Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeMZ3R3Lsp
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To lift his spirits.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyADwU94pj
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzgZ1WvEI2
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Claude.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7BQ3piskU
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfkzTsVdyz
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Demeter wasn't working.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CCjRGr6YF
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvfT8T8Ckw
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ENunsF3ZH
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC94vlGHluf
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"Bison."508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA0lRW6QJB
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Bread is like the sun.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMigTsEg4IQ
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbuLnOHxkV
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsJ2GmNqfM
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNmTsubbSn
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Its butt.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsyHJmnrYa
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgOp54KRuC
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihJvVhTvvj
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First, a tractor.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYC3syh3mn
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUNNpDmjWF
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Gravy.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVxjvuTCJB
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0l72Fg0fH6
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Now he's a rockstar.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyAdp59BZC
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0AtJYOchv
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Do trees poop?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhivGd3lKJ7
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVifAGvs49s
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBTZWSHASe
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPYUchyCqE
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxfJtku32y
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She couldn't control her pupils.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbgdMGeHKi
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What do peppers do when they're angry?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRuGuL68nB
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They get jalapeño face.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMYiaYe49S
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Today someone told me I am average.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMlLWd780z
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I told them that's just mean.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqjrvomJsM
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7IlQfjCJp
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Pointless.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHFg7hqNH0
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3084qHVqsd
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaSdngw4cs
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzC6Orbggq
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEZCaZ6TG5
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I tried yesterday but I mist.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzRqo2lcGP
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYTBtVrE32
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hKFnNtVLK
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCgQwvI7lw
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtC5UycT5G
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What has four wheels and flies?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUfg1o4uDq
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A garbage truck.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkW4SaDuSs
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSgNzr0pLK
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...so I pushed her over.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCR3ePNcoj
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDBGhoSCRd
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUm11kio4lj
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
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