Kyle, Sharon and Carol sat by the dining table. ‘What’s up with mum?’ Carol asked, stirring the chocolate powder in her cup of milk.
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It was nighttime and Karen had already gone to sleep. The three children were lit by the flashlight feature on their phones, unwilling to turn on the kitchen lights and risk awakening their mother. The room still reeked of lavender and honey, which would be nice if it wasn’t so potent. Karen had a habit of leaving the oil diffuser on for hours.
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‘It’s that dumb business she’s started,’ Kyle answered, slamming his fist against the table.
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Sharon nodded. ‘She tried to put oil in my ear last night. Claimed it could help me get to sleep. As if I could sleep if I’m worried about getting shit poured in my ear.’
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‘So… what do we do?’ Kyle asked. The other two shrugged, then Carol took a sip of her homemade chocolate milk. Sharon absentmindedly tapped the placemat in front of her. They collectively sighed.
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The next day, Karen came home from work with bags under her eyes. She collapsed on her bed but forced herself to take out her phone and check her WonderLiving page on Friendful.
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Kyle, Sharon and Carol burst through the doorway to her bedroom and Kyle stood in front of the door to block Karen from leaving. Carol and Sharon swooped to Karen’s side.
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‘What are you guys doing?’
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Sharon ‘Well… you see, we’re concerned about-’
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‘Your new business sucks,’ Carol interjected.
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Sharon slapped Carol’s shoulder. ‘Carol!’
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‘What? It’s true. Mum, you keep saying you can’t buy us stuff because you’re trying to get your business off the ground. Why do you even need it? What are you even selling?’
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Karen started her rehearsed spiel about the benefits of WonderLiving essential oils. Kyle’s eyelids quickly began to lower.
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‘Are you making any money from these oils?’ Sharon asked.
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Karen paused, then shook her head. ‘But I’m sure soon the money will start pouring in!’
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Carol groaned. ‘Why did you need the extra money? We were fine before you joined this Wonder… whatever.’
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‘Well, you know how expensive groceries are now, since I had to change where I shop.’
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‘Just apologise to the supermarket,’ Sharon suggested. ‘That was ages ago.’
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Karen crossed her arms and was silent for a moment, her face a blank slate. ‘I may or may not have had another… outburst… in front of the same manager.’
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‘Then apologise to that manager.’
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‘No way am I talking to that temptress Frema again!’
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Carol raised an eyebrow, noting the redness of Karen’s cheeks. ‘Temptress?’ The memory of Karen’s behaviour upon first meeting Frema lit up like a lightbulb in her mind. She held in her laughter and looked at her siblings to see if they had any clue what was going on.
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That question brought Karen to her feet. ‘Get out of my room,’ she said as she reached past Kyle to grab the doorknob. Kyle stood resolute, not budging an inch.
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‘It’s okay,’ Carol said to Kyle, who moved on command. Despite Karen telling her children to leave, she was the one who exited the room.
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Sharon sat down on the bed. ‘What was that all about?’
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Carol paused to think. Was she crazy? ‘Temptress… did this manager tempt mum? Into what, exactly?’ She looked to her siblings to see if they picked up on her cues.
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Sharon lifted her legs until she was sitting cross-legged on the bed. Her eyes grew three sizes and her jaw hit the floor.
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‘But Mum’s not a lesbian!’
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‘I never said she was.’
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‘Wait, Mum’s a lesbian?’ Kyle asked with the face of an F-grade student given the Mensa test.
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‘Either way, we need to talk to this manager,’ Carol said, her eyebrows low with determination.
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Sharon pointed out, ‘And get her to do what? Even if Mum goes back to the supermarket, she might still want to stay in that company.’
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Kyle looked at his hands like they were fading away. ‘Woah, woah, woah. But if Mum’s a lesbian, then how was I born?’ He patted down his body to check it was still there.
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Carol ignored him to continue discussing with Sharon. ‘Well, if my deduction’s right, then this manager might be the last person left who can talk some sense into her. She might listen. Or hell. She could be tempted to leave Wonder-whatever.’
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Sharon shook her head. ‘We don’t even know when this woman’s on her shift. How do we find her and convince her to help?’
