09.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIKqeDkZmX
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGt2qq6KVfa
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIMsuKHn5y
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEL3YjjvoL6
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUmlx4jgme
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoqBJafLsF
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7oGkHl0Ck
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBYfbnkGtG
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbTisgWzHa
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhv3k23oTn
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfcVBUZs5M
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbuAVH2ecp
「怎麼了？」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5xYO9RjD7
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfw7bQ7RlRY
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGNRCAzSRR
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8DgQgfqGK
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Kp0bKUaVO
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJ93YWBdzj
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI87OSvs3d
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghkJ9nOkMj
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEQ92RN6MC
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkH8v579Ip
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVURjYybt3
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJiA4bcMg4
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wjSTXikva
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MXMiIhkrT
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvJ6qswv4e
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqAnpfauWu
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjqPgtzvv2
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7meIX269yz
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWblICOXGD
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdH1qfcmfV
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FT5xRm5A4
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEzoe48sS9
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsdIqFYa9T
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhbrzoy7lV
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UB7u4bKwF
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevHFoCIAVg
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M9pzwjddn
「也要。」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMrmnPjIb8
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxbjmxWlei
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tPJIQGx9N
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl7kTr3RkU
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUJya16gDo
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPQgkmaJ2B
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJWGGG523O
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y6OigOR3o
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LiIJ19rwx
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzDEGulnct
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohtDBuIHgf
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnzWMY8cKH
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwX7cd5AAo
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLSwQX8Sfj
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Aekqe9qkY
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPUtzDJJto
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRzz8yLo9X
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFPlZBbnOp
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQXGqU6k1p
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbVZeoZdDh
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVhbr6d2qp
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeeZP6cTLl
「愛的本質？」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOTfxDfuUd
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv9lq5x3yk
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgD2k8uli2P
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMwr0MXCM1
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4H1YlThwa
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxb4PQ5KtU
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94T9kXLTMe
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMRnU66RDX
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCepuCex2Vi
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7xCTvml8g
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEqhTHi61A
「新年快樂。」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLRRBdQ4U1
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLHImfM1Hm
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyPtBVynkv
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEbKE0BtdC
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wqvKhhK4n
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSFqPm8TKD
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZA58zQhJd2
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIp6f2prXbz
「新年快樂，傑。」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmG0Bpq7gvE
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFF68PLzS2
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6XA8rZ4HD
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFL6BUVQAzL
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxb596gWCZ
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDQNOK1Ns6
10.224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcBP8eKrcp
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhQHIOIQ6B
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB6cNJ5zSJ
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrY30m6TZz
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHaiJZiRPc
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwyDl380cz
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwD3Zk1T7m
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTn50cYmMn
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAEQlyx9N1
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu5sEP5G7z
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegbe3Pn7la
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzafoSCQXZ
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpxgpVXaYz
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObMEgPxeH7
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tjN96Zd0W
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Yf0WiKIx
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy92J8jfuVk
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wVjZWh9FI
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHfAyfj8Jg
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVfNU9n1WU
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUBPRGqmBI
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVBEE7qO0Y
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKaU4AEcXk
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rqJ7dsWD0
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeklwxoOeBs
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFRYZ9MHdp
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDICJMBff4Z
他對我說：不進來嗎？224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohp5EHxsxs
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mTihlK33Q
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfsQHFPbP1
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIK5FqeYJJ
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lMufxtJj9
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5c1op7M0fM
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPHpc20F4h
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYD1im476r
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGH32EPufa
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZbKNgZH7K
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPSXoxGJWo
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEBVk0UpPP
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJfXSoxOVZ
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KPryhbVlJ
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHbWET0Wld
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKmBrdZOde
我好像從未了解過他。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGfUBvGU4O
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzFOlnN9dR
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs24d0cgw4i
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt3bHzgWv4
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPm06Ar5yj
「是你嗎？」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86sKoak8IY
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPf20Xo1oB
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IqvIEGoX9
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3rz2ch9I7
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBriY6mAb6
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWu6ViRS7oB
夏油傑笑了一下。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsgvnrtBGH
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4sjyxTB3z
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuLtJNM48S
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvyzytVn9Q
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCxSHZTJe4
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmNPCyY5Q4
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KdIt0BseE
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsLhCKbtuT
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rmiaItj3x
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NuYhNxh41
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDh4nSZUNdj
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdEaHun32T
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8om6YTZw76
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdpG0jjI3x
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglJAnKfBYS
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNI2r6ypV4
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIGfzwDaLQ
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCKVplv3LW
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgBwtpFJqU
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3NkndmZ1h
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuKsmYrWIg
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LBlCkDrxY
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WvMUFqeBg
就這樣吧。224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavqdc9PIBP
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pGqueI0Be
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKDCdxm97w
224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1kEMN3NNk
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCWDRE0Zsl
240815 10 二修224Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVZ0dqgFWt
