「去哪？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdxVHQGIT2
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「急事。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLcZDInar4
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「你不吃晚餐？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhH3mEBIHE
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我沒應答，逕自出門。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfOStavktv
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冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH20um0o5ew
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難以言喻的鬱悶。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPrrFslR77
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長嘆。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxM6ueTTB3
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「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6KapcVVnX
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgecRsjcOoX
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjz3ihigqc1
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbk10Wcjry
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDc03ZfPDwh
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0PSA2qUf6
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfu8mH9b2a
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYykspGdz1S
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjjh9yuyXt
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71hOzUCn0R
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sdMHyXS9U
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXw9gLV3NU
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQyrNHoWxV
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxmbImimJB
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtVWyVptyh
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7K16tJb6R
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4LqBqZuEI
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpIpJZjjAx
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaw9RkR7oTh
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoKmSzZeAe
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf03kD333vW
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzW1iyIFVh
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCAwZ3awNu
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKatPcd9gl
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjQyBuQVf3
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyeFm3mytG
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRf8dt0tJOA
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWirAcp2qZc
註定的。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWv5kWWGYa
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwfGVIomfm
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSljp2VMdNB
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurUV0g5GhS
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofaapiAqHd
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEl5Sls6gE
停步。猶疑。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LiMrYtCEP
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbs1yuTRbE
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZyHhkQH0Z
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7bRPaSXQc
轉身。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyl5Zp50iI2
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUvWE1um58
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ot9G6yzop
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeGqa7Kuwp
我回身走去。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVk7gePaFMc
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKP6KoZJ4LY
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyGzs089YV
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpCnpl2obc
把小狗抱入懷內。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUdlq42xnx
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOMsemNNGo
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbq87VQxLgI
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2n4Z2xA16W
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6eJByu03U
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIIR37MqO3
海風？海濱公園步道？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnw8db4e9t
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUD11bmEJa
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZ1Rm3BJ4u
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZbtP9AdIi
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjmLzeo79D
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFn7vImJzJ
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwWxa4jCWN
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZUY2ypKgi
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV78qdT9YYa
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpMlz2I0m8
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet3LOD5FH8
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ej3155xyL
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdITFztBNLi
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3q1LwUr6rO
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV6mlPH7tk
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0OlG1dNP5
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOyvZ4EWEU
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aC5TzYSm7
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQJcn9LHOT
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUCmWN1sHT
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxC7ZQExE6M
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumSGXr0vFw
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYIOhoLV6Q
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEEd9O3lX9
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyKCbQxLmD
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjwLiiZNFQ
鬱悶何來？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrfyDIfX0T
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEDuzoTx93
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvolCDUO6Z
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4u0bxnaEk
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5TM3rNBpV
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDyJSMBzfG
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfvIkeaoGx
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVl5EqwZTZJ
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrcu0nR24O
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyb7ImaLkV
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhRXa4IIuA
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SRF9XXkoe
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6XDXzCnEM
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LDPrdvaOB
然後呢？根本沒有然後。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkAMhv1SOY
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVjkFzWs2p
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZ42FtprqI
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSl1wFd8Y0r
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkZoRl6OGD
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
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