢飄過去，聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話，什麼Project，什麼Function，If不If，還有……Parent & child？849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN2TjhUKha
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIzS3XRiQD
嘶——849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXBiDQslcb
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zkYSIA75v
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉，開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣，管他們是日本人還是越南人，就算是印度來的，只要是活人，這口糧我都吃定了！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0o893exZBh
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5DLe1sn0j
陰風輕輕地吹，一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAIKF6EJfQ
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnsVkmyHYc
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦？很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑，捶了高個子一記。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbh2kru4rH3
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjrbGAuJaz
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭，投以茫然目光，「哈啊？什麼？我聽不懂。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5x8bG7tVfu
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zJyjYygub
矮個子撇了撇嘴，咕噥一句「又來！」就看回「鎮鬼經文」，「沒什麼，你看這裡……」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESk6xJpDQL
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqgBBOTZUr
「 嗯。」高個子應完，就順手攬住矮個子的腰，看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMnrOs2ymB
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWIGxjIZ9w
我也投以茫然目光，感覺哪裡怪怪的。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqlSZkNCBt
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunormIzHxs
但身為一個高端的鬼，必須不能使用重複伎倆，於是我飄到高個子身邊，俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語，「嘻嘻嘻，要不要陪我玩？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzP5dA4nMOR
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IXclMgesu
然而高個子不為所動！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPcCaniLsc
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tqFfU26RT
我不死心，再說：「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn15eOL4eiJ
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVwl1bQPD3
高個子依然面不改色！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKs9hYvz05d
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA7cnWKoKn
我大怒，直接用吼的，「你死定了！我要殺了你！殺殺殺！」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGvpYzCx9t
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCEsyxGU82
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵，取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp17B7X9092
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0da4RCxqad
這一刻，我吐血，如果鬼還有血的話。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aGNoPKazS
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaI3bot25qe
矮個子比手畫腳地問：「怎麼了？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7tvojX0wh
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugv3tBVdhL
高個子搖搖頭，「助聽器有點雜音，大概之前下雨淋到了。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMcfLf0oLz
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEIJy3kvdj
馬的！原來這傢伙是個聾子！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPDjcJTQru
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tAz7RiaC1
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉，直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器，起身從行李掏出衣物，一前一後地進了浴室，我才精神一振。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkydQTH19Yp
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWfFapjMKn
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係，才讓我出師不利，現在就應該趁他們不在，先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前，準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時，就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物，那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛，這殺傷力不大，但污辱性極強！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGNIJVdScC
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFT1xXYIxQN
這時，浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbdbeNV7w9
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpoC3Nbvng
「為什麼要擺那包零食？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQXIuICq5V
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkXnDgiiS1
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神，只要有綠乖乖，所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuVpP4DmdT
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXL8dTq7aU
「所以不能吃嗎？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgQFIXExWg
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54jWGjFTFU
「不能，吃了就沒用了。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfd00xxvnLN
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGHhtrV4va
「但我餓了。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUc19h90mQ
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzAA9vBv9I
「……」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQhWnT4eiQ
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTroQre49eQ
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智，絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁，只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看，便動用所有力量顯現身影，以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室，並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkAbmaRBKJ
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9jjkGsgaQ
哇哈哈哈，驚嚇吧！恐懼吧！人……849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9geAjS7ZbP
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52r3TqQTBB
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHTSmpjRAw
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZrrYgsZK4
「小語……小語……」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2TTjclluU
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokmt5gGejJ
Gya——849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlSuwjgGXE
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoe8a3qT9V
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tHAGnr7CG
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfZ9AzNjoF
They are fucking gay!849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡby5J3gYiCo
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlIedEjyXW
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在，徹底嚇破我的小心靈，讓我一秒縮回十字架，還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEIex9JZBk
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUTaXGWXxM
Oh no！No！No！No！No！Hell no！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyCGZwHoZi
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEO4G8Lm4vx
五十年過去，沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下，上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊！我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXufJ9ElP72
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDfrkht9lO
浴室裡，秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人，沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧，「等、等一下，你剛有沒有聽見什麼？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vLDABuVeo
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2ZLHemj6I
「嗯？什麼？」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺，臉上的神情既迷離又色情，顯然是又聽不見。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyg3BAdNK8
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJS6dI3J8OT
秋瞇了瞇眼，心想算了，就夾緊雙腿，繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvXqBYxKV9
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFouveLDUaC
Treat or trick，不給糖，就「搗」蛋！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjpMrSTqOn
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTn6scBDKrf
（P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼，觀念保守，用詞不政確，請見諒（艸）849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWejsFku1Q
後記：
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動，這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍，恰逢萬聖節，就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動，真的是非常有趣的體驗，為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記，結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格，來寫個憂鬱正經風，讓文友猜不到我是誰，但我想來想去，實在想不到切入點，就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外，抽到我的文友是君羊，寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷，喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看！
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMNWngZdl4
