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「去哪？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZx2dWw0xve
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uZWlofY5Q
「急事。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i2ON4JeFI
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmguvmTblWU
「你不吃晚餐？」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SZmwPwg4G
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAF3OCNuVh9
我沒應答，逕自出門。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFhKTtPYxF
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKa2WHRwuh
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLElrY1WGCt
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOTCIMg2PW
難以言喻的鬱悶。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Jtl7Rn4St
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVDKxrF2bn
長嘆。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqV6OOKvGp
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25yKL2qev8
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrksAxl6BEr
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgv15cmjcqE
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcW8pO0bCP
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXWR2kzD2q
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQi6S9KFSV
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLUrqot1Xn
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSL40TFYDw
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyh5FGPbjF
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdKXbgfbU1
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr7NPmDO8W
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcRObSaLYW
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT2JfCXWUE
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sybV6CDwG
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4xOW4fFdf
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9pwcO8wgR
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ761ix5UfTI
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0n5zXnOcH
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlQJeZO8tQ
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtKRkB7OOx
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXLyolZT7X
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4R02hDaCUo
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanCk7RwEYS
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eqoVirEec
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0i2CzbAyx
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ570TxVDB16
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YdWtZs64Y
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fBywLXLgm
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy9vje6uZP
註定的。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVAftpSEe9
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9zUBg1iyn
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TUUFHht4z
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCzDW5J2tj
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPW67Oiyzn6
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpaLpcrvGd
停步。猶疑。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gHgCTg9Ic
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7r88DA2O5
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NEi3Dead2
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoV4OGjrEq
轉身。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoyohmAiaG
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEFpLs4GKC
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CD2u2pbAh
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQ5iE7uPQI
我回身走去。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyA620Svtrp
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOE84K0UIMy
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjuG6pcFyR
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVHsLKtGZi
把小狗抱入懷內。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1ZUV7qsfR
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SJi9XzbM9
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2bYuoNWZ1
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc41ZWWdL9H
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3ZY0vXwXD
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ726TaCKDLh
海風？海濱公園步道？356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RtPdq4yqk
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTgkMNPYkf
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1LRvC4ulo
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8KAGK0JRz
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHVrDe0pvE
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2H8s07bYM
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIsfmpq6iM
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4n66hYWvz
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnuJydX6tK
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzab5McdDQj
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSfQElkSKN
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfZNol8EKD
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeyLeX4ojJ
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngi7oLgYOV
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhayZZaqYO1
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4cEE9Vvvj
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGzhJUvElL
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtk9wi8v7Tm
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuFBfrpZs6
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmptRI7V6lN
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpUr01obQM
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjUfUmQdvX
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53uVoWdqtu
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtt2BIp88r3
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYwylk2koU
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWK7rPXH7B
鬱悶何來？356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQF9iYRRcM
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6fiqFHwcw
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kUNQq2VS8
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQ3WxheojM
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1GKVVqNTT
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDuyv58OJt
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84xkcSHmh4
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKLHyQG565
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTUkUM9wxd
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Zj4TSslk4
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjem4tMHeZD
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCmjcUCYfh
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Bc4DNAw35
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIfRlewy1n
然後呢？根本沒有然後。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPes09dRy1v
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYqGRwGTg7
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpy3KFXOOD
356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgoRjrjg02
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。356Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBpLNbIahD
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.201da2
