Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55EvC5IuMC
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To lift his spirits.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1YZoZB3F3
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1c3bVFezxx
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Claude.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakPwL0SEQK
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1DuPXS3rM
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Demeter wasn't working.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuQbbxTcK4
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9BbWdzc2Q
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iJVart4az
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3Kk0JzGTH
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"Bison."507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QAiTFknK1
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Bread is like the sun.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCMc3iqsqx
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoxBZhR9CU
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUKgyRRXoW
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MvzXS7vse
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Its butt.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUMsXeXvpY
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhxnyuJoHC
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BpbhBa8tS
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First, a tractor.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjBV7Gp18J
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77Oku7Axex
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Gravy.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvI25sZdWoh
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQ9m30WpCM
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Now he's a rockstar.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL5aERtPHR
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstpXBYAd3w
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Do trees poop?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7HrLzi9ZJ
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5A7LDDBRc
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSRNQWn2rx
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNsyRyhOPs
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GhJxVNPEg
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She couldn't control her pupils.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8bGgdq3On
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What do peppers do when they're angry?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGtCwbTmj8
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They get jalapeño face.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJBUeR7CQm
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Today someone told me I am average.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2izQe5wwmq
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I told them that's just mean.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKoF6lh6pw
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2Jli7C6vG
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Pointless.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DzLEe35oo
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLjqjFkOqv
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeVXbMUXKm
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtRPwQ2CVj
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3D3bgFtbct
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I tried yesterday but I mist.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjuV7TCjzv
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90DliEGYRX
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpZggSs0Q3
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWH6hAHo3m
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiXZgYbYMx
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What has four wheels and flies?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtc9kEpN3l5
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A garbage truck.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoi6DK0VKCT
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpL05A54gz
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...so I pushed her over.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVG773JAmu
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFKMUY3MK6
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyewmUEPtI
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.21da2
