Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wgHx27vJf
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To lift his spirits.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIcFbkr6dV
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPILQExHeIC
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Claude.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlH1o9fcsq
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7ZoIUcBg2
435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uwbcjwW1h
...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVW7oQmLOr
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Demeter wasn't working.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIty9i8pfKu
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hxIOIARjW
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4WH8UddGr
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGED1nfh1zx
435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzBqiTFm0W
...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApvd7f8yhB
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"Bison."435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfXzgFJcTx
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Bread is like the sun.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o2k7gjZAg
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUWTjNp0mv
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8Dv12DAIy
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFIi8ttFzx
435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbcNES9FoN
...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvjDDZsqJK
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Its butt.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht8FSexHnZ
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoG70XxlYd
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBuvtYFEJa
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...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRiy2LSoG7
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First, a tractor.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9EoSRidsT
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLPKAyTY0M
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Gravy.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8Cufc3Pdo
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglxyTuZJ2y
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Now he's a rockstar.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhEGcIUp5y
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L9krWlafm
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Do trees poop?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZee3XR7GVm
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3k5EbjbD7
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFw0RDT5pZ
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...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqDonvehCc
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aKurXsNec
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIODzOkG8G1
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She couldn't control her pupils.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUMXtJ96D5
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What do peppers do when they're angry?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ydAek6npE
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...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7ImPBTNAF
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They get jalapeño face.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQQ4N50TBJ
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Today someone told me I am average.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XnaFeEqT3
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...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzJksZeFaf
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I told them that's just mean.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtZQtwrUSo
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbHXwedkea
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...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG78PpEoHGG
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Pointless.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSOIbNpmVP
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKT00e3WK4
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCQ4VHJu3T
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...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKTgGzQQFG
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZY5OUJ7jt
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbNmAiXop4
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...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6E5dV7zIJ
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I tried yesterday but I mist.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbv0ghYpg1b
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUe77XjIdX
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRm3jYrFZG
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBC8eZhd8l5
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...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbqVOoNGYs
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpVlLHH1eY
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What has four wheels and flies?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmssA2IfVr
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...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv3WvwwhWg
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A garbage truck.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh00anOhMkg
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqCzwCoVxV
435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzP8vquCw0
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...so I pushed her over.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0stiroBK4i
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yUFjAW08c
435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6ZFKgzqvX
...435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKypdnSSIPB
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.435Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgO0KH0cZ77
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns3.17.129.242da2