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‘Listen to me!’ Kyle yelled. Carol and Sharon turned their heads. ‘Is Mum a lesbian?’
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The twins shrugged in perfect synchronisation. ‘Anyway,’ Carol said. ‘Time to make a plan.’
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Frema pushed the trolleys into each other, struggling to get all of them to fit. A single drop of sweat slid down her forehead. After wiping it away, she smiled at customers and began visiting each aisle to inspect the employees’ recovery work.
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A bland and repetitive but vaguely upbeat pop song played through the speakers. This should have been fine, as Frema was no music snob despite her personal tastes. That being said, hearing it for the fifth time in an hour would turn anyone into a hipster who funnel-chugs lowercase ambient albums.
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Sunlight burst through the windows and glass doors but the building was still a little chilly, thanks to the frequently opened but rarely closed fridge doors in the frozen produce section. As she made her way through the aisles, she made sure she closed every single one of those fridge doors.
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This was a rather average work day.
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The company phone buzzed in Frema’s pant pocket. She immediately took it out. ‘Welcome to Wilco’s. Frema speaking. How may I help you?’
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‘Oh, you’re there,’ Carol said. ‘How long will your shift last? We’ll be there as soon as possible.’
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Frema’s eyebrows met in confusion. ‘Could I have your name? I’m afraid I don’t recognise your voice.’
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‘Oh, you probably don’t remember us.’
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Kyle had to butt in the conversation. ‘We’re Karen’s kids.’
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‘I see… is there anything you need?’
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‘Nope!’ Sharon replied. ‘We’ll see you soon.’ She hung up.
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Frema stared at the phone in her hand, dumbfounded. She released a quick chuckle before pushing the phone back into her pocket and continuing her inspection.
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It wasn’t long before the three kids arrived. Carol asked a staff member where Frema was. Frema wound up recognising the three pretty quickly. They were the spitting image of Karen.
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‘Can I help you?’
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Kyle said, ‘Maybe.’ His face was still shocked as he tried to understand what his mother’s sexuality was.
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‘Yes!’ Carol yelped, stepping on Kyle’s foot. Kyle yelped even louder at the shoe on his foot. He glared at her but she ignored him. ‘We need you to get Mum to leave a company she keeps spending money on.’
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Frema raised a single eyebrow and wore an awkward grin. ‘I’m not sure I’d be much help with that. I doubt she’d-’
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‘But you have to try-’
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‘I did. I can’t deal with her anymore.’ She pulled a line of items forward on the shelf. ‘She doesn’t listen to reason.’
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‘But you’re a temptress!’ Sharon argued a little too loud. She lowered her head as shoppers turned theirs. ‘I mean, that’s what Mum said. Can’t you tempt her to leave the pyramid scheme she’s in? She won’t hear what we have to say.’
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That word shot into Frema’s brain like a pinball, bouncing around it faster and faster. Temptress. What a word. Frema’s heart couldn’t help but grow wings and gently fly up. She closed her eyes and thought.
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Following half a minute of deliberation, she spoke. ‘Fine. I’ll give it one more shot. Where’s your mum? My shift ends in a few minutes.’
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Once her shift was over, she drove the kids to Karen’s home. They walked up to the front door and Carol knocked on it.
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When Karen opened it, her face went through the entire spectrum of emotions. She eventually settled on fear and began to close the door. Frema held the edge of the door with the grip of a coconut crab. Karen may have been an unstoppable force, but Frema was an immovable object. The result turned out to be an explosion.
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‘Leave me alone!’ Karen screeched.
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‘Not until I have a good talk with you!’
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‘And what? Judge my life while you live the worst possible lifestyle?’
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‘Coming from the woman who called me a temptress!’
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Karen gulped. She sighed, looked at her feet and opened the door. A voice unfamiliar to Frema entered her ears from behind Karen.
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‘Oh, is someone late to the party? You’re not going to give the whole presentation again, are you? That’s a common rookie mistake.’
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Something about that voice and its platitudinously plastic tone ground against Frema’s ears. It was a sensation akin to hearing the familiar squeak of a roller shopping basket scraping against the floor. She looked up and saw a middle-aged woman, taller than even Frema herself, with a blonde bun whose tightness highlighted her extensive use of botox.
