「你還可以嗎？」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJKEVrqBSj
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOb5e7xzXEP
「無法不可以。」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHx201RXtG
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk0XlG3ApC
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lIiXm0M1A
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCQyrhlXBt
「謝謝你。」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cahkI7JOY
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCCuBLxZc4
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8LLhAiROP
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVixl1tcnOx
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgon2nk6oaD
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEARHQVU4g
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vx6AoJv2y
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDry3SxURBy
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZK3miV9vFL
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQYG6gQXdX
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmloOxYVQT
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9uHUifvjB
「老婆……」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd75jxlmXK0
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDqWUjdyE9
「有困難？金錢？」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwUkJWgiXN
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAVNbkYRLC
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvniW6ZTbag
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCUS8bcUN0
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLto81bqBn
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuJsoyHuSx
「嗯。」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVHJZGiA9U
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaEkRxbytr
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwYxgJX1p5
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObxqjns23B
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdl8M7Q9q9
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwDz7VlfaM
無能。無力。無奈。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yIblW16Xs
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajQnzQ4viR
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUYpi3KPZW
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UQAgHjGO0
剪不斷，理還亂。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGEylclDQt
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51UDKtxO9i
勿剪，別理。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnynA9pPpx7
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgGiMBgYh3
待時日將其化解。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhFUaliPPR
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxzV4ANtqe
莫操心。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5pPZ9DlmK
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0j6PJj3dJ
莫操心？630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zTEeHPJMs
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGS6JuY3RNs
如何莫操心？630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIJVSOwsUd
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpncbin9cSJ
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CpwyDgWsG
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOBiawI9Nk
撐多久？如何撐？630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJh4L8BELm
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROcSDvm8Xt
不知道……630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIfZ07g4jM
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2Ccdvm50Y
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TNPx94ArI
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOsbkEH43f
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM8JcTS9kO
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabCaQ8AD2Q
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDqcraUsmL
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfbXp4uoYo
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uDxUKys88
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoQ6kRAsWi
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorrRPgjVXw
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82QQLr8xkH
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyn9o1XusX
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu2rCXl2xi
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEkgEQumt6
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tnPujWN43
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfpI12xDTu
我笑。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOIr8KNRKy
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdogakV5YK
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMd4k9An2sB
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQ2i3tw3Dj
忽爾不想回家。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxg71Xt0CY1
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPiyteJdrm
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXm6zcTgq6i
「好的。」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXtUbffYn4
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6L52Wiau2T
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Jw4vhisKF
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxx8vaOaD9H
只會苦了自己。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdHZ6OJedu
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLId6j8bKj
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOMKJXncPk
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVbEKSfS8r
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWSUUusHLh
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHNsRPgCTN
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGGObgiH8z
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSh6JYwQ5K
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rPxSr5j5X
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXhzS4P7Pa
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuFUjEK49h
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX3X0GWTTH
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9u2Jd2Dxz
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmc2K49UKEu
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7JDmVu3xp
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17oXAJWT1p
一、二、三、四、五……630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapwj3hIZFr
註：630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXulGnIyvDI
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOCZZ89S5O
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCO2XNV8Eg
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQmDIMaDMn
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscgUPxSE7T
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3PxH2iUe3
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRnuRBGpjH
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmRHKTnMQz
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6c6kyYEpf
