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Psalm 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
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Esther
The sun went to rest as the moon rose. It's surface reflecting the sun's light. Esther sat across her mother at the dining table their eyes settled on the kids that ran around the lounge without a care in the world. Her mother seemed lost in thought and Esther contemplated bringing up the school fees that had to be paid to Mama Sandra.
Finally after a alot of hesitation she turned to her mother. "This afternoon Mama Sandra confronted me about the school fees we hadn't paid"
Her mother turned to her,her eyes glazed over. "So what did you say to her?"
Esther hesitated, fidgeting she exhaled "I told her that you'll pay her at the end of the month"
Her mother let out a humorless chuckle. "You better find a way to pay her then"
Esther gasped "Why would you say such a thing?"
"Am I the one that told you to go and tell that woman lies?"
"So what would you have had me say?" Esther enquired, her mother shrugged and turned away from her an indication that,to her, the conversation was over. Esther tried suppressing her irritation. She inhaled and exhaled, inhaled and exhaled and when she finally composed herself she tried confronting her mother again. "You know how Mama Sandra can be. If we don't pay her, she might not allow them go to her creche anymore"
"So what do you want me to do?"
"Can you pay her?"
Out of the blue, her mother's head snapped towards her. Rage swimming in her orbs "Do you think money grows on trees!? Or that it falls from the sky?! Do I look like a magician that can go and abra-ca-dabrathe money out of nowhere. Please. PLEASE! I am tired. Do not frustrate me. Just Don't! RUBBISH!" Her mother stormed out the room in a pit of rage leaving Esther in tears.
"Yaya?" Thomas nudged Esther's knee and Ester crouched to be in his level. "Why is mammy angwy" Esther quickly wiped her tears trying not to alarm the kids.
She shook her head and put a fake smile on her face "Mommy is not angry. She is just very tired and stressed because of work. Ok. Don't worry about that. Now come. Let's go and eat then we can go and sleep." Esther tickled his belly leading him to erupt into a fit of giggles. She smiled as he rolled on the floor in ecstacy.
She walked into the the small room that was kept as a kitchen, with small space to move around she looked through cupboards to look for what they would eat that night. To her dismay, all the cupboards were empty except for a bag of bread, a tub of butter and spoilt milk.
'How convenient' she thought to herself
She cut the bread into slices and rubbed a generous amount of butter onto it. And that was what they ate for the night. She had no idea what they were going to eat the next day but she was grateful that at least they hadn't slept on an empty stomach
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"Esther. Can you at least hear me out please." Esther ignored the pleading man as she spead walked to school, anything to get away from his presence "You can't ignore me forever" she sighed in defeat and turned around and put on a tight smile.
"What do you want. I thought I told you to leave me alone" Esther scowled
",Just hear me out. Please." Her eyes narrowed
"You have two minutes before I start loosing interest" she said as she tapped on her imaginary watch
His eyes sparkled with hope. "Esther. I really really like you. I know I've said this many times but you keep pushing me away. All I want is a chance and I promise to prove my genuine feelings for you."
"Emmanuel look." Esther sighed, feeling like a devil for refusing his proposal "We spoke about this already. It won't work out. I'm really, extremely sorry but I can't be your girlfriend Emmanuel. Not now. Not ever. It just can't happen." The hope that sparkled in his eyes crumbled to pieces as he stared at her sorrowfully
Esther looked into his eyes, and those familiar turquoise blue orbs sparkled back at him. He was her childhood friend. Her companion and comforter since birth. They were always in cahoots,partners in crime and it felt like yesterday that their naive 7year old selves would run around teasing, laughing and playing with each other.
But it was life's horrific humancycle that caused an earthquake into their relationship. Just a slight crack that grew bigger as days passed.
As Esther reached her state of puberty. She found herself catching feelings for her supposed friend. She accustomed a crush for him and that caused a disruption in their friendship. Meetings and playdates became akward. She began avoiding meeting him with the fear of embarrassing herself in his presence.
As seconds turned into minutes,minutes into hours and hours into days. They found themselves drifting apart. Until even the memory of what once was, became blurry.
Esther and her family had moved out and she knew that was the end of their relationship, however, she heard rumours about him.
People said that he had impregnated many girls requesting them to abort the children in the process. He had even been named the 'sharp shooter'. They said that if he just spent one night with a woman he could get them pregnant with no difficulty.
Some nights she cried herself to sleep for obviously he hadn't missed her presence (like she did his) for he was spending his time with other woman who were probably more beautiful than she was. After days of misery and loneliness, she advised herself to forget about him. To move on and remove him from her memory, for he obviously didn't deserve her. She dragged her sinful feelings and thoughts into a closet and locked them tightly. But obviously her lock must have been made in China, for it seemed to have snapped the second Emmanuels face reappeared. Allowing all her emotions and feelings to sneak out. Slapping her in the face, a punishment for their entrapment.
Tears threatened to fall from Esther's face as all the memories, of their childhood together came flooding back with full force. She fought the urge to succumb to his pleads of becoming his girlfriend for she knew he just wanted to get into her pants and after that he'll throw her away. But the sincerity she saw in his eyes caused her to doubt her conclusions.
"Esther" Emmanuels voice brought her out of her thoughts. She shut her eyes and squeezed them trying to compose herself.
