Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMTHiLscXX
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To lift his spirits.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nhAdsXfKt
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrP8Yv3cpH
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Claude.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYjZ5drIu8
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvl0aef6In
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvLop20qy8
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Demeter wasn't working.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHYio9UcQW
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZU9htuayr3
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAvKnfTcHM
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrX5TJb1h9
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKXrMrs5tj
...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqPTXMFzaT
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"Bison."439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1t7s0f7FKu
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Bread is like the sun.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IIWC7sG2K
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaYZ6H2Qy6
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZj9lCgk9f
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SVzktGhNI
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...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFSxbKz4ag
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Its butt.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3Ne1B1Kfr
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tg1T62RsJ
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5T8LS3gV1
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...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJw3xk6Qek
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First, a tractor.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynMwPPYvoI
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SkqxkQRRk
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Gravy.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPpaOzI4Bv
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnStCgChaN
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Now he's a rockstar.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhxY1MbrKA
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wJ2FdiZjW
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Do trees poop?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SmqXxiKt3
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7SJzY1no0
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAVsCDfsWB
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRz0OHOEt2
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WIXALhqU9
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...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNVTVvQPLV
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She couldn't control her pupils.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkOH2ueeIT
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What do peppers do when they're angry?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsq0P1hQ8tw
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBe2aSZXGGV
...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJPfpaca2e
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They get jalapeño face.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkh49CjvmH
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Today someone told me I am average.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1ZcfhglL7
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...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0qgT38QT5
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I told them that's just mean.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfAFIFRyM8
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHePZh82gX
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...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkVrD3tkRe
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Pointless.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjLbk8RqfP
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJl3lTeid7Q
---439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7Nsw4gDzJ
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW662R78TH9
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HaVfNFCWZ
...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrK9exVrJP
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmdFdUh2k7
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZq3bXogDi
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagzIsxFzvg
...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseHcBGLkPO
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I tried yesterday but I mist.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfphSprwDs
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSWoQaTmwW
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBeZTesa1m
...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9TacZU9Xi
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfAKk4Niud
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczBFn9n0u5
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95MlUNd7vy
...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35SmRiO4Lx
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlXIuXJsrU
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What has four wheels and flies?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdL3kb7DtyZ
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...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp3Bp4b7Z5
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A garbage truck.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡml2MzABXOQ
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHea9G8YnpF
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...so I pushed her over.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsxBZa9DM3
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhOGMaKyta
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1Bk8gyr4Q
...439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4H1A0kHf5
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ36oMatbVd
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns18.221.54.244da2
