"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4XPe7Jhy8
"Okay, bye."364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOxafvkVsJ
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpC2XbmXhl
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHOxSdxuQY
At least until I return for another counseling session.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbBOxsdc0x
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0MuvIL5ue
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJYURiwpxW
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgq6rGnGdv
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTZzJGn7mt
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTZrbCubH0
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTAAs6aHqq
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDRjuRN23M
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBi8Hd92ZXx
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RsW9UWUtg
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEM0KfOgaE
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHWP4x4JU3
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ6TaSaaJK
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARUxNl8B72
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAUISHHCbo
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrEa6ABiEe
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcInzo84hPU
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdBzeOaoRU
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8FxtzkseV
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv8oV4tqq3
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSGx7VRdh5
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNvLRDRLst
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3UcQNwPA8
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSP11ZQQNOP
This is DEPRESSION.”
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAisMqSPKlU
364Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlippK0ewsS
