「你還可以嗎？」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk50dLXTlDf
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeqyfHxt4Y
「無法不可以。」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfkPw884Da
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZUyHIGicC
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwW6Noj0qn
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoEDXrBtU9
「謝謝你。」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHD1dOVYGw
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5PMgPNUwW
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfUCJCxMPl
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVc1nJtyvf
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69Xho9IBlk
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQRjGQYQMT
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFw92NUTgyl
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0o7yWZuyi1
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4LHOApdrL
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKb9AKrNqb
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskQFelvCUa
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAeZbxNja8
「老婆……」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MvmKWjsAM
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwZZ0DDlVT
「有困難？金錢？」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjEa9qFDiy
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7BppChVOS
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznuGjl7x3V
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RlIeXAiT8
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvViehO3wr
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSDVozghqS
「嗯。」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JZYST2vEy
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjpt4iNl2d
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tqv3ZCZnT
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxIAfFGBww
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJimcc1VVF8
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PY0faBGdg
無能。無力。無奈。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTA9IM2jmX
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEnU1twaux
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAITwB1vUVu
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTNHcPrt6B
剪不斷，理還亂。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMHuyJGyYt
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmhMZ3cISM
勿剪，別理。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpPiRoePxS
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKA5bhLJtpR
待時日將其化解。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMkBmLDRJU
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopbgGM55yK
莫操心。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3rbM9G2k1
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPWSbbkkVW
莫操心？696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmTkU34FQJ
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbcCV28tSi
如何莫操心？696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziLdSe4oxG
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5cAaKPKFI
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTctmAl7KO
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnczGhpV0iZ
撐多久？如何撐？696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPiuEiH76T
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1yrNNWedD
不知道……696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeiwVDKK3p
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyVKwRF5wL
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUPJ1EELhf
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0eGd1fpH8
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZEDsuZUuq
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlUsCPNXub
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjG8EsmsAh
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5et7SFWw0A
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfLyGEnSKY
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyM2CNHdQ02
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlhS5gPEcK
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4unzomiuxW
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5hAYWJUIH
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJpfM6jQzg
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhiRf0W3N2
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLhyQL0xCr
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUcqiAmGEt
我笑。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQysEMz5h3P
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PjBrvPO07
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTEP3zXnBz
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC5pkdi2Q9
忽爾不想回家。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gXZjD3bGS
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0RvL8zSZD
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNtcNYGbnu
「好的。」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ99FOYcGNP
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZEap2Gh0v
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nG1GpkeWT
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBg8YgByJe
只會苦了自己。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqEocTMLSg
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZi0xnxSfI
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVdQFJ1Lnp
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZ5oOZM1q9
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7l4ecy3Ztx
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAc4rXkxZD
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4AAmS0TuW
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSHknZZjop
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNILENH4t4
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzxrKTQlmg
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm1mmjjsjP
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhZAqDa51F
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiFg4pkqAX
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDmk6Vq7bO
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsAmm2jVJe
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgXUAv6bMB
一、二、三、四、五……696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BfyAyNeyh
註：696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcp0tNLfpUE
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOCIp2t5iA
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBBHClzEuu
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCdDnlmA1Z
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XefgLB1xj
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEFJpXVhcv
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpg6veS6hi
696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWs8cvIZZ5m
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlcay7oYxj
