I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTFsfJf697
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmmJcel8CD
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuYZGY8irW
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCiUyH4yD4
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPH095qrEi
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lzrmAhUWv
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqkPsFmwUy
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPR3OWO6PE
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1x8tqVQPrJ
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJOqxjETMc
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKWvIThUkO
His face brightened.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADOaD85xnh
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnZYXvejjt
I nodded once and went back towards my home.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYgjdw0xb6
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ606uN2amr1
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPeJqdHrdK
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0nu2d6zX7
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDofGOcQP2
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysz78seKxQ
“Hi baby.” said my parents.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfVkvV41az
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bcKsjp1d4
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLEq6fRBHd
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznbRSwSgwz
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0ODOYvF8E
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMvtpRXJvw
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pfNEppdmG
“I had to ask something.”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9oTpBOKsf
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerzCax1xg6
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq2zVFzkqu
“What?” Mother asked.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ315tFJ2v9F
I realised I mixed up things.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGbpCPe4dS
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5U5WHvKzt
“Sure you can go.” my father said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdYS7yAh5k
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHC4FR0u049
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSC7fPZHnH
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4kp3SE7qV
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrElqH7KAig
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAHodJ9R9C
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7aUXuhl5A
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ifV91izpz
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06TdhLXfWm
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Mw48PmRDq
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtux0uPStqk
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIFbNr900i
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifKDhFaT48
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNU7rDEXU4r
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1kjT0s0XU
Oh dear mother of mine!433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGGMOdUf7X
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAcml9VxLw
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQhQmfHyEL
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxI9yLEfQPz
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTo5qnmkLw
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxeq4NGEas
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2bjCrUzTW
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5TrIJ0qUU
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgLDuaxYh7
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eTUrefC3K
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyReHPquit
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68tUhD1TH4
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MBetfF7qx
Strange.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxqHjVkkQU
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXy6YIDtuvM
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0G7Bwygd4F
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhGi7rI5Vm
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgE3SA4c4eW
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXOlRNLjLh
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HAXxpPiRZ
“Who?” He asked.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjTUxM7A9c
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEe96aXKM4h
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vUNhR05AO
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJDrWkhgUq
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiu88WgRqB
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyxgjN8sof
“What?” he asked, concerned.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEPAYPGOVx
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzIkVzLJ5H
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q9I1inUV4
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWsgmduWJN
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ggkrIFrdG
“Yes. A younger brother.”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuP8QNGN1dS
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5h3uEvoqv
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiaDDOjzIQ
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb0yFSJune
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYWclhkY3J
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGRErzBcSd
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6p0acgWUp
“What are you doing?” he asked.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYHV7ebOOY
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGW6lCahH8
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8Mkz4Ju6s
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg92w4wmdTF
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DP70aCkii
Everyone was looking at us.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHkw5nTm59
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD49eKNAVvX
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaCn6HDhfp
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEPQzJEi4l
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdV2XFasZrL
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz5MgC2qXQ
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGHCMUjWt9
I went near him.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5R2CmElIsN
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtfHxdDFGE
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzExwFyilX
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxP4ASplQQ
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGJaZOBl7y
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsypKAQ9Ou
I asked his real name.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRB28fOnEZX
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6u3Eys1ip
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffLXnBAX1E
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4NC7uHBBw
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8MmdoVGtq
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49C7oAeyCm
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYg4FHDYSJd
“Why me?” I asked him.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxMV6oTcS2
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeimXnAA5Nd
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBgHK5W7Qn
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWceqTItvC
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiFNG7iTP4
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFlDAQYAUl
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nAHqP4yG9
Dear Diary,433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOqAcm3M4m
I hope you don’t but,433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3z4FhEUM6B
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