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Behind her, a gathering of similarly aged women stood in the living room like they were surrounding a water cooler at work, wine glasses in their hands. Most of them had a haircut eerily like Karen’s.
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The bun-wearing woman, herself holding a wine glass in one hand, shook Frema’s with her other. Her smile was positively Stepfordian.
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‘Nice to meet you. I’m Brenda. Did you want to try some of Karen’s products?’ Her wine flipped like a pancake in her glass as she swung her arm towards a full table of WonderLiving products. ‘There are still some left to buy.’ Despite keeping the same plastic smile, her voice smirked when she said that last part.
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Frema finally stepped through the door, inadvertently pushing it into Karen. ‘Frema. You must be Karen’s upline.’ The air between Frema and Brenda was like the surface of still water. Karen’s shoulders felt much the same way. She smiled big enough to show her teeth but not enough to be convincing. The only movement she could make was turning her head from Frema to Brenda and back again like she was watching a tennis match.
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Brenda blinked her wide but dead eyes. ‘I see you’re already familiar with network marketing. How wonderful! You seem like you’d be a good fit as a distributor like Karen.’
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‘Oh, no, I really couldn’t-’
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‘Anyone can! That’s the beauty of working at WonderLiving.’
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Frema laughed but its lack of ugliness caused Karen’s body to clam up even more. ‘Well, you know the saying. Just because they can doesn’t mean they should.’
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‘Where do you work? I’m sure you could use some extra cash.’
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‘I’m a supermarket manager.’
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The smirk transferred from Brenda’s voice to her face, finally showing itself. ‘Well, you definitely sound like you should work at WonderLiving,’ she said as she took another sip of her wine. Her words cut deep, surprising Frema. She should have been used to this kind of thinking by now, and yet-
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‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
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The two battlers turned their heads towards Karen, who looked akin to a deer angry at the headlights.
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Brenda swallowed the wine in her mouth. ‘Well, who would want to work at that kind of place when you could be your own boss and earn a lot more? A supermarket manager…’ Brenda shivered before stepping towards a finger food table. She wiggled her fingers but decided not to eat anything Karen had prepared. ‘Though I guess you can tell a lot by the company you keep.’
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Karen’s shoulders rose, she spluttered drops of wine left inside her mouth and she began lending a magpie’s eye to the nest that was her table of essential oils.
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‘A supermarket manager is a perfectly fine job!’
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‘Do you really believe that?’ Brenda asked.
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‘Of course, I do! Frema works hard and is making a life for herself, unlike SOME people! You don’t know her, so stop talking shit!’
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The crowd of bob-haired women gasped. Even Brenda was taken aback. ‘How dare you talk to me like that. Let’s not forget who helped you gather people for this Pharaoh’s Court. You couldn’t do it without me.’
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Karen looked down in shame. Then she felt Frema’s comforting hand on her shoulder and looked back up with fire in her eyes.
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‘Yeah, you’re right, and I think it’s time for them all to leave! Go! Shoo! Shoo!’ She stormed into the middle of the gathering and shooed them away just as she said. She looked at the essential oil table and raised her arm to push them all to the ground. She saw Frema’s embarrassed stare and brought her arm back to her side.
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After closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths, Karen said, ‘I’d rather not share my home with someone who doesn’t appreciate hard workers like Frema.’
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Brenda glared at Frema before grabbing her purse and shutting the front door behind her. Frema opened her mouth but Karen held up her pointer finger with her eyes closed again and her lips pursed.
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She said nothing but led Frema to the study. There was no way in hell she was going to take her to her bedroom.
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Naturally, once the kids finally walked into the house, they kept their distance from the study but listened in. Karen, to their luck, didn’t notice. ‘What do you want? Did you enjoy ruining my party?’ she asked Frema as she plopped down onto the swivel chair.
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‘I want you to be honest with me.’ Karen swirled in her chair until she was facing away from Frema. ‘I’d also like you to be more mature, but we can’t have everything, can we?’ A groan jumped out from Karen’s lips. ‘Why did you join a pyramid scheme?’
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Karen whipped back around to face Frema. ‘It’s not a pyramid scheme! It’s network marketing. Pyramid schemes are illegal!’
