Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdblH0lqoMK
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybEAxceIuT
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To lift his spirits.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvXWCVRroF
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa7uO7y38q
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkabKBGbksP
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Claude.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa12JxerBu3
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVwI1T2sQg
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lgvUhTXgs
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzuKLxE6v5
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Demeter wasn't working.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjYyxltMq7
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xnGzOA7gi
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOt9tezdEP
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHbkHquynZ
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uzOqk6dpz
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJn0Zlk0DzY
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"Bison."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0ili7l2Fr
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Bread is like the sun.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ROou1OCYT
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsQcesZyyk
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7GxjjbYXb
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWPtpKSq0w
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDv7FA7XXX
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAnKuKvmNe
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqNmXWkqqU
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Its butt.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5j7m0ueNs
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6J2WD1Qer
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjOO8lb3yn
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCao9h50xBB
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHFPgTB2ix
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First, a tractor.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdye3RwffBR
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7GfdHirPu
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Gravy.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju0S54srhD
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBUlDMzp0Y
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDm2jWkiR5
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Now he's a rockstar.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTl7UAHnAqN
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsMI4Na16G
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Do trees poop?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KKBIgZX8h
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqaHDV2rAy
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoG68oWiY4
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YnfNPJWQz
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQwWAN3dG6
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qXE050Q2a
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dDOIzS9JZ
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She couldn't control her pupils.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6p4cJ5SszL
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What do peppers do when they're angry?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOgXscEFTy
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMprpoO7QcM
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They get jalapeño face.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy16MmCUuo
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Today someone told me I am average.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIFvoYiKBL
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1Y8AI09l3
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I told them that's just mean.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1v8kvND1F
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dZDTkRbl7
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPon3jPUaP
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Pointless.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphIZjDpg5U
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy299eyJm2i
---569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLZN9XsRyT
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1pkgktlPv
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYxA4zuaET
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4ya2OaZ4v
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84uIBXauKo
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRVsRADJ03
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIKI22gTXu
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I tried yesterday but I mist.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP6aBgP18P
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHJvxn4yEo
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI9MjrfqIc
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY42HYGuHV
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp56qlp7UE6
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWNZYS0mP2
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1AX3AVQFt
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW2Ku05qh4
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What has four wheels and flies?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBkd24NYrC
569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAg3vC8bIwJ
...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkveLpvktSJ
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A garbage truck.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJKhDleZxg
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEgX4F5jFR
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...so I pushed her over.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTpbopjrjn
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjQYjEo1C8
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...569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjycJt81nvw
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQ7Orh7w5o
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569Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcX6VsR8QK
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.25da2
