“Alfred,” Batman said, “I need to think about what’s been going on recently. I’m going to Cinnabon.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcv081s2vc
“Yes sir, very good.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sPJDR1vsN
Batman gets in the Batmobile and activates Ludicrous speed, and ends up at Cinnabon in Omaha Nebraska. He walks up to the counter to order his cinnabon food.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcvI2yNTJ9
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Says a bored gray wolf from behind the counter.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrPFLorsB5
“I would like a cinnamon roll, please.” Batman says.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBoPVokWaJ
“Sorry, we don’t sell cinnamon rolls anymore.” Legoshi says.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnRFNBhpk1
“What the hell do you mean!” Batman yells, “This is a Cinnabon!”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCrDSUxnuy
“Sir, please calm down.”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyL3oDU3vv
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsbGZGsQ8D
“Calm down? Do you know who I am?!? I’m the goddamn Batman! I want to speak to your manager.”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFH56POuo3
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmW5IbhgMd
Legoshi sighs.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujFRmvgZBp
“Gene,” he calls, “there’s an unhappy customer who wants to see you.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3yiXOhDHj
“Hi, I’m Gene Takovic,” Gene says, walking through the door, “did you know you don’t have rights? Well, the Cinnabon terms of service says you don’t.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWuUmFSxIZ
“I want a Cinnabon! And I want it now!” Yells Batman
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFXoGnHdNm
“Why don’t we go speak over there, Mr. Man,” Gene says and points to a restaurant on the other side of the mall called Cooper’s Bar.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPFIWTKGke
Batman and Gene walk over to Cooper’s Bar and sit down.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpMJgDK456
“Now you see,” Gene says, “Cooper’s Bar has almost put us out of business. We don’t have any money to make cinnamon rolls anymore.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGbZ3b68XI
Suddenly an angry blonde woman walks in.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rVWmWICa5
“Oh no…” Gene says.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHHBKgMuSo
“What, who is she?” Batman says, “is she a villain?
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY30jipLRwl
“Worse." Gene says, “My ex-wife Kim Sexler, biggest dick in Hollywood.”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03Gt9SS48T
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQd2anyFwW
“WHERE IS AMY SCHUMER YOU BASTARD???” Kim screams and then drop kicks a three year old child.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt0W5rXxUp
Batman stands up.464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fTVzVgGte
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWt9UhzYada
“I will not stand for this abuse and violence against children!” He yells, “You’re going straight to Arkham Asylum.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAFM3bHAZu
Kim looks deep into Batman’s soul and for five minutes she stares at him in complete silence, unblinking.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaTGn7gdFd
“Ok.” she finally says.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzBFfoBFbB
Batman is so intimidated he runs away and gets in a taxi cab because he forgot the keys to the batmobile.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs7bwWO9Nu
“Take me to the nearest Cinnabon.” Batman says, still hungry for a cinnamon roll.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIv09Yw1zUH
The driver starts driving, and Batman sits back and relaxes. He starts looking out the window, when something catches his attention from the corner of his eye. He has a sticker in the front with Gotham, New Jersey written on it, and realizes he recognizes the driver as a passerby after his parents’ murder.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuzPPGBxIJ
Batman starts sweating. Is it possible he could see through his disguise? No, surely not! He must trust in his disguise.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQkQQGdqcL
Suddenly the taxi driver turned around, and Batman quickly jumped out the window of the moving car to defuse the situation.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu80TpvzbVm
He walked up to a man standing around with a baseball bat.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6WQMujaBu
“Sir,” Batman says, “do you know where a billionaire CEO vigilante who dresses up like a bat could go to get a cinnamon roll around here?”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8IRnelOVw
“Yes, I know of a place exactly like you speak of,” the man says and points to a huge tall building in the sky, “It’s called the Citadel, but no one can get to it.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmdBlKZFYA
“And why is that?”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuKnF9NrY6
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0jkUtWfmq
“Because Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, is keeping it from us, and even I, Rick Grimes, have no hope of defeating her.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO75Q4ifUpP
Rick looked at his baseball bat.