"Emmanuel my choice is final. I don't want to be in a relationship. Ok?And your two minutes were over long ago" she turned to leave
"Is it because of what they say?" He called out to her and she stopped in her tracks and turned to him
"What?" She questioned
"Are you denying me because of what they say? That I impregnate woman and tell them to abort the babies." Esthers heart skipped a beat. "I promise you that I have never, ever impregnated a woman, talk less of encouraging them abort a child. My child, for crying out loud. I would never ever,ever encourage murder. I'm not a bloody murderer. Ok. I'm not. I'm so bloody sorry that I can't fricken look like you and everyone else in this bloody community. I'M BLOODY SORRY."
Esther stared heartbroken at Emmanuel. His eyes turned red due to the unshed tears in his eyes. "Emmanuel you know that isn't the reason I don't want to be with you"
"Really?" Emmanuel stared back at her blankly. His cold tone sent shivers down Esther's spine " Then whats the reason? Is it because of the colour of my skin?"
"Emmanuel" she said softly trying to sooth him. She looked down, avoiding his eye-contact. "Please believe me. That's not the reason I don't want to be with you. It's complicated. My mom... If she finds out she'll kill me and you. Please understand."
"She doesn't have to know,my love" he took a step forward, moving closer to her, attempting to reach out to her. Pain struck him like thunder strikes a tree as she took a step backwards avoiding his touch.
"Emmanuel please"
"It's ok. I understand" he said coldly. And Esther looked up to him. Her heart breaking to pieces at his far-away expression.
" Emmanuel." She said and pulled out her hand trying to reach out to him but he moved away from her and she now knew how painful it was to be rejected. A sigh left her " I'm sorry" she managed to say as she summoned her courage and turned to continue her journey to school. All the while feeling Emmanuels longing stare on her retrieving figure.
~~~~~~~~~~
"You told me that he had called me and wanted to speak to me. Why would you lie about something like that?" Esther asked Jane.
Jane shrugged nonchalantly "It was meant to be a joke. Why would you take that kind of a thing serious." Esther stared ahead stoically "What? So you took what I said seriously. Omg you really thought that a boy would wanna speak to you. Come out of you fantasy Esther."
Esther scolded herself for feeling affected, she shouldn't be a wet blanket, it was just a bad joke made by a friend she convinced herself. So she rolled her eyes268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqiP3V7IQa
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and put a smile on her face.
"Well change of story. My mom said tonight we'll be having a pizza night. I'm so excited that she's finally coming out of that whole diet nonsense and finally I can eat normal human food and not feel like a rabbit. But like why pizza though, why not go to an Italian or Mexican restaurant I swear my family won't evolve from their cheepskate ways...l" Esther smiled a sad smile. Here Jane was speaking about having a pizza night, while Esther had no clue whether she was even going to eat anything that night. As Jane continued ranting about how awful her life was. Esther blocked it all out.
Her thoughts wandered to the events of that morning; she had woken up and as usual her mother had left already. Esther finished her morning prayers and was about to go and get the kids when she heard the phone ring with a notification alert. Her eyes narrowed in confusion for it was odd that her mother forget her phone, it was like a prized possession.
Esther hesitated taking the phone but her curiousity got the best of her. She picked the phone up and opened it, her eyes widening at what she saw
Last night was the best.268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheZnArTAw7
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You're just so sweet.268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuPbXbqtvJ
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I transferred the money to your bank and even added interest.268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1usiwhozqx
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Can't we meet up again on Saturday.268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXC34gPYYz
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I know you don't work on Saturdays but I already miss you and I want you so bad.268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfejrFepiId
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Think about it. Ill pay you double 268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6TynDYvjx
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Xoxo Rockie
Esther quickly dropped the phone back on the tabie. She tried stopping the bile from passing through her throat as she started feeling nauseous. This first think that came to her kind was prostitution.
But could it be?
She felt as if she had committed a sin even thinking those thoughts.268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnABgSbQX4g
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It was wrong to associate the woman who gave birth to her with such names. But what she had seen could not be erased from her memory no matter how much she tried.
Her mother had told her that she worked as a housekeeper for some Mrs Ann but at this point Esther began to doubt it.
Esthers heart told her that the message had meant something totally different from what she had insinuated. But her brain refused to believe that. Her logic was against her emotions. 268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPL5g9E24W
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And in the battle of logic and emotions everyone knows who comes out victorious.
"Are you even listening to me...?" Esther snapped out of her thoughts
"Y-yes I'm listening. You were talking about Mexicans and Italians"
Jane stared at Esther with her mouth agape, she rolled her eyes and said "I don't even know why I bother..."
"Hey gyals!!!" Rebecca yelled as she walked towards them with Anna trailing behind her with a 268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmm8MOoZmo
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smile on her face.
"Hey rebbie. What's up?!"
"Nothing much. Just that a test is coming up for our class"
"WHAT!!" Esther screeched causing Rebecca to roll her eyes and Jane eyes to widen "How does that fall under the category of 'nothing much'. I heard that if we pass that test we'll be awarded with scholarships"
"Stop being a nerd, Esther. It's just a dumb test. Nobody cares for it."
"I need the scholarship. Obviously it's going to be important to me" Esther reasoned. Rebecca and Jane turned to her with raised eyebrows
"Your parents can't pay school fees?" Rebecca enquired
Esthers mouth opened and closed, an answer not able to escape from her, looking like a fish out of water. Before she was expected to answer the bell rang. She released a breath she didn't know she was holding. "I have to get to pure maths. Bye guys"268Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbzFx6lss9
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