（原作：美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍）
我是鬼，五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印，今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbBkDgAlhg
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLY9i1dIhUW
「啊，我不小心撞到了。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0qF6aiOLz
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9dmazbFH7
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架，那十字架做工精細，將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生，偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子，這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動，嚇得他面色一陣發白。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrxlXnWnse
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZdAEM060W
我滿意點頭。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFaaBkBEJC
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvaSYw1q8X
很好，這就是我要的效果，愧疚吧！顫抖吧！你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwLTKchAA2
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBmSafD8r5
一旁的高個青年放下行李，接過十字架研究了會，搖頭說：「沒辦法，賠錢吧。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00lyULmgNn
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHBFo5nWMV
「不知貴不貴？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3y6ibTETJ
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SbkT9lob4
「應該還好。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqiZkmDiDn
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfIbmlXghx
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaYXVxSiju
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EJLHaa9cR
「我也是，也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJi993GXSEb
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbYRmeV1iB
兩人說著，就扔下十字架，各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器，分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9AS3V079N
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpjNHpFzy9
我震驚了。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡej6MLgkeTl
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmslkhafRk
不對啊，你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎？怎麼可以這麼鎮定？849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AkWqdhzU3
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIixEggJUcO
話說回來，剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言？849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlJ258kbsr
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgde3chSTHS
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊，「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFk6XKMPF1G
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdmSnXBZ3w
喔，總算聽到熟悉的語言，我立刻湊過去，邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計，誰知我一靠近，就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2uksV7ADi
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qILBSK0Yw
What the hell?849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpj2iCZRcrN
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bgsOkqXHT
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西？為何每一個拆開我都懂，合起來我就看不懂？難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文？849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLX1xfnoxO
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkWjD1vqbq
幸好我躲了半天，都沒感覺到不適，才又慢慢飄過去，聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話，什麼Project，什麼Function，If不If，還有……Parent & child？849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1f46QLc4d
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQH8m9Ro6JR
嘶——849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymtUuRAYWr
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWXryBMYXQ
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉，開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣，管他們是日本人還是越南人，就算是印度來的，只要是活人，這口糧我都吃定了！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2QYH6hcjd
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGDs1q6xXU
陰風輕輕地吹，一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsydf53WHC
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRt5iXdy7n
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦？很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑，捶了高個子一記。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikk9fFQZG1
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JKdMHjf7v
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭，投以茫然目光，「哈啊？什麼？我聽不懂。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78vw9Jsf2V
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKUER08sSM
矮個子撇了撇嘴，咕噥一句「又來！」就看回「鎮鬼經文」，「沒什麼，你看這裡……」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWWynsuGTl
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRddw9r3e3i
「 嗯。」高個子應完，就順手攬住矮個子的腰，看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B3oQkAkxP
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudElqMBqOf
我也投以茫然目光，感覺哪裡怪怪的。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OVSkt92N1
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0ZabdR4zH
但身為一個高端的鬼，必須不能使用重複伎倆，於是我飄到高個子身邊，俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語，「嘻嘻嘻，要不要陪我玩？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJq1nzgynp
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmy7oTi6Jr
然而高個子不為所動！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9VNHQUDE8
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcm8smAZWz
我不死心，再說：「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiDp1ffklx
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkeMUMlHcN
高個子依然面不改色！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIv5VblsvRN
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiyBqkF63b
我大怒，直接用吼的，「你死定了！我要殺了你！殺殺殺！」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YdJHsNbP6
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg24LGloWXS
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵，取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pOR8EvgLj
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsk02HUOej
這一刻，我吐血，如果鬼還有血的話。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJefTu5zR1
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoO1uufpehY
矮個子比手畫腳地問：「怎麼了？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdtLdH6Kea
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRiT2YrEBm
高個子搖搖頭，「助聽器有點雜音，大概之前下雨淋到了。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUFUfCDg7h
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHFxOWE3kW
馬的！原來這傢伙是個聾子！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyc0oMPd7wl
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuzFzPSTuC
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉，直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器，起身從行李掏出衣物，一前一後地進了浴室，我才精神一振。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ707XJVljNs
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjmSHm1a9d
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係，才讓我出師不利，現在就應該趁他們不在，先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前，準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時，就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物，那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛，這殺傷力不大，但污辱性極強！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9TBzpaTng
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Axc1cOZo8
這時，浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJQnTC4jcC
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3OTr7efKL
「為什麼要擺那包零食？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4vbyzj3on
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dHjzNPXLB
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神，只要有綠乖乖，所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74ETkOo4mO
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwdHpVMk8M
「所以不能吃嗎？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDjnWIHRCp
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0OmHdAoK5
「不能，吃了就沒用了。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXT8qVulRo
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYDBLrqFki
「但我餓了。」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdH2vmuzq5
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu003vWdOXI
「……」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaf1Bwp4p5
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQDnBRXi66
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智，絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁，只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看，便動用所有力量顯現身影，以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室，並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrNuaWXvUg
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDghB3l3YO
哇哈哈哈，驚嚇吧！恐懼吧！人……849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7flybZ0JiU
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCmre4sgIf
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfaovObNBp
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dU5MlbTEi
「小語……小語……」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipV5IS7C1B
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgINL9WtB09
Gya——849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnITMia9iYS
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxBprBfwag
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡre5XPj0pGn
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdob8zSkIg
They are fucking gay!849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldIf5zLzuK
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUV4Q9vSpe3
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在，徹底嚇破我的小心靈，讓我一秒縮回十字架，還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ979UgP5KUo
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfzTU79BmG
Oh no！No！No！No！No！Hell no！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHF6ylCKXf
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDFTlYkb4s
五十年過去，沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下，上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊！我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZNTC8I8QO
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIXCO5y14a
浴室裡，秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人，沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧，「等、等一下，你剛有沒有聽見什麼？」849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZ3UIP2hVT
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3SLCqC1HF
「嗯？什麼？」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺，臉上的神情既迷離又色情，顯然是又聽不見。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpphnlzTZ4
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMZB6m2zIN
秋瞇了瞇眼，心想算了，就夾緊雙腿，繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWClXfj9Eg
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CNrhXCcT5
Treat or trick，不給糖，就「搗」蛋！849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAjvo4Zd2i
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqc1gubi4B
（P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼，觀念保守，用詞不政確，請見諒（艸）849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVY17pV6vY
後記：
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動，這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍，恰逢萬聖節，就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動，真的是非常有趣的體驗，為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記，結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格，來寫個憂鬱正經風，讓文友猜不到我是誰，但我想來想去，實在想不到切入點，就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外，抽到我的文友是君羊，寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷，喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看！
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
849Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStEhPzHk0F