“This was the baseball bat of my best friend, Mae Borowski. She died trying to get that cinnamon roll…”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44hF8rCBPd
“I know how it feels to lose someone close to you.” Batman says, remembering how he lost his teddy bear Cletus in the movie theater before his parents were murdered.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKhdLabmYd
Batman put his hand on Rick’s shoulder.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKldIzJ9mJG
“I will help you find the cinnamon roll, and then we will eat it. Together.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgtKBsIuCq
Batman and Rick began their journey to the famed cinnamon roll, killing the zombies of people who have been deprived of cinnamon rolls too long.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUxjJ7FAEg
Suddenly a man who neither Batman nor Rick had ever seen before ran up to them.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdozXYpe8T
“Hey, Batman!” He yelled excitedly, “remember me?”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplDjdVn8Ib
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnQMad1Dq1
“What, no,” Batman says, “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
“From the taxi cab earlier, remember?” he said, disappointed.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrjjR1Eme7
“No, the guy from the taxi cab looked way different and scarier. You look like you probably use 4chan.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36jsSJmVZW
He crossed his arms.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOlS70c8sY
“My name Jeff,” Jeff says, “and you will take me with you.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQJ7wqholo
“Fine whatever but you’re stupid.” Batman says, and Batman, Jeff, and Rick finally reach the Citadel and spend 10 hours going up elevators when the elevator stops. The door opens into a small chamber and they walk in, and Rick’s bat and Batman’s batarangs and Jeff’s taxi keys are pulled away from them.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1M9rIOpzy
Lightning shot out of the walls and struck their weapons, and they began to glow blue. They picked up their weapons and the door opened up to reveal an army of Amy Schumer clones, all screaming terrible jokes about men as loud as they could.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxLpTe1uSN
Rick Grimes looked at his bat, and remembered the last time he came here. He remembered seeing Mae ripped apart by Amy Schumer right in front of his eyes. He slowly looked up and Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar began playing over speakers on loop.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5jLKqLZTT
“This time…it’s personal.” He says.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZh44gmPj7
They rush into combat, all fighting valiantly. Jeff slices through Amy clones effortlessly with his key, Batman’s batarang becomes an Amy Schumer seeking weapon of destruction, and Rick obliterates each clone who attacks him with a single blow from his bat. They quickly begin making their way through the massive crowd.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbvCvZS5fx
“Don’t Look Up is the name of the movie? More like don’t look down the barrel of Alec Baldwin’s shotgun!” Screams one of the Schumers and punches Batman in the face, knocking him down to the ground. Jeff tries to stab her but she yells “My husband goes down on me, or as he calls it Squid Game, so he’s in my Nightmare Alley, my House of Gucci, I say C’mon C’mon, he goes tick tick BOOM, he Belfast. I say get off my Dune and that’s how our son was born.” and Jeff is so shocked at how horrible what he just heard is that he drops his key and starts crying.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftPpmRSbJ5
“Impossible, it can’t be!” Rick yells, “It’s the real Amy Schumer!”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcLiKj8Xi5
“Then the only way we can beat her,” Jeff says, “is by telling a joke so great she can’t possibly go on!”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlYEOnHoil
“Knock knock!” Yells Batman.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY6n7QRCe2
“Who’s there?” Says Amy Schumer.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhorJFD6oya
“Doctor.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQIZ1Bxvq2
Amy grins psychotically, like a murderer stalking their victim.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXFu9wFgqR
“Oh, that’s alright!” She yells, “We don’t need a doctor, the ambulance already showed up!”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojeci6Q3Zi
Batman and Jeff scream in agony at how quickly and terribly she defused his joke.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPOpVNfNbs
Rick had other plans. Suddenly they felt the temperature drop from 90 degrees to 76 degrees, and Amy Schumer’s smile faded.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMyCksMQ66
“No! Not 76 degrees, anything but that!” Amy yelled, “The optimal temperature for comedic timing!”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKWKzEcuu8
Rick stands 50-80 centimeters from her and raises one of his arms straight upward at a fifteen degree angle from his body, setting up all the conditions perfectly for ideal humor.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1cA0hiN7r
Amy screeches louder than any human ever has before while Rick states and spells his name, provides a brief synopsis of the joke including the specific times she’ll laugh, and spells out his name a second time.
