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「去哪？」305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyimyKT8TG
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9bgJCt5kO
「急事。」305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEsGICWVA4
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQ3XnM3FgR
「你不吃晚餐？」305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9HPZbqJde
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzXt9A7xYT
我沒應答，逕自出門。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GBJR1R4Wl
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycCCEEUabz
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSGpI53O3a
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTA1ZctT8f
難以言喻的鬱悶。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9Gf69xZwa
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpD9MoHqPx
長嘆。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmithDVnIj
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeFTNJSVTs
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgvdRFiCOK
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBiMBEBBT8
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwenhNY4le
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3eHawme5Q
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfUWBFb8n2
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIb47iifiBl
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6xFvrZvGg
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffN68LOyRh
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt305ppYnhQ
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OJqr2k452
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqH2uzTXAV
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B1EMdQen4
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2cAKX1GP8
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFQnuMcjOf
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4deJOyU7jD
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSczM0xd2We
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVixPbNmmm
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADB2j86osv
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWdby5JfvM
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIql2DAIjGH
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTP5EAX4uNe
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0eGn1W1PN
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlyDcIPl2M
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIwnpAS65m
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJlTy20DV2
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMZgHlD5Fn
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRrbBlNLNZ
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaJP65AKZm
註定的。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyl2M8EExq
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvepIqmNgRp
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bSF88JYtK
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiw2kUdMqb
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBREcN9xnf
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyYRenDfTs
停步。猶疑。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmiV7AdTyA
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3dbl7cYDL
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMRnXebrDW
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInFlV3mkAw
轉身。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlE3MbFXpS
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YcjbAaxrD
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PtJEjzi6M
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqNSIkpmFE
我回身走去。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLCuxIHdON
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcLbQs3D6z
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDivNYn3Ed3
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXG8FgerhG
把小狗抱入懷內。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡou1GrDO1yf
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBPzabbQEZ
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS038RWa2ma
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FJXOXHRUA
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ajG5R2Fez
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLFc0w6FPu
海風？海濱公園步道？305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ts1G28VRk
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrIlKKlOhb
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSyJLH7mKF
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHWRHLMiD3
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HWtt0Vo60
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmigXhB0Brt
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwbj6CwFvs
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEgbE9ZAXW
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQmqlf0B9c
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlFl1fHY2z
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSLdLqjZnt
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqYNIk8ZXK
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KpuR0bNpn
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR34VY18oWY
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDCv8ZAQH0
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKHExC09Hx
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3ko6GkijQ
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXSdEXwNMz
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucqPFPOvzw
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCYDEliEZf
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmJctngMpZ
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImt7BpSaYE
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2FndpYZob
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WixIAw5EU
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOswMoEb5f8
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvw9hkG4WD
鬱悶何來？305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjnGJ1cjye
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBXCCUzsTO
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYWg3XDpop
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7Bb3qq9zA
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7l5z8JBYI
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡma6ksq6ztT
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVA5zh9IgJ1
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7y6QljXfo
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5OSx03sTj
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCm9X9HxnWU
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj2nWkULos
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgZZmKa58g
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvz2SqHo9PU
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknxEBQ0FoP
然後呢？根本沒有然後。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZ3MyBaiaC
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNndAWV6T3z
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxi6epR8KZ
305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RExit3YGH
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。305Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaOSmCHye6
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns18.227.140.153da2