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Frema considered arguing over this point but decided to move on. ‘Okay, then why did you join a network marketing company? And don’t give me a sales pitch.’
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Karen started to turn back but Frema grabbed the top of the chair and pulled it towards her. She leaned down until their faces were inches apart. Karen couldn’t form words when confronted with Frema’s horrifying beauty. All she could do was stare silently at Frema’s lips.
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Frema’s whispers tickled Karen’s own lips. ‘What changed in your life to make you decide that?’
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Before Karen could think, she kissed Frema. The other woman’s lips were soft and the kiss was delicate, as if they both feared the other would disappear if they went too hard.
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Frema broke the kiss almost immediately. ‘Nope. Less kissing, more talking.’
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‘I knew it!’ Carol exclaimed. Karen’s eyes popped out of her sockets. Frema slid open the door fast enough to make a thud against the frame.
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‘Shoo! Get outta here, you weirdos!’ The three kids obliged. With a sigh, Frema shut the door again and rubbed the side of her face. ‘Your kids are… something else.’
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Karen nodded, her head hung in the greatest shame she had ever felt. ‘They know… they can’t! I’m not even…’
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Frema kneeled down and placed a soft hand on Karen’s. ‘It’s okay. You don’t have to come out as anything if you’re not ready.’
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Karen shook her head. ‘I was supposed to forget. I was supposed to do something, anything, to forget about you.’
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‘What makes you think you could forget this ugly mug?’ Frema’s gorgeously awful laugh returned.
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Karen gradually joined in despite disagreeing, then gradually stopped. ‘I haven’t known you very long. I barely-’
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‘And that’s completely fine,’ Frema replied, slowly sliding her hand up the other woman’s arm. ‘We can get to know each other over dinner, maybe. Just, please leave that company. I beg you. Your kids are so worried and I hate what it turned you into.’
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Karen pushed Frema’s hand away. ‘Turned me into? You already had every reason to hate me. I’m a mess who can’t handle any change. All I can do is knock things over and leave.’
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‘Can’t argue with that. But you know what I discovered when you complimented my jacket?’ Frema brushed some of Karen’s hair behind her ear. ‘Even the worst customers can change, and maybe that means I’ve been able to change myself. Trust me, you’re not the first bad customer I’ve run into. When they left, I always saw them as complete scum who could never be redeemed. But you listened to me when I was complaining about my life. No one’s really done that for me before. Hell, look what you did just now at your party!’
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Tears rolled down Karen’s cheeks and Frema wiped them away. Karen asked, ‘But what about all the stock I bought? No one wants it.’
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‘I’m sure we can figure something out. But buying more stock won’t solve the problem.’
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Karen nodded and wrapped her arms around Frema’s neck, pulling her closer. She continued sobbing as she whispered thank yous and sorries into her shoulder.
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She could not sell the stock, but she concluded that the essential oils smelled nice enough to use in moderation. She diffused a bottle of oil every couple of days, enough to lessen the stock without polluting the air her children breathed.
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Every weekend or so, she and Frema would go on a date. They spent a chunk of their time together whining about their lives, but they both listened to each other intently. By the end of the date, they had moved on to chatting about anything that brought them joy, from a new tv show to a series of photos Frema was proud of taking. It was as if they had forgotten what they had whinged about at the start.
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After seeing sparkles in Karen’s eyes when she talked about the things Carol and Sharon had built, Frema suggested that she try woodworking again. At first, Karen shook her head and laughed awkwardly.
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‘I couldn’t.’
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‘But do you want to?’
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Karen couldn’t help but nod.
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A few days later, she invited Frema over without telling her what she wanted to do. As soon as she came in, Frema was greeted by the smell of wood chips. Karen handed her a hammer and led her to the backyard, where the whole family was building a dollhouse.
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‘If I sell these, I can make back the money I spent at that....’ Karen’s words trailed off and a blush appeared on her face.’
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‘That pyramid scheme?’ Carol asked with a chuckle.
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The blush got redder. ‘Yes, that pyramid scheme. Now quiet down and do your job!’
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The three kids snickered. Frema chuckled and gave Karen a comforting kiss before joining her in hammering nails into the dollhouse. It took a couple of hours, but they eventually created a little home for themselves
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