“Knock knock.” Rick says.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcup7LYbVnu
“Wh-who’s there?”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqP79uVLg6H
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcj3bYCL7x
“Banana.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqiDnwfOrl
“Banano who?”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSgYuA50A9
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5jbXw9ZRy
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u8fINoB5F
“Banana.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNObQrEYvv
“Banano who?”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9EprJcJUH
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpa4dRBBXpX
“Banana.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvdvzrlpsI
“Banano who?”
“Orange.”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8mkBYnVLy
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApN4i7yMnx
“Orange who?”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpCpH6R4BL
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0s5TcFOCXr
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafyEVWC7Du
Amy’s heart stops, and she falls to the ground dead as Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar finally stops.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvyo2DAXdr
“I’m doney,” Rick says, “with the funny.”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaV6slKAwL
They all look at each other, and nod their heads in agreement, and wade through the corpses of Amy Schumer to the huge metal door.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLqkKFVQ1I
Suddenly it opens into a huge room with Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, standing in the middle, and at the end the final cinnamon roll.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1prjuAikwo
“So, you three killed Amy Schumer?”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ga9JEqb4f
“Y-yes.” Batman says, already feeling intimidated again.
“...Ok.” Kim says.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleFnXyx6YG
All three of them almost start crying out of fear, but keep themselves composed.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCVowZpyOA
They each begin attacking from different angles, but she expertly dodges each hit.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUxZ79FGX3
Finally, Rick’s bat connects with her torso but the bat explodes, throwing Rick back.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JJwQBUV1B
“H-how?” He asks.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVwTdEAp9D
“Nanomachines, son.” Kim says with a smirk and then breaks his back, killing him.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLXeumtBN2
“NO!” Jeff yells and rushes at her.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSeBH8SVGf
Without even a thought Kim hits him over the head with a cup that says “World’s 2nd Best TV Executive” and Jeff slips and hits his head and dies.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKSP1hm67S
Recognizing he has no chance of ever winning, Batman quickly shuffles back away from her in terror, when he remembers what his Uncle Ben told him all those years ago.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRgQON1luJ
“Memes, Bruce.” Ben said, “Memes are the DNA of the soul. With great power comes great responsibility. When life gives you lemons, burn life’s house down! Do you know who ate all the donuts?”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArgirOg6ZK
Inspired by his Uncle’s wise words, he was able to catch Kim Sexler’s attack.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUYad4n2kM
They exchanged punches so quickly that it was impossible for the naked eye to detect, each tanking every single blow. Batman knew what he must do to defeat Kim and finally get that cinnamon roll, he must break his one and only rule. Batman takes out a Desert Eagle and shoots Kim through the face.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5j2Vyedh8
“I, I….” Kim says, struggling to stay alive, “this is…chicanery.” And then she drops dead.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lyStoSGyA
Finally, nothing stood between Batman and his cinnamon roll. All this work, all this violence, all this bloodshed, this is what it was for. He slowly walked towards it, chills going down his spine just thinking about it.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngDNlwOWmY
"I'm sorry we couldn't eat it together like I wanted, Rick," Batman says, "but I will eat it for the both of us."
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNjBr5mxhU
Suddenly Legoshi picked up the cinnamon roll and ate it.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGsamDElez
“WHAT?” Screamed Batman.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITmo1ZzfiS
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Legoshi says.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnoCAl5lfS
“P-please,” Batman says, “I just want a cinnamon roll.”464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnyOJsjYNU
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vEAcktyF0
“Sir, I already told you we’re out of cinnamon rolls. Do I need to call my manager again?”
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7Yg6cZttk
Batman slowly fell to his knees and then onto his side, and began crying on the floor.
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUTwRtBfgi
THE END.
ns216.73.216.65da2
