「去哪？」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZUsqbjjDs
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExM58VFRvi
「急事。」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvX08WcApu
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTknN0majgy
「你不吃晚餐？」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV648svvOHY
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGoqSLRh2E
我沒應答，逕自出門。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFN9YCmUOJg
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeeBFWUhWC
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD2HftSdq0
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lp9zVCxlX
難以言喻的鬱悶。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYkjvYYLEU
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQuDIjbT7H
長嘆。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfYVxHiqWz
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aVEyjudyi
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjWOTo3JcY
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUIFvYFMSC
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiKUIRb9ry
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2KGCtisfp
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rYyuzb3To
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3yNQ1hhoI
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfGNP74UdB
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWo1Tmb4BfC
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkLfV2Gp04
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ285MV0xgSU
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJlsBleXph
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeFb3ecN97
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNjlKUymql
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nHNq0Lpa9
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ulR8qOXyD
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ERDZdTTA3
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIROfnQGZB
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhenYhf61ov
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yovo3G2PQ
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVtGvBOxmy
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUmXyL9UPR
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8idM2otHz
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuAB9Gjems
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gTDruoIZ1
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlndQhZgQE
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17dojxbFY2
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4dhZ9pWud
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6wfq5ET9e
註定的。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk8wqu5JdT
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4R5yJ1whS
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYI5kR1nHCM
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8NF8VqkJ2
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvYZtgu8EZ
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoqpC9WxkK
停步。猶疑。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKeGErLnHq
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2oXf7SHlu
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVqL7s3Q4T
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTZfgEMKDL
轉身。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4O48NBS86D
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAZFtnejfj
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCeIHtqQUk
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6dgN5sLA5
我回身走去。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbxB93Nnya
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLy7dSOBIhS
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhR8linfWKa
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCZDqSBOHA
把小狗抱入懷內。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cSLvel2CZ
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOUH0uJ17K
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliw7cpMlGd
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IpBqIoNDH
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCnaNErIq8
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RnmGZ9Pye
海風？海濱公園步道？408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRfxxZWVH9
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMla7cQjSH1
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkyGtBktz4
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcGtnLNlhW
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Sin6LcsmM
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb7qGZmNLx
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaXAVHSkD2
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftCgxtPi2l
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HB32rO5qz
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTzuRySQpj
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6SknbKnIi
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3K2MAQIfs
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDthktiMqQ1
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPx58fi3VJ
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOFDWyr2YZ
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDRS3FGwMo
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9r4JThTUhI
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAzTFhjPJL
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TSIOIhsdy
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOmeIZabwd
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCDMUG8Ytf
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3HWTNt7J2
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkXATF3QrP
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOaNO9jUAa
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrWBaBVK58
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmA4S7fsGV
鬱悶何來？408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPhqdk6u5Q
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfPxdfx4U3
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk9xaZ1oYD
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0ErcgNkDu
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArGHW3zhvp
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8tJrMgUE4
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU00xjrSCP
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmVp2iLoob
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMBI3ESLKk
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4o0Y9tDjr
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgs1LK767y
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal93eJrHrw
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyBNc4Mwbs
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1F8N3YIkh
然後呢？根本沒有然後。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M23pdVr5y
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8p9X3Kxk4
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnSexqruDQ
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuH5znTubqO
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NAvvM8BPD
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.213da2